Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I would like you to direct your attention to the stage to my left ... Dan: AICW Television Champion Troy Walcott making his way to the ring! There's his bodyguard The Executive! Dima: These lazers, fireworks, and explosions are blinding my eyes! Dan: Troy Walcott getting in the ring with the mic! Walcott: Ladies and gentlemen ... welcome welcome welcome ... to the second edition of The Pretty City Show. Last time, our special guest ... yours truly ... made the ratings go through the roof! Well, it'll be nothing short of miracle when the sparks fly again tonight. So without further ado, the showstopper would like to address some current issues that have been on his mind as of late before I introduce my guest. First and foremost ... I would personally like to be the first to congratulate myself for becoming the longest reigning AICW Television Champion in history. (The crowd begins to boo loudly as Troy bows egregiously). Thank you, thank you... you're all too jealous! You're all far too jealous! Well anyways, without further ado, my guest for today is none other than MARK McMAHONNNNNNN!!!!!!! Dan: Listen to these fans! They're on their feet for Mark McMahon! These fans greeting McMahon, and Mark shaking every hand offered to him! Walcott: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hurry it up will yuh? My patience is wearing thin! (McMahon is now on stage. He is wearing a black leather jacket, and some jeans with a baseball cap and sneakers) Goodness gracious! Why do all fan favorites have to take a whole year to shake everyone's hand?! Get over here! (McMahon immediately takes offense, then regains his cool and shrugs it off). Walcott: Mark McMahon. You and I did battle at No Gimmicks Needed... the pay-per-view of the month. You had the priviledge of taking on the showstopper... the main event for my coveted Television title, and you blew it! You let down all these millions of fans across the continent and across the globe down...what do you have to say? McMahon: Well I'd like to... (Walcott immediately and rudely pulls the mic away from McMahon and continues speaking.) Walcott: Well yes...I'm sure you would have LIKED to defeat me...and I am sure you would have LIKED to be AICW Television champion...but the fact of the matter is that you aren't, because I am! I beat you fair and square with my patented PrettyPlex right in the middle of the ring. How do you plan on climbing back up the ladder from such I crushing defeat? McMahon: Well I plan on... (Walcott again rudely snatches the mic from in front of McMahon who is beginning to get a lit frustrated). Dan: How rude! Walcott: You know something Mark McMahon, well you obviously didn't plan good enough. You obviously didn't study the tapes, work out, train to beat me, you probably didn't even eat your Wheaties! And that's why you lost! (McMahon looks at the crowd in disbelief at the audacity of Walcott to be so blatantly rude). Mark McMahon... what are your goals now that you've lost maybe you're only shot at AICW gold ... because if you can't beat the TV Champ, then who can you beat? I bet even Eastside Caravan and his band of Motor Mouths could beat you. How do you plan on rebounding from such a crushing loss?! McMahon: Well, what I was gonna do was (Walcott again rudely snatches the microphone away however this time McMahon grabs him by the collar and jacks him up then begins to speak)... Now, Walcott, you gotta lotta mouth there son, now we can settle this right here RIGHT NOW! The fans wanna see me kick your teeth down your throat and by golly I reckon on doing just so ... Walcott: Oh yeah oh yeah?! Dan: Walcott handing the belt to the Executive! We're gonna have a fight right here! Wait a minute! THERE'S CHRIS DEL RIO! He just crawled out from under the bed! OH NO! BOO-YAA!!! He just nailed McMahon with The Quickie! This was a setup! Walcott: (Laughing) You know somethin' C-Licious? Sometimes I feel we should go on Jeopardy or something because we are too smart for these morons! Dan: Del Rio pounding away on Mark McMahon! These fans chanting for Byron Brady, but he's not here! OH NO! The Executive setting up McMahon and OH GOD NO!!!! A POWERBOMB right onto the cement floor! THAT WAS ABOUT A GOOD SEVEN FOOT DROP!!! McMahon looks seriously injured! Walcott walking over to the unconscious Mark McMahon, and he's unzipping his pants!!!! OH NO! He's about to...wait a minute, there's "Ravishing" Ray Richards. He's standing over Mark McMahon!! Richards: Troy! What the hell is this?! You could've killed him! Walcott: Ray ... what the hell is wrong with you ... man I noticed you've been acting strange lately! Get outta the way! Dan: Richards isn't moving! Here comes some medical assistance! McMahon is being taken away on a stretcher! He's motionless!! Del Rio: What the hell is wrong with you Ray?!?!? Dan: Richards is ignoring them and heading back to the dressing room! Walcott: Ray Richards... I am talking to you. Don't start this bulls#!t again. This ain't the time to have an identity crisis! You'd better get your act together, or you can up and take your a$$ right outta The Enterprise...I MADE YOU! You're a 6 foot 8 nobody without me!!! You hear me!!! Dan: Richards has disappeared through the curtains! He has left the Enterprise!!! We've got more action for you! Let's go to the ring! Andy: The following tag team contest is set for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit! ("After the Flesh" by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult blares over the speakers.) Andy: First, from the Demonweb, to be accompanied to the ring by their manager, Christina O, at a combined weight of 490 pounds, "The Masochist" Danny Moore..."Sadistic" Steven Dunne...The Pain Connection!!! Dan: Whoa! Look at Danny Moore! He's charging down the aisle at top speed with a maniacal grin on his face! Dima: He is like an out-of-control wildebeest! Dan: Steve Dunne and Christina O are ambling to the ring at a more reasonable pace...Danny Moore seems to be pretty proud of his T-shirt. Kyle Bane with the World title on the front, "Walk the Hard Line!" on the back... Dima: HA! Insult to injury heaved at Byron Brady! Dan: Danny seems genuinely pleased just to be in the ring here tonight... Dima: He just waved to you, Daniel! What is that all about? Dan: (waving back half-heartedly as the camera switches to him briefly) The guy's nuts. And there you see him gesturing his hands as if to be "shooting" non-Demonweb fans! Thank God this man doesn't have a live gun anywhere nearby! Dima: Perhaps he needs to play a little Russian Roulette! (Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave" starts up on the sound system.) Andy: ...at a total combined weight of 541 pounds, from Interstate 69, Blade and Storm--the Roadkillers! Dan: And here they come! These two men have deadly serious looks on their faces, and they did not come here to mess around! Dima: Puny Americans think they are tough! They make me sick to my stomach with nausea! Dan: Storm doesn't look like he's shaven in a few days. He's adjusting his leather gloves--he looks ready for a fight! Dima: Ha! Russian Roulette would give him a fight he would never forget! Dan: Blade, the big man, looks even MORE ticked off than usual, if that's possible! Dima: He needs an attitude adjustment! Russian Roulette would be just the man to give it to him! Dan: Now these men are in the ring, and they want to get this match started! Referee Peter Kaplan backing both teams off. Nobody's going to so much as throw a punch without his say-so! Danny Moore stepping out of the ring, and Steve Dunne looks to be the man to start this out. He's got a wide, sadistic grin on his face, almost like a cheshire cat, as he cracks his knuckles. Meanwhile, Kaplan is trying to get one of the Roadkillers out of the ring. It looks like we're going to see Storm starting this match off. Dima: Ha! The punier of the two American Roadkill! Dan: Storm goes right after the bigger Steve Dunne, nailing him with forearms to the head and an Irish whip into the ropes, but Dunne reverses the whip. Storm off the ropes, and Dunne with a hiptoss, but Storm right back on his feet and he tackles Dunne and laces into him with a flurry of punches! Referee Kaplan backs Storm off, while Dunne wipes his mouth in some small measure of disbelief, perhaps... Dima: He was taken off-guard by the quickness and ferocity of the smaller man. Russian Roulette, he would NEVER be taken off-guard! Dan: Dunne measuring his opponent, and now looking to lock up...Storm locks up with the bigger man, but delivers a knee right to the breadbasket, and now he's hammering away at Dunne's back! A neckbreaker now takes the bigger man down! Now a fistdrop to follow it up! Now he's lacing into the bigger man with boots! Dunne reaches the ropes, and Kaplan trying to back Storm off. Dunne seems a little disoriented by his volatile opponent's style... Dima: He is letting this Storm wear himself out! Then he will move in for the kill! At least, that is what a true athlete would do! One such as Russian Roulette! Dan: Steve Dunne once again putting a hand out, perhaps to lock up...Storm slaps the hand away, but Dunne drives a boot to the midsection of his opponent! Now an arm wringer, and he drives a shoulder into his foe's armsocket! And again! Now he delivers a buzzsaw chop right to the chest of Storm! And another! And another! And another finally takes Storm down! Now a big legdrop takes the wind out of his foe, and an attempt at a cover...1...2...a kickout by Storm. Storm back on his feet, but Dunne with an open-handed palm strike to the throat! Now an inverted atomic drop, and a lariat takes Storm down once again! 1...2...kickout! Now Dunne setting Storm up for a suplex...no, Storm hooks his leg inside Dunne's! Storm falls back with a snap suplex, taking the Sadistic One down! Storm back up, and he's measuring his opponent. Dunne regains his vertical base, and Storm off the ropes with a flying bodypress...but Dunne catches him in midair! But Storm struggles, and he slips out and twists around...DDT! Dunne getting back to his knees, while Storm grabs a handful of hair. A shot to the midsection of Storm, but Storm delivers a haymaker right hand to Dunne's face! Dunne with another shot to the midsection, but again Storm with a right hand! Oh, and Dunne reaches up and rakes the eyes! But Storm blindly drops and delivers a low blow to his foe! Dima: Typical cheap tactics employed by you Americans! Russian Roulette does not need such pettiness! Dan: Dunne rolls to the outside, and Christina O tends to her man! Storm is clearing the cobwebs and letting his eyes recover. Blade gives Storm an encouraging pat on the back...what's this? (Lord Awesome, in red pants and red leather vest, walks down the aisle and into the broadcast booth. He sits down next to Dan and puts on a headset.) Dima: What are you doing here? Dima is here, we do not need another color commentator--least of all an American! Lord Awesome: Blow it out your shorts, Russkie. You're just jealous that I wear red better than you do. (Dima looks insulted as he looks at his own outfit, then at Lord Awesome's.) Dan: Dunne's back in the ring, and Storm is ready for action! Storm seems to be motioning for Moore to get in the ring... I hate to break during the middle of this great action, but we have to take a commerical break. The cameras will continue to run in case a pinfall takes place. We'll be right back! Don't go ANYWHERE!