Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our MAIN EVENT! (crowd pops) It is a tag team attraction, scheduled for one fall--and it is for the AICW World Tag Team Championship! (cheers from the fans) Introducing first--from Detroit, Michigan--at a total combined weight of 480 pounds, the Spartan...the Wolverine...the Extreme Beings! Dan: The Extreme Beings certainly look ready for this match! This will be their first title shot since their dramatic return here to the AICW, when they helped Lance and Max get back their manager! (Footage from the January 12th War is shown, where Spartan and Wolverine jump the barricade and whacking the Nubian Warriors with steel chairs.) Dima: Ha! I remember that night as clearly as if it happened several weeks ago! Those puny Americans are pathetic! Dan: The Extreme Beings certainly made their return in dramatic fashion, although Samantha and her men didn't seem too grateful for their help in that match! (Cut to footage of a PPD interview from earlier in the week.) Lance Studd: Now, these guys say that they respect our wrestling talent, but they don't care so much for our "egos." Well, Wolverine and Spartan, DO WE GIVE A DAMN?! NO! (cut) Max Studd: These guys sure seem confident. Well, we can be confident, too. Actually, why should we even have to be confident? We're know we're going to win in the first place! (cut) Sensuous Samantha: EXTREME BEINGS, this coming Monday, you're going to need all the help that YOU can get! Dan: Some might say the PPD wouldn't have Samantha by their side or the belts around their waists right now if not for the Spartan and Wolverine! Dima: Of course, it is obvious they needed the help of their fellow American dogs to keep those belts! As for that ugly American woman, she is of no use to anybody! Andy: And their opponents... (White Zombie's "More Human Than Human" blasts throughout the arena.) Andy: ...led to the ring by their manager, Sensuous Samantha, from Palm Beach, Florida, weighing a combined 525 pounds, the AICW World Tag Team Champions: Lance and Max--the Perfectly Perfect Duo!!! Dan: The Studd twins look like they're ready for this title defense! Dima: They look like they are ready for the gym! They are puny Americans! Dan: The PPD enter the ring, and the challengers waste no time in going after them! The Spartan caught Max off-guard, and he's pounding away at him while Lance brawls with the smaller Wolverine! The Spartan whips Max into the turnbuckle, and follows through with a BIG avalanche in the corner! Lance going toe-to-toe with the pugnacious Wolverine, and Wolverine seems to be getting the worst of it! The Spartan locks Max's head up, and hits a running bulldog out of the corner! Now he's coming to his partner's aid! He nails Lance with a shot to the back, and now the Extreme Beings are double-teaming him! They whip Lance Studd into the ropes, and a double clothesline sends him down! Now the Spartan stays on him, while Wolverine tosses Max out of the ring! The Spartan setting Lance up for a suplex, and...OH! Wolverine just hit a flying body press from the apron onto Max Studd down on the floor! The Spartan holds Lance up in the air, displaying his power before letting him come down hard to the canvas! The Extreme Beings are in control of this match, they want that gold! Dima: Bah! They are worthless Americans, they do not deserve the gold! Dan: Spartan slaps on a reverse chinlock, while outside Wolverine sets up a table! Max is back on his feet, and he nails Wolverine from behind! Now they're trading fists! Dima: Max does not want to go through table! He is afraid! In Mother Russia, we are strong like the BULL! (pounds chest) We go through dozen tables like they were soft mattress! Dan: Lance struggling to reach the ropes, and Samantha is pounding on the canvas for her men! She's gotta be worried! Dima: Of course she is worried! She is watching her "meal ticket," as you Americans say, slip away! Dan: Wolverine whips Max towards the steel barricade, but Max holds on and reverses it, sending Wolverine into those steel steps! Now Max is putting the boots to Wolverine! Back in the ring, Lance almost has a foot by the ropes, but Spartan drags him by the hair into the center of the ring! Lance is trying to get back to his feet! And over there you see Max taking Wolverine by the head and preparing to slam him head-first into the barricade! Referee James Roma sticks his head between the ropes and he's trying to maintain order both inside and outside the ring! Max briefly distracted, and Wolverine takes full advantage! Wolverine with an elbow to the midsection, and now he lifts Max up and drops him throat-first on the guardrail!!! Dima: Stupid American! He allowed a puny referee to distract him, and now he pay the price! Dan: And Lance is almost on his feet, but Spartan tightens his grip! Samantha is screaming, and Lance drops Spartan with a jawbreaker! Dima: This Samantha Sensuous, she enjoys making screaming, no? Dan: Wolverine's out there setting Max up on that wooden table! Dima: Ha! Max is going through table! Puny Americans, wood is as nothing! Dan: Lance is back on his feet, and the Spartan charges him but Lance with a belly-to-belly! Now Lance picks the Spartan back up, tosses him in the corner, and a series of knife-edge chops! And what's Wolverine doing? He's going all the way upstairs! He's perched on the top rope, playing to the fans, but he's wasting too much time! BOO-YA!!! He just missed with a 450 splash off the top, and he went crashing through that table!!! Max rolled to safety just in the nick of time! Dima: Stupid Americans! You always waste more time showboating than concentrating on your jobs! Dan: And Lance whips the Spartan into the opposite corner, following through with a clothesline! Now he sets him up, and a nice piledriver! 1...2...kickout! Lance brings his opponent back to his feet, and an Irish whip sends him in! The Spartan on the rebound ducks a clothesline attempt and hits the other side! Lance leapfrogs over the Spartan, and catches him on the rebound in a big powerslam! 1...2...kickout! Samantha seems to have calmed down some, but she knows that her boys aren't out of the woods yet! Dima: She never calms down! She is like wild beast! I do Daily Grind with her other day, she act like monkey on sugar rush! Dan: It seemed as if she had a thing for you, Dima! Dima: Every woman has "thing" for Dima! But this American whore, she frighten me! Dan: James Roma is ordering the still-dazed Max Studd back into his brother's corner! Now Lance measuring the Spartan, and a beautiful standing dropkick right to the jaw! Dima: You have never seen a standing dropkick until you have seen a Russian's standing dropkick! Dan: Lance makes a cover, but Wolverine pulls his leg! Lance is not happy! James Roma trying desperately again to keep order! Max comes around and nails Wolverine! The Spartan takes advantage of the confusion and attacks Lance! The Spartan whips Lance into the ropes...Max just took Wolverine out with a DDT on the concrete! Wolvie's probably not gonna be getting up from that one! Dima: Because he is fragile like cheap American porcelain! Dan: And Lance slides between the Spartan's legs, and quickly back on his feet he comes from behind with a German suplex! 1...2...kickout! Lance gets him back on his feet and backs him into the ropes. A few shots to the head, and now a whip across the ring...Spartan comes back, and RIGHT into a spinebuster from Lance! Lance is signalling for the end! It could be over! Max is climbing up top! Lance gets the Spartan up on his shoulders, and...BOO-YA! PERFECTLY PERFECT EXECUTION!!! Dima: That was not perfect! Only a Russian has perfectly perfectly execution! Dan: One, two, and...that's it, it's all over! Andy: The winners of this contest, and STILL World Tag Team Champions, the Perfectly Perfect Duo! Dan: Samantha certainly pleased with her men! Dima: Bah! She is all too easily pleased! Dan: The Extreme Beings put in a good showing for themselves at the outset, but this wasn't their night! Dima: Bah! Do not make pathetic excuses for these Americans! They are just like all the rest! They are worthless! Dan: Let's take a look at some highlights from the action! (highlights of the match are aired) And there you see the Spartan in the ring, recovering from that Perfectly Perfect Execution he took. He's looking down outside the ring at his partner, who also took quite a beating this match especially in missing that 450-splash on the table! He looks like he's about to leave the ring to help hi...WAIT A MINUTE! FROM BEHIND!!! THAT'S RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!! Dima: HA HA HA HA!!! I laugh heartily at the ease with which Russian Roulette takes his opponents by surprise! Dan: RUSSIAN ROULETTE!! What's he doing here?! Dima, what's the meaning of this?! Russian Roulette comes from behind, gives the Spartan a boot to the gut and BOO-YA! There it is, the Russian Roulette! Russian Roulette now flipping the bird at the Spartan's fallen form and going back to crawl under whatever rock he came out from under! Dima: That was beautiful! It almost brings tear to my eye! Russian Roulette does the Motherland proud! Dan: Russian Roulette coming out here just to send his message and get attention! He just added insult to injury against the Extreme Beings! Dima: Indeed! And with Russian Roulette, you just never know when the gun will go off in your face! AICW, watch out for Russian Roulette! And that is bottom line, because Mother Russia say so! Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, we're out of time! For "The Russian Powerhouse," this is Dan "The Man" saying so long for now! Dima: FOR RUSSIA!