The Summerslam of Stipulations has come and gone...I for one think that it was probably one of the better ones...ofcourse I know there are some out there in computer land who think that every PPV sucks. It was nice to see all the matches go without any interference to screw the outcome up. Basically, it all moved along pretty nicely, no big surprises or anything. None of the internet rumours of Shawn Michaels joining the Hart Foundation, thus aiding Bret Hart in his victory over Undertaker and no sight of Kane...actually, I was kinding hoping that Shawn Michaels would join the Hart Foundation...could you imagine how powerful the foundation would be if they had Michaels???
I won't bother telling you the outcome, since everyone already knows it. Instead, I'll just comment on anything that was worth commenting on in Summerslam.
The Owen Hart/Steve Austin match was very good, really entertaining. Both guys put on one helluva show...that is until the end. I don't know what happened, but I suspect that Stone Cold got injured after Owen Hart gave him a piledriver. When I was watching it, it looked like Austin's head was sticking out between Owen's legs quite a bit, and as a result, his head and neck took quite a jolt. After the piledriver, I guess Austin told Owen that he was hurt, so, Owen didn't follow up with anything...instead, he spent like 5 minutes telling the crowd that it was time for Austin to "Kiss his ass". Oqen just kept walking around, and he even tried to start a chant of "Canada". He then went back to see Austin, and the ref probably told him that Austin was hurt, so Owen backed off and turned his back to taunt the fans. Austin then crawled over and just TOUCHED Owen's leg...and Owen fell over as if he was hit by a MACK truck. Austin actually covered Owen, with just his arm on Owen's stomach...it was such a sick looking pin. After such a great match, to have it end with a sad pin like that, one that even Aldo Montoya could have gotten out of...it just ruined the match. Now, I'm a big Hart Foundation fan, I would have preferred Owen to keep the belt, but I was prepared to see him lose it, but to lose it like that??? If it was in a situation where Austin was hurt, Owen should just have pinned the guy, instead of having an injured Austin make a gimp pin. I truly do believe that Austin was injured, and that it isn't a work. First off, no one makes a pin look as bad as the one Austin did if there at full health. Another thing was that after he pinned Owen, he needed two refs to help him out(I was waiting for him to puch them away, but it never came), I mean, after Wrestlemania 13 when he bladed, he didn't need help, but he did for this injury. I just hope that Austin makes a speedy recovery...I'd hate to see a high caliber performer like him have to retire.
The LOD/Godwinns match was actually better then I expected...considering the Godwinns were in it...they jobbed big time.
One thing that I found hilarious was during the Ken Shamrock match. After Shamrock put Bulldog to sleep, he started Belly-to-Belly suplexing everone, including Pat Patterson. Anyways, when the camera was panning, they showed Patterson feeling out his ass...I'm serious, the guy had his hand inbetween his crack and he was squeezing. When I saw this, I was laughing my ass off...that was too damn much. So, when you watch Summerslam, check out after Patterson gets slammed...it's TOOOO SWEEEEET!!!!
I also found that the Million Dollar thing was kinda stupid...like there's really a chance of winning the damn cash when there's 100 keys...I guess TeamTitan gets to save a million bucks, hopefully they'll sign someone decent. Still, Sable and Sunny sure looked nice in there getups. Todd Pettingzoo was his usual faggoty self...god I hate that guy. The kid got a big hug from Sable and the guy had Sunny draped all over him. Speaking about the guy, he said that he shaved his head and started a goatee to look like Stone Cold Steve Austin...yeah right, he looked more like the was going to a queer convention after he was done at Summerslam. You could see that him a Pettingzoo were just eyeing each other. This guy looked so dumb, his ears were sticking out so much, when Sunny hugged the guy, his ears blocked her off. This guy was walking so slow because of the wind resistance caused by those wings of his. If the guy is reading this, please don't sue. Still, Sable looked good, so did Sunny too.
OK, now I'd like to comment on other things...like The Patriot vs. Bret Hart. I just wanna know whatta hell Vince was thinking of when he let the Patriot beat Hart on RIW. Now, I haven't seen enough of The Patriot(Only Mexicans wear masks) to know how good of a wrestler he is, but surely he isn't good enough to beat Bret the very first encounter, I know Shawn helped out a bit, but bottom line is, Patriot is 1-0 against Bret. That is sad, it makes Bret look bad to lose against a new comer...100 bucks says that if there wasn't a Canada vs USA angle, Patriot would have gotten wasted in 10 seconds. Now, they have the two meeting up in the next PPV, In Your House...boy that should be some match, a new comer gets a title shot after only a month, while a guy like Bulldog, Owen and Austin have yet to hold the main belt. Bret losing to Patriot, is like Aldo Montoya losing to the Brooklyn Brawler...waitaminute, he probably would lose...change it too Austin losing to Bob Holly.
It seems that HBK has lost all his fans everywhere...he already gets booed like he just said "Heil Hitler" in Canada, but now the US fans hate him too...basically, he's worse off then Bret Hart is, atleast Bret gets cheered in Canada. I see him as a heel now, it's probably the only place left for him to go now...which is a good move on his part.
(Updated August 9, 1997)
Well, now that I've had time to digest all that's happened in the world of wrestling, I thought I would just spout more useless trash. First on the V1 agenda is The Patriot, or I'm really a mexican pretending to be a Texan. This guy is a joke to end all american jokes. Gimme a break, The Patriot gets a title shot against Hart??? Man, there's no way that this match is gonna be main event quality. Hart is gonna carry the match, while Del Wilkes ruins it. Sure, Patriot beat Hart once, but Hart would have won, if not for the ref being knocked out. The Patriot dosen't deserve this title shot, hell, he dosen't even deserve the cheers that he does get from the fans. During his match against the Sultan on RIW, Del Wilkes did a freakin Hulk Hogan adrenalin thing where no punches hurt him...Jesus H. Christ, no one does the adrenalin bit anymore. His finisher, Jesus, what is that lame assed move??? Let's just say my when I flush down shit in the toilet, that's a better finisher. His interviews...holy shiat man, your interviews suck more then an industrial vacuum. Your all talking about how you don't think you really like Bret Hart and all this stuff, cut your interview time in half buddy, cause the more you talk, the stupider you sound and your veins pop out of your chest so much, it looks like even there disgusted by you and want to run away. I predict that Patriot will soon join the ranks in The Jobber Hall of Fame, First Team AllStar Jobber.
I briefly mentioned Shawn Michaels before, now I'd like to write a little more about it. I kinda feel pity for the guy. I mean, he really gets no cheers from any one, he was supposed to be the All American guy. Y'know, I don't expect Canadian fans to like him, but I'd expect American fans to cheer him, if not for just the duration of this USA Vs. Canada feud. During the Hart/Undertaker match at Summerslam, I thought that he called it pretty good, no complaints from me, maybe that last bit where he nailed Undertaker with the chair was his fault, but he was provoked. I'm not saying that I like the guy or that he will ever make it in my top ten, I'm just saying that the USAsswipes(Just joking, I've got nothing against americans, but I just thought this word up and it looked good, y'know, with the USA, and the A in asswipe, huh?? huh?? huh?? yeah.) should show the guy some respect, instead of being so fickle. Well, the IYH:Ground Zero, the true main expect is not Bret Hart Vs. El Patrioto, it is HBK Vs. UT, should be pretty damn good.
There has been some reports that Sycho Sid has been fired by the WWF. I couldn't believe this move by Vinman, he is truly being a McMoron. Sure, Sid is not all that reliable, sure he can't do a real wrestling move, sure his interviews suck and are all the same, but bottom line is, THE FANS LOVE HIM!!!! The arenas went wild when ever he steps out...big freaking whooping deal that most of the so called smart(Just call me Marky Mark) wrestling fans hated his very presence in the ring. These smarts sure as hell don't get fans cheering for them, Sid does. The WWF should not have fired him for whatever reason, there roster is already kinda depleted due to injuries, can they really afford to lose a name like Sid???
Ahhhh, WCW, what shit have you been up to??? Well, Hogan has finally lost the belt, to none other then FLEXY LEXY LOSER!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! and I said Lex Lameo would never hold that belt too!!! Just goes to show you, Lex Luthor sucked rocks in WWF, but in WCW, he's champ. I still hate Lex Lemming is terribly overrated, this guy to me displays no real talent, so he's built...big deal. He sucks. His interviews are stupid and rehearsed and like I said before, his rack sucks, stick to rack of lamb buddy boy. Lex Lumphead is gonna lose that belt the first chance that Eric Bitchoff has. Lex Lugnut....just sickens me, mere mortal words cannot describe my hatred for this brainless fungus.
While on the topic of WCW, I was just wondering this...WHY THE HELL IS MONGO IN THE RING???? The guy can not do any wrestling moves other then punches and kicks and a ripped off Tombstone. He just plain and simple sucks...stick to football guy. Also I wonder why do wrestlers agree to fight Syxx??? The guy is obviously more gay then a Homosexual Rally. Why do they agree to Syxx's "Bronco Buster" Face ride??? Sure, Syxx enjoys it, cause it gets him ready for the backroom action with Bitchoff, Nash and Hall...but c'mon, it's pathetic what he does. It gives new meaning to the expression "TOOOOOO SWEEEEEEEEEEET", I think they need to add in a "SSSSLLLLLLLUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP" That's it for now, check back later for an update.
(Updated August 14, 1997)
If what I have heard will truly come true, then it is a very sad day for any wrestling fan. I am talking ofcourse about the possible retirement of Stone Cold Steve Austin due to that neck injury. It will really be a shame if Austin has to retire, when he is in the prime of his career. The WWF really needs Austin to stay healthy since he is there main draw, in the United States anyways.
I think the WWF should just take a look and see why they have so many injuries. I mean, there main roster is depleted to the point where soon they won't have enough guys to put together a good show. In wrestling ofcourse there will be some injuries, but just take a look at WCW, there main guys are all ok...they must be doing something differently then the WWF. Perhaps Vince should take a look at adding more padding on the mats. I think a big problem goes back to money...Vince does not have enough cash to employ as many quality wrestlers as WCW, so he has to really work the ones that he does have. Take a look, Austin and The Hart Foundation have appeared on at least 99% of RIW during the last 6 months if not more..add that to the many house shows they do in a week...that's one helluva workload. The law of averages says that sooner or later, something is going to happen. Vince should try and find some more talent quickly so that he can give some of his other guys a break everynow and again. I just hope that Austin can just take a couple of weeks, even months off and hopefully recover enough to return to the ring...without Austin, the WWF really has no one else even close to as popular as him...in Canada it's Hart, but Canada dosen't have a big enough population base to make much of a difference.
(Updated August 18, 1997)
This is additional commentary by Peter Medina:
I was watching the tape of "Summer SLAN '97, New York City Jersey" (as jobber Savio Vega put it),
and saw the Bulldog vs. Shamrock match. Now, Pat Patterson... many of you out there might have
picked up on it too, but V1 here says that Patterson was feeling his ass. In my opinion I think
Patterson must of had a bowel movement and knew it so he checked. If you watch carefully the way
his hand feels his ass, it's in a slow movement (with his hand sorta cupped) and then his hand moved away like
as if he felt something disgusting there (a lump of shit?). PATTERSON, better get your functions checked or try some
Depends!!! If a slam like that triggered a bowel movement, who else knows what could happen to you if you were put in say
a sharp shooter... piss your pants?! Heheheh... That's all folks!
