Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the AICW Television Championship!!! Introducing first, the challenger! Led to the ring by Cyn, from Sicily, weighing 271 pounds, "THE CONVICT" OSWALD BATES! Dan: Ozzy Bates looking very confident for this matchup! He's letting the fans know that he wants the gold around his waist! Lord Awesome: I wouldn't be surprised at all to see "The Convict" bring some more gold to the Firm right here tonight! Andy: And his opponent, led to the ring by "Elegant" Johnny Edwards, from "Pretty City", Connecticut, weighing 247 pounds, the AICW TELEVISION CHAMPION, "PRETTY BOY" TROY WALCOTT!!! Dan: Troy Walcott with a very arrogant grin on his face! He's had his nose in the air ever since winning that belt! Lord Awesome: There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence. PBT's gotta watch out, or he'll cross that line and trip himself up. You gotta give 'im credit, though--he IS the Television Champion! Dan: Walcott is the fourth man to hold the AICW Television Title. He's got the competition lining up to face him! Dan: Here we go! The bell has rung, and Johnny Edwards is standing on the ring apron yelling at Ozzy Bates! Ozzy getting in Johnny's face and OH NO! Walcott just clipped Bates's knee from behind!! Ozzy goes down and Walcott kicks him repeatedly in the midsection! Referee Peter Kaplan not too happy about the sneak attack as Walcott nails Bates with a series of nasty stomps to the back! Lord Awesome: Walcott takes his opportunities where he sees them! Dan: Walcott ignoring referee Kaplan's admonishment as he grabs Ozzy by the legs. Walcott with a Boston crab! The champ is doing very well for himself at this point! Bates is in trouble! Lord Awesome: Troy Walcott's definitely looking like a champ right about now, but parlaying an early advantage into a win isn't as easy as you might think! Dan: WHOA! Ozzy just pushed out of it! What power! Walcott went flying and Bates is back to his feet! He's looking very angry as Walcott begs off! Ozzy plants a boot right to the chest and he grabs Walcott by the hair! Walcott screaming for a disqualification, but Bates with a hard headbutt! Lord Awesome: Obviously, he learned that move in the slammer! Dan: Walcott stunned, and Ozzy grabs him and plants him with a double-underhook DDT!! There's a cover! ONE..........TWO.........NO! Walcott able to kick out! Walcott is a very resilient competitor! Bates whips him to the corner, reversal by Walcott! Walcott follows it in with a clothesline! Ozzy is dazed, and Walcott sets him up on the top turnbuckle! Walcott climbs the ropes as well. He goes for a huracanrana, but Bates holds on and Walcott hits the mat hard! That's the price you pay for high risk moves! Lord Awesome: Walcott's just a little too big to be wrestling that lucha style... Dan: Bates jumping down from the ropes and he scoops up Walcott. Bates with a tombstone piledriver!! Another cover by Ozzy! ONE.........TWO....NO! Again only a two! Ozzy is hungry! He picks up Walcott again and now he sets him up on the turnbuckle! Bates follows him up and BOO-YAA!! Ozzy with a superplex! ONE............ TWO......NO! So close! We might see a new AICW Television Champion tonight! Bates whips Walcott to the ropes, but a reversal! Walcott catches Bates and nails him with a spinebuster!! Both men down! Lord Awesome: This is gonna be a close one, I'll tell ya that! Dan: Referee Peter Kaplan laying on the count! Walcott is getting to his feet first! There's the five count! Ozzy is on his hands and knees! Walcott standing up and he brings Bates to his feet as well and plants a dropkick right in the kisser! Lord Awesome: Very well executed! Reminds me of my glory days... Dan: Walcott is in control, but still looking tired! He picks up Ozzy and whips him to the ropes! Bates comes back and Walcott with a scoop and a powerslam! Nice move! Walcott to his feet and he goes to the outside! He's mounting the ropes! BOO-YAA!! Elbow drop off the top rope! ONE...TWO....THRE.. NO! Referee Peter Kaplan says it was only a two-count! That was awfully close! Walcott not complaining and he brings Ozzy to his feet! Butterfly suplex by Walcott! Well executed! Walcott slings Bates to the ropes and he catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!! Walcott covers him! ONE.........TWO...... NO!! I thought Walcott had him! Lord Awesome: Gino's got a lotta fight in 'im. You can take a man out of jail, but you can't take the jail out of the man! Dan: Walcott picks him up. Kick to the midsection caught by Ozzy! OH MY! Walcott went for the enzuigiri, but Bates was too quick and he ducked! Walcott hits the mat hard! Ozzy now with another opportunity to take control of this match! Bates peeling Walcott off the mat! BOO-YAA! Tiger bomb by Ozzy into a pinfall position! ONE..........TWO..... THR..NO! Bates almost won the belt that time! Lord Awesome: Walcott's trying to beat the pugilist with finesse, but he's getting too cocky, and it's costing him! Dan: Ozzy whips him to the ropes! Walcott ducks under a wild clothesline! Spinning heel kick by Walcott takes Bates down!! Ozzy never saw it coming! Walcott has a big, arrogant smile on his face! "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott: (To the crowd) NOW THAT WAS PRETTY!!! Dan: Walcott continuing to showboat! He should be going for the pin! Lord Awesome: That right there could be his downfall. This guy needs some lessons in keeping his ego in check... Dan: Walcott finally turning his attention back to the match. Bates is on his feet! Walcott sets him up for a piledriver! OH MY! Ozzy with a backdrop! This has been a see-saw matchup since it started! Walcott getting back to his feet! Ozzy catches him! Chokeslam by Bates!!! It's over! ONE....TWO........ NO!! It's not over! Ozzy can't believe it! I thought he had him! Bates peeling Walcott off the mat! He sends him to the ropes, reversal by Walcott! Ozzy back and BOO-YAA!! Walcott surprised him with a belly-to-belly suplex! Lord Awesome: It's never over till it's over--and even then, you've gotta keep your eyes open! Dan: Wait a minute! Here comes Gino "Knuckles" Valentini! Gino coming down to ringside, and I think he's here to help his fellow Firm member, Oswald Bates! Lord Awesome: They're family, they watch out for each other! Dan: Gino on the apron! Paul Kaplan admonishing Gino Valentini! Pretty Boy Troy mouthing off to Valentini and OZZY WITH THE ROLLUP FROM BEHIND! ONE...............TWO................. THREE! NO! SO CLOSE! Ozzy was seconds from becoming the new AICW Television Champion! Lord Awesome: Again, a stupid mistake on PBT's part! He needs to focus more! Dan: Gino down from the apron and now he's going over and getting a chair. Elegant Johnny Edwards now complaining to the official about Gino's presence at ringside. Gino signaling to Bates to Irish whip Troy Walcott into him. Bates picking up Walcott and an Irish Whip and NO!!!!! Troy reverses it and BOO-YA!!!!! GINO NAILED OZZY BATES! Gino is furious! Lord Awesome: That is NOT what I would call good teamwork! Dan: Walcott picks up Bates! Inverted atomic drop! Walcott sets him up! There it is! The Pretty Plex! ONE.........TWO......... THREE!!! Walcott successfully defends his title! Andy: The winner of this match at a time of 13 minutes and 34 seconds and STILL AICW Television Champion, "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott!!! Dan: Impressive first defense for Troy Walcott! Lord Awesome: Hey, Walcott didn't prove himself yet! The main reason he won is because of Gino and Ozzy getting their signals crossed! And speaking of which... Dan: Ozzy Bates is coming to his feet now. He is pissed! Ozzy and Gino now in the ring and they are nose to nose! I think they are going to settle it right here and right now! Lord Awesome: This could be the end of the Firm right here! Where's Vic when ya need 'im? Dan: What is this?!! That's The Eccentric Offender!! He just came from under the ring! What is he doing?! He's got a chair! It's got "My Love" spray-painted on it! Lord Awesome: Now we've got people in love with inanimate objects, huh? Dan: OH NO!!! He just whacked Bates in the back of the head with the chair! Ozzy is out cold, and The Eccentric Offender has escaped through the crowd! Lord Awesome: This just ain't been Ozzy's night, has it? Dan: And Gino saw the Offender coming and he didn't say a word to Ozzy. Gino now walking out of the ring leaving Ozzy! And I think there are some serious problems in The Firm! Lord Awesome: They'll work it out...the Firm is a family, and family sticks together no matter what! Dan: That all remains to be seen! Certainly the next few weeks will be rather interesting, to say the least! But right now, we've got still more action coming your way! In fact, Andy Burton is standing by now with the introductions for our next match! Andy: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... (Metallica's "Master of Puppets" starts up as the fans jeer.) Andy: ...weighing 245 lbs., Mr. Y!! Dan: And here comes the irksome one! Lord Awesome: I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that this guy's gonna lose. Andy: And his opponent--from Moscow, Russia--weighing 310 pounds, Slava Humphranov!! Dan: Slava Humphranov a very big man, probably a former Russian weightlifter... Lord Awesome: Bulk don't mean squat when you're in between those four corners! If you don't have the mobility to get around in that ring, you're gonna be suckin' wind and countin' lights! Dan: Slava posing for the fans here now! Lord Awesome: This is sickening! What is this, the male review or somethin'? Dan: Mr. Y now attempting to pose! (tries to contain laughter) Lord Awesome: Now, that's not the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. But it's right up there. Dan: Mr. Y turns to the crowd, and he's shrieking something...I can't quite make it out...now he's walking up to this big Russian powerhouse, and...OH! He just slapped him! Slava's not taking it too well! He just EFFORTLESSLY tossed him with ONE hand!!! What power by this man! Lord Awesome: Hey, with somebody like Mr. Y, ANYBODY could toss him around with one hand! Hell, even a pencil-necked simp like you could probably toss him around! Dan: Now Slava with a suplex, and he's holding Mr. Y up there! Mr. Y is squirming like an earthworm! BOO-YA! What impact! Lord Awesome: Power isn't everything, you know! Even Mr. Y could pull off an upset victory if he had the right strategy here! Dan: Slava whips Mr. Y into the ropes, and a BIG clothesline! Now he's posing for the fans! Lord Awesome: Again?! Dan: Whoa, wait a minute! Somebody just came through the crowd! He's dressed in a Soviet hammer-and-sickle T-shirt!!! Look at that fierce-looking big man! He's gotta be Russian! Lord Awesome: What was your first clue, Dan? Dan: He just jumped into the ring, and now he's coming up behind Slava! He turns him around, and a boot to the gut! BOO-YA! He just nailed him with a...a Diamond Cutter, a Stunner, whatever you wanna call it! Now he's flipping the big man off! The referee's ringing the bell! It's over! But wait a minute, Mr. Y is celebrating as if he won! Lord Awesome: He's just happy to have escaped this one without takin' a pounding! Dan: Now Mr. Y's going over to shake this big Russian's hand! The Russian takes his hand, but OH! Boot to the midsection and STUNNER! Now he's flipping Mr. Y off! What's this? Here comes DIMA LERMINSKIY! I should've guessed! DIMA's behind it all!!! Dima: (taking the microphone) FINALLY the AICW has a REAL athlete! FINALLY you play the game the RUSSIAN way! American capitalist dogs, I now introduce you: RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!! Russian Roulette: (in heavy Russian accent) Dat is right, comrade! I come here to AICW to make motherland proud! I come here, comrade, because each and every one of you Americans are weak! I come here to show you what a TRUE man is all about! I am STRONG! I am RUSSIAN! And if you want to play a little "Russian Roulette," comrades (motions indicating a stunner) ...you had better be ready to lose the deadly game! And that is bottom line, because Mother Russia say so! (The Russian National Anthem begins to blast throughout the house as Dima and Russian Roulette exit the ring) Dan: Russian Roulette? The AICW definitely may have some problems on our hands right now! Lord Awesome: Bank on it! That's two Russians too many! Damn commies! Dan: Hey! The cold war's been over for years, we don't need any of that talk around he... Lord Awesome: Shut yer hole, Dan! The commie pinkos are still out there and they're still a threat! I know what I'm talkin' about! Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, up next we'll have our MAIN EVENT, but first we have to take a commercial break... Lord Awesome: On that note, if you'll excuse me, Dan...I've got business to attend to... Dan: What? What do you mean, business? Lord Awesome: (standing to leave) You know...people to talk to...things to work out...ink to dry... Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, Lord Awesome is leaving our broadcast position, but I'll be back right after this!