Dan: Next up, we have the long awaited debut of THE KNICK MAN! What are your feelings towards The Knick Man, Slam? DJ Slam: Yo, THE KNICK MAN is PHAT! My man won like 10 NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS! He's REPRESENTIN to the FULLEST! Dan: Let's go to Andy! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring to my left, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 220 pounds, here is MICHAEL PIPPEN! Dan: Interesting choice of an opponent for The Knick Man. Andy: And his opponent..... (A loud roar emerges from the crowd as "Go NY Go NY Go" blastes throughout the loudspeakers) Andy: Making his AICW singles debut, from New York City, weighing 250 pounds, the One, The Only, THE KNICK MAN! Dan: And here comes The Knick Man! Wow! Look at that impressive figure he's sporting. It's obvious that The Knick Man has been hitting the gym. DJ Slam: Of course! He's a BLACK MAN FOOL! Dan: The Knick Man climbing into the ring and raising his hands in the air to the delight of the crowd. A loud "Knick Man" chant has started. These fans are absolutely behind him 100 percent. DJ Slam: Yeah, but as soon as he loses, these WHITE PEOPLE will turn on him in a matter of SECONDS! Never trust THE WHITE MAN Dan! Dan: Michael Pippen charging towards The Knick Man, but he spots him coming in and he takes him down with a sidestep trip. Pippen falls down and The Knick Man in control thus far. DJ Slam: No diggidy baby! The Knick Man is a strong Black Man. You know he's representing! Dan: Pippen back to his feet and he charges The Knick Man again. And The Knick Man nailing him with a beautifully executed drop kick! Pippen falls back and The Knick Man back on his feet. The Knick Man picking him up off the mat. He lifts him up and NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX by The Knick Man. The Knick Man with the cover.............one.............two...........and Pippen barely kicks out! DJ Slam: That's a BLACK MAN in there Dan! A BLACK MAN! Dan: The Knick Man with an Irish Whip to the ropes. He charges in and RUNNING FOREARM by The Knick Man! I think we all know what time it is! The Knick Man placing Pippen on the top turnbuckle. He's climbing all the way to the top ropes. The Knick Man has Pippen and he lifts him up and SLAM DUNK BY THE KNICK MAN! The Knick Man nailing him with that top rope piledriver and this match is history! Referee James Roma with the count.......one.......two.......three! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The winner of the match, in the time of 1 minute and 14 seconds, THE KNICK MAN! Dan: The Knick Man with a successful debut on Saturday Night..... ("Fight The Power" by Public Enemy plays loudly in the background.) DJ Slam: The boys have ARRIVED!!! We're just going to welcome The Knick Man into the AICW, that's all! Dan: And DJ Slam has left the broadcasting area and he's climbing into the ring as the members of Black Power are making their way down the aisle. I don't like the looks of this and this crowd doesn't either as they are booing BP loudly! Martin X, Westside Walavan, Ice Cold, and The Nubian Warriors are all climbing into the ring and The Knick Man isn't backing down one bit! The Knick Man looking around at each of them as if he is ready to take them all on. And now Martin X grabbing the microphone. Let's listen in.... Martin X: Hold it, hold it Knick Man! We ain't here to cause no beef son! As a matter of fact, we're here to congradulate you! Good job in your impressive victory tonight! (Martin X and the rest of Black Power applaud) Knick Man: What do you want X? Martin X: I'm here to make you a business proposition, Knick Man! I want you to become a member of Black Power! With your talent, and my leadership, we can take you straight to the top of the AICW! Besides, don't you think it's about time we have a BLACK AICW WORLD CHAMPION? I mean, come on! That FAGGOT TROY WALCOTT ain't never gonna win no World Title! And the AICW keeps on JERKING ME AROUND, not giving me any title shots! But you, Knick Man? You are the man! So what do you say? (The crowd is all yelling "No" as The Knick Man looks around at the crowd. He then takes the mic and speaks) Knick Man: Well, Well, Well. My debut match, and already, Martin X is asking me to join the stable of Black Power. I would love to join, but I don't fit the qualifications to join such an "elite" group. First of all, it's obvious that you have to have the ego as big as the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING and the brain as small as a MUSTARD SEED (stares at Westside Walavan as teh crowd laughs and chants "Knick Man") Secondly, it's obvious that I must speak fluent ebonics and have NO COMPREHENSION of the English language! (stares hard at Ice Cold) WHAT UP WIT DAT? (the crowd laughs) Oh yeah, then I also have to be a simple minded racist who crys and makes excuses over my failures because in reality I just don't have the SKILLS to make the cut! (looks at Martin X) So you want to know if I want to be down with The Black Power? Sorry X, gangs ain't my thang! You know what I mean...SON? (The Knick Man smiles and waves his hands up and down as the crowd cheers loudly.) Martin X: Alright man, I respect that! You didn't have to try and play us, but it's all good! if it was anybody else, I would have taken them out! But since you THE KNICK MAN, I'll forgive you this time! But my offer still stands Knick Man! If you ever need any help...... (Ice Cold charges The Knick Man and clotheslines him from behind) Martin X: GET IT FROM YOUR GAY WHITE LOVER MARV ALBERT NIGGA!!!!!!!!!!!! Dan: Oh my god, the members of Black Power are doing a number on The Knick Man. The Nubian Warriors are stomping away on The Knick Man. Muffasa Bukola lifts him up and CHOKE SLAM to the mat with authority! Muffasa now lifting him up in the air. Nelson from off the top and THE MOTHER LAND!!! Knick Man is down and now The Nubian Warriors going to the outside of the ring while Westside and Ice Cold continue to beat on The Knick Man. Ice Cold now lifting him up and THE COOL AS ICE! He dropped The Knick Man like a bad habit. WAIT A MINUTE!!! Here comes Rebel and @$$ Kicker Andrew! Rebel and Andrew making their way to the ring and now they are brawling with The Nubian Warriors. Meanwhile in the ring Westside Walavan kicking The Knick Man in the ribs repeatedly. Now he hoists him up and WESTSIDE POWERBOMB! And look at Martin X slapping him mercelessly! These guys are lower than dirt! Martin X: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND MESS WITH THE BLACK MAN! Dan: Andrew and Rebel doing a number on The Nubian Warriors. BOO-YA! They just send Nelson and Muffasa crashing right into each other! And now they are climbing into the ring and look at Black Power run like the cowards that they are! And here comes DJ Slam......Slam that was absolutely disgusting! DJ Slam: Thank you Dan! That chump got exactly what he deserved! Coming up in here taliking all that ying yang about "the sport" That sucka's THROUGH! He won't be wrestling in this federation anytime soon! Dan: I'm not too sure about that! The Knick Man with the assistance of Rebel and @$$ Kicker Andrew is getting to his feet!!!!!! The crowd chanting "Knick Man" as he's on his feet! What a display of courage by The Knick Man! DJ Slam: That ain't courage Dan, it's STUPIDITY! Dan: Andrew and Rebel helping The Knick Man out of the ring and now they are helping him to the back. The Knick Man looks in pretty bad shape, but he's got his fist pumped in teh air, and he 's walking on his own. That's a very good si.....OH GOD NO!!!!!!!! CHANDLER STONE JUST CAME FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN AND NAILED KNICK MAN WITH A STONY KICK! Knick Man is out like a light! DJ Slam: HA HA HA! The Knick Man got DROPPED by THE WHITE MAN! I love it!!!! Dan: Stone grabbing Rebel and THE STONE CUTTER!!!!!! Rebel is down! @$$ Kicker Andrew from behind, but The Stone sidesteps him! Now he grabs Andrew and A STONE CUTTER FOR HIM TOO!!! Chandler Stone has wrecked havoc! And the crowd booing loudly! Chandler Stone with a cocky smile on his face and now he's grabbing the mic. CHANDLER STONE: DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?! DID YOU SEE WHAT THE STONE JUST DID?!?!?! Do you all think The Stone is a joke now? We just took out three of your heroes by ourselves fair and square. Look at them. The Stone is no joke, he is young and supreme! A$$ Kicker Andrew? You couldn't beat a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest. Look at you, The Stone kicked your a$$ real good didn't he? Look at the worthless Rebel. You're not Luke Skywalker, you're not Han Solo, you're the guy in fatigues that gets shot down by even the lowliest of Storm Troopers. Well, tonight you were a star before you expired because you were taken out by the man with the plan, the man at the top of the Empire..THE STONE!!!! [The crowd begins chanting "CHANDLER SUCKS!" VERY loud.] CHANDLER STONE: Listen to the Stoners chant for me! Listen to how they love me! They realize I am young and supreme Knick Man. Knick Man you blew it tonight brother. Joining Black Power was the only chance you had against me. The only way you could survive The Stone's rise to power was to surround yourself with them! You aren't a team player though are you Knick Man? You were always a glory hog. Always out for yourself! Even Patrick Ewing hated your guts! Well, you could have been a Bull by joining Black Power Knick Man, but instead you are still a worthless little nobody. Look what I did to your team. The Stone knocked them out by himself. These fans hate you John Williams, they hate you like The Stone hates you. They hate you like the whole world hates you. You talk about heart Knick Man, well the heart is an important organ, but it's meaningless without the BRAIN. You have no brains John Williams, you have no brains Knick Man. You see you hear the stories all the time about the kid with heart who took so much punishment and tried so hard and all the fans were behind him because of all his heart and where does he end up? Broken down and beaten up. It's always the guy with the brain on top and nobody has more brains than The Stone. You can take those fake title rings and stick them where the sun doesn't shine Knick man, because they are as worthless as you. John Williams, you will never beat The Stone in ANYTHING. The Stone is superior in intellect and superior in athleticism. The Stone has been drinking his Gatorade, eating his Wheaties, wearing his new AIR JORDAN sneakers and getting lessons from the greatest of all time Michael Jordan and even though you don't know who your daddy is, he knows The Stone could even take you in basketball. You call yourself Knick Man...I call you.....DICK, MAN how are you? The Stone would like everybody to say hello to his college chum Richard Eisley in the front row. DAN CHAN: Oh brother...I can't believe this guy! COME ON CHANDLER! (Andrew and Rebel started showing signs of movement and Stone hit both of them square in the face with the microphone.) CHANDLER STONE: Knick Man, The Stone was so supposed to play a little game with you tonight, but you're in no shape to participate so it'll have to wait until we meet again. You remember this night John, you remember how The Stone kicked your tail and your friends tails all by himself and think twice before you step to the Mack Daddy of violence again. The headlines in all the major papers tomorrow will scream "WELCOME TO THE STONE AGE" but since Knick Man, Andrew, Rebel, and all you fans are at second grade reading comprehension The Stone will have to come out here and read it to you so you might finally learn something in your miserable lives. Knick Man, you ugly old goat, you have the face of a bass and you're a pain in The Stone's a$$. Speaking of pains in YOUR a$$, tell Marv...The Stone says hello. [Chandler throws the mic down on the Knick Man. Places one finger on his chin and strikes a pose as the boos and some garbage cascade down upon him. He exits as if the fans are cheering instead of booing.] DJ Slam: HA HA HA! The Stone must be PART BLACK! That was PHAT BABY! Dan: Absolutely sickening display by Chandler Stone. Attacking a man when he's down. Officials coming to attend to Knick Man, Rebel, and Andrew. We'll be right back!