You guessed it, another high profile death. Another wrestler has died. Louie Spicolli, whose real name is Louie Mucciodo dies during the month of February, 1998. He was only 27. Kinda tragic...but from what I've heard,(and remember, it ain't comfirmed yet) it was a drug related death. No comment here...but, I wish the family and friends well.
Hey there people...it is I, Captain Vegetable, with my Carrot, and my Celery. Hooray for me Captain Vegetable..Crunch Crunch Crunch!!!!!!(anyone remember that guy from Seasame Street????)....No, your the loser.
OK, enough of the what the hell??? for now...and onto a sport we call wrestling...while the outside world considers it a playground of homos and diphead fans. "Oh, You Didn't Know???? Your Ass Better Call Somebody"So, who out there thinks that the New Age Outlaws kick ass???? I personally love these guys(not in that way...you pricks) I remember just a few months ago, Road Dog and Billy Gunn were stuck in these pointless characters that no one really gave a damn about. Gunn was Rockabilly, and The Road Dog was Jesse James(the face). Now, put these two guys together, give RoadDog a mic, and watch em go. I'll admit at first I thought that these two guys were just gonna form another jobber tag team(a team that the Headbangers could beat), but look at em now...there the damned TAG TEAM CHAMPS!!!!!!! Although, there matches usually have them as jobbers...they basically get beaten up like a jobber, but they still win...with cheating. I think that's hilarious. They are the tag team champs, but they still haven't won a match without cheating yet. There too damn cool. I also love there entrance music...I guess I'm kinda a mark for entrance music. Now, I know that they can't hold the tag straps forever, but I plan on enjoying them with the belts for as long as possible. I thought it was hilarious the way they dumped Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie(???how lame of a name) off that little runway thing.
Speaking of Cactus Jack, recently I had the oppotunity to see the man in a Death Match Tournament, I think it was in like 1985 or something...no, actually it must have been 1995...there goes the ol' memory. Anywhoo, like the year really matters. The main thing was that it was a tournament like none I've ever seen before. The matches had gimmicks like bed of nails, barb wire covered baseball bat(not like the wimpy little one coil used in the WWF, this bat was actually covered with the wire)...thumbtacks. The final match was between Terry Funk and Cactus Jack...and it was the bloodiest thing I've ever seen...and people thought Shawn Michaels bled during his Hell in the Cell match. Anywhoo, back to the final in the tournament. It was a barb wire rope, barb wire barricade with a C4 explosive. Now, ofcourse I realize that the C4 is mostly just for show, but it did look like it burnt Terry Funk a little...since at the end of the match, the skin on his arms looked a little burnt, some of it was peeling off...nasty stuff. Cactus Jack won the tournament, but man did he have to work for it. In the end of the match, his whole F'N faced with a deep crimson red...it looked like a mask of blood...and when he put his face down on the canvas, it left a little puddle of blood. After watching this match, I've got a really higher respect for Cactus Jack and what the man can do. If anyone's interested in seeing a copy, just mail me(ofcourse you'll have to pay me S+H(that's shipping and handling, not S&M...ya sick faggots) and the price of the tape, you cheap bastards).
Now that I've had a month or so to get over the Bret Hart thing, I wanna get air out what I truly think of the man...now that my anger at his bailing out is mostly gone. I still think that he's a prick to the tenth power. He's such an unbelievable idiot. Gee, how's he doing in WCW...wait, I forgot...no one even knows he's there anymore...no one also knows that the Bulldog or Crush(Bryan Adams...waitaminute...BRIAN ADAMS????? DAMN YOU BITCHOFF, You've just signed a world known singer...wait...it's Bryan Adams the no talent stiff of a wrestler, not Brian Adams, the no talent singer). Anywhoo, back to Bret. Did this man really think that Vince would let him leave the federation as the Champ???? Whatta putz...beyond belief. Bret's saying that he wanted to HAND the belt over...leave ina dignified way...gee, Bret, it's dignified for you, but what does it make Vince and the rest of the WWF look like???? Try like a buncha goddam idiots, you faggot Bret(must stay calm, can't let anger resurface...must push down into the deepest corner of soul...then let all the anger out when everyone least suspects it) I read somewhere that Bret said his ten year old geeky son "wanted" to write a letter to Vince asking Vince "Why did you fire my daddy"...yeah right, I'm sure the little dork of a kid really "decided" he wanted to write that letter...in no way did Bret TELL his kid to write it...hey Bret, Grow tha hell up ya faggots prick.
Ok, I told someone that I would do this, and I'm a man of my words...but don't expect this every month. I will...... now spend.........a whole little bit writing about.........(sob) ...this is hard, but I'll be OK. I will write about WHAT I LIKE ABOUT WCW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This took me a lot of time to think about...I really had to look deep into myself to find anything at all. I don't really like any one thing in the WCW...I hate the announcers, I don't really like any of there angles...what I guess I like the most are the individual wrestlers. I'll run off a list and try to say why I like them. First one is Chris Benoit...isn't he the favorite of everyone???? This man is one intense little mutha. He truly makes his wrestling look as real as possible. Another guy I really is Buff Bagwell. This guy is hilarious. I love every match he's in and I love every word he says....and he wrestles pretty good too. Buff Bagwell always manages to crack me up. Another wrestler that I really like but isn't getting much of a push is Mortis. Mortis has THE coolest sounding entrance music in all of WCW. He's also capable of doing some fairly impressive moves that I have never seen before. I once saw him do a cool looking springboard suplex from the outside of the ring to the inside...that looked cool. I just wish Mortis got the push that he deserves...I mean he's infinitely more talented then that faggot screwup Lex Loser...and he's also way more talented then Bill Goldberg...but I guess he isn't willing to give Eric Bischoff his weekly lapdance, so Bitchoff isn't willing to give him the push he deserves.(Note, I don't have any proof of Bischoff being gay...but that's what I've heard from numerous, reliable internet resouces...ie, I made it up...the most reliable source on the net). Hold on, another thing that I love about WCW is that, the KING FAGGOT HIMSELF, SYXX ain't on no more...at least for now....and Nitro also gives me lots of time on Mondays to wax my back(if I did wax my back that is).
Speaking of that lame assed excuse for a human:Lex Luger, I'd like to thank each and everyone of you people who mailed me and wrote how much you hated Lex Luger. Thank you for spending the time...hold on a second...I got a grand total of ZERO GODDAM RESPONSES!!!!!!!!!!!! You damn bastards, to hell with you all. Obviously, your all a buncha Lex Luger fans...and if you are a Luger fan, get the hell outta my site, I don't want you here. Seriously here folks, does it really take that much time to write a quick e mail to [email protected]????? just say Hi mang, Lex is a lesbian...that'll be good enough for me...just to know I'm not alone. Hell, you can even write whatever else you wanna, you can insult me and my page...call me a dumbass if you must...I'll live...and I'll reply with a vengence with the likes ye have never seen afor... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! EVIL!!!!!!!!!(by the way, for you guys who just pissed your pants, I was only joking)
Later people...and in the mean time...SEND ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!<
