Pickles, onions, hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset us. Hi-Ho there all you people, it is I, the great and wonderful V1. As I'm sure your all aware, November is Native Awareness Month. So, do us all a fovor, when you see a drunk indian, throw him into the trunk of your car and drive him out of town, it's the least you can do.(Boyo, am I gonna get slammed for that one.) By the way, if anyone's insulted by this, I'd apologize in advance....if I actually gave two shits what you thought.
Now, onto some real wrestling...also known as anything BUT Nitro. Y'know, I for one am rather happy to see Goldust back in action. I always kinda liked him...I wasn't too fond of his gay angle, but I did like it when he did his little Hollywood deal. I kinda hope to see him actually make a decent run for a belt this time around...any belt.
Is our NEW Intercontinental Champion too awesome or what???? Ken Shamrock is too cool for words now. I already think that he makes a better champ than both HHH or The Rock. He's just so intimidating in the ring. You know for goddam sure that Ken could realistically beat the ever loving shit outta ANY other WWF superstar...with the possible exception of MAYBE Dan "I have the coolest music in wrestling" Severn. You damn well better believe that if Shamrock and Steve Austin ever got into a shoot fight, Austin would be crying like a baby in seconds. Ken Shamrock wasn't so great as a face, I mean, I liked him...but I never thought that he was as good as he could be...and I got the feeling that the only reason the fans cheered for him was because they were supposed, since he was a face, but I never really thought that the fans dug him for just being awesome. Now as the no mercy heel killa thrilla, look out WWF, cause Ken is gonna kick ass, break bones and to hell with taking names. I just hope that they don't turn him too jobber now that he's a face. Remember that while Ken was a face and The Rock was a heel, Ken could always kick The Rocks ass, now that the roles are reversed, I don't think you'd be seeing The Rock tap outta no ankle lock...which I think is kinda stupid.
Y'know, it's amazing with The Rock. Who can forget that less than a year ago, fans were saying the The Rock was the most overrated piece of shit in the business, and that they would NEVER EVER cheer him unless he left the wrestling business. Now, looky here, the fans are ALL over him like stink to shit, like overrated to Goldberg, like jobber to Luger. The fans are so goddam fickle, it's not even funny. One day they hate The Rock and cheer Shamrock, the next day, for NO goddam reason whatsoever, they love The Rock, but can't stand Shamrock...that's fans for ya I guess...buncha fags. I woulda thought that The Rock would remember how all the fans treated him before and not go outta his way to appeal to em...whatta fool.
Let's take a little break from wrestling now, give y'all a little breather. Do any of you people actually use a hankerchief???? Isn't that the stupidest goddam idea ever invented by man???? It's such a funked up idea...it's..it's...it's...INCONCEIVABLE!!! Picture this folks, someone takes a hanky outta there pockets, blows there nose in it...with every snotty piece in there, then they STUFF it back INTO their goddam pockets...then, a few hours later, when everythings crusted over, they take the damn thing out again and blow into it...WITH the old stuff still on the hanky...whatta hell is up with that???? Is there anything on god's green earth more disgusting then that???? What happens if you smear the leftovers back onto your face???? and where the hell are you supposed to wash that damn thing???? with the rest of your clothes???? with your dirty underwear????? Foddam people, buy some tissues and chuck the hanky out...ya sick bastards.
OK, back to wrestling. Man, I must admit, Debra McMichael sure is pretty goddam easy on the eyes. I mean, she is F'N hotter than an Indians bike(y'know, with hot as in stolen??? get it???) Since she's arrived in the WWF, I'd rather see Debra than I wanna see Sable. I mean, Sable' kinda hit overexposure...and some of the things she says is just so stupid...like when she said that women shouldn't use their body to get ahead in wrestling...buddy, this is wrestling, a show that's geared toward males. I like Sable' little workout video they had on RAW IS WAR the other day...a more appropriate name would have been "How many times can we get a back shot of Sable bending over" or "Just how jiggly is Sable??" ...yeah Sable, you ain't using your body to get ahead...I mean, just admit it, that's the only reason your employed. I've heard from a Jeff Jarrett interview that he thinks Debra has NO clue as to the wrestling business....so why do you think she got her job???? Debra might not have a clue, but she knows why the paychecks coming in. I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of this happening in REAL life, but in wrestling, well, that's the role of the women in wrestling, so if they don't like it, hey, get a job.
Speaking of women in wrestling, I said it before and I'll say it again...goddam, The Women's Belt is a joke. This is possibly the only belt where the Lightheavy Weight means more. Like I said, Sable is onve again the top contender for Jacky's belt...come to think of it Sable is the only goddam contender for that piece of horse shit. Y'know, the only thing that belt is good for... is for me to poop on. It's so damn pathetic...I can't believe that Vince would be so damn stupid to start the women's division back up. So, if Sable wins the belt, who's she gonna feud against???? My guess would be Jacky...but then again, Jacky would also make a good opponent. Although, you have to think that Jacky could be the wild card and wind up as the number one contender, taking over that spot from Jacky. I also like the way women's wrestling is circa 1998, Attitude style, it basically consists of Sable flinging Jacky around by her hair and then pulling a few kicks. THAT's what I call wrestling....sigh...
Well, Survivor Series is fast approaching...I won't get it ofcourse, on account of my cheapness. I'm not all that interested in this one to tell you the truth anyways. I mean, I'm interested to see who the NEW WWF champ is gonna be, but since when was a tournament a Survivor Series???? Hello, A Survivor Series is supposed to consist of several teams dueling it out to see who the last man standing is...this tournament is totally off the usual format that I've grown to love. I'm sure it's gonna be an entertaining PPV, but it shouldn't be in the Survivor Series, that kinda event only happens once a year...if you ask me, I'd rather see the tournament happen at a normal PPV...like an In Your House or something. Well, anyways, here's what I think will happen. The Undertaker will take the belt (probably with a little interference) at the tournament... which would set up the next few PPV's with The UT going defending against Kane or The Rock. Anyways, come Royal Rumble time, Steve Austin will win the belt at the Rumble, while The Rock wins the actualy Rumble. Then, look for The Rock to take the belt at Wrestlemania XV(That's 15, you retards). Think about it, who else in this tournament could set up so many future PPVs???? This isn't a guess...it's a GODDAM PREDICTION!!!!!!!! Yes, I make predictions....now why the hell hasn't any radio station called to ask me to do a show???? What kinda bullshit is this????? You'll notice that I've been on the net for a few years now, so I deserve the recognition that every other low budget sites get...and you can ask THE UNPREDICTABLE JOHNNY RODZ about that. By the way, The MOP-UP is the KING of Internet articles...makes my Views look like something left over from the runs. If the Undertaker dosen't win, then....may God strike down upon ALL my readers without mercy. See folks, I'm so sure that I'm right, that I'm willing to gamble with all your puny, pointless lives...how's that for confidence people???
Speaking of runs, how much do ya wanna bet that Eric Bischoff SHITS a house everythime he sees the rating???? RAW has been cleaning the dance floor against Nitro lately...and they aren't close victories either, they are by a fairly wide margin. Now, when you consider that Eric Bischoff can easily be fired from WCW by Ted Turner...gotta make you wonder how much longer Bitchoff' shitty leadership will last. I've never placed too much emphasis on the ratings ofcourse, but a company like WCW probably will, since they are owned by a TV company, which means that ratings is next to everything. I'm really not surprised that there getting pasted though. I just cannot bring myself to sit through a whole installment of Nitro. Up here in Canada, RAW is one mondays and Nitro gets put to Wednesdays...and it gets cut down to two hours instead the three hours it actually is. Well, you'd think that I'd get the best of both worlds, I could watch RAW on monday and Nitro on wednesday...well, I don't . I can't stand watching even a half hour of Nitro...let alone two hours. I don't know hoe Americans can sit through that garbage for THREE WHOLE GODDAM MUTHA^%$* hours...it's just too much. I might actually like it a little more...if it didn't more me to goddam tears. There's too many pointless interviews...most of which have Hollywood Hogan or Eric Bischoff involved. There's too many shitty jobber matches...which Goldberg is no starnger to. There's too much Luger on everyweek. The WolfPac and The NWO are almost always in the main event, which always ends in a screw job ending. There's too many people who suck shit on Nitro...namely The Warrior and DDP. I mean, I can handle a little bit of the shits they put on...but after awhile, it's just too damn much. Nitro also has a habit of putting commercials at the faggyiest times. It seems like there are more commercials than actual show. I think just this past week, there was a segment where it went commercials, they come back to Nitro. Then Tony "I'm such a clueless asshole, it's not even funmy" Schiavone did a little bit of hyping for the night, they then show a clip from before the commercial(like we forget what happened 5 minutes ago), then they show a Lex "Goddam, useless piece of shit" Luger promo, then like 30 seconds of Konnans rap, then we hear Tony go "Fans, we'll be right back after these messages"....whatta hell just happened here...5 minutes after they get back from commercials, they take some more???? I realize that they need the advertising money...but c'mon....what is this shit???? I don't notice this sorta shit as much on RAW...maybe they do it too??? but they seem to make it more smooth...and not nearly as often. If anyone can really consider this garbage entertaining, then they need to be beaten....and NOT the PeeWee Herman/George Michael type of BEATING(if ya smell what I'm cookin), but a beating with a stick type.
Speaking of Hogan, what the hell is the guys problem??? He sees that Jesse Ventura wins his Governor elections, so he decides that he wants to run for President in the year 2000??? Now I realize that Bill Clinton is a country hick, but gimme a break. Hogan wants to run for President??? You might be able to get one state to not give a damn who wins, but I assure, when it comes to the whole country, America will see that a wrestler as President is the dumbest idea possible. If Hogan does manage to win the elections in 2000, I will personally loot The Canadian Museum of Armaments and steal a musket. I will then cross over into the United States and single handly take over the goddam country.
I'd like to take this opportunity for a FREE plug here. If your ever writing an essay, and you have no goddam idea, then I cannot stress enough the virtue and values of cheating. Please, by all means, cheat and take what you can...what are the chances that the prof will find out??? With a little bit of restructuring, maybe changing a bit here and there, your golden. To show you how much of a pal I am to my little netizens, here's a rather decent site of essays...not just english essays too, but science and math and other stuff. Check it out at House of Cheats...you won't regret it...I know I didn't.
Oh, I was skimming around the net and unfortunately, I came across Bret Hart's weekly column for the Calgary Sun. Y'know, I was REALLY trying to like Bret again...I just couldn't help it, I was starting to miss the guy and I really wanted to like him again...then he pulls off this shit. Here is the article, with the italics being my personal comments.
Saturday, November 7, 1998
Straight from the Hart
By BRET HART -- For The Calgary Sun
It can take 20 years to build a reputation,
but only five minutes to destroy it.No Bret, it takes a year of you whining and crying to completely destroy the reputation you ONCE had...key in on ONCE
A deep truth is what you want. Not a
shallow truth. You want a position worth
defending, to the end.eh, whatever
I want to apologize for the radical tone in
my most recent columns. I'm having to
deal with being a bad guy on TV, just like
everyone else. Well, that's on TV and I
promise to maintain a more intelligent
overall view of what my character does
on Nitro or anywhere else. I suppose if it
means anything to my fans who can't
understand what happened to Bret 'Hitman'
Hart, the hero, I don't really know the
answer to that myself.What happened was you turned into a shell of what you once were, both in wrestling ability and in personality
As good a place as any to look for that answer is in the soon-to-be-released
documentary, Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows, premiering in Calgary this
Thursday at the IMAX theatre and airing on A&E in December. I allowed a
documentary crew to come into my world and give, for once, an up close and
honest look at what wrestling is really like. To see my life and love from a
professional as well as family standpoint.
What is this film about?
Well, I think it's definitely not a film just for wrestling fans. It's a story about
standing up for what you believe and not selling out your love for your fans,
fellow wrestlers, and the profession itself. It's about right and wrong, heroes and
villains, winning and losing.
Wrestling is my life. I can honestly say that I tried very hard to be a great hero, a
role model. Despite having turned down millions of dollars to stay loyal to Vince
McMahon, he set out to destroy me.Set out to destroy you???...no, he set out to maintain the credibility of HIS company and to maintain the credibility of the WWF belt.
I stood up for myself, as I had every right to do, but a cold-blooded, ruthless
McMahon was going to see that I was torn down no matter what, to humiliate me
in my home country.Cold-blooded, ruthless??? Gee, isn't that more words used to describe Hitler???? Get over it. Since when was it such a crime to lose in your home country??? If that's the case, I DEMAND that Steve Austin NEVER lose another match in America...come to think of it, I seriously doubt that Bret Hart even goes to Montreal all that much anyways...by the way, when was the last time WCW allowed you to wrestle in your OWN country???? It turned out that there is one good side to all that. Usually
when the big guy steps on the little guy strictly for the sake of it, no one is there to
catch it. Well, not this time. This time, the real bad guy was exposed for what he
is.Yes, you were exposed as an idiot who cries like a new born baby. In this film, you clearly see what a liar and cheater McMahon was and how I
did all that I could do to stay honest and keep my integrity, for my fans and for
myself.All I saw was a guy who refused to do the right thing for the COMPANY THAT FREAKING MADE HIM!!!!!!
No, money was not a factor, my character was.Yeah right, can you say CA-CHING$$$$$$$ I never sold out and whether
McMahon realizes it or not, I did walk out with my head held high and my
conscience clear.Yes you did...I especially liked it when you threw your temper tantrum on live TV and trashed the WWF TV sets...boy, I'm sure people respected that
In the WWF these days, Vince McMahon pretends to be an evil promoter, which
isn't much of a stretch.Maybe it's just me being naive, but I always thought that McMahon looks like a pretty nice guy Now he regularly lets the wrestlers thump him. Well, that's
pretend. But after he betrayed me in Montreal and I knocked him out in the
dressing room, well, that was real. I love how, in the film, you see this big liar
being helped out of the dressing room because he wasn't able to crawl out on his
own.Well, considering that McMahon is 52 years old and wasn't expecting a fight...aw, screw it...this is the kind of hero that we kids all love, when something dosen't go your way, don't walk away, punch someone out, it's the right thing to do...your a GREAT role model Bret...hey, can I punch you out the next time I see you????
In this film, you'll hear Vince tell me how he appreciated everything I did for him
and how I could do anything I wanted for my match in Montreal. It was going to be
a disqualification.
McMahon lied. I taped it. It's in the film.Gee, is that the kind of person you are??? You tape all your conversations...hey, didn't someone else do that...lemme see, the name was...Linda Tripp I do believe...and y'all know how everyone loves Linda. I've also heard that the tape may have actually been doctored...that maybe Vince never said those words, but Bret took them from an earlier conversation...eh, whatever the case, if I was Vince I would have outright told Bret, your losing, end of discussion.
You'll see Shawn Michaels lie and squirm like the chicken---- that he is ... so I
wouldn't beat him up in the dressing room -- again. Same with Hunter Helmsley.Yeah, if I remember right, Shawn said a comment about Bret and Sunny having "Sunny days"...and now, Bret' divorced...put what you want into that. Once again, Bret resorts to violence..whatta role model kids. If you have a disagreement with someone today, don't talk it through, kick their ass.
Actually, they both did a whole lot of swearing to God that day about their
innocence. So did referee Earl Hebner, Pat Patterson, and others. But I suspect the
God I believe in will pay them all a visit one of these days. He's visited a few of
them already.Oh my God, whatta lame assed bastard. Like God really gives two shits about what happens in the world of wrestling...gimme a break. Instead of actually curing world hunger, poverty, disease and war, he'll screw over a handful of guys because Bret wants him to...yeah ok. Y'know, let's just say God was watching what happened that day...I seriously doubt that he would pay them a visit. I'm guessing that what Bret "Cowhumper" means is when Earl Hebner had that brain anneurism...and F'N almost DIED!!!!! Bret, from what I know, God won't try to kill someone cause you want him to...the only god I can think of who'd do that would be the F'N devil...now is that who you worship????? Y'know, it's pretty stupid. Dying compared to losing a goddam belt...yeah, I can see how there at about the same level...you are such a loser Bret.
I can hear some of you saying, "Wow, Bret Hart, you really take wrestling so
seriously. I mean, it's just pro wrestling." Maybe I'm guilty of taking it too
seriously, but, the sad thing is, it was my whole life. It always has been.You do take it too seriously man It haunts
me and I'll probably never really get over what happened that day. Since then, I've
felt my soul turn into steel and my sense of humanity went completely down the
drain.Whoa, you HAVE a soul????
I cringe at the sleazy format of today's WWF -- stripper matches, and Steve
Austin holding McMahon hostage with a gun to his head.Yeah, and it's not too sleazy to have The Nitro Girls either. Lemme use the words I read from someone posting in a newsgroup. The Nitro Girls only talents are to shake their asses, jiggle their tittes and spread their legs. Austin holding a gun, how's about Eric Bischoff and the NWO punking DDP while his wife Kimberly was being held back by a buncha the NWO...y;know, that angle made me more uncomfortable than anything the WWF has done...I was just waiting for the NWO to start gang raping her. When I'm in the toy store
with my son, BladeWho's a geek by the way, I see WWF action figures with the word 'attitude' emblazoned
on them. I should have hit him a few more times.I'm sure if that happened, he'd a realized he was in a fight and kicked your faggy ass.
In the film, you'll see me in the ring after he double-crossed me in Montreal.
I felt so sad looking at the faces of my fans. I let them down. I let Canada downNo, you didn't let Canada down by losing, you let us down by showing the ENITRE world what kinda person you really are. I
almost cried. I'm still haunted by the sad faces looking back at me and I still feel
my heart breaking and falling into a million pieces. It was all real.
At the end of the film, I hear my own voice saying how Bret Hart came home and
he's fine but what they did is murder the Hitman character. A year has gone by and
I've come to the conclusion that maybe it's completely the opposite. The Hitman is
alive and kicking as a bad guy in WCW. And Bret Hart? Well, he's lost a lot of
things over the past year. Things that I'll never get back. Maybe with the release of
Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows, the truth will finally set me free and I can
go on with my life.
This film is my vindication and my liberation.
Well folks, is that pathetic or what?????....stupid bastard Bret, get over it you dumb putz. It's been a goddam year, just stay in your own goddam federation, continue being a mid-carder and shut the hell up. I try and try to like you, but then you show how much of a bitter, whiny asshole you are. I wonder if it's coincidence that wherever you are, the ratings are down. Notice that when Bret was in the WWF, RAW was regularly getting pounded in the ratings by Nitro. Then when Bret arrives at Nitro, RAW starts pulling in the victories. I think that says something about how much pull Bret has with the fans nowadays...Shawn Michaels on the other hand is a guaranteed ratings winna.
Y'know, Bret always like to bring up how he thinks Owen Hart is in the minor leagues, how Owen Hart hates the WWF, how Owen should leave the WWF. Well, y'know, if the WWF is the minor leagues and their regularly whumping WCW in the ratings, then what the hell is WCW???? A bush league??? Outta some guys back
yard??? Owen hates the WWF??? Then I'm sure he'd love WCW huh??? Just ask The Bulldog and The Anvil...wait, hold on a sec....I think The Bulldog and The Anvil have already left WCW. Yeah, that's right, after less than a year in WCW, it looks like the Bulldog may be reentering The WWF. If WCW is so great, why's Bulldog leaving???? Is it because The WWF was maybe not that bad, maybe The WWF actually gives it's wrestlers a chance, instead of just using the guys who polish Bischoff' apple(if ya smell what I'm cookin')????? Really, I haven't seen any evidence that Owen wants to leave, he seem s happy...the only person who says that Owen should leave is Bret...why, so that Bret can have someone in his shadows again????
Speaking of Owen, I have another bold PREDICTION!!! Look for the Bulldog to make his way back into The WWF. He'll then reform a new version of The Hart Foundation with Owen Hart as the leader. The Blue Blazer will also end up in the Foundation...with maybe Steve Blackman filling out the group. Since Blackman used to compete in Stampede Wrestling with Owen Hart, ya never know....I think it'd be cool anyways.
