AICW Saturday Night Heat
March 21, 1998
Budokan Hall, Tokyo, Japan

<The camera shows footage of AICW Commissioner Argie Otero shaking hands
with Antonio Inoki at a press conference.  Both continue to shake hands
as the cameras click away.  Inoki bows and Argie, with a confused look
on her face, bows a few seconds later.  Dan does a voice over.>

Dan (Voice over): Over the next week and a half, the AICW will call the
land of the rising sun it's home!  On Sunday, the first ever Inoki Cup
champion will be crowned!  But that's not all, as AICW
Commissioner Argie Otero will make an unprecedented announcement that
will effect the AICW Tokyo Thunder Festival, those of you who have
already ordered the Pay-Per-View, and the AICW superstars!  Stay tuned,
because you don't wanna miss the announcement that is gonna turn the
wrestling world upside-down!!!!

<The camera cuts away from the press conference and shows a table with a
green cloth on it.  On the cloth sit two shiny, gold belts.>

Dan (Voice over): Tonight, the AICW will crown it's first ever AICW
North American Tag Team champions!  Will it be the hometown favorites?
<Footage of the Asian Assassination Squad celebrating a victory.>  Will
it be the fun-loving combo of Gangstas and Prankstas? <Footage of
Gangstas and Prankstas nailing Entrepeneurs Inc. with pies>  Will the
Demonweb add more gold to their stable?  <Footage of Danny Moore
executing a superplex to the outside> Or will it be Lord Awesome's tough
new tandem? <Footage of Lord Awesome and the Road Killers raising their
arms>  We'll find out tonight on the HOTTEST Saturday Night HEAT we've
ever had!!!

<Camera cuts away to the live crowd.  The Japanese crowd is much
different than the American crowd.  Gone are the signs and screaming.
The fans look bored to the average American viewer, but these fans are
very hot for the action, patiently awaiting the competition.  The camera
scans the ringside area, and several fans cheer and wave.  Some give the
peace sign to the camera.  We get a view of Dan "The Man" Chan, AICW
Commissioner Argie Otero, and Dima "The Russian Powerhouse" Lerminskiy
sitting at the broadcast table.>

Dan: Welcome everyone to Saturday Night Heat!  We're live at the Budokan
Hall!  I'm Dan "The Man" Chan, and with me tonight are Dima "The Russian
Powerhouse" Lerminskiy, and the AICW Commissioner Argie Otero!  It's
great to be here in Japan!  In just a few moments we're gonna see a
ceremonial blessing by Japan's "Yokozuna," Akebono!  What is this?!!

(The lights go out...normal screams from the crowd can be heard, until
finally "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael begins to blare over the
sound system. A huge blue spotlight shoots down to the beginning of the
aisle, right on "The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio. Del Rio walks slowly
down to the ring, with both hands in the air, and his head up high.
Finally, he jumps in the ring and grabs a mic from underneath his robe.)

Del Rio: Cut the music, and turn on the lights...so all these little
Asian sweethearts can get a good...long look, at what they have been
fantasizing about for all their pathetic lives.

(The lights come back on and you can see that Del Rio is wearing a Icey
Blue robe that says "Cold Days Ahead" on the back.)

Del Rio: Now since all you morons out in the crowd can't understand a
word I'm saying...I'm not gonna even bother telling you how worthless
"The Ultimate Male" thinks all you are! Instead I'm gonna address this
straight to the suites of the AICW, the wrestlers of the AICW, and
especially to a man that goes by the name...Ice Cold!

(Right on cue, a huge sign bellows down from the rafters that reads "Ice
Cold vs. Chris Del Rio...who really is the coldest!)

Del Rio: This match has to be a marketing dream...you got the coldest
wrestler in all the AICW...me, versus a man that goes by the name Ice
Cold! I can see it now, all over the papers and the  news..."The
Ultimate Male" finally ends his string of bad luck against the only man
colder than him! Ice Cold, Argie...sign the dotted line and make it
happen. Argie...imagine all the press the AICW would get from this
extravenganza, it would be the biggest event in AICW HISTORY!!!

(The crowd begins to boo, as they like most everyone else is getting
sick of Del Rio going on and on over some midcard match.)

Del Rio: For everyone out there in TV land who can't understand the
fans...they are screaming "Take it off!" to C-Lish! But that will have
to wait until later tonight for a very lucky Asian flower that is worthy
enough to be blessed by my presence! Now Ice Cold isn't the only AICW
superstar that I want to address, just the worst! After I get back on
the winning track by disposing of him "Quickly"...I'm gonna go through
each and every retard in the AICW until I get the respect that I
deserve! I don't care who you are, "The Ultimate Male" will accept your
challenge! Consider yourselves blessed, by the only man who can make Ice
Cold, into a main eventer..."The Ultimate Male"!!!!

("I Want Your Sex" comes back on as "The Ultimate Male" steps through
the ropes and leaves the ring.)

Dan: I can't believe the disrespect shown by Chris Del Rio!

Argie: You know, just for that, he's not going to get his match against
Ice Cold at the  Pay-Per-View!  He'll have to wait!  Remember, Tom
Corson also wants a piece of Ice Cold, but Corson is involved in the
Inoki Cup Tournament!

Dan: Well, let's go to the ring!  Akebono's making his way down the
aisle!

Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, AKEBONO!!!

Dan: Here he comes!  Akebono is Japan's Grand Champion, or "Yokozuna" of
Sumo Wrestling!!!  This man is a behemoth!  Larger than life itself!

Dima: This man is a national hero!  Much like Dima...

Argie: What a wonderful way to open this grand tour!

Dan: Akebono stepping through the ropes!  He'll perform a ceremony to
bless the ring, and drive away the evil spirits!  Perhaps symbolic of
this whole tour!  The Saint trying to restore good to the AICW World
Championship, currently held by "The Demon" Kyle Bane!  Akebono throwing
the salt in the air, purifying the ring.

Dima: In Russia, we bleach the ring to purify it!

Argie: What a festive way to begin!

Dan: Akebono now symbolically stomping the demons out of the ring!

Argie: As The Saint will try to stomp the belt out of "The Demon" live
on Pay-Per-View!

Dan: What a card The Tokyo Thunder Festival will be!

Argie: Don't forget my blockbuster announcement later!

Dan: That's right!  Don't forget that tonight we'll see three tag
matches!  Two semifinal contests!  One pitting The Asian Assassination
Squad against The Pain Connection!  We'll see that one momentarily, and
the other between Gangstas and Prankstas and The Road Killers!  It's
sure to be one intense tournament, and a testament to the level of tag
team competition in the AICW!

Argie: I don't think it's ever been hotter than this!

Dan: Don't forget that "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott will defend the AICW
Television Title against the number one contender, The Great Salami!

Argie: That's gonna be a classic battle, if I do say so myself!

Dima: It will be a classic battle only if RUSSIAN ROULETTE WAS ON THE
PAY-PER-VIEW!!!  He is an international legend!

Argie: Well, ratings reach a low point when he's on television, Dima.

Dima: YOU LIE!!  He is the most popular wrestler in the world today, and
a heartthrob to all the Russian women in the world!

Dan: Well, what about our main event tonight!  Some important
developments in this match, as The Saint will be taking on both AICW
World Champion "The Demon" Kyle Bane and Legion in a HANDICAP MATCH!!!

Argie: What an unprecedented contest that will be!

Dima: It will be a slaughter!  And Argie, say good bye to your "main
event!" You have only one choice, and that is to place RUSSIAN ROULETTE
in a match with Kyle Bane at this "Tokyo Thunder Festival!"

Argie: No thanks, Dima.  But what a ceremony this is!

Dan: Akebono receiving a warm ovation from his people here tonight as he
departs from the ring!  Wait a minute!  What is this?  The Perfectly
Perfect Duo and Sensuous Samantha have taken a front row seat here!
They must be here to watch the action! Fans we're about ready for
action, and our first contest will be a North American Tag Team Title
Tournament match! The Asian Assassination Squad taking on The Pain
Connection!  Let's go to Andy Burton!

Andy: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall!  Introducing
first...

<"After The Flesh" by My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult blares out over
the sound system.>

Andy: ...led to the ring by Christina O, weighing in at a total combined
weight of 490 pounds, "Sadistic" Steven Dunne, "The Masochist" Danny
Moore, THE PAIN CONNECTION!

Dan: Here comes Danny Moore, full-speed ahead!  It took him all of two
seconds to get to the ring!!  Some of the fans here may remember Danny
from years ago!  He used to wrestle here early in his career!  Now he's
doing somersaults around the ring!  This guy needs to lay off the
Mountain Dew!

Dima: In Russia, men who drink to much of this "Mountain Dew" are sent
to de-tox for six weeks!

Argie: Danny Moore is an electrifying athelete!

Dan: Here comes Steven Dunne and Christina O!  Christina very scantilly
clad for tonight!

Argie: ..Oh no...

Dan: "The Demon" Kyle Bane and Mr. Y are following The Pain Connection!
They're not supposed to be here!!  What do they think they're doing?!
Mr. Y seems to be guarding the aisle!  Maybe he
should do that AFTER The Asian Assassination Squad come down to
ringside!

Dima: They will run him over!

Argie: I cannot believe this!

Dan: Kyle Bane has a piece of paper in his hand, and he's coming this
way!!

Argie: I'll take care of this!

Dan: Argie Otero has just gotten up, apparently to send Kyle Bane and
Mr. Y back to the dressing room!  Bane has a microphone!

Kyle Bane: Argie............remember what happened last week?  The
three-on-one beatdown on The Spartan?  Do you think I want that evil
Nicky De Niro to harm any of MY boys?  And I hope you're seriously not
thinking of endangering my client's safety....affadavit?  <offers it to
Argie with a smile.>

Dan: OH MY!  Kyle Bane has just served...WAIT!!  There's Nicky De Niro!
He's on the video screen!

Nicky De Niro: Hold it right there!  You knew a long time ago that Nicky
De Niro would be in the corner of The Asian Assassination Squad! I am
their licensed manager, and I will be walking that aisle momentarily!
Argie, if you even think about giving in to this guy, I will SUE you
Bane!!!  Argie, we had a "deal!"

Argie: Just you two hold up!  Ok, De Niro.  You wanna be at ringside,
then I'm gonna let Kyle Bane stay as well!  So, if you have a problem,
why don't you take it up with each other personally!!

Dan: OH MY!!  Argie Otero laying down the law!  She's coming back to the
table here!  Good work, Commissioner!!

Argie: It was my pleasure!  Let's see those two try pull stunts now!  I
am not about to let the wrestlers ruin this trip!

Dima: DIMA will lay down the law!

Andy: And their opponents...

<"Kokoro" by Kitaro blasts over the sound system>

Andy: Led to the ring by Nicky De Niro, at a total combined weight of
465 pounds, Blackjack Takahashi and Thripaq Nguyen, THE ASIAN
ASSASSINATION SQUAD!!!

Dan: Here come the hometown favorites!  Everybody is getting on their
feet! I'm not used to seeing this!  Nicky De Niro leading the way,
followed by Thripaq Nguyen!  Blackjack Takahashi bringing up the rear,
and he's carrying the Japanese flag!  Listen to these people!  Mr. Y
still standing in the middle of the aisle, and he's facing the ring!  I
don't think he realizes...OH MY!  He just turned around and looked right
at Nicky De Niro!! Mr. Y hops over the guardrail!  He's begging
for mercy as De Niro and The Asian Assassination Squad continue to the
ring!

Dima: This Mr. Y is weak!

Dan: They're circling the ring, and De Niro pointing at Sensuous
Samantha!  Thripaq blows her a kiss!  Blackjack raising his arms in the
air, and he's receiving quite a reaction!  The Asian Assassination Squad
stepping in the ring, and Thripaq going up on the buckle!  <Thripaq
holds out three fingers and does a groin chop>  What was that?  A
Thri-chop?

Dima: That is nothing compared to the DIMA-chop!

Argie: If you don't stop making those comments, Dima, I'm gonna
Argie-chop you off my payroll!

Dima: Fine.

Dan: It looks as though Danny Moore will be facing off against Thripaq
Nguyen!  This should be an excellent match-up!

Argie: Both men very skilled!

<DING DING DING>

Dan: We are underway, and they're ready to go!  Danny Moore charging at
Nguyen, but he moves out of the way!  Thripaq blowing another kiss to
Samantha, and Danny's just been set off!  OH MY!  Nguyen with a chop to
the throat, and a rake of the eyes!  Roundhouse kick to the back of the
head by Thripaq!!  He's a master of martial arts!  Danny's gonna have to
wrestle him or this'll be over real quick!  Standing dropkick by Nguyen
sends Moore to the outside of the ring!  Thripaq
gets the early advantage, and he's celebrating already!

Dima: Another "Thri-chop?"

Dan: It certainly is!  The Pain Connection are re-grouping on the
outside!  We've got to take a break fans, but we'll be right back!!

Argie: Stay with us!