Ahhhhhh, the jobber, where would wrestling be without him???? We all know who the jobber is, he's the guy that always gets his arse kicked in and out, and then the next week, signs up to get his assed kicked again. He is the guy with a bad tan, none or cheap entrance music, and cheap looking clothes. I have compiled a list of people, who I think will never amount to much else, other than the Jobber. This is no peticular order, these guys all suck evenly. If there is someone who you think should be here, tell me and if I agree, he'll be up. Oh, these guys have so few fans, it's tough getting their pictures, so if you have a picture of a guy that I have up, please mail it to me.([email protected]) Additional commentary was done on this page by my special guest writer Cold as Stone Pete(Editor of the Wrestling News Today). It took a lot of arm twisting to get this special celebrity to guest write, so I hope you enjoy.
The dictionary meaning of "Jobber" from The Official Wrestling Terminolgy Handbook.
jobber n. an unpushed wrestler who does jobs for pushed wrestlers.
Barry Horowitz is probably the best known of these. Sometimes known as
fish, redshirts PLs (professional losers,) or 'ham-and-eggers.' Steve
Lombardi (Brooklyn Brawler) is also a well known jobber.
Savio Vega(aka Kwang, aka Caribean Kid), sure, this guy's beaten a couple of guys, but that was when he first came into the federation. Then he was with the NoD,he might win one match outta ten, the other nine are DQ's. Savio, your a joke, out of all the gangs out there, your "Los Bajobbers" are the shittest one, you've formed the only jobber gang in wrestling history. Bottom line is, your still a jobber with no finishing move.
Then there is Bob "Spark Plug" Holly(aka Thurman "Sparky" Plug), he is the King of Jobbers, this guy is pathetic, with a pathetic song. When he is on, I go to the can and take a shit for five minutes, I know who'll win. This guy has been on his back so many times it ain't funny. He sees a chiropractor because his back has taken so much shock from the ref slamming his hand on the mat for the three count, because as we all know, Bob is always on his back when the three count is done.
Next we come to Aldo "The Portugese Man of War" Montoya, what the hell is with that jockstrap that he wears on his head???, my advice to him is McDonald's is always looking for workers. Where the hell did Vince get this guy?? I mean, C'mon, I'd rather see Teckno Team 2000(a so called Tag team, who ya trying to kid, these guys are fags.) before I see Montoya. Has this guy ever heard the three count in his favor??? As you can see, We couldn't even find a good picture of this loser. It was Just Incredible luck even finding a picture with him in it.
Aldo's all too familiar position... getting the kicked outta him!
Now, we have Barry Horowitz... this guy has been a jobber for so long it's not even funny!
I've seen this guy since I first started to watch the WWF (about 8 years ago)! After he beat
Skip, this guy thinks he's hot stuff. For all I know, the only reason Barry pats himself on the
back is because its probably been the proudest moment or he's just used to spankin' himself... Oh
by the way, the only guaranteed way Horowitz can win is if his opponent is doing push ups! Gone from the WWF also. TOO SWEEEEEEET!!!!
Next we come to Skip(aka Chris Candido), this guy is obviously a jobber for the simple reason that he lost to Horowitz, HOROWITZ!!!!!, no one loses to Horowitz, Horowitz dosen't even know how to pin people because at the start of his matches, he's already getting his ass kick, but he still beat Skip. What were you thinking Skip??? By the way, nice hair. You my friend have no personality and that is why you never made it in the WWF. Luckily for you, in ECW as long as your hardcore, your OK.
Our next guy, is definetely a fan fav., everytime this guy comes out, you know it's going to be an entertaining match, ofcourse I'm talking about none other that FREDDIE JOE FLOYD. Yup, after seeing guys with cool names like Vader, Wildman, Mankind, Undertaker, we get Freddie Joe Floyd, what the hell???, what kinda hick name is that???? I have not really seen much of him in action, as a matter of fact, just twice, and I already know he's going to be stuck in the jobber timewarp, he'll just go from job to job, man, if he wins again, I'll eat shit for a week. Guess I won't have to, since his ass is in another fed or is it feds.
Don't know to much about this guy, other than he is a jobber, ofcourse I'm talking about Alex"The Pug" Porteau. Who the hell are you guy??? I've seen you wrestle once and you got your ass kicked. Buddy, if I wanted to see the Greco style 'rasslin, I'd watch the Olympics. Get some decent tights, not your college day crap. What the hell is a "Pug"???, is that supposed to intimidate people????? Yeah right. Too bad you've been thrown on your ass and outta your dream of being in the WWF.
Another jobber favorite of mine and a newcomer is Pete Lethario. So you got hired to protect pops, huh?! Did you really
think you could fair your game in the WWF? As McMahon would say, "Anything can happen here in the WWF!" and you weren't prepared for it!
But all the crap aside I guess I gotta give you some credit, you did a good job... of doing
I would have to give Petey here a technical merit score of 6.0 for falling off the table after he got power bombed by Sid,
and an artistic score of 5.7 for getting that sweet vertical in Sid's power bomb as well as a tasteful hick outfit! Nice hat Pete!
I truly feel that Petey here's in contention for 1997's Slammy Awards. Oh, one more thing... how's your back? HAHAHAHA!!!
Back in the 'ol days of 'rasslin, this guy was awesome, but now, he sucks eggs. Ofcourse I'm talking about Jake "The Snake" Roberts. When was the last time Jake won???? He's turned into a JTTS(Jobber to the stars). He can beat jobbers, but when it comes to someone with talent, he loses all the time. This guy is sad though, what is he, like 500 yrs. old???? That gut of his can't hel[p him too much, and he's slow as hell. I seriously think that he was way better when he still had his tag partners- Jack Daniels and Jim Bean. They bring out the aggressiveness in him. On this guys resume, it must say "I'm used to canvass burns from being knocked out on the canvas so much." I hear that a day before Vince fired him, this guy stole The Godwinns rental car, whatta class act.
Now, look at these guys! With their cheap tights, Furnas and LaFond make a hell of a jobber tag team. What is sad is that these "Superstars"were really close to winning the tag belts on many occasions. There's something wrong in the WWF tag team ranks if a buncha jobbers are in contention for the tag belts. Hey boys, you wonder why the fans don't like you??? IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY OR HEAT, no one gives a rats ass about you. I'll admit that they do have those fancy-pantcy suplexes of theirs, but who gives a rats ass about fancy stuff when no one cares about what they do???
What can I say, whoever scanned this pic has one shitty piece of crap...cheap bastards...there making it hard for cheap bastards like me to rip off free pictures.
This is a figment of your imagination. Is it Razor or isn't it?? Here we have Razor Ramon, or is it? This jobber is Jim Ross' guy! Look J.R.
I don't know what your tryin' to pull here but getting look alikes just don't cut it. If all you people out there in wrasslin'
land wanna know why the real Razor Ramon left the WWF to go to the WCW and form the lamemo nWo, it was because the guy was caught using the "juice", yes good ol steroids, he gets suspended and ofcourse dosen't want to come back, so who takes his steroid taking ass???? None other than WCW, figures. This guy has been written outta WWF and into nowhere land.
The next guy to rip is Salvatore Sincere or Tom Brandi, whichever you prefer...I prefer JOBBER. You my friend looked like a queer in your pink striped tights and you look like a queer in your new tights too. You've only been in the fed for a while, and already you've been jobbed to high hell, I'd say your wrestling career is over, get a job, like the wheel man for John Gotti...or a pizza delivery job. I'd like to tella all you beautiful people from the bottom of my heart that Salvatore is a jobber
From an Italian to a New Yawker....The awesome, the deadly, the intimidating....BROOKLYN BRAWLER....(A moment of silence to absorb his greatness). Now, I'm sure you all remember this guy, he had a classic feud going on with The Red Rooster(aka Terry Taylor), which dosen't say to much for Rooster if he can't wup this guy the first time. This guy has done it all, he's tried the tag team ranks and gotten rocked, he's tried the single ranks...and we've all seen how that's gone. My advice to him, go back to the mean streets of Crooklyn and make a decent living ya bum.
This next wrestler just goes to show you...not all jobbers deserve to be jobbers. Flask Funk(aka 2 Cold Scorpio) has turned into Flash Flunk...he failed in the WWF....he sure is 2 Cold right now. Obviously not due to a lack of talent, but more like a lack of...a push...and a decent gimmick. The glory days of pimpimg was over in the 70's. I'll admit that Flashy boy here is one of the better flyers in wrestling...but he's in the wrong division, he shouldn't be in the heavyweight, he should be in the lightheavies division...so what if he isn't 215 lbs, Brian Christopher and Scott Putski are defenitely more then 215.
Once again, that cheap bastard with the cheap scanner. When I look at this picture, I sooo see Flash pimpin' those two ho's he's got in the back there...it's coo brotha.
Ahhh, Leif Cassidy(aka Avatar,Shinobi, Al Snow)...what the hell were you thinking when you became a New Rocker with that Marty Jannety??? It's a shame really, maybe if you and Marty stayed as a tag team, you'd give the Headbangers a team that they could actually beat. Not much to say about him...other then WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THIS PIC????? What kinda weird jump or stance is that???
Now, the man from the MIDDLE EAST...he's so tough, he had his toungue hacked off in his home country. Good god the Sultan(aka Fatu, Make a Difference Fatu) is terrible. The only thing going for him is his music...and his entrnce video...gotta love the little camels in the background. I remember in one match, The Sultan had a goddam wrist-watch on...and he even looked at it midway through the match....I guess he checked if it was time for him to lose yet. A while back, The Patriot had a match with the Sultan and he was actually stupid enough to say "I hear you're UNBEATEN here in the WWF"...uh yeah, he's only been jobbed to just about everyone in the WWF...maybe The Patriot meant unbeaten losing record. The only difference The Sultan makes is in his opponents Win-Loss records.
My list of Jobbers
