Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back and right now, let's take you back in the locker room where The Egyptian Magician is standing by! The Egyptian Magician: Every week, this ACIW skips me! I ask for COMPETITION, but NO, I never get a match! I work two jobs now to support myself, and I'm sick of this...this........CRAP! All I ask for is the chance to get in the ring, so I don't have to drive cab all day! I stink and I can't afford to take a shower! Why must this happen? If they jack me one more time....I PEE ON CROWD!!! This is the last draw! I swear to allahaghhhh..... (A massive pair of hands wrap themselves around the Egyptian Magician's neck.) Dan: OH NO!!! That's.....that's the Scarecrow!!! Dima: Big deal! Dima would crush that puny bag of hay! Dan: The Scarecrow is dragging the Egyptian Magician out of the locker room! He's bringing him towards the ring! And OH NO!! He's just grabbed James Roma with the other hand! He's dragging both of them! Dima: I can carry TEN men on my shoulders and not feel tired! Dan: Here they come! They're coming down the aisle! I...I think we're gonna have a match! The Scarecrow rolls James Roma in the ring, Roma calls for the bell! Dan: The Scarecrow now presses the Magician high above his head! What power! The Scarecrow dumps him in the ring over the top rope! This guy is incredible! Dima: He is a weak American! We Russians can do that with one hand! Dan: I'd like to see it! The Scarecrow now climbs over the top rope, this guy is huge! The Magician to the ropes. He comes back with a shoulderblock, but The Scarecrow doesn't budge! The Magician went down like a ton of bricks! He's back on his feet, and he plants a dropkick right in the Scarecrow's kisser! NO EFFECT! The Scarecrow just standing there! I don't even think he knows that he's being attacked! Dima: We Russians have the reflexes of cats! Dan: Lemme guess, you have nine lives too. The Magician to the ropes once again! He comes back with a high cross body, but the Scarecrow catches him! This is unbelievable! The Scarecrow now with a devastating powerslam! The Magician is clutching his back and writhing in pain! Ring the bell already, it's over! Dima: I could beat the Scarecrow in half this time! Dan: The Scarecrow now grabs the Magician around the neck! He's picking him up with one hand! He's holding him high in the air with one hand! MASSIVE CHOKESLAM!!!! Pin him already! What is this? The Scarecrow now picking up the Magician again and BOO-YAA! CRUCIFIX SLAM!!! The Scarecrow lays on top of the Magician! ONE......TWO.....THREE!! The Scarecrow is looking around aimlessly!! I don't think he knows that he has to pin his opponent! Dima: Of course not, his I.Q. is low like all Americans! Andy: The winner of this....match....THE SCARECROW!!! Dan: Total domination by this monster, and he is hot on the trails of The Crow! He's making his way back to the dressing room. Hopefully he's not looking to pull anymore wrestlers out of the back! Dima: If he laid a hand on DIMA, I would rip it off like a glove! Dan: In a few short minutes, we'll be going to "The Mighty C.C." Cesar Colon, who is in the back with AICW Commissioner Argie Otero, who is going to announce the card for our second pay-per-view, SEASONS' BEATINGS: VIOLENT NIGHT, coming to you live on December 28, from the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon! The tickets for that event sold out in ONE HOUR!!! The AICW is the first wrestling organization to hit Portland in a long time, so those fans there are hungry for action! Again, Argie Otero WILL announce the card for that event! But first, we've got to hear the "long awaited" comments from one Mr. Y, who will let us know the status of his decision to join Kyle Bane's Demonweb! Let's go to Mr. Y! <"Master of Puppets" by Metallica blasts over the sound system as Mr. Y makes his way down to the ring. He enters the ring and takes the microphone.> Dan: I'm telling you fans, I can't wait to hear what he has to say! Mr. Y: That's right, the (voice cracks) Master has returned! Yeah, that's right, I'm the Master! BOW DOWN TO YOUR MASTER!! Yeah! Anyway, I came back here for one reason, and one reason alone! (ringside fans begin to yell derogatory remarks at Mr. Y) Hey, you (voice cracks) NIMRODS shut your holes! I'm talking here! Yeah, that's right, I'm talking! And I've got a lot to say to you people! Yeah, that's right, a true (voice cracks) superstar coming out for an (voice cracks) impromptu interview! All you people came out here to see me, and now I'm gonna give you you're money's worth! Yeah, that's right, your money's worth! Not like those (voice cracks) hot dog vendors walking around the arena! I mean, five bucks for a (voice cracks) weiner? Come on! That's (voice cracks) ridiculous! Just a little while ago, I went to one of those vendor guys, I told him to give me a (voice cracks) hot dog with the (voice cracks) works, he tells me to give him five bucks--yeah, that's right, five bucks! Can you believe it? I told him I was Mr. Y, so I should get a complimentary dog! ... Dan: Ummm...I thought he was coming out here to address Kyle Bane's offer... Mr. Y: You'd think he could give me a complimentary weiner, being as I'm the Master of the World, and all...but no! He wouldn't do it! He asked why he should give me a free hot dog...I told him, "Why? Y NOT?!" Now, I was really hungry, so I decided to give him the dollar I had in my pocket and see if I could get anything for that...but I reached into my pocket, and it turns out there was a hole in it! That's right, there was a hole in it! ... Dan: Here come Kyle Bane and Legion! Maybe now we'll get some answers! Mr. Y: Hey! It's (voice cracks) YOU guys! Hey, guys, you got anything to eat? I never did get that hot dog...guy's gotta eat, ya know! (Kyle Bane and Legion look at each other, then at Mr. Y, neither uttering a word.) So what're you guys here for? You still want me to join your group? Wellll, I don't know...I was thinking about it! But I dunno, what if I wanted to, like...you know, start my own little group? (shakes his head arrogantly) Yeah! Just imagine it! The yWo! Or maybe, yeah...I got it! Degeneration Y! (giggles oddly) Yeah, Degeneration Y! Are you ready? Bow to your Master! You think you can tell me what to do? You think you can tell me what to wear? (holds his arms up in the air symbolizing a "Y") Well, you can go down THERE! (executes a "groin chop," but misses and actually whacks himself in the groin; Mr. Y collapses in pain) Dan: You know, sometimes I have to question Kyle Bane's judgment... Mr. Y: (in a high-pitched voice) You know what? I think I'll join! (Mr. Y's eyes cross and he passes out) Dan: Kyle Bane looking rather pleased...I wonder what plans he has for the Annoying One? Now Kyle Bane and Legion are each grabbing a leg of Mr. Y and dragging him to the back! Dima: In Mother Russia, this is how the men assert themselves over their women! Dan: Right now is the big moment that we've all been waiting for! Cesar Colon is standing by with AICW Commissioner Argie Otero who is ready to announce the big card for our next pay-per-view, Seasons' Beatings: Violent Night, which airs Sunday, December 28, live from the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon! Take it away Cesar! Cesar: Thank you oh so much Dan! (In a "suck-up" voice.) I'm here with the MOST lovely, MOST beautiful, (Argie blushes) MOST stunning, MOST innovative,(Argie starts to look bored) MOST fashion-conscious, MOST (struggles to find the right word) incredible, MOST.. Argie: Thank you Cesar! That'll suffice. Cesar: Why most certainly oh great one! Argie: And stop kissing up to me! I hate that! Cesar: Ok. So, bud...I mean Argie, what do you have planned for Seasons' Beatings: Violent Night? Argie: Well Cesar, here in the AICW, I like to listen to fan input. I receive tons of letters, cards, and e-mail regarding what you great people would like to see. I don't care what the wrestlers want. Sure, I like to please everybody, but it's the fans who pay the money, and it's the fans who'll get what they want. So, I based the entirety of this card on fan input. This one is for you! One of the first matches that came to mind was The Crow versus The Scarecrow. After that vicious attack that the Scarecrow laid on the Crow at Fright Night, and after the actions of the Scarecrow in the past month, I've decided to put the two together in a match. Cesar: Wow! I can't wait for that one! That'll be worth the price of admission alone! Anything else? Argie: That match will be an anything-goes match! The only rules are, there are no rules! Cesar: Really? Argie: In addition to that, I've also signed Ice Cold against Martin X! Of all the matches I've signed, no other match was in as much demand! So I've signed this special "Viewer Request Match" to take place on December 28th! Cesar: I can't wait for Ice Cold to get his hands around that dirty Martin X! What else do you have in store? Argie: AICW Television champion Elvis will defend against the number one challenger, El Aguila Negro! Now the last time that Mr. Negro got a title shot was against "Swingin'" Chandler Stone, who has been released from the AICW! There was a strong demand that he receive another crack at the title, so I've decided to give him that opportunity on December 28th. Cesar: But I happen to know that Stephon T. Davis of the Township Rebellion would also like a chance at the belt, especially after what went down tonight! Argie: I will take Stephon's concerns into consideration. I don't think he will be in line for another shot at the television title for now, so I think that the only fair thing is to give him first chance at a title shot sometime in the new year. Cesar: Sounds fair to me! Argie: The tag team situation has heated up very quickly here in the AICW! Many fans complained that the Nubian Warriors were dodging all the top talent. Also, many fans wanted to see Money and Power face the Perfectly Perfect Duo! So, in order to give these fans the best, I've signed a three-way match between the AICW Tag Team Champions the Nubian Warriors, Money and Power and the Perfectly Perfect Duo!!! Cesar: Holy cow!! Argie: However, it will be a one fall match, and in order for the title to change hands, the Nubian Warriors MUST be defeated cleanly! Cesar: Does that mean if either Money and Power or the Perfectly Perfect Duo should beat each other, the match is over? Argie: Yes it does Cesar! Now, I think that another match that's been in demand is a re-match between AICW International Champion "8 Ball" Vic Garibaldi and "Camel" Joe Banno! Cesar: Great match, but what about a possible career ending match between "Camel" Joe Banno and Nicky De Niro? Argie: I have been looking at that possibility. Many fans have sent in feedback about that matter, but most of those letters have been hostile in nature. I don't believe that the fans want to see anyone lose their career in the AICW, which is why I haven't booked that contest. However, if both men involved agree and sign a waiver which states that they won't sue if they're forced to leave, then I'll be happy to book that match! Cesar: I personally think that both of those guys need some fashion sense knocked into them! Now, what about a main event? What do you have planned for that? Argie: This one was hard to come up with, because I had so many different requests! I had everything from a 8-man ladder re-match to Kyle Bane against "Superstar" Steve Dallas, the young man who upset Mr. Y a few months ago! I've decided to be fair to everyone. Of course, should "The Demon" Kyle Bane successfully defend his title tonight against Loki, he will participate in the main event. Now I was thinking and I only came up with this match last night. "Golden Boy" Johnny Smith is the number one contender to the title and he will be in the match. Now, here's where this match gets complicated. Many fans complained about the actions of Nicky De Niro at the last pay-per-view. He may have cost Johnny Payne the title, and I think it's only fitting that Johnny Payne participate in the main event as well. However, he should also get his chance at revenge, so I've added Nicky De Niro into the match, so now we've got ourselves AICW World Champion "The Demon" Kyle Bane, "Golden Boy" Johnny Smith, Johnny Payne, and Nicky De Niro in a four-way elimination matchup!!! Cesar: Wow! For that kind of quality and excitement, I'd be willing to pay, like, a thousand bucks!!! Argie: Well, as you may or may not know, tickets for that event have already sold out! However, for those of you unable to be in the Portland area on December 28th, this pay-per-view will only cost you FOURTEEN NINETY-FIVE!!! Cesar: Wow!!! What a bargain! I know what I'm gonna be doing on the 28th! Fans, we've got to take a commercial break, so use this time to call your local cable company and tell them that you want to see "Seasons' Beatings: Violent Night" live on pay-per-view!!! We'll be right back! (smiles into the camera)