TEAM INFO
| LOCATION: | Loserville, Population: You |
| ARENA NAME: | Loserville Arena |
| COACH: | Jerk Meov |
| CAPTAIN: | Ron Francis |
| ASSISTANT CAPTAINS: | Peter Bondra, Vincent Damphousse |
| OWNER: | Quentin "Asshole" Hopcraft |
| PHILOSOPHY: | Can't win, don't try!! Trying is the first step to failure. |
| Season | GP | W | L | T | P | GF | GA | Finish | Playoffs |
| 1998 | 80 | 35 | 34 | 11 | 81 | 265 | 269 | 6th in the Eastern Conference | lost to Seinfelds 4-3 in round 1 |
| 1999 | 84 | 29 | 47 | 8 | 66 | 286 | 322 | 7th in the Eastern Conference | didn't qualify |
| RECORD | ## | SEASON |
| Most Points | 81 | 1998 |
| Wins | 35 | 1998 |
| Losses | 47 | 1999 |
| Ties | 11 | 1998 |
| Goals For | 286 | 1999 |
| Goals Against | 322 | 1999 |
| RECORD | PLAYER | ## | SEASON |
| Most Goals | P. Bondra | 56 | 1999 |
| Most Assists | R. Francis | 48 | 1998 |
| Most Points | P. Bondra | 90 | 1990 |
| Most PIM's | B. Isbister | 351 | 1999 |
| Most Points/Rookie | R. Francis | 66 | 1998 |
| Best GA Average | C. Osgood | 3.26 | 1998 |