Hoffy's Haven
The Most Pathetic
 Commentator of All Time


Bill Walton
Bill Walton may have been a great player but he sucks as a comentator.
Bill Walton and his
Campaign of Stupidity

Bill Walton was once a good, if not great NBA player. He holds quite a few NBA records and honors including being a one time League MVP and holding the record for being the only NBA player to sport a the pony tail. However unfortunately this doesn't automatically qualify Bill as a great NBA comentator ( Bill works as an NBA on NBC color analyst). Infact Bill is a damn terrible comentator.

I've collected a few of Bill's more notable quotes from his time on the microphone. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

"Oh nice pass"- Just after the pass was intercepted.

"Nothing but net on this one."- Speaking over a replay of Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller banking a jumpshot in.

"Oh, [Robert] Horry was doing it [for the Rockets] when Phoenix was winning championships." - Just how many championships did they win Bill?

"I peaked when I was 12," Walton says. "I hurt my knee when I was 12, and I was never good after that."- I'm not so sure how serious Bill was about that one but when can you ever be when Bill is talking.

"Karl Malone is having an MVP-type game"- Malone was shooting 2-for-11 from the field, including a few muffed lay-ups.

Bill Walton
Bill is always on the cutting edge of fashion and style.
Bill Walton has a mile-wide bias against the Bulls. Check out some of these anti Bulls quotes.

"...taking charges is for guys who have no game!"- After Scottie Pippen got creamed under the hoop by Shawn Kemp, drawing a charging foul.

"Michael's pretty good."- Referring to Michael Jordan.

"The Bulls are off to a horrible start!"- The score was Utah 4 to Chicago's 2.

Bill Walton loves Shaq, and he's never scared to tell anyone about it.

"Shaq, the second best player behind Michael Jordan"

"Shaq, the most dominant player in the NBA"

But so far my favorite Bill Walton pearl of wisdom has to be this one:

"GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE!!"- Bill in lieu of cogent analysis, during game 1 of the 1997 NBA Finals.



I'm not the only Walton
Stupidity Fan Either!


You have never seen three more stunned faces than those of Peter Vecsey, Hannah Storm and John Salley when colleague Bill Walton quoted Bob Dylan at them during CNBC postgame show after Game 4 of the 1998 NBA Finals.

I forget the context, but Walton all of a sudden said, "I try my best to be just like I am. But everybody wants me to be just like them.... I ain't gonna wash those floors no more." The lyrics, of course, are from Maggie's Farm, and what they have to do with basketball I have no idea...

Letter from John Van


I just checked out the Bill Walton page...and all I have to say is:

BRILLIANT!

He is the worst thing that's ever happened to color commentary. Glad I'm not alone on that one...Poor Snapper Jones, he had to put up with him for all those years...

I can't remember any direct quotes, but I do remember him calling Clyde "Micheal Drexler" once...

Keep up the good work, man!

Letter from Marc Cellucci


To submit your own favorite Bill Walton Quote E-Mail Me Here.
To book Bill Walton as a speaker for your next engagement Check out Bill's Homepage.



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