Dan: An easy kickout by Andrew now, Blaze with an irish whip, attempts a clothesline, but Andrew ducks it, and BAM!!! A flying elbow barge by A.K. Andrew. Now Andrew back in control, sends Blaze in for the ride...but wait, Sikes is creeping from behind. Westside now pushes andrew out of the way and WHAM!!! A collision between Sikes and Blaze and Sikes goes careening to the outside!! Dan: That's not good teamwork by the duo of Blaze & Sikes, but an excellent save by Westside Walavan! Dan: Wait a minute what's this! It's that surfer guy coming out of the crowd again! He interefered in Westside Walavan and Vic Garibaldi's match last week! What's he doing? He just crawled under the ring, and I don't think Andrew or Westside saw him! But anyhow, Andrew in the corner, giving the signal for his superkick, and Westside setting Blaze up for the Westside Powerbomb! Now Blaze up in the air and ANDREW WITH THE SUPERKICK SENDS HIM HARD TO THE GROUND!!! A cover by Westside Walavan....Ryan Gentle counts.....1........2 THREE!!! THEY GOT EM!!! Westside Walavan and A$$ Kicker Andrew, very impressive in their tag team match up! Andrew now on the second rope raising his hands and Westside calls for the mic again. Westside Walavan: Did you guys think we really would give up our friendship over wrestling. That was just a ploy so that the two losers over here would think we were easy to beat. Exactly the opposite. When we are together, we are unstoppable. Pretty soon PPD, your titles are ours! Dan: But look out, the surfer guy from under the ring from behind!! WHAM!!!! HE JUST BROKE THAT SKATEBOARD OVER ANDREW'S HEAD!!! Westside turns around and grabs him! The fans are screaming, they wanna see Westside get revenge. Now Westside throws him into the ropes and WHAM! The big boot! Now setting him up for the Westside Powerbomb! And...wait a minute, whats this, the lighs just went out...now the spotlight is front of the curtain...it's Samantha! Samantha: What the hell makes you two think that you can beat my Perfectly Perfect Duo when you're having trouble with Sikes and Blaze. You two better think again before you mention our names anymore chump!(The lights come back on and the surfer guy is gone with Westside looking confused). Dan: The guy got away, and now Westside tending to Andrew and this mysterious surfer has snuck away...who is he affiliated with if anyone? Cesar: I have NO idea Dan! But here comes Juan! Maybe she knows! ("Supersexy" Juan LaFon makes her way back down the aisle to chants of "WHO-ON" continusly. She slaps the headphones off Cesar.) Juan: Get the hell out of my seat, you GEEK! Cesar: Ok Juan! Gosh! (Cesar stands up and makes his way to the back.) Dan: That wasn't necessary Juan! Juan: What's the matter Dan? I kicked your boyfriend out? You're pathetic! Dan: Let's go to Andy! Andy: Ladies and gentlemen...EDDIE TURNER! Dan: Eddie Turner making his way down the aisle. He's not the friendliest guy in the world is he, Juan? Juan: I think he's a NICE guy Dan! Just because he doesn't like YOU doesn't mean that he's not friendly! Dan: Let's hear what this guy has to say. Eddie Turner: First off, I wanna talk to you! That's right, Poindexter! I thought I told you to that when you introduce ME, you introduce me with some respect! I don't know who the hell you think you are, Burton, but if you give me anymore lip, I'll slap that goofy bowtie right off your scrawny little neck!! I know you're a little on the stupid and forgetful side, but THAT'S NO EXCUSE!!! Next order of business, Chris Del Rio... Del Rio, don't think for a moment that your AICW International Title is safe! You're a paper champion, and everyone knows it! You've been ducking Mista Smith ever since you CHEATED to "win" that belt! As far as I'm concerned, Mista Smith is STILL the AICW International Champion! You can't defend the belt against no-names forever, and sooner or later, Mista Smith is gonna get his rematch and regain the belt that rightfully belongs to him!! Think of it like this. You didn't win a title, you won yourself a ONE-WAY TICKET TO HELL, and Mista Smith is drivin' the bus!!! Del Rio, if you've got any GUTS in that bony frame of yours, you'll put that belt on the line against Mista Smith! He's got a lot to say to you, Del Rio, so without any further ado, EDDIE TURNER PRESENTS...MISTA SMITH!!! Dan: Here comes the former AICW International Champion! This man is one of the most hated superstars in the AICW! Juan: You're so biased Dan! I'm gonna tell him what you said about him and I hope he SNUFFS you! Eddie Turner: Mista Smith, I just want you to tell all these people about our plans for Chris Del Rio. Mista Smith: Del Rio, I'll be blunt. I don't like you. I don't like "pretty boys!" Del Rio, they don't come much prettier than you! I mean, when we was fightin', I wasn't sure if I should hit you, 'cause Del Rio, you look like a girl! You ain't the AICW International Champion...I AM! You're the AICW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!!! Chrissy Del Rio, just give me my belt back and I'll be a happy man. Mista Smith ain't above hittin' a lady, and Del Rio, if you don't start answering my challenges, I'm just gonna have to b*tchslap the makeup off your face! Eddie Turner: And what about tellin' these people about this new side business venture you're starting up? Mista Smith: Oh yeah... It's called "Ghetto Children" and it's basically a youth hostel where children of the ghetto can come and practice gang violence in peace! They don't gotta worry about their parents finding the guns, or telling them what not to do anymore! They show up, and we let them in once they pay their tuition of $3,000. Eddie Turner: $3,000??!! Isn't that a bit much for kids to pay? Mista Smith: Think of it as a small test of intelligence. If these kids are smart enough to steal the $3,000 then they're smart enough to get into a gang! Eddie Turner: Sounds like a sure thing to me. Everybody wants to know where Eddie Turner has been as of late. I've been doing a little business of my own! Tonight, I'm here in this god-forsaken state to announce to the world that EDDIE TURNER PRESENTS has finally found the members worthy enough to be a part of the greatest wrestling organization ever seen! First, let me introduce to you, the current AICW North American Tag Team Champions, Blackjack Takahashi, Thripaq Nguyen, THE ASIAN ASSASSINATION SQUAD!!! <"Kokoro" by Kitaro plays throughout the arena> Eddie Turner: Hey, you people show some respect!! Dan: I don't think these people are big fans of the AAS! Juan: Shut up Dan! You're not showing any RESPECT! Thripaq Nguyen: Yo, what up, kid?! Hey, you potato-growin' idiots shut up! It's not everyday that CELEBRITIES like us show up at the ASS-END of America! Blackjack Takahashi: INTERNATIONAL celebrities! Thripaq Nguyen: That's right, yo! I know that it's punks like JOHNNY BLAZE and DAMION SIKES that be frontin' the Asian Assassination Squad, and I assume that's why these people be giving us the cold shoulder! Cause you all be loving those NO-TALENT punks, BLAZE AND SIKES! Blaze, Sikes, we're gonna take you two out...just because! JUST BECAUSE YOU BREATHE!!! Eddie Turner: That's right! Blaze and Sikes, sign the dotted line, and show up at Survival of the Fittest! I've got one more order of business to take care of. That is to introduce and thank the man that made ALL this possible! Your friend and mine....NICKY DE NIRO!!! <"God Moving Over the Face of the Waters" by Moby plays over the sound system.> Dan: WHOA! Nicky De Niro...the other mind behind Eddie Turner Presents! Juan: YES!!!! De Niro RULES!!! Eddie Turner: Welcome, Mr. De Niro! Tell the world what we have in store for those four unlucky punks who are gonna step into the ring with us on April 26! Nicky De Niro: In due time, Eddie. First, I'm here to make a public challenge to The Knick Man. SHUT UP! I'M TALKIN' HERE!!! I'm sick of seeing you walk around bragging about your money! You come out here and pretend to be a GOODIE-TWO-SHOES, YUCKIN' IT UP with ALL the fans, yet behind the scenes where the fans eyes can't see, you talk trash to the other wrestlers, you brag about your money, your car, your house! I'm an HONEST man, John! And I'm out to prove to the world that you are nothing but a FAKE! Sooner or later, your WHOLE WORLD is gonna come crashing down on top of you! So I'm challenging you, at Survival of the Fittest, to the first ever "BANK-OFF!!" You think you got more money than me? Then just show up and prove it! We'll set up a computer, and look in each other's bank accounts, and just see who's worth more! I'm gonna EXPOSE you like a PENTHOUSE PET!! I'll be waiting for your answer, "Knick Man." As for Survival of the Fittest, I could care less who they throw in the ring with Eddie Turner Presents, because nobody in this federation can hang with us. Eddie Turner: The dawning of a new era has begun here in the AICW! Eddie Turner Presents WILL reign supreme over the AICW...and there is NOTHING anyone can do about it!! Dan: WOAH!!! Eddie Turner Presents!!!! A powerful alliance indeed! Juan: Yeah, you're just saying all that stuff now because you're scared that I'm going to tell them how you were talking behind their back! I'm still gonna tell them you know! Dan: I....I...I don't care! We'll be right back!