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Itz about time the Lakers management has done something right.

I was reading the paper on Thrus. April 17 and found something very interesting that I've decided to put up.

A not so long time ago, in a Chicago galaxy far, far away, the forces of Michael ruled the with a terrible destructive force. But the Rebel Alliance that had sprung up to oppose the ruling Empire, the two Jerrys of Front Office, slowly grew very strong. So strong that Michael felt compelled to leave. Scottie soon followed. And Denis, who always operated in his own galaxy anyway, dissappeard as well. Soon the on court Zen Master, himself, would depart. And so it came, slightly more than an earth year later, that the Zen Master would return, this time to a new planet near Hollywood, amid much grandeur excitement. This wise man of deep emotional spirit, this guru of the sport, this Obi-Wan Kenobi of basketball, had come to stake his claim in the new kingdom known as STAPLES. And the entire Empire cheered and smiled and, yes, eventually wondered: Could Obi relate to Kobe? Could the Zen Master get through to the Rap Master? And was that really his voice echoing through the hallowed halls of Hilton on Wednesday: '~SHAQ THE TRIANGLE SHAQ LET THE TRIANGLE BEWITHYOU..." And so the Zen Master, better known as Philip "Obi-Wan" JacksOn, would address the masses frQm the media, includ-mg their unofficial joker, the Vic of Brick. And another pretender said to be representing the How-ard of Stern. The Zen Master would smile. Yes, he definitely was not in Chi-cago, anymore. But he was among friends. The Lord of West was there, grinning at his apparent good fortune. The Prince of Kupchak was on hand, feeling hearty, as well. The Emperor of Buss, the one who had spent much of the king-dom's fortune to land this man, could notbe on hand. But through his sycophants, he let his mes-sage be heard: "Long may the Zen Master reign'." Unless, of cour~, he doesn't bring home the cherished, but elusive ring. Then, as Lord Chick, the voice of the kingdom, c~ould tell him~is reign might be no longer than those before him. But enough evil thoughts. What exactly could we glean from the Zen Master's first pub~ lic statements? Perhaps this: Like a Jedi Master, he comes with his own agenda "I teach a ~ he said. "1 do not set specific goals, because it might take a team two months to learn the system." He believes in selflessness. "You do not put your own self ahead of the team," he said. He thinks he has The Force al-ready with him. It merely needs a few refinements. "Shaq is a tremendous athlete, a tremendous force. But he has not really developed into a leader at this point." He lives by the power of the Triangle. "The triangle offense is built for a center. When Wilt (Cham-berlain) won his championship in L.A., that's what they played. In Philadelphia, they played the same thing and won and Wilt led the NBA in assists. With Shaq, it will be a matter of how well he can pass. And if he has the ability to put his offense secondary, not primary." He preaches the importance of the other end of the court. "I think defense is the key in the NBA," he said. "You can't win with offensealone. A lot has to do with conditioning and team chemistry. And those are areas I hope I can help." Many of the day's important questions couldn't be ~sked, be-cause the Emperor of Buss wasn't there to address them. Like what prompted him to suddenly dig deep into the king-dom's vault when he'd always seemed reluctant in the past to do so fQr a non-player? Could it be, as rumored, that some of the more expensive viewing posts in the new Staples Center are not selling well? And why, after giving most of his on-court rulers short-term contracts, would he offer the Zen Master five years at a reported $30 million, knowing that it would only swell expectations in the kingdom? The Lord of West tried his best to offer some hints. "I don't think this is a risk at all," he said. "We hired the pre-eminent coach in the league~" Unlike some of his predeces-sors, the Zen Master has im-pressed the new hierarchy with his attitude. "He is amazingly confident," said the Lord of West. "He seems unwavering in his confidence when you talk to him. And it is nice, for a change, to hear some-one talk about what our players can do, instead of what they can't." Kobe-Wan, they say, is very excited. He is already busy studying the Zen-Master's 'uide books. The Rap Master, too, seems headed for a new era, with new goals. There is talk that the Zen Master will ask i~im to lose some weight. Good luck on that one, ZM. The focus, of course, will be on next season. And the possible de-feat of The Duncan Menace in San Antonio and Darth Malone in Utah. The Zen Master has come back, after a year off, stronger of mind and fresher of body. Even if he does appear to have shoulders as wide as some of his new king-dom's stretch limos. He emphasized that he ~~~ould not have returned for just any challenge. "Of all the jobs out there this year," he said, "this is the one thatpiqued my interest." His Chief of Finance, Lord Musburger, smiled in the back-ground. Six million a year would pique anybody's interest, he must have been thinking. But the Zen Master, i~ is said, is into deeper things than money. He is into the cosmos and the spirit a~d the presidential cam-paign of Lord Bradley. "I feel very lucky to be here today," the Zen Master said. That could all change couie November, of course. Especially if his new kingdom starts losing. And Lord Bush starts winning.
Written By: Steve Bisheff, Orange County Register Columnist.
I appoligize for the typos through out the passage, I was too lazy to type it and just shoved it in my scanner to reconize the text.
I'M VERY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATES. MAKING A WEBPAGE TAKES A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT. IF I HAVE TIME, I WILL SWICH THIS PAGE TO A DIFFERENT FORMAT SO IT IS EASIER TO UPDATE.



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