Dan: Fans, we're joined once again by Juan LaFon! Juan, this is one of the most anticipated matches of the year! Let's go to the ring! Andy: This contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... <"Go NY Go NY Go" plays loudly in the background> Andy: ...accompanied by Vivien Divine, from New York City, weighing 250 pounds, THE KNICK MAN!!! Dan: The Knick Man looks psyched up for this contest! He can't wait to get his hands around "Honest" Nicky De Niro's throat! (The crowd stands on their feet, waiting in anticipation for The Knick Man. After a few moments, the camera shows The Knick Man led by his beautiful wife, Vivine Devine making their way down the aisle as the crowd explodes in applause and cheers. The Knick Man is dressed in his usual Knick Man Championship Jersey and shorts as he slaps the hands of some of the fans. Many of them have on Knick Man tee shirts and other Knick Man merchandise. Vivine smiles and waves at the many adoring fans as they continue down the aisle towards the ring. The Knick Man climbs up to the ring apron, and holds the ropes for Vivine. She enters the ring as does The Knick Man. Vivine takes the mic from Andy Burton and gives it to The Knick Man.) Knick Man: HELLO CHICAGO!!!!!!!! (The crowd cheers loudly) Knick Man: Ironically, I do love Chicago! I know that being that I'm The Knick Man, I'm not suppose to like this town, but Chicago, you're a great CITY! (The crowd chants "Knick Man" repeatedly) Knick Man: Well De Niro, it's time! You tried to stole my money! You tried to steal my good name! You tried to steal my career! But tonight, I'm not going to steal anything from you. I'm just going to beat on you until YOU repent for your sins! You see De Niro, we have talked the talk for quite a while now. Ever since my NBA days, you never liked me and I never liked you! You've attacked me from behind on many occassions and used every deceptive scheme and plan you could come up with to try and get the advantage over me! But now, NICK, you have to look at me FACE TO FACE, MAN TO MAN in front of all these fans out here in Chicago! I've been waiting to tear into your hide for a long time now, and tonight, I DO THE TEARING!!!! Andy: And his opponent... <"God Moving Over the Face of the Waters" by Moby begins to play.> Dan: Fans, we're receiving word that something is going on out in the parking lot!! Dan: OH MY!! Dan: Let's get some medical assistance out there! <"Honest" Nicky De Niro opens up the door and slumps out onto the concrete.> "Honest" Nicky De Niro: Awwwwgggghh....Owwwwwwwwww...got...to....get...up......fight....Knick Man..... Technician: Hey, there's no way you're going in there to fight The Knick Man! "Honest" Nicky De Niro: NO! I've got to fight him! I've got to let justice prevail! I can't let The Knick Man continue to defy the masses! I CAN'T LET THE PEOPLE DOWN! I'll fight The Knick Man if it KILLS ME! Technician: NO! You should wait until you're 100 percent! I think you're arm is broken! "Honest" Nicky De Niro: Well, I guess you're right. Knick Man, you don't realize how bad I want to fight you! I'm sick of you running your mouth when you don't have the skills to back it up! I promise you that every week on Monday Night War, I will reveal yet more shocking evidence against you! But tonight, don't think I'm gonna let you get off easy! Not a chance! You're gonna face the newest member of Eddie Turner Presents... BILLY KANE! Dan: Here comes Billy Kane! The Knick Man looks very upset! Billy runs in the ring and they're going at it! Both men trading blows left and right! The Knick Man gets a slight upper-hand, and now he whips him to the ropes! Big clothesline by The Knick Man! Juan: Is this Billy Kane guy any good? Dan: The Knick Man is on fire! Kane up on his feet, and The Knick Man sets him up for a suplex. Blocked by Billy Kane! Kane reverses it! BOO-YAA! Billy Kane waits for The Knick Man to get to his feet! He nails him with a superkick! Cover by Billy Kane! ONE.....TWO.....NO! The Knick Man kicks out! Juan: Why didn't De Niro just pay Billy Kane to kill The Knick Man? Dan: Kane brings The Knick Man to his feet...RUNNING POWERSLAM by Billy Kane! Billy Kane manhandling The Knick Man! He goes to the ropes...450 degree legdrop!!! The Knick Man rolls away!! The Knick Man is back on his feet! He's setting up Kane on the top rope! Juan: Some help Kane is. Dan: The Knick Man going for the Slam Dunk! Wait! Ozzy Bates running down to ringside! The Knick Man doesn't see him!! OH NO! Bates nails The Knick Man from behind! Andy: The winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification...THE KNICK MAN! Dan: Bates putting the boots to The Knick Man! Here comes Vic Garibaldi and George Muldoon! Bates nails The Knick Man with the Jailbreak! Absolutely devastating! Vic applying his patented Shakedown, and George Muldoon going up to the top rope!! BOO-YAA! Muldoon nails The Knick Man in the back of the neck with a legdrop off the top!!! Juan: Ouch. Dan: YES! Here come Daron Foley and Byron Brady! They're here to help The Knick Man! Brady and Foley brawling with Vic and Muldoon!! Several officials holding back Ozzy Bates now, as The Knick Man begins to get back to his feet! The Knick Man walking very slowly, you can tell that he's hurt! Foley and Brady taking the brawl back to the dressing room, but Billy Kane nails The Knick Man from behind with a spinning leg lariat!! Juan: It looks like the world will end in peril!!! Tune in next week! Same bat-time, same bat-channel! Dan: OH NO! Mista Smith and Blackjack Takahashi making their way out here! Ozzy breaks free of the officials grasp, and again he puts the boots to The Knick Man! Ozzy picks him up...JAIL BREAK on the concrete floor!!! Mista Smith grabs The Knick Man, and BOO-YAA!!! He nails him with The Dream Killer also on the concrete!! Takahashi and Kane stomping away! Juan: Cool, a slaughter! Dan: YES! Here comes "Big D" Devon Burke! Burke has seen enough!! Juan: STOP HIM! KILL KILL KILL! Dan: OH NO! Devon Burke stops in the middle of the aisle and now he's heading back to the dressing room! Brady and Foley still preoccupied with Muldoon and Garibaldi in the back! Burke is a coward! Juan: He's afraid! Dan: The officials are trying to restrain Ozzy Bates while Billy Kane, Mista Smith, and Blackjack Takahashi head back to the dressing room. Here comes a stretcher, and it seems like FINALLY this horror will be over! Juan: It's probably only just beginning. Dan: The Knick Man being placed on the stretcher, and finally we're gonna get some medical assistance! WAIT A MINUTE! Here comes Nicky De Niro!! De Niro is covered in bandages!! Juan: It's a mummy!! Dan: "Honest" Nicky De Niro limping down the aisle, and he's blocking the way! "Honest" Nicky De Niro: Knick Man, if you're injured, and I'm injured, then let's have our match! The odds are even now, so get up off that girney, and FIGHT LIKE A MAN!! Dan: Are they gonna fight? Juan: Yeah, a cripple's match! "Honest" Nicky De Niro: On second thought, you're not injured enough yet! Dan: What? OH NO!! LOOK OUT! Thripaq Nguyen off the top of the stands!!! BOO-YAA! Nguyen came off the top of the entranceway, and cracked The Knick Man through the stretcher with an elbow smash! The Knick Man is really hurt! Juan: No, you don't say? Dan: OH NO! "Honest" Nicky De Niro throwing his bandages off, and now he's pummeling The Knick Man with a pair of brass knuckles!!! The Knick Man has been busted open, and De Niro is NOT hurt! Juan: De Niro is a genius! Dan: Ozzy Bates picks up the broken stretcher, and he's slamming it down on the Knick Man's back!! Over and over again!! The Knick Man is bleeding from the forehead, and he's all cut up on his back! He's not moving! OH NO! Here come The Road Killers! They pick up The Knick Man....DOUBLE BACKBREAKER!! Now De Niro, The Road Killers, Thripaq, and Ozzy pounding away! Juan: This is great isn't it? Hey everybody, free shots! Dan: Bates peels the Knick Man up...ANOTHER Jail break on the concrete! Chandler Stone is out here! De Niro and Bates holding up The Knick Man...STONEY KICK RIGHT IN THE KISSER!! The Knick Man is knocked out! Nobody is here to help The Knick Man! Juan: He has no friends! Dan: The Knick Man being torn apart! Here comes Kyle Bane! OH NO! As if it couldn't get any worse! Bane picks up The Knick Man....BOO YAA! The Demon's Pit on the concrete! Bates immediately picks him up...JAIL BREAK YET AGAIN! Here comes Mr. Y! This is crazy! Mr. Y, Kyle Bane, Ozzy Bates, Nicky De Niro, Thripaq, The Road Killers, Chandler Stone!! All these men beating up the Knick Man! Juan: Let me get in a few shots! Dan: Mr. Y has the microphone! Mr. Y: Yeah! Look at you NOW, The Knick Man! Juan: This is humiliating! Dan: Mr. Y joining in the fray, putting the boots to The Knick Man! All these men destroying him! This is humiliating! The Knick Man down on the concrete, laying lifeless! The Road Killers and Chandler finally leaving the scene along with Thripaq and De Niro! Juan: Don't leave! Slay the heathen! Dan: Mr. Y raising his arms in victory as he heads to the back along with Kyle Bane! I've never seen anything like this! Bates the only man left, and he picks up The Knick Man once more! BOO-YAA!! Jailbreak again from Bates, and he's outta there! Fans, we've got to take a break. We apologize for this! When we return, big news about the next Pay-Per-View!