Well, how to start this month....., oh, I was watching an old school wrestling tape the other day, I believe it was Survivor Series 1990. To all those people who seem to think that the WWF is weaker and sucks without there top guys of old, well, I really thought that the old wrestling was pretty bad compared to todays stuff. I mean, I saw Demolition again and they looked a little worse then I remembered them. In my mind, I always remembered them as cool, but in this tape, Ax had weird hair and looked really pale and Crush looked pathetic. This Survivor Series also marked the first time that The Undertaker first appeared in the WWF, let me just say, he looked funny as hell. He had short hair and a cheap hat that flattened his hair around his head. On the whole, this old event was pretty sad compared to the newer stuff. The only thing that I liked about it was it's format, two teams of four each and the surviving members of each team would then go into a final match. That was cool, the modern Survivor Series format is not as good as the old one. Now it's not always even team matches and there not always teams of four. There is another thing from old that I really liked seeing again, and that was to see the Warlord in action again, I wonder what ever happened to him, he was huge, he was awesome, wonder what ever happened to him??
On to modern stuff, it's about damn time that Rocky lost the damn belt. I mean during the last couple of weeks, I thought he looked OK, but he's still not championship material just yet. Although, perhaps Maivia never really had any true competition for the belt (with Mark Mero injured and HHH in a old and boring feud with Goldust) Maivia pretty much got stuck with nobodies. I mean he had to face The Sultan (Who I like, but don't think he's championship material) and Savio "I used to be a jobber" Vega. It's also good to see Owen win the IC belt and bring another one into the Hart Foundation, that has got to be the strongest Stable going in awhile, for sure it's better than the 4 Horsemen. Now that Pillman and Neidhart are in the Foundation, Austin dosen't stand a chance, unless ofcourse he teams up with someone, possibly that queer Shawn Michaels, unless ofcourse HBK loses his smile or "injures" his knee or his ears or his ass or something. Yep, I really hate HBK and when RAW IS WAR comes to my city on July 7th, I plan to have posters ripping HBK and his I-don't-wanna-job-to-Bret injury.
What's with Vince's dumbass idea for Honky Tonk Man's protege???? I mean c'mon, gimme a break, ROCKABILLY??????, we wait like two months to see who the protege is, all these rumours of him being Rick Rude(ECW), Disco Inferno(Formerly from WCW) and Brian Christopher(USWA) and Vince gives us a recycled Billy Gunn??? Jesus H.Christ, it's so sad, I don't even want to mention it anymore, except for this, for a "new" guy, he's already lost more then he won.
Here's a VERY interesting thing that I heard, Sunny, Sable, Marlena and Chyna are going to be in a Lingerie match in an upcoming event in Anaheim, California. If this is true, it's gonna be one hell of a match, I'd love to be able to see this. I wonder how it works??, is it like they come in fully clothed and see who can rip the clothes off others till there just in Lingerie or is it like an actual wrestling match in lingerie?? Man, I'd love to see that.
Well, that's it for now, but since it's only like the 4th of May, I'll probably update this section soon.
(Updated May 10, 1997)
I want to take some room up here to comment on one of the females in the WWF, the female I am going to write about is Chyna, Hunter Hurst Helmsleys' bodyguard. I'm not going to discuss any actions that she's done, instead I will write about how she's been treated by most people. When I read this, I felt pretty bad for Chyna, I was reading a wrestling newsletter the other day and I saw that at a recent house show, the fans were chanting "CHYNA'S GOT BALLS!!!". I mean, that's harsh having a whole arena chant that, that'd be like, a whole arena picking one guy and chanting "HE'S A FAG". Now, I realise that Chyna is kinda butt ugly compared to the other female valets in the WWF, but I mean c'mon, no chick likes to be compared to a guy and told that she has balls, just like no guy likes to hear that he looks like a chick. Show a little bit of respect here people, it's one thing to yell "You Suck", but it's a low blow to yell that they don't fit into there gender. It's not her fault that she isn't a Sable, Sunny or Marlena and I bet that half the chicks and girlfriends out there don't look like Sable, Sunny, or Marlena. It's not like Chyna has a choice in how she wants to look, has the fans of the WWF really gotten to a point where the only chicks they respect have to have a chest bigger then a wrestlers??? and an awesome bod?? Now, I'm like any guy ofcourse, I do realise that Chyna isn't as good looking as the others, but she has something the others don't have, she's not a useless corner stump, she can actually get involved in a match and beat people up. I was really surprised that that toilet bug Todd Pettengail insulted Chyna during the slammies. Here she is all dressed up and stuff, and then haveing to hear Todd sing to the whole damn audience "Hunter and Chyna...which one of you has got the willie", y'know, Todd, I wouldn't talk, I've often thought that you my friend, act like a F'N queer, yeah, you heard me, a Tuity-Fruity, a backpacker, a back door delivery man, an all round gay homo. Now, I'm not saying that people should start drooling over Chyna, but what I am saying is that if I ever see her at an event, I'll simply chant stuff like that will insult her as a wrestling point of view and not something that she has no real control over. A simple "You Suck" will do just fine.
There's been a rumour going around that says that Kevin Nash gave WcW his two month notice and will possibly leave WcW by June. I would just like to tell all the people out there, don't put too much into this weak rumour. My advice, only believe this when Kevin Nash is in a WWF ring and is wrestling a WWF wrestler, until then, I seriously doubt that he is going to leave. Sure he may not be happy with the way the older guys are holding the belts in the WcW, but all Bitchoff has to do is flash a little cash and boom, he's back in the fold. Money talks people, loyalty and personal feelings count very little, except for maybe Bret Hart.
(Updated May 18, 1997)
Lex Luger is without a doubt, the most overrated S.O.B. in the entire wrestling business. I have always thought that he never deserved any of the pushes he got in the WWF, though he never held a title there which is good. I hated this guy with a passion, him and his all american image. This guy is a weight lifter, not a wrestler, this guy is so full of himself. What I find really stupid is that during his stay in the WWF, when he was facing a jobber, all he'd do is flex, and the jobber would fall backwards like he just ran into a wall. Gimme a break Lex, no one gives a rats ass how strong you are because all you ever do is fight jobbers and get injured. I like the promo WCW has for Lex, they show him with his long golden locks all down, what's he trying to look like, F'N tarzan?? Big deal he's built, his Rebel Rack finisher is a joke, I've put it on my little brother before, and he was laughing. I hate looking at Lex Luger almost as much as I hate that queer Shawn Michaels. This guy is way overrated, in my mind, he shouldn't have a title shot at Hollywood Hogan, cause there's no way in hell Bitchoff is gonna give the title to a no charisma prick like Luger. If Luger wins, it will be like the Rocky Maivia IC belt thing, there's so many other guys in WCW who deserve the belt then Luger. The Giant, Sting, Kevin Nash, and even Chris Benoit could whip the ass of Luger anyday and have Hogan for dessert too.
Speaking of Hogan, when the hell are you gonna defend that goddam title again??? What is with Bitchoff, he has had so many PPV's with Hogan as champ, but Hogan almost never defends it, actually, Hogan is a terrible choice for champ, he's too damn busy making shitty movies to wrestle. Bicthoff should have Hogan lose the belt and then phase him out of the title scene. Another title that has dropped off the face of the world is The Outsiders tag title....DEFEND THE DAMN THING ONCE IN AWHILE ALREADY!!!!!!! and Sting, you are probably the best thing that WCW has, but you do dick all for several months, I don't even care what the hell you do anymore. You never say anything, you sometimes come and kick peoples asses, then you disappear again, DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE ALREADY!!!!! I think that Bitchoff has no idea what to do with his wrestlers, so he's just dragging it on and hoping he comes up with something good with dreaming, by the time Sting does something, no one will remember who he is even cause no one will care.
