Dan: We're back, ladies and gentlemen, and I have been told that we have a tape we are going to be broadcasting in just a moment...pre-recorded comments from the Knick Man! Let's take a look! (The camera zooms in on the jumbotron as the scene opens inside a beautifully furnished room. The television is on and we see a tape of AICW Saturday Night Heat running. A door in the room opens and in walks The Knick Man. He is dressed in a long black and gold bathrobe and a pair of black slippers. The Knick Man flops down onto a nearby sofa and grabs his back.) Knick Man: Ouch! (The Knick Man looks over at the table where there is a bottle of soda. He picks up the soda, opens it up and drinks it. He then looks up at the camera.) Knick Man: Ahhh! Refreshing! I must admit, that was one heck of a beating De Niro laid out on me. It's just too bad he DIDN'T GET THE JOB DONE! How about that Nick? As usual your feable attempts to eliminate The Knick Man fail once again! The doctors say I'll be out A WEEK at most! I guess you forgot what kind of great athletic condition I'm in huh De Niro? (The Knick Man observes the screen where we see Nicky De Niro driving in The Knick Man's car) Knick Man: And I must admit, you sure did a number on my car! Of course being the moron that you are, you videotaped the whole thing! I got it right here on Saturday Night Heat. You will be hearing from my lawyers Nicky and I WILL be pressing charges against you! And you WILL be buying me another automobile! Hey BANE? I guess you better put a stop payment on that check because THE KNICK MAN AIN'T GOING NOWHERE! It takes more than a BASEBALL BAT to put The Knick Man out of action! The only way you getting me out of here is if you KILL ME, chop my body up into little pieces, and bury it under the Pacific Ocean! Bane, De Niro, I'm gonna make the AICW PURE HELL for the two of you pieces of trash! You think five thousand dollars is enough to take out THE KNICK MAN? (laughs) Better luck next time chumps! But one thing you can do for me Bane. You can right another check for five thousand dollars paid to the order of JOHN WILLIAMS! Because when I get my hands on Nicky De Niro, THE NICK MAN, Nicky De Niro will be laid up in the HOSPTIAL! Hey, you never said WHICH Nick Man you wanted out of here! (smiles) (The Knick Man turns off the television, takes another sip of the soda and continues) Knick Man: Byron Brady, you want to form an alliance to take out the trash in the AICW? WHERE DO I SIGN UP? It will be my pleasure to team up with you, Burke, and all the rest of the MEN in this federation who ACTUALLY WRESTLE instead of breaking every rule in the book to get ahead. I mean, Argie wouldn't know justice if she was sitting in a COURT ROOM! But Brady, Burke, together we can stop up all the toilet remains in this federation and put an end to this CRAP! (The Knick Man stands up and looks at the camera) Knick Man: Ozzy Bates, I haven't forgotten about you either pal! You're another EGOMANIAC that needs a HUMBLING courtesy of The Knick Man! Unfortunately, I don't have the time right now to take that Television Title from you and beat you like your papa should have! Don't worry though! After I get finish putting De Niro's Mafia wanna be BEHIND out of business and kicking The Demonweb back to the lower regions of Hell, I will be ARRESTING a certain CONVICT of that Television Title! Because I FIRMLY believe that you don't have the goods to be a good champion in the AICW, and I FIRMLY believe that I'm the man that's gonna have to prove it to you! AICW, The Knick Man is here to stay! Like it, or not, you all WILL live up to the standard that I'm setting here in this federation. Because if you don't, (waves) The Knick Man will just have to SLAM DUNK YOU ON OUTTA HERE! Peace! (The Knick Man holds up his two fingers, kisses them, then points them at the camera. He then walks out of the room as the scene fades to black.) Dan: The Knick Man is certainly unaffected by De Niro's attack! In fact, he almost seems doubly determined now! Has Nicky De Niro only fueled the Knick Man's fire? Dima: We shall soon see, shall we not? Dan: But right now, let's take you down to Andy for our next match! Andy: This contest is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way down the aisle, from Inglewood, California, weighing 245 pounds, here is @$$-Kicker Andrew!!! Dan: The Ass-Kicker has definitely become a superstar to watch here in the AICW! Dima: Bah! Anyone who associates himself with American gutter trash such as Westside Walavan cannot be much to speak of! Dan: Well, Andrew is set to take on the Golden Boy, Johnny Smith, here tonight! Dima: Another worthless American! Smith is simply washed up. Andy: And his opponent--from Atlanta, Georgia--weighing in at 276 pounds, here is "The Golden Boy," Johnny Smith! Dan: Johnny Smith is still right up at the top of his game, and still has dreams of gold here in the AICW! Dima: As well as dreams of once again being with Erotic Erin. Neither will ever come to pass! Dan: Smith is in the ring now, and Andrew is wasting no time taking the fight to the Golden Boy! He's lacing into him with stiff rights and lefts! Andrew now with a DDT attempt, but Smith picks him up and stuns him with an inverted atomic drop! Now a follow-up clothesline takes him down! Smith's taken the early advantage! Dima: Bah! It will not last, as is typical of Johnny Smith! Dan: Smith now with a back bodydrop on Andrew! Wait, what...?! Dan: It's The Stone! What's he doing out here? Dima: If he is looking for the restroom, he is in the wrong place! Dan: What's that on the Stone's T-shirt--? "Chandler Stone Referee School"? Dima: I am sure it proudly carries Thripaq Nguyen's seal of approval! Dan: Johnny Smith with a side Russian leg sweep on the A-kicker... Dima: He is not Russian! Dan: Smith has spotted the Stone, and he's none too happy at his presence! The Stone showing the shirt off to ringside fans and flashing that trademark grin of his...he's obviously up to no good! James Roma, the referee for this match, is warning the Stone to stay back from the ring! And the Stone...what's he doing, giving instructions to James Roma? Dima: This James Roman could use a few pointers! Dan: James Roma is an experienced AICW official, and The Stone's overstepping his boundaries here! Andrew rebounds off the ropes, but Smith catches him and a fallaway slam takes him down! Smith goes up top, but the Stone's protesting! Andrew back to his feet, and he turns around to be greeted by a flying shoulder tackle! Smith makes a cover, but the official's out of position! James Roma is apparently on the receiving end of a lecture from The Stone! Dima: Nothing is more painful than to sit through a lecture from an American! Dan: Smith none too happy about the situation! Smith now grabbing Roma by the shoulder and questioning him as The Stone looks on in horror! The Stone's calling for a disqualification! Dima: Why are they not ringing the bell? Dan: Well, it's because The Stone isn't an official AICW referee! Dima: He should be an official referee! He should be made what you Americans call an "enforcer"! He is completely fair and much more respectable than an ex- boxer with a girly voice! Dan: Smith back to the action as he whips the @$$-man to the buckles and follows him in with a clothesline! Smith now with a series of open-hand chops! The Stone now openly berating James Roma, apparently wanting them out of the corner! Dima: This "Stone" follows the rulebook stringently! Dan: Knowing the Stone, his intentions are far from benevolent! Smith now sets Andrew up, and an atomic drop! GOLDFINGER!!! But the Stone is up on the apron, distracting the official! Smith releases the hold and goes after the Stone! The Stone leaps off the apron as James Roma attempts to restrain Johnny Smith! Smith has one leg out the ropes, he's intent on going after the Stone! Dima: This "Golden Boy," he is needing to focus on the match! That is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful, and what separates us Russians from you Americans! Dan: Roma finally backing Smith off! But wait a minute, @$$-Kicker Andrew's back on his feet! Look out! BOO-YA!!! Smith turns to meet a superkick right to the face! Andrew goes up top, and now...MOONSAULT!!! Andrew makes a cover!!! Now the Stone leaps into the ring and...what's he doing?! He grabbed James Roma's hand and quickly slapped it to the canvas three times! Dima: Ha! He is showing this Roman how to count to three! Dan: That was a fast count, regardless! Now the Stone raises the @$$-Kicker's hand victoriously, and he's celebrating like he just won the World title! James Roma is trying to cut short this premature little celebration, though... Dima: Let them have their fun! Smith got beaten fair and square! Dan: The Stone now trying to explain the situation to James Roma! Roma isn't going to let this match end this way! Dima: Why not? It was a decisive finish! Dan: Smith clearing the cobwebs, and he's up on his knees! He tackles The Stone! They roll out of the ring, and they're pounding away on each other! James Roma leaps outside the ring to break them up! Now A-kicker Andrew joins in the fray and tries to break the two apart! Here come more officials from the dressing room! Smith is after the Stone, and nothing's going to stop him! Andrew's putting the boots to Smith! ... Now here come the Golden Cavalry!! The Golden Cavalry are coming to Johnny Smith's aid! More officials are trying to regain order! Smith is trying to fight his way through to get back at The Stone! It's chaos here! Ladies and gentlemen, we've got to regain order here, but stay with us! More action when we return! Dima: And more DIMA!