HG NELSON: The Pong Behind the 'Pou

GQ Magazine 

 Computer games and locker room intimidation-not rnaturity-are behind the improvement of Mark Philippoussis on, and in some ways, off the court. So says the very outspoken HG Nelson, tennis expert and long-time Scud watcher.

"Let me first say that it's tremendous news The Scud is prepared to play Davis Cup," Nelson says. "I think for far too long Australia has relied on the Woodies to hold things together."

For Australia to even start thinking about relying on Philippoussis in the Davis Cup, Nelson explains, it all relies on The Scud playing the right sort of game.

"I think the 'Pou originally got into tennis thinking he didn't need a brain to play - he thought all you needed was a lot of power," explains Nelson.

"Now he's worked out that if the opponent is standing on the righthand side of the court, you should hit the ball to the lefthand side.

"It took The Scud quite a lot of work with Bill Gates inspired software. Much in the manner of the old PONG game, for those who know the origins of video games, when the bloke moves to the lefthand side, the Scud's trying to get it to the righthand side.

"When the opponent comes toward the net, the idea now is for the Scud to hit the ball over his head. Once he has completely mastered these techniques, he'll be an incredibly dangerous top level tennis player."

Wars of words are not as common to tennis as they are to cricket or lawn bowls, but Nelson doesn't buy the theory it's is a gentlemen's domain. The Scud-Newk blowout has taught Philiippoussis the art of intimidation: "People who think the game begins when the umpire shouts 'Play' are kidding themselves.

"In any sport, the game is won before the players step out. Lisa Curry-Kenny convinced me of this when she started to

bulk up a bit upstairs, simply to put the Brighteners on the younger, svelte swimmers in the locker room.

"Tennis is no exception. Jimmy Connors did it to our very own Kenny Rosewall in the Wimbledon final back in'74. Wally Masur did it. Charlie Fancutt did it too. Brad Drewitt was a shocker.

"They all do it today ... Sampras , Hingis, even Muster. These days the 'Pou just swans about nude, looks towards the Woodies and says, 'Have a look at this, boys...' Once they see that, they wilt."

The Woodies? Surely not? "They ain't got much swinging in the breeze," Nelson says