Andy: This contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Hoboken, New Jersey, weighing 350 pounds, MISTA SMITH!!! Dan: Mista Smith is perhaps the meanest man ever to step foot in the ring! Dima: Mean, but he has no self-control! Us Russians are experts in psychology! Dan: I don't think Mista Smith cares too much about that! OH NO! He's pulling the guard-rail! Look at the fans scatter and jump away from this monster! That's exactly what he is! Andy: And his opponent! From Chicago, Illinois, weighing 265 pounds, EMT! Dan: Everyone is on their feet! In only a short period of time, EMT has become one of the most popular wrestlers in the AICW! Dima: Not as popular as Russian Roulette! In Russia, his face adorns every major magazine and newspaper cover! Dan: Well, good for him. EMT is a great role-model for all of our fans, and he's gonna try and put an end to Mista Smith, who is obviously a bad influence! Wait a minute! Who is that? Dan: That's "Fury" Frank Crow! I guess he's here to enjoy some good ol' AICW action just like everyone else! Dan: Mista Smith charging EMT! He's punching away! EMT is in the corner! Referee Ramon De La Cerveza losing control already! Dima: Pathetic referees! Dima should be the official! I am an enforcer! Dan: Mista Smith is stomping on EMT like a mad-man! This is crazy! He's dragging EMT by the hair to the center of the ring! Mista Smith continuing to stomp away! He drops the leg across EMT's chest! Mista Smith in control of this match. Referee Ramon De La Cerveza isn't too happy about the way Mista Smith is conducting himself! Smith growling at De La Cerveza! Mista Smith picking up EMT. He sets him up and a nice belly-to-back suplex! Smith now going up to the second rope. He's waiting for EMT to get to his feet! BOO-YAA! Mista Smith with a double axhandle off the second rope! EMT goes down again! Smith with a non-chalant cover! ONE....NO! Only a one count! And gimmie a break! Mista Smith complaining that it was a three-count! This guy is out of his mind! Dima: Like all Americans, he can't count! Dan: Smith is still arguing, and EMT is getting back up on his feet! EMT tapping Mista Smith on the shoulder! Smith turns around! EMT nails him with a roundhouse right! There's another! EMT with an elbow smash! EMT rallying back! OH NO! Mista Smith with an eye gouge and he gets a chance to take a breather! Dima: You Americans have no endurance! When I was only five years old, I ran from Moscow to St. Petersburg non-stop in the freezing cold! Dan: Smith now with a chokehold in the corner! He's ignoring referee Ramon De La Cerveza's count! Mista Smith is like a man possessed! EMT is nearly foaming at the mouth! Ring the bell! Dima: This Ramon De La Cerveza is weak-willed! Dan: Smith finally breaks the hold! Referee De La Cerveza is admonishing Mista Smith! He should be fined and suspended! Smith slaps on a chinlock! EMT's face is bright red! Mista Smith has on a chinlock, but it looks a lot more like a chokehold! Yes it is! What is wrong with referee Ramon De La Cerveza?! Smith should be disqualified! Dima: This De La Cerveza is blind! Dan: Mista Smith breaking the hold, and he raises his hands in victory! This guy is too much! EMT slowly getting to his feet, Smith assisting him. Mista Smith picks up EMT around the waist! BOO-YAA! He drops him stomach first across his knee! If this continues any longer this match is gonna end! Smith whips EMT to the ropes! EMT back and he runs under a big boot and clips Mista Smith's knee! Smith goes down! EMT goes to the ropes once again! Mista Smith is on his feet! Flying forearm by EMT! Smith up again, and EMT with a dropkick! Mista Smith is frustrated! EMT with a clothesline, followed by an elbow drop! There's a quick cover by EMT! ONE....TWO...NO! He's gonna have to do more than that if he wants to pin Mista Smith! EMT now drops the leg across Smith's chest! EMT going to the top rope! He's up and BOO-YAA! He connects with a flying elbow drop off the top rope! Dima: This EMT is not that great! Dan: He's doing great right now! EMT with a kick to the midsection! He goes to the ropes! EMT with a dropkick to the groin!! I think he missed his intented target! Mista Smith is rolling in pain! EMT going over to see if Smith is ok. EMT is helping Smith up! OH NO! Mista Smith just floored EMT with a lariat! Smith was faking injury! Dima: This Mista Smith is pretty smart, but not as smart as the brilliant DIMA! Dan: Smith is laughing at EMT! He bounces off the ropes and nails EMT with a delayed fistdrop! Mista Smith bouncing to the ropes again, and OH NO! He bumped into referee Ramon De La Cerveza!! De La Cerveza just got run over! Smith picking up EMT! OH NO!! Mista Smith nailing EMT with repeated low blows! EMT is writhing in incredible pain! He rolls out of the ring to the floor and Smith stands alone in the ring! Dima: EMT has no tolerance for pain! Dan: EMT continuing to roll around on the outside in pain, and OH NO! "Fury" Frank Crow just jumped over the guard rail! He's helping EMT to his feet! He's seeing if he's alright! OH NO! Crow with a boot to the midsection! DDT by Frank Crow! Right on the concrete! This is absolutely insane! Mista Smith with a big smile on his face! There's another devastating DDT by Crow! Smith waiting very patiently. How much more abuse can EMT withstand?!! There's a third DDT from Frank Crow! Referee Ramon De La Cerveza slowly getting to his feet. He hasn't seen what's going on yet! Crow now with yet another DDT on EMT! De La Cerveza is getting up on his knees now as Frank Crow rolls the lifeless EMT in the ring! Dima: Russian Roulette could destroy both of these men! Dan: Mista Smith peeling EMT up off the mat! Crow is still lurking at ringside! Referee Ramon De La Cerveza is back in the match! Smith setting up EMT! BOO-YAA!! He snuffs him with the Dream Killer!! There's the cover! ONE.......TWO........THREE!!! What injustice! Andy: The winner of this contest at a time of 15 minutes and 34 seconds, MISTA SMITH!!! Dan: Smith is victorious, but EMT was cheated out of a fair contest! Dima: HAH! That's the way the ball bounces! Dan: Frank Crow is in the ring, standing over EMT! Here come some paramedics! EMT is holding his nose! He may be bleeding from there! Frank Crow has the microphone! "Fury" Frank Crow: Well, Well, Well, So this is the big AICW. You got that piece of $#!T! A couple of more @$$holes and you call this talent. Well, now you have talent. Frank Crow is in the ring now. EMT, We had something started in a "Awesome" federation if you know what i mean. You have cost me a lot of things. Now I am gonna cost you your life. God knows you cost me mine. I am here to get one thing straight. I am the wrestling sensation that everyone loves. EMT, You are as close to a title as you will ever be in this federation! Dan: WHOA! Frank Crow has just shocked everyone! I think that he's gonna be hearing from a few AICW lawyers about attacking EMT! EMT is being helped out of the ring. He's hurt bad. Dima: Because he is a weak American! In Russia my parachute failed to open and I plummeted from nearly 5 miles high! I landed right on my feet! Dan: Sure. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take you to "The Mighty CC" Cesar Colon who is standing by with Argie Otero! Cesar: Thank you so much Dan! I'm here with the LOVELY AICW Commissioner Argie Otero. Tell us Argie what other contests have you signed for AICW: No Gimmicks Needed? Argie Otero: Well, AICW International Champion "8 Ball" Vic Garibaldi will defend the belt against Legion. In addition to that, AICW Television Champion "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott will take on Mark McMahon. AICW World Tag Team Champions The Perfectly Perfect Duo will defend against Money and Power. The Extreme Beings will take on The Nubian Warriors. Gino "Knuckles" Valentini will team up with "The Convict" Oswald Bates to meet "Ravishing" Ray Richards and "The UItimate Male" Chris Del Rio. And the Saint will face Reverend Sin. Cesar: WOW!!! And what is the cost of this Pay-Per-View? Argie: As always, $14.95. Cesar: WOW! Order it! Back to you Dan! Dan: What a card that's gonna be! Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the first ever "Pretty City"!! Dan: What a card that's gonna be! ...and folks we've got much more in store for you on MONDAY NIGHT WAR, but first...we've got the debut of "Pretty City", a talk show hosted by "the showstopper himself" let's take it away... Pretty Boy: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...welcome to the debut of the hit new talk show..."PRETTY CITY"! (the crowds reaction is scattered with boos, and cheers). Well ladies and gentlemen, there are a few topic I would like to speak on before I introduce my first ever guess on the critically acclaimed "Pretty City"! First of all, a brief description of "The Pretty City Show"! We will not have guests such as Monica Lewinski on the show...nor will Latrell Sprewell be welcomed...you will not see "Rowdy" Roddy Piper on this show, nor will Dennis Rodman be here, the only guests that will be on this show will be the top superstars of The AICW, and members of the AICW family as well as anyone else I want on it...basically, just no weirdos, nymphomaniacs, pyromaniacs, or coconut-maniacs...(pauses for a bit as he checks himself out in the mirror) Pretty Boy: So now...without further ado...my guest for tonight! This man has gotta be the greatest wrestler in the AICW today! He is a champion and an excellent role-model. (He takes off his sunglasses and looks directly into the camera) This man has been my best friend for quite sometime and I really look at him as a great athlete, friend, as well as confidant. So ladies and gentlemen without further ado...here is my mystery guest...(he points towards the locker room and the curtain shuffles. Two men bring out a huge human size box with a sheet over it and place it vertically on the ground facing the crowd. Troy has his back to the crowd. He knocks on the box, and says "Are you in there special guest?") Pretty Boy: Well, cameraman, get a close up of the first ever guest on The Pretty City Show. (the cameraman zooms in, and as Troy pulls the sheet from the box, there is a huge hollow rectangular mirror. His music begins to play and he introduces himself) Pretty Boy: Ladies and gentlemen...my best friend in the whole wide world...and the greatest AICW champion of all times, the AICW Television Champion, the showstopper, the main event...I give you, "The Pretty Boy"...TRRROOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WAAAAALLCCOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!! (the crowd answers with a chorus of boos). Mr. Walcott, thank you for being my special guest today on the debut of "Pretty City". Myself, and the AICW Executive Committee really appreciate the fact that you could take time out of your extremely bust schedule to join us today. <-----(overheard at the broadcast booth)-----> Dan: What is this...come on...himself as a guest. Dima: I hope The AICW Executive Committee punishes this fool. They granted this man precious wrestling time, and he pulls this stunt. I want action, not this...mockary! (back to the show) Walcott: (speaking for himself) Well Pretty Boy, thank you for having me on your show today. it is an honor, and a priviledge to be a guest on the debut of "The Pretty City Show"! Pretty Boy: Well Mr Walcott. I've gotta few questions to ask you. And I am gonna be as hard on you as a hammer on nails. What do you have to say about the global economy? Dima: Stupid Americans! Always talking to themselves! Dan: This is absolutely pitiful. How can the man interview himself?) Walcott: It's alright I guess... Pretty Boy: I see...well another issue that I've been meaning to ask you was, what do you think about about President Clinton's tax reform proposal concerning the external oxipital pertuberance? Walcott: Well, P.B....if I may call you that? Pretty Boy: Why certainly... Jim Ross: Give me a break! Walcott: PB..I think that it is alright I guess... Pretty Boy: ASTONISHING. Well there you heard it folks...a word from the wise. Well on a more serious note. Why did you and your new tag team Entrepeneurs, Inc. double-cross the PPD on Saturday Night Heat? Did you, or did you not say that you were gonna beg The Perfectly Perfect Duo to join your stable? Walcott: No I did not...if you review the tapes, you will notice that I said, after I beg the PPD, the most powerful tag team will be in my stable. I begged them to get out of my sight because they are disgraceful. The fact of the matter is, Brian and I outsmarted em, and that's why they're now a bunch of crybaby fan-favorites. They are no where close to being the most powerful tag team in the AICW. Soon The Enterprise's new tag team: Entrepeneurs Incorporated will bring home the gold...then there's gonna be a whole lotta partying goin on! Pretty Boy: A brilliantly devised scheme. Also congratulations on your victory over Stephon T. Davis to become the AICW Television Champ. Walcott: Thank you...you're too kind (The crowd begins to chant "Brady, Brady"..."Brady, Brady". However thinking that they are chanting "Pretty, Pretty!", Pretty Boy continues flexing in the giant mirrors and talking to himself.) Pretty Boy: Thank you...you're all too kind, you're far too kind. Dan: Wait a minute...there's "Hard-Line" Byron Brady with Kelly Lynn...Walcott does not see, him. Business is damn sure about to pick up! Pretty Boy: Thank you...I love you all (flexing and jumping around in the mirror until he sees Byron Brady behind him through the reflection. Brady is wearing some blue jeans and a Boss T-shirt with the AICW World Title around his waste. Kelly Lynn is wearing a beautiful satin evening gown. Brady grabs his shoulder and turns him around, startled, Walcott hands him the mic as he begins to speak) Hard-Line: (furiously) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! Troy...I keep tellin you! All this bull$#!T! All these mirrors! This is not you. this is not the Troy I used to know...this is all fake! You know it and I know it! Kelly: (whispering) Byron, calm down, don't hurt your friend...it's not his fault. Pretty Boy: Not my fault! Ya damn right! BRADY YOU CREATED ME...NOW YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT! (Brady grabs him with both hands by the collar and the crowd begins to scream. Executive takes a step forward as if warning Brady to back off, but Troy calls him off). Brady: (releasing him) Troy...what has happened to you. Look at the way your dressed, the way you act...this goon, the Executive...this is not you at all! And you know something, i've sit back and watched all this propaganda too long. I've sat and watched you parade around the federation with this phoney gimmick! Ever since you came into the AICW, I've been tryin to get in touch with you, but you didn't return my calls... Pretty Boy: (fixing his vest, and slightly interrupting)...and why the hell should I? (pacing around) Gimme one good reason why I should've returned your goddamn stinkin phone calls. You didn't give a rat's @$$ about me when you went to college! Ever since you met this tramp! (Brady grabs Walcott again and looks him straight into the eyes). Pretty Boy: Hey...get your damn hands offa me. I ain't your little $#!t pigeon anymore...chum. (raising his voice). What are you deaf and dumb? Did you not hear me say get your damn hands offa me! (a man's voice comes over the pa and interrupts) Man: I heard you say it P.B.T., and if I were Hard-Line Byron Brady,i'd listen before me or Executive has to stomp a mudhole in him! ("The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio and Blake Studwell make their wayout of the dressing room) Del Rio: You heard the man...BRADY...let him go. Brady: You...you're one of the reasons troy is acting like this. I know all about you Del Rio. You were nothing but a middle-carder in USCW,and nothing hasn't changed a bit. You're jealous... Del Rio: (interrupting)..Oh I am jealous? ME. No Byron Brady. C-Licious is not jealous, it is Byron Brady that is jealous! Just admit it! Ever since Troy made his debut in the AICW, you've envied him (Troy has his head down asif he is sad. Chris is slowly approaching Byron). Del Rio: You're jealous because, he gets all the attention, he gets all the spotlight, and because he gets all the ladies. Jealous because it was his creative idea to form "The Enterprise", and probably jealous because he didn't ask you to join. And this show, which is proof positive that the AICW promotoers knows he's a hit, was the straw that broke the camels back, wasn't Byron? Brady: Let me tell you something...(he is cut off again as he and Del Rio are now eye to eye) Del Rio: ...No let me tell you something! This ain't 1981 anymore Brady. Troy ain't in elementary school no more. He's gotta life now, and he doesn't need you anymore. he's gotta new life, because you ruined him. Brady: I am not jealous of Troy Walcott. That is a bold-faced lie. Typical or someone like....(cut off again) Del Rio: ...Please spare me with your bull$#!t. (suddenly striking upon a brilliant idea)...Well if you're not jealous...why don't you put that title on the line against him? Why don't you fight him? Because you're scared...becasue you know that he'll beat you with his pateneted PrettyPlex right in the middle of the ring! Brady: I will under no circumstances fight Troy Walcott. (turning towards Troy). Troy...deep down, I truly believe I can find you again. The sweet and lovable Troy I used to know...not "Pretty Boy" Troy. Somehow, someway, i'm gonna do it...but not by violence, and (cut off again by Del Rio) Del Rio: ...(interrupting again) You are scared just admit it! (Brady takes off his shirt and walks right up inot his face). Brady: Hey...Del Rio...I won't fight Troy...but I will be more than happy to kick your ass from here to kingdom come! Do you wanna piece of this Del Rio (flexing his muscles)? DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME DEL RIO? Del Rio: No but I wouldn't mind a piece of Kelly Lynn! (He blows a kiss to her and Hard-Line levels him with a right hand. Chris comes backwith a right hand of his own and barely cathces him as they engage in a shoving match and are rolling all over the set, security and officials come and separate them.) Dan: Unbelievable! Del Rio and Brady going at it. That just goes to show, that anything can happen here in the AICW! Well fans...we gotta go to a brief commercial break, but when we get back...more awesome AICW action to come!