Dan: Welcome back to Heat! Coming up next is the highly anticipated matchup between "The Convict" Oswald Bates and Y-Pac! This should be a great ma... ["Macabre Tavern" by the Church begins to play] Dan: Here's Ozzy again with his usual antics! [A glow of blue lights covers the arena. Then, from behind the curtains walks Cynthia Garibaldi. She is wearing a black leather mini-skirt, and her hair is braided. She walks out with a mic in hand, as she walks to the end of the ramp...the music dies down, as she speaks...] Cyn: Yes people...it's that time of the week once again. It's time for the Ozfest. It's time for the Oswald Bates show. And now your host for tonight...Oswald "I'm too meaty, and Cyn's too greedy" Bates... ["Macabre Tavern" picks up once again, and from behind the curtains walks "The Convict" Oswald Bates. He is wearing black tights, black knee pads, black and white boots, and a black vest. Ozzy also has the AICW 'Extreme' Title around his waist. He walks up to Cyn, give her a kiss, and takes the mic] Ozzy: Do you know what the hardest part about being a AICW champion is Cyn? [They begin to walk towards the ring] Cyn: What's that babe? Ozzy: Well...when your as good as I am, there is simply no competition. I mean, last week I embarrassed this Mr. Y character, and I beat him to a bloody pulp. Now, during the match, some 'rookie', Ooooooo, hops over the guardrail, and helps his little miget friend. This rookie known to the AICW Top Brass, and 'The Rookie' Robby Riedel. The worst part of it is, is that someone of the caliber of myself, because someone climbed a guardrail last week, now has to lower myself to the competition once again. Cyn: What do you mean Oz? [They enter the ring] Ozzy: Well...I beat the [beep] outta the Y-guy last week, but some guy hopped the guardrail, and beat my head in, with a steel chair. Now, this guy is now getting a shot at MY AICW 'Extreme' Title, just because he interfered in my match. Now, this week, in about 5 minutes, he will get the wrestling lesson of his life, courtesy of the Ozfest. Now granted, I have no problem teaching these pieces of crap how to wrestle, but I had other plans. Like my hospital match...what the hell happened to that Kelly Lynn? Huh? I had some plans to end the Knick Man's and the Pretty Boy's careers. [Cyn whispers something into his ear] Ozzy: Good point Cyn. Ms. Lynn, Mrs. Lynn, Kelly, or shall I just say tramp? [Crowd boos] Ozzy: I know your not the head around here. There's only one head around here, but he's to busy playing with balls, than to pay attention to this federation! Corky, and you know who you are. Why wasn't my match booked? Were you too busy sexually harrassing one, Miss Erin McCoys? Corky...may I give you some advice. Pay more attention to the men in the sport, and less to the dimples in John Williams' basketballs. Which by the way, are pretty deflated these days... [Crowd boo's even louder] Ozzy: But now back to tonight. I get to fight a jobber. Dammit Cyn...I though I dropped the 'jobber' title. What's this all about? I'm sick... ["Master of Puppets" begins to play] Dan: Here comes Y-Pac!!! Y-Pac in the ring and he's all over Ozzy Bates!!! Cynthia quickly exits the ring and referee Ryan Gentle ringing the bellt to start this match! Y-Pac with the irish whip to the ropes and NICE DROPKICK BY Y-Pac! Pac with the cover.......one........two........and Ozzy easily kicks out! Dima: Heh! Even a lamb could kick out of a Y-cover! Dan: Y-Pac setting Ozzy up....NO Reversal by Ozzy! Pac coming back annnd BOO-YA!!!!! Ozzy picking him up and spiking him down hard with authority! And Riedel is hurt after that one! Ozzy bringing him to his feet. Lifts him up and DOWN WITH AN ATOMIC DROP!!!! And here comes Ozzy and he NAILS HIM WITH A BULLDOG!!!! And Oswald Bates in complete control here! Ozzy with the lazy cover..........one..........two..........and that's all he can get! Dima: Americans are pathetic! If that were Russian Roulette, this match would have been over by now! Dan: Ozzy Bates in control here as he brings Riedel...I mean Y-Pac to his feet! Lifts him up and KA-BOOM!!!!!!! OZZYBOMB!!!!!!! And look at Oswald Bates putting his hand to his ears to a loud chorous of boos! Ozzy to the ropes and ATOMIC LEG DROP in very familiar fashion! Ozzy with the cover again........one........two.........and he pulls him up! Referee Ryan Gentle giving Ozzy Bates the warning as Ozzy brings Y-Pac to his feet once again! He places him on the top turnbuckle and here we go!!! Ozzy sets him up annnd FAHGETTABOUTIT!!!!!! BRAINBUSTER OFF THE TOP ROPES!!!! And I get the feeling that Y-Pac is in serious trouble! Dima: Heh! His career will be over before it even begins! Dan: Wait a minute!!!! Here comes Mr Y!!!!!!! Mr Y charging towards the ring!!!!! Ozzy pulling Y-Pac to his feet and MR Y FROM BEHIND WITH A AX-HANDLE!!!! Referee Ryan Gentle siganling to the timekeeper and this match is over! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The winner of this contest, as a result of a disqualification, "The Convict" OSWALD BATES! Dan: Ozzy Bates getting the DQ victory here and HE'S GOT MR Y!!!!!! Oh boy!!!!!! Ozzy lifts him up and CHOKESLAMS MR Y DOWN TO THE MAT!!!!! And Ozzy Bates putting the boots to Mr Y!!!!!! Here comes the officials and security and Ozzy climbing out of the ring and he quickly makes his way to the back with Cynthia! Nevertheless, Ozzy Bates getting the victory as he heads to the back with that fake AICW Extreme Title of his! Dima: Everything about American's is FAKE! Dan: What an exciting evening so far. Let's all get ready for tonight's main event. This match pits the eccentric Television Champ Zeek Monkey against "King" George Muldoon of the Firm. It should be a good one... Dima: They are not Russian, so they are weak! Andy Burton: Ladies and Gentlemen! The next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the AICW's Television Championship. Introducing first the challenger. From Toronto... and representing the Firm. Here is George Muldoooooooon! Andy Burton: He hails from Nightmareland and is the current AICW Television Champion and is accompanied by his manager Nikki Electra. Zeek Monkey. Dan: Well, here comes Zeek Monkey and it looks like he's carrying that doll. The crowd's cheers are deafening. Wait both Zeek and Nikki are wearing Alliance t-shirts. And the crowd is going crazy. Dima: They are American, yes? Then they are already crazy. America is a BIG nuthouse. In Russia we send crazy people to Siberia. We are all mentally fit. Dan: So you say.... And Sensuous Samantha sitting in the crowd for this one! I don't know if Nikki would appreciate her scouting her man Monkey! Unless of course, she's here to see Muldoon! Anyway both Muldoon and Zeek are in the ring and BOO-YA! Zeek wasting no time as he levels "King" George with a vicious clothesline. Dima: In Russia we hang our clothes on steel lines. Dan: Zeek still on the offensive as he gabs a handful of hair and then scoops Muldoon into a bodyslam. Zeek bends down to grab him but Muldoon kicks him in the HEAD!!! Oh look here comes Nikki Electra. Nikki: Hi Dan, hi ya Dima. Say could you show me why you're the Russian Powerhouse? Dima: Of ooooooo! Dan: It looks like my partner is down for the three count. And Muldoon is going to work on Zeek. He's got him backed into the corner and he's driving a shoulder into Zeek's gut. Muldoon sends Zeek into the opposite corner and he follows in with a splash... ZEEK DUCKS and Muldoon is tossed out to the floor. Zeek to the top rope... BOOYAH! A guillotine leg drop from the top rope, to the floor. But both men are down. Dan: Great to have you with us Devon. Devon: I saw your partner was out and I wanted to watch the newest member of the Alliance. Dan: Ramon Del La Cerveza laying on the count and Zeek is getting up. He grabs Muldoon and drags him up too. Cerveza is at five and Zeek tosses Muldoon into the guardrail. Zeek is giving "King" George no quarter tonight. Devon: He's been the aggressor throughout. Zeek Monkey is one of the toughest SOBs I've ever seen. Dan: Zeek "helps" Muldoon back into the ring and he takes his time going in after him. Muldoon pokes Zeek with a thumb to the eye and takes him down with a clothesline. BOOYAH!!! Standing elbow drop by "King" George and that short layoff by Zeek Monkey gave Muldoon the breather he needed. Devon: When you're in control you gotta stay on top of things, but that's the hardest thing to do. Believe me. Dan: Muldoon is trying to apply the figure four and Nikki is shouting encouragement to Zeek. And Zeek kicks Muldoon in the gut and roles out of the way. Both men on their feet and into a collar and elbow tie up. Zeek wins and sends Muldoon into the ropes. "King" George holds on and stops coming back. But OH MY! Zeek knocks him over the top with a clothesline. Muldoon out to the floor. Zeek follows him out and picks him up. BOO-YAH He rams Muldoon's head into the ring post. And again. Devon: Listen to the crowd count along. 5-----6-----7-----8-----9------10. Dan: Zeek stops and he roles "King" George back into the ring. Zeek follows in and grabs Muldoon.. he's applying a standing arm wringer. And Muldoon is visibly in pain. Devon: He's got that locked in good. Look at the upper body strength of Zeek Monkey. Dan: Zeek still twisting away and he releases the hold. Muldoon fires off a right hand and another. Muldoon into the ropes. But Zeek with a leap frog. "King" George on his way back and BOOYAH! Zeek Monkey nails him with a leg sweep/clothesline combo. Devon: That was wicked effective Dan. Look at how that one move totally deflated Muldoon. Dan: Zeek wasting no time as usual. He pulls Muldoon up and he's wrapping him up. It looks like a weird hug. OUCH! He snaps Muldoon over with a ferocious "head and shoulders" suplex. Zeek picks up Muldoon again but "King" George gets him with an eye gouge. Devon: Illegal but effective. Dan: Cerveza admonishing Muldoon and "King" George sends Zeek into the ropes. Monkey ducks and Muldoon with a sunset flip. ONE...... TWO...... THR NO Only a two as Zeek kicks out and both men are back on their feet. Muldoon with a right hand and Zeek responds with one of his own. Right in the middle of the ring these two men are exchanging blows. Devon: George Muldoon can't hope to brawl with Zeek Monkey. Dan: You're right and Zeek backs Muldoon into the corner. Zeek tosses Muldoon across the ring and BOOYAH! Follows in with the Zeek Missile. Muldoon is dazed. Zeek grabs him and there it is DDT! Devon: This one is over Dan. Dan: Yes it is as Zeek Monkey connects with the Instrument of Destruction. ONE..... TWO..... THREE. This match is over. Devon: Dan the one thing that stood out was the lack of pinfall attempts. Zeek Monkey wanted to punish Muldoon and "King" George never had a real pinning opportunity. That's the best kind of match for a champ. Andy Burton: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and STILL AICW TV Champion..... ZEEK MONKEEEEEY! Dan: Zeek Monkey celebrating a very strong win over George Muldoon and WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! HERE COMES ADOLPH and HANS SCHMUTZHAUSEN!!!!! And they are armed with a flagpole!!!!!! Adolph coming into the ring annnnnnnnd...... [CRACK] Dan: Adolph cracking that pole across the head of Monkey!!!!! Devon: Pardon me for a moment... Dan: Devon Burke leaving the broadcast area and he's gonna help Monkey!!! WAIT!!!! LEGION OUT OF NOWHERE FROM BEHIND AND BOO-YA!!!!!! CRACKS A CHAIR ACROSS THE HEAD OF DEVON BURKE!!!!!! BURKE IS OUT and Legion laughing evilly! Nikki trying to help but Legion clotheslines her from behind as well!!!! Legion lifts her up and INSTRUMENT OF DESTRUCTION ON NIKKI!!!!! Adolph now removing his swastika medallion and he's pulling out a RAZOR!!! What is he going to do!!!!!! AND ADOLPH IS CARVING A SWASTIKA ON ZEEK MONKEY'S CHEST!!!!! This is sickening!!!! Legion getting something in the ring. IT'S THE BAG!!!!! IT'S ZEEK MONKEY'S BAG!!! Legion tossing the bag to Hans! Hans dropping the bag at the side of Monkey! Adolph taking a match and HE SET THE BAG ON FIRE!!!!!!!! And Devon Burke is the only member of the Alliance in the building! This is totally disgusting! Ladies and Gentlemen, we're out of time! See you this Monday on War! Good night! (Scene shows Adolph and Hans Schmutzhausen standing in attention as well as Legion laughing loudly on the outside while the crowd boos lustfully. Scene fades to black.)