Martin X: GET IN THE RING, WHITE GIRL! Martin X: You don't do anything until I give you permission, you got that, WOMAN? Reba Kola: Please don't hurt me, Mr. X! Martin X: DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME "MR. X" AGAIN, YOU GOT THAT? Reba: Yes, please stop abusing me, I didn't do anything to you! Martin X: No, but your ancestors did! Remember when my great, great, great grandfather wanted to take a leak, but your great, great, great grandfather whipped him and told him to get back to work? Reba: What are you talking about? Martin X: You know what I'm talking about, don't play dumb with me! You got some white blood, and you know it! Reba: Huh, my blood's red! Martin X: Oh, you wanna get smart with the BLACK MAN? I'll teach you. Ice Cold: Yo man, you wanna attack some helpless young lady? WHAT UP WIT' THAT! Martin X: Well what do you know? This little "White Boy With a Tan" comes up in here trying to play hero! So what ya gonna do hero boy, or better yet, WHITE BOY! Dan Chan: Uh-Oh! Ice Cold just shot Martin X a look. Look out, Martin X with a big right hand, but NO!!! Ice Cold blocked it!!! Juan La Fon: Dan Chan: Ice Cold sends X to the ropes. He charges him and BOO-YA! Big clothesline sends Martin X straight over the top ropes! Ice Cold now attending to Reba, and Martin X is rather upset! Juan La Fon: Rather upset? He's heading over here right now! Dan Chan: Martin X is heading over here. He just grabbed a microphone! Martin X: You're gonna pay for this, you TRAITOR! You are a disgrace to the black race! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna be beating on you like you were up in the plantation BOY! . Martin X: BLACK POWER! Dan Chan: Martin X is now storming off back to the lockerroom and Ice Cold has just lifted up Reba in his arms! Juan LaFon: What are they, getting married? Dan Chan: Ice Cold is now carrying her back to the locker room. What a scene we have just witnessed here! Let's get down to Andy Burton, who is standing by with our next match! Andy Burton: This match is scheduled for one fall. First, making his way to the ring, weighing 260 lbs., from Cleveland, Ohio--here is Legion! Dan Chan: And here he comes...this man looks like he's seen the gates of hell and lived to tell the tale, a very pained look in his eyes. Juan LaFon: One word: Ex-Lax. Dan Chan: And a rather distasteful remark from my colleague Juan LaFon. Legion slaps a few hands before stepping into the ring, awaiting the arrival of Saint Stephen. Andy Burton: His opponent, now approaching the ring, weighing in at 234 lbs., from the Vatican, here is Saint Stephen!!! Dan Chan: A rather unusual individual, to say the least... Juan LaFon: He looks like some reject from Woodstock! And what the hell is with that tye-dye T-shirt of his? I'm going blind here! Dan Chan: The holy man enters the ring, and now he mounts the middle turnbuckle. He now makes a sign of the cross over the crowd, perhaps bestowing a little blessing over the fans? Juan LaFon: If you ask me, it's a load of holy sh-- Dan Chan: DON'T say it! Anyway, there's the bell...Saint Stephen and Legion preparing to lock up. This should be an interesting matchup. Juan LaFon: Yeah, psychopath vs. psychedelic. Dan Chan: The two men lock up. St. Stephen with a headlock, but Legion pushes him off into the ropes. St. Stephen on the rebound, and he takes him down with a shoulderblock. Legion right back on his feet as St. Stephen hits the ropes, aaaand Legion with a nice armdrag takedown. St. Stephen back up, and Legion catches him in a bodyslam. He follows it up by dropping an elbow, but Saint Stephen rolls out of the way. As Legion regains his vertical base, St. Stephen slaps on a side headlock. Juan LaFon: Well, whaddaya know? These loonies can wrestle! Dan Chan: Legion trying to gain some leverage now. An elbow to the midsection by Legion, and now an atomic drop sends the self-proclaimed saint down. Legion tries to go for a kneedrop but Saint Stephen able to roll out of harm's way. Both men getting back on their feet now and Saint Stephen catches Legion with a kick to the midsection. Legion is clutching his stomach now. Juan LaFon: Hope he doesn't have to throw up. Dan Chan: Saint Stephen grabs Legion around the waist and nicely executes a doctor bomb. He goes for the pinfall. One...two...Legion kicks out! Saint Stephen questioning referee James Roma about a "slow count." The holy one whips Legion into the ropes. Legion comes back hard into a reverse elbowsmash! Well-timed manuever by Saint Stephen. Stephen now slaps a chinlock on Legion. James Roma checks to see if its legal. Juan LaFon: That t-shirt of his should be illegal. Dan Chan: Legion now struggling to get to his feet, and out of nowhere he drops straight down again with a jawbreaker that breaks the hold! Legion coming at the stunned Saint Stephen, and he nails him with a double axhandle. He scoops up the holy man and executes a nice body slam! Saint Stephen rolls out of the ring to take a breather. Juan LaFon: He's had enough already, I see. Dan Chan: What on earth is Stephen doing? He's looking towards the rafters and is muttering to himself...or someone. Juan LaFon: He's crying to his daddy. Dan Chan: Saint Stephen now walking back up the ringsteps. James Roma is keeping Legion back. Stephen steps through the ropes...here comes Legion...OHHHH...Saint Stephen caught him with a thumb to the eye. I don't think James Roma saw that. Juan LaFon: He's blind like the rest of 'em. Dan Chan: Legion is blinded temporarily...he's walking towards the other corner...but Stephen comes from behind and takes Legion down hard with a bulldog! Legion is flat on his belly...Stephen goes to the ropes...he comes back with a legdrop and follows up by dropping the elbow. The saintly one is gaining momentum! Juan LaFon: Like a runaway train. Choooo. Choooo. Dan Chan: Saint Stephen picks up Legion and sets him up for a...OHHH...he nailed him with a devastating brain buster! Stephen climbs the to the top rope and comes off with a knee-drop right on Legion's forehead! Stephen is well in control of this match! Stephen picks Legion up off the mat and executes a beautiful fisherman suplex. At this rate, Legion won't last much longer. Saint Stephen is setting up Legion on the top rope. He may be going for a superplex. This could end it right here. If he connects, I don't think Legion is gonna get back up. Saint Stephen goes for it...LEGION BLOCKS IT!!! The two men are struggling on the top rope...who's gonna get the edge. It looks like LEGION has the upper hand...OH NO!!!! Legion has Saint Stephen in the air...this is unbelievable!!! OH MY GODDDDD!!! Legion just superplexed Saint Stephen to the OUTSIDE of the ring!!!!! Legion went down too...and both men are lifeless on the outside of the ring! Juan LaFon: This is incredible! Dan Chan: Referee James Roma is starting the count. I don't think anyone can get up from that! One..........two........three........four.......five....Legion is beginning to stir.....six....Saint Stephen is still out............seven..........Stephen is moving ever so slightly.............eight.....Legion is trying to get back into the ring....will he make it...............nine.........Legion's about to crawl back in...................TEN!!!! Saint Stephen was holding onto Legion's leg! He prevented him from getting in the ring! We have a double countout! Juan LaFon: What is Saint Stephen doing? Dan Chan: Saint Stephen has a bible in his hands....he takes a swing at Legion...but REFEREE JAMES ROMA GETS IN THE WAY....Roma is out...that must have been a loaded bible! Legion and Saint Stephen are punching away at each other like mad dogs! I don't think they care that the match is over! Juan LaFon: Obviously. Dan Chan: Officials are coming down to ringside to stop this guys! Luckily they're being split up. Both men are being restrained now....I don't think this feud is over...not by a long-shot! Juan LaFon: Nooooooooo....you don't say? Dan Chan: Can we get an official word? Andy Burton: Ladies and gentlemen...the referee declares this match a double count-out at the time of 10 minutes 35 seconds. Dan Chan: Okay fans, our next contest will pit the tag team of Money and Power against the Rising Suns. Any comments about this match, "Who-on"? Juan LaFon: Yeah...I just want that tramp Erotic Erin to know that I am the sexiest woman in the AICW and that she is just a coach-class bimbo! Erin, I hope your team loses and breaks their necks! Dan Chan: Let's go to Andy Burton for the introductions! Andy Burton: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, about to come down the aisle accompanied by Mr. Fujisaki, weighing in at a total combined weight of 460 pounds, from Japan, The Rising Suns! Dan Chan: Here come the Rising Suns now. They're a young up-and-coming tag team from Japan. Juan LaFon: More like down-out-and-inexperienced! Dan Chan: Be nice. Andy Burton: And their opponents...led to the ring by Erotic Erin McCoys, at a total combined weight of 535 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Greg Days and Jason Steele, Money and Power!!! Dan Chan: Here come Money and Power with Erotic Erin! Juan LaFon: Jason wastes no time in taunting fans. Dan Chan: The fans are booing like crazy, they hate these guys already! Juan LaFon: And here comes that sleaze-bag Erin! Dan Chan: She's heading right this way! She's right in front of our broadcast booth! Juan LaFon: Get out of here! You're violating my airspace! And stop blowing that smoke in my face! Dan Chan: Well I guess she's done with you for now. Thank God she's getting back to her guys, that smoke smells horrible! Juan LaFon: She's so disgusting, she violates her own airspace! Dan Chan: The bell rings and Jason Steele will be starting for Money and Power. It'll be Hideki Chono for the Rising Suns. The two are sizing each other up now. Steele gives Chono a knee to the midsection and gets him in a standing wristlock. Steele whips Chono into the ropes...OH...Greg Days gave Chono a knee to the back as he hit the ropes. Referee Ryan Gentle is admonishing Days but he doesn't care. Juan LaFon: Disqualify him already! Dan Chan: Steele picks up Chono and executes a nice side backbreaker. He makes a quick tag to the big guy Greg Days and executes a devastating choke slam. He goes for the pin...one...two...THREE!!! This one is over just like that! Andy Burton: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, at a time of 42 seconds, MONEY AND POWER!!! Dan Chan: Something is going on here. The crowd is looking towards the back. HERE COME THE PERFECTLY PERFECT DUO!!! Money and Power is looking the other way! Lance and Max hit the ring. Erin trying to warn her tag team, but BOO-YA! PPD just nailed Money and Power! Juan LaFon: Ding, Ding Ding! Now we can have a real match! Dan Chan: PPD now stomping Days and Steele! Lance and Max now picking up Steele. They send him to the ropes and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE sends Steele over the top ropes! PPD now setting up Days! Oh No! I think we know what's coming! Juan LaFon: Perfectly Perfect Execution! Dan Chan: Now the crowd is looking towards the aisle! Look! It's REIGN OF TERROR! Armageddon and Abomination are running towards the ring. Lance putting Days on his shoulders. Max now climbing the rope. They don't see Reign of Terror. Aramageddon comes behind Max. Bam! Max goes flying off the ropes and hits the mat hard! Lance putting Days down, and now Armageddon and Abomination are double-teaming Lance! Where is security? Juan LaFon: Those Fat Slobs? What are they going to do? Dan Chan: Finally, here comes security! And look! The Nubian Warriors are at the back laughing at the entire situation. I don't find anything funny! Juan LaFon: I do! Dan Chan: Security finally regaining order! What action! We've got to take another break! Juan LaFon: Again?!!