Dan: And we're back! The Gay World Order here in the AICW? Juan: I know you're so excited Dan, you can't contain yourself! Dan: Let's go to our first match! (DING DING DING) Andy: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a THREE-ON-ONE handicap match! In the ring to my left, at a total combined weight of 697 pounds, ERNEST ROBINSON, "THE ROOKIE" ROBBY RIEDEL, AND EL AGUILA NEGRO!!! Dan: These three young superstars ready to take on Nicky De Niro, whom I think is gonna get destroyed! Juan: Young superstars? Yeah, sure they are Dan! What, they have a combined record of 1 and 101? Yeah, sure Dan! <"God Moving Over the Face of the Waters" by Moby plays over the sound system> Andy: Their opponent, from New York City, weighing 238 pounds, NICKY DE NIRO! Dan: Nicky De Niro coming down the aisle alone! Juan: Go DE NIRO!!!! KILL THEM!!! SQUASH THEM DEAD!!!! YEAH!!! Dan: He's got the microphone with him! Nicky De Niro: Knick Man, I'm gonna prove to you and the entire world that when I beat the CRAP out of Henry Thunder, it wasn't a fluke! Watch this match closely, because I am taking on THREE of the top AICW superstars! We got Ernest Robinson, one of the best martial artists competing in the AICW today. El Aguila Negro, the world's BEST luchadore! And not to mention "The Rookie" Robby Riedel, a future AICW WORLD CHAMPION! These competitor embody the FUTURE of the AICW! I'm curious, "Knick Man," what do you think about Mr. Robinson, Mr. Negro, and Mr. Riedel. I'll tell you what the "Knick Man" says about these guys in the locker room. On Ernest Robinson: "a no-talent, Chuck Norris wanna-be who couldn't even cut it with Black Power." That's what your "hero" thinks about Ernest Robinson, a respectable competitor. On El Aguila Negro: "a taco-bell eatin' skinny twerp who could never hang with the heavyweights. Furthermore, drives a digusting dust-bucket of a car that couldn't compare with my Knick Man Championship Lexus." That's unbelievable isn't it? On Robby Riedel: "a no-good punk kid who rides everyone elses jock to move up the ladder. Most likely a brown-noser who did a few 'favors' for the AICW brass! Furthermore, has no-talent whatsoever, and if he ever tries to kiss MY ass, I'll lay the smack down on him!" See what your beloved "Knick Man" thinks of his fellow competitors!! Now, I'm gonna shake each of your hands, and wish you a good match. Dan: This is completely unlike Nicky De Niro! I don't trust him for a second! Juan: What are you talking about Dan? I think Nicky De Niro is an upstanding citizen here in the AICW! You people got De Niro all wrong! Dan: De Niro shaking their hands, and OH NO! Now he opens fire on Robby Riedel! De Niro with a hard right hand! YEAH! Ernest Robinson and El Aguila Negro jumping in, and now De Niro on the receiving end of a hard barrage!! He may have bitten off more than he can chew! Juan: I think El Aguila has been chewing on too many toco's from Toco Bell! The guy's breath stinks so bad, I can smell it all the way from down here! Dan: De Niro backed against the ropes, being pounded on by three men! Robinson raising his arms in victory, and now Negro and Riedel doing the same! OH NO! De Niro's not giving up just yet! He nails Negro from behind and whips him into the corner!! Negro falls to his knees, and De Niro shoves him down in the corner! De Niro stomping away on his chest, but Robinson nailing De Niro from behind! OH NO! De Niro with a rake of the eyes, and a roundhouse right! De Niro trips Robinson up and shoves him down in the corner on top of Negro!! De Niro stomping away on Robinson, who's on top of Negro! Now De Niro grabbing young Robby Riedel, and he knocks him down with a right hand! De Niro piling all three men up in the corner, and he's stomping away! De Niro's kicks getting faster and faster!! These fans actually coming to their feet, cheering De Niro!!! Juan: Finally they have realized what a great athlete and honest man this man is! Dan: De Niro yelling in all three men's faces! Nicky De Niro: DON'T YOU EVER PUT YOUR HANDS ON NICKY DE NIRO! Dan: De Niro continuing to stomp away! What an onslaught from Nicky De Niro! Juan: I told you so Dan! But do you ever listen to me? NO! What do they pay you fore anyway? You're a LOSER! They don't even need you Dan! Dan: De Niro grabbing Riedel, and he pulls him up by the hair. De Niro tosses him out of the ring, and Riedel hits the concrete hard! De Niro with another stomp on Ernest Robinson, and he picks him up out of the corner. De Niro setting up Robinson. Vertical suplex by De Niro! De Niro immediately back to his feet, and he picks up El Aguila Negro! Negro with a weak punch, and De Niro floors him with a right hand! De Niro with a stomp, and he goes to the ropes. Legdrop by De Niro! Robinson back to his feet, but he gets caught with a clothesline!! Riedel rolling back in the ring, but several stomps to the back of the head slow him down! De Niro grabs Negro around the neck...CHOKESLAM by De Niro! What a move! Juan: I wonder if Negro bleeds little toco pieces? Dan: Negro rolls out of the ring, and De Niro follows him out! De Niro tosses Andy Burton out of his chair and he's setting up El Aguila over it! OH NO! KNEEBREAKER by De Niro on the chair!!! Negro down on the concrete, clutching his knee! Juan: Aw, the poor little baby hurt his knee! GET UP YOU WUS!!! Dan: De Niro rolling back in the ring, he catches Robinson off-guard with a kick to the midsection! DDT by De Niro!! There's a cover! ONE.....TWO.....Riedel makes the save! De Niro up on his feet, and he gives Riedel a front neckbreaker!!! Cover by De Niro! ONE.....TWO.....THREE!! It's over! De Niro rolling Robby Riedel out of the ring, as El Aguila struggles to get back inside, and now De Niro turning his attention to Ernest Robinson. This match is officially over, but De Niro continuing to go to work! Juan: It's not over until De Niro says it's over! He's cool! Dan: De Niro whips Robinson to the ropes...SPINEBUSTER!! De Niro motioning to the referee to count. ONE.....TWO.....THREE! Robinson is also thrown out of the ring, and now De Niro peels Negro up off the canvas! Whip to the ropes, BIG clothesline by De Niro!! Negro nearly did a 360! Juan: I don't think he can count that high Dan! How about just a three! Dan: De Niro picks up Negro!! BOO-YAA!! Slingshot facebuster by De Niro!! Devastating! De Niro giving the sign for The Taxi Driver! There's the Irish whip! BOO-YAA! ONE.....TWO.....THREE!! What an impressive victory for Nicky De Niro! Andy: The winner of the match, NICKY DE NIRO!!! Dan: Nicky De Niro very impressive this evening as he sends a message out to The Knick Man! Juan: Yeah, sure Dan! Just like you! One minute, you're dogging the man, and the next minute you're riding his jock! You're pathetic Dan! You really need to get a life! Dan: I have a life, thank you! Juan: Yeah, sure you do! Dan Chan: Oh boy, I just looked at the format for this broadcast, we're about to go to the ring and hear from Chandler Stone! Juan: Isn't that the same wennie boy that Elvis squashed to become the Television Champion! (imitates Stone) "Juan thinks that The Stone is nothing more than a leftover piece of crap" Dan Chan: Will you stop? Let's go to the ring. THE STONE: I want all you ignoramuses to simmer down because The Stone has a lot to talk about and I want to make sure you all catch what I'm throwing. First of all people want to know why The Stone has been so darn quiet over the last few weeks. Well unlike others who's entire life is based upon wrestling, The Stone has many, many business ventures. In fact, I just closed a lucrative deal that will insure me being at the top of everything for a long, long time to come. Speaking of closing if you think that the Johnny Smith fiasco over in Japan was enough to close my mouth you've got another thing coming to you. Let me tell you all what REALLY happened over in Japan. The Stone had a deluge of business meetings the day before the event and Japanese business meetings are very serious ventures. Let's just say things went extremely well for me on the business side and the money I raked in took presidence over the match. Second, even with my concentration elsewhere I could have beaten that coot Johnny Smith just like that, but I ate some BAD sushi the night before the match and wrestled with food poisoning. It was a performance for a lifetime considering I was having my stomach pumped right up until my ring introduction. Third, The Stone had a little compassion left in him and decided to let Johnny Smith have one last day in the sun before I take that old horse out back, shoot him, and turn him into glue. Johnny, I gave you the opportunity and you took it, that is the last freebie you old codger. Next time you get the full force of The Stone. The final reason Japan wasn't the athletic success I wanted it to be...The Stone went out and got ALL the booty. I had Geisha's to the left of me and Geisha's to the right and to top it all off The Stone had an EROTIC experience. What they say is true, too much damn sex does weaken the legs. Japan was my downtime Johnny, now The Stone gets back to business inside the ring and you're definitely going to catch what I'm throwing and what I'm throwing is a beating. Now I bet you're wondering why The Stone felt the need to come to ringside and get involved with James Roma while he was officiating Olden Boy's last match. Well, the officiating in the AICW has been weak at best. Roma is the top official and it takes him about a five to count to three. He's so blind you could steal his watch while he's looking at his wrist. He might as well be a parapalegic he moves so damn slow. The AICW superstars get away with murder...believe me I know. I was hoping to initiate him into my referee training program and he was doing so well, but he blew it at the end so James you're going to have to pay some more tuition to The Stone Institute and take your courses again. I guess the only way to teach is by example and that is why The Stone has gone out and gotten himself an AICW referee's license. I promise to be the most unbiased official since Thripak himself. Things are going to shape up around here even if I have to do it all by myself. Getting back to The Stone's favorite subject...Johnny "Belongs in the kitty litter because he's definitely a..pussy" Smith. The rumblings in the back say you don't want nothing more to do with The Stone, well Johnny, too damn bad because The Stone isn't going out by LETTING you get a free win over me in some God forsaken country. It's on like your mama's cheap perfume and just like your daddy I am going to lay some major smack on you. You like your little Goldfinger, well tonight, the Stone has a finger for you. Say hello to the PEOPLE'S FINGER Dan Chan: Oh no.....What??? He just took his index finger and put it on his chin. He's striking a pose. This guy is unbelievable. THE STONE: How do you like that Johnny? I'm so HAN-DAMN-SOME. The Stone has EVERYTHING you dream you had Johnny and I am going to treat you like an old age home treats those old folk who crap themselves and cause problems for the hard working administrators. I'm going to smack you down Johnny. You and your two pieces of monkey crap are done at the next PPV and I am going on to my rightful world title shot. Smell you later, Johnny. Dan: The Stone sending a message to one "Golden Boy" We'll be right back! Stay tune to more of Saturday Night Heat!