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WWF Commercials WWF Commercials
By Reivyn Poe (Sarah Whitaker)




Judd/ Looks like a teenage punk rocker. Wears a grey, tattered t-shirt with illegable print with worn out blue-jeans that have no knees. Wears worn out Nike�s and has a tattoo or two. His hair is long and messed up.

Cornwall/ Looks normal compared to Judd, bigger with a fair build and a beard. He has shorter hair with a normal t-shirt and jeans. Chain wallet.


WWF Commercial #1

Cornwall and Judd are walking in the mall striding proudly, looking macho. They say hello to a few attractive women who just roll their eyes.

Cornwall: Yeah! Look at us! We�re at the top of the food chain!

Judd: Look it me! I�m Stone Cold Steve Austin! Judd 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!

Cornwall: Austin? Naaaaa� we�re stronger than Austin could ever dream of!

Judd: WWF doesn�t have a clue, man! They should hire us to bring the WWF a REAL main event!

As they go by yakking and insulting the WWF a tall blonde man in a leather jacket comes up to the two.

Cornwall: Hey! What do YOU want?

Man: I hear you were talking about the WWF. I beg to differ that you have anything to offer to it.

Judd: Listen, man! The WWF BITES!

Man: Bites? Gentlemen�

The man takes off his shades (Revealing to be Gangrel) and smiles from ear to ear, showing off his fangs. Cornwall and Judd�s eyes widen with shock.

Gangrel: � you have NO idea�

You can hear Gangrel�s music and evil laughter as Judd and Cornwall scream very loudly. The screen goes black with a few dribbles of blood showing the �WWF Attitude� sign. The screen comes back to Cornwall and Judd rubbing their necks.

Judd: Dude� that guy gives me the creeps!

Cornwall: Yeah� I feel a bit dizzy, though�

Judd: Me too, man, let�s get a drink� I have the weirdest craving for a bloody mary!

The two move their hands from their necks showing bite wounds.

Cornwall: You too?

They walk away and the screen fades out.


WWF Commercial #2

Scene: (News stand. There a few tables and chairs nearby and there is a man with long auburn hair, shades and black bandanna reading a newspaper. There are trash cans on the side and the local paper vendor behind the counter. Judd and Cornwall come by and lean on the counter, hanging out.)

Judd: Dude, what about those WWF people? Are they bums or what?

Cornwall: I could beat three of them with one hand tied behind my back!

Judd: What about that X-Pac or Stone Cold? *Laughs very idioticlly*

Cornwall: We could turn X-Pac into Ex-Lax!

Judd: Sheeya! Or, like we could turn Stone Cold into... a brew! Ice Cold!

(Cornwall and Judd laugh a bit as the man sitting at the table chuckles, but tries to keep it contained... however, Judd and Cornwall catches him and go over to the table)

Judd: What er' YOU laughin' at, dude?

Man: The two of you...

Cornwall: You don't think we can take them on?

Man: Please... my kid brother could beat you up.

Cornwall: You really THINK so, eh? We can take him any day!

Judd: Dude... I say bring the little brat on!

Man: If you insist...

(The man stands and removes his shades, revealing that he's the Undertaker. Judd and Cornwall look at eachother, speechless.)

Taker: Kane, did you hear what they were saying?

(A *THUMP THUMP THUMP* sound can be heard as Judd and Cornwall slowly look up, eyes wide at Kane they stare at eachother for a two seconds before Kane tilts his head at the duo. Judd gulps deep. The WWF attitude Logo appears as we hear a *BOOM POW CRASH in the background. The next shot opens into Judd and Cornwall's legs sticking out of the trash cans.)

Judd's Voice: Duuude... it reeks in here, man!


WWF Commercial #3

Scene: (Judd and Cornwall are in a Casino. They eye a waitress in a bunny suit who just pouts and walks on. The duo comes near a poker table where a few people are playing poker�)

Judd: Dude, this place has everything the WWF needs� babes, brew and GAMBLING!

Cornwall: I hear ya�! The WWF is always on the losing end, though. Fat, lazy and bums� unlike US of course!

Judd: Duuuuude. Sheeya! I mean look at this bod!

(Judd flexes, revealing a puny punk body. Cornwall just shakes his head.)

Cornwall: The WWF has nothing on us!

Judd: Sheeya! (Looks at the poker table) Hey, dudes! Deal us in!

Cornwall: Yeah, we�ll take all your money.

The table scene opens and we see Judd and Cornwall next to eachother at the table. We see that Cactus Jack is dealing.

Jack: Gather �round for another set of cards, friends! (Deals cards) Open to you, Manie!

Mankind is seen scratching his head, wearing his uniform and looking at his cards.

Mankind: Gee, Jack, I dunno� I�ll take three cards.

Judd and Cornwall look at each other dumbfounded.

Judd: Duuuude�

??????: You rang, my swinging cat?

The camera zooms in on Dude Love at another side of the table.

Dude: I�ll take two, my main man, Jack!

Jack: Okay� show your cards!

Judd: Pair of tens�

Mankind: Nothing�

Jack: Same here�

Dude: OWWWW! Have mercy! Three of a kind!

Cornwall: Full house! Read �em and weep!

Mankind: What do you have, Mr. Socko?

Cornwall: Mr. Socko???

The camera pans on a sweat sock w/ colored in eyes and mouth on top of the cards with a straight flush.

Mankind: Good for you, Mr. Socko!

Judd: That�s cheatin� man! No socks allowed!

Mankind: That�s very racist of you!

Jack: I say we pound em�!

Dude: Brothers, you have to find a bit of LOVE in you.

Jack: Love, schmove! I wanna fight!

Cormwall: Uh oh�

The WWF attitude sign appears with sounds of a fight in the background. When the scene returns, we find Judd and Cornwall at the bottom of the dogpile with Mr. Socko dangling from Judd�s forehead.

Judd: Awwww, man� isn�t there, like, a law against rabid laundry?

Cornwall: Aaaaah shaddap!

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