Dan Chan: Well, it's time for our bigtag bout for the night that pits Entrepeneurs Inc. of The Enterprise against The Pain Connection, of the Demonweb. For this match, Dima "The Russian Powerhouse" Lerminskiy will join me for commentary! How do you call this one Dima? Dima: Both of these teams are WEAK!! Dima could crush them with one hand!! Dan Chan: Let's go to the ring! Andy Burton: Our next contest is a tag team attraction, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit! ("It's All About The Benjamins" begins to resonate through the arena...) Andy Burton: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by Johnny Edwards and the C.E.O., and representing The Enterprise, with a total combined weight of 514 pounds... Brian Walters... Scott Howard... ENTREPENEURS, INC!!! Dima: Ha Ha Ha!! Entrepeneurs stink!! Capitalist swine... Andy Burton: At this time... Mr. Walters would like to favor the audience with a poem. Dan Chan: This should be a Poffo... er.. boffo. Brian Walters: This poem is dedicated to one of my associates... Wrestler extraordinaire With beautiful blonde hair Makes the mommies cry "dios mio" "The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio Dan Chan: Is this necessary? Brian Walters: Gifted and talented in so many ways Studwell has no problem with the money he pays He's a scorpio and Scott's a Leo "The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio He's your friend and mine Cross him and he'll snap your spine He drives Benzes while you drive Geos He's "The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio Dan Chan: Well, now that that's done... Brian Walters: Cash is no problem for him The ladies lust is a deadly sin He makes it calor when it's hace frio The International Champion, Chris Del Rio! Dan Chan: I'm going to be sick. Andy Burton: And their opponents... led to the ring by Christina O...with a total combined weight of 490 pounds... Steven Dunne... Danny Moore... THE PAIN CONNECTION!!! (As The Pain Connection hits the ring we hear Dan Chan talking to himself.) Dan Chan: What's that? ... We what?.. Okay, are we going to?.... We are, alrighty. Dima: You talk like Mr. Why, Chan. Dan Chan: Look at this those four men in there right now are looking to tear each other apart!! Ryan Gentle's going to have his hands full with this one. Dima: Gentle is a stupid American, blind as a bat! Dan Chan: So *you* referee!! Dima: Dima is needed here! Dan Chan: Dunne tearing into Walters while Howard and Moore go at it. I'm told by our director that we have a special guest caller on the phone! We'll get to that in just a minute. Gentle finally getting order and the match officially begins. Walters and Dunne in there. Both of these men very tough, very dangerous. Walters is actually a college graduate, Dima. Dima: Dima went to school of hard knocks. Dan Chan: That joke is older than Bea Arthur. Dunne with a rake of the eyes for a quick advantage. He's hitting Walters with some quick lefts. He sends Walters into the ropes, but Walters hangs on and... what is this? He's pointing to his temple! Brian Walters: TOO SMART FOR YOU!! Dan Chan: And Dunne with a fast rollup! 1! 2! And a kickout! He won't make that mistake again! Dunne with an armbar, twisting his shoulder around. Once... Twice... he pulls him into his corner, and a fast tag to Danny Moore. These two men have a contrast of styles that keeps their opponents guessing. Moore comes off the second turnbuckle with a fist to the elbow! That will leave a mark! Dima: You said MARK!! Dan Chan: Shhh. I'm told we're ready to talk to our special guest. Who is this on the line? Voice: Who else would it be, Dan-O? The one and only, the next International Champion... Dan Chan: I know, I know, Kid Fresh Alex Raptor... Alex Raptor: Damn right, Dan-O! How's it going Yakov Smirnov? Dima: Who? Alex Raptor: Now, did you smarks all hear that poem? Sounded like a love sonnet to me... Dan Chan: As we see Moore turning that armbar into a chicken-wing like manuever, I ask you, is there any reason for your call? Alex Raptor: I'm here to tell C-Fish that he may have a bed buddy in Walters, but I'm no friend of his. Survival of the Fittest was only the beginning of what will happen to him. My truck is out of the shop and ready to do some damage like I did to Valentini. Dan Chan: I see. Anything else? OHHH!! Clothesline out of nowhere levels Moore!! Alex Raptor: Yeah, where's that Whoo-on LaFon minx, eh? (Imitating Al Pacino) WHOO-ON!! WHOO-ON!! Dan Chan: Moore's back up to his feet and Walters ROCKS HIM with another clothesline that sends him over the top! Both men taking a second to regroup as Christina O walks over to her man. Alex Raptor: You know what the "o" stands for, right Dan-O? Dan Chan: We best not get into that, Mr. Raptor. Walters with a BIIIIIG FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!! Alex Raptor: I'm told that's the only thing about Walters that's big... WHOO-ON!! Dan Chan: And who told you that? Alex Raptor: Mrs. Lerminskiy. Dima's mommy. Dima: I WILL CRUSH YOU!!! Alex Raptor: You're going to crush me? I'm right in the parking lot, cuddles. Dima: WHEN THE SHOW IS OVER I WILL DESTROY YOU!! Alex Raptor: When the show's over? Quit Stalin and kick my ass if you can. (We hear a dial tone.) Dan Chan: Alex Raptor is defying Dima to find him in the parking lot. (Dima throws down his headset and storms off.) Dan Chan: And Dima is gone, I'll call this one on my own, kids. Ryan Gentle is putting a count on Moore as Walters is back in the ring. He makes a tag over to "Smashing" Scott Howard. Look at the size of this man! Moore rolls back in and Howard immediately goes to work, putting the boots to him. Howard picks him up and throws him into the ropes and there's a HUGE powerslam!! Howard with a cover! ONE!! Only a one count! You're not going to beat a guy like Moore with a powerslam, that's for sure. Howard backs Moore into the corner. Gentle gets between them calling for a break, and OH MY! Walters choking him with the tag rope! This is uncalled for! Howard with a quick tag and Walters is back in. Hoists up Moore... No, Moore is blocking it! A SUPLEX BY MOORE!!! That took a lot out of him, I don't know if he'll be able to follow up. Walters back to his knees, clutching his back and trying to get back to his corner. Moore also up and MANDIBLE CLAWHOLD!!! That's one of Moore's favorite moves and he's got it on good too. This will also give Moore a couple of seconds to catch his breath. What's this? Voice of Alex Raptor: Yeah, Dan-O can you hear me? Dan Chan: What is it now? Alex Raptor: Dima's not too bright is he? Dan Chan: Well, Mr Raptor... Alex Raptor: I mean, he didn't figure out that I'm sitting right behind you guys, did he? (The camera shows Dan Chan, and pans back to see Alex Raptor with a "Pick Me Vic" sign and a huge grin. He wears a "Who's The Boss?" T-Shirt and holds a cell phone in one hand.) Dan Chan: Certainly one of the odder stunts pulled by Alex Raptor as we get back to the ring. Moore lets go of the mandible claw and tags in his teammate, Steven Dunne. Dunne picks up Walters and a VERY impressive backbreaker! And ANOTHER!! A bit of a cocky look on Dunne's face and that's the most emotion we've seen out of him in a long time. Hoists him up and a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Walters is a tough customer, but after the mandible claw, and a series of high impact moves, how much can he really take? Dunne pulls him to the middle of the ring and... stepover toehold? No! Into a Figure Four Leglock in the middle of the ring! Walters is trapped and that knee of his must be hurting!! This could be all for Entrepeneurs Inc. NO!! Howard in to break it up, that brings in Danny Moore and we have another pier six brawl on our hands. Lefts and rights flying and this isn't about wrestling, these men came to fight! Look at this! Both members of EI going for a ride!! Outside the ring they go!! BOOYA!! What's this? Danny Moore is going to EI's corner, he's getting that scroll that Walters read the poem off!! He's motioning to the crowd!! Is he going to rip it up? NO! HE'S GOING TO EAT IT!! What the hell is happening here? Here comes Chris Del Rio, begging him not to eat the poem. I'm sure he was touched by the words of affection. He's down on his knees! Your International Champion, Ladies and Gentlemen. Del Rio's mad, he's trying to get the scroll out of Moore's hands! A Low Blow! Where's Ryan Gentle? The CEO has him distracted!! OH NO Del Rio just whacked Moore with the scroll!! Moore is out! Who could take a shot like that? Del Rio, running away like the champion he is!! Howard rolling in and the CEO hops off teh ring. This is another miscarriage of justice. And Howard with a ONE TWO NO!!!!! MOORE KICKED OUT!! Howard tags in Walters, and Walters doing jumping jacks! What a horrid display. He's slapping on the 4.0 GPA!! Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is an extremely painful hold that has won matches and ended careers, and nobody does it like Walters. This is doing damage to Moore's arms, his neck and his back. Moore had his lights put out with that scroll, but he still kicked out, only to be put in this hold! I'm surprised he can stay conscious with all the pain he must be in! I've never seen anything quite like this. This is a testament to Moore's tenacity... he looks like he's ready to tap out!! HE'S NOT TAPPING OUT!! What's going on? Ryan Gentle calling for the bell... Andy Burton: In order to prevent Mr. Moore from serious injury, referee Ryan Gentle has stopped the match. The winners of this bout... ENTREPENEURS INC!! Dan: What a contest this was! Entrepeneurs Inc one of the top contenders for The Perfectly Perfect Duo's AICW World Tag Team Titles! Fans, we'll be back! Up next, the long awaited contest between "Honest" Nicky De Niro and The Knick Man!