Double Whammy For The Hitman
Bret Hart
Calgary Sun
April 19
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Tomorrow night, the Hitman teams up with Homer Simpson! Hawk and Animal
stalk the Bulldog and Owen. And the Phenom meets the Freak!
It's the WWF In Your House pay-per-view, live from Rochester, N.Y., on
Viewers Choice!
For three weeks leading up to In Your House, I enjoyed wrestling to sold-out
crowds in South Africa and Kuwait. There, as in Canada, wrestling fans still
know the difference between right and wrong. As the expression goes, "While
the cat's away, the mice can play," and Stone Cold and Shawn showed
themselves for the backstabbing rats they really are. They didn't waste any
time bad mouthing me. Well, I'm back.
It's sad but Shawn's not even worth my time anymore. Stone Cold, on the
other hand, will pay for that remark about the epitaph on my gravestone.
That went way beyond the professional boundries of good taste! I don't mind
that Stone Cold manipulated Monsoon into giving him a third match with me at
In Your House tomorrow night, because I would expect that kind of behavior
from Stone Cold. It was Monsoon I was hot at for giving into Stone Cold. But
as soon as I got back from Kuwait, Gorilla explained to me that he's got his
own agenda.
The story goes that Sycho Sid supposedly hurt his back. I'm in total
agreement with Monsoon that we wouldn't put it past Stone Cold and Sid to
concoct a phoney back injury so Stone Cold could have the match with me
tomorrow. I'm the only guy who has proven, twice over, that I can give
Austin the butt kicking he deserves for pulling a stunt like this. The only
thing we haven't figured out is what's in it for Sid?
I'll be watching the Bulldog and Owen's backs when they defend the tag
titles against the Legion of Doom. Hawk and Animal still haven't gotten over
being slopped by the Godwinns because Davey and Owen interfered, and I know
they'll stop at nothing to reclaim the WWF tag belts which they held when
they left the WWF in '92. I don't plan on getting involved but I don't rule
out the possibility, either.
Rocky Miavia defends the intercontinental title against Nation of Domination
member Savio Vega. Savio wants desperately to reclaim the title he held
briefly in '96.
There's no doubt that if Savio wins the gold, he'd rise in the ranks of the
N.O.D.
The Honky Tonk Man has been looking for a protege in the WWF.
Recently he approached Double J, Jesse James, in the ring after a match.
Double J wanted no part of it and smashed Honky's guitar to smithereens.
Honky has been whining that the guitar was a cherished family heirloom but I
find that hard to believe because I'm the person who smashed Honky's
heirloom guitar to bits back in May of '89! Still, Honky claims to be very
upset that Double J destroyed his so-called family treasure and he's got a
mystery man to fight for his revenge.
Just last month at Wrestlemania 13, the Undertaker led his creatures of the
night to his second WWF championship. The next night on RAW, Paul Bearer
begged Undertaker to take him back but the following week, 'Taker realized
that Paul Bearer and Mankind were in cahoots. Mankind appeared from under
the ring and threw a fireball in 'Taker's face! After regaining his sight,
Undertaker left the arena vowing to get revenge. He'll have his chance at In
Your House!
Shawn Michaels isn't on this pay-per-view because he's still looking for his
smile. Shawn's boyhood dream of being WWF champion has turned into his
nightmare. Last Tuesday, during a candid internet interview, Shawn admitted
that he couldn't handle the schedule and responsibilities of being WWF
champion. Shawn said that when he returns -- which will probably be at King
of The Ring, in June -- he only wants to wrestle part time and the rest of
the time he wants to have more of a say in what goes on behind the scenes.
I'm sure that'll go down really well with the rest of the boys in the locker
room who still have to travel a full schedule! Shawn also said he's not
interested in
championship matches anymore because they're too hard on him. Shawn added
that he'd rather wrestle lesser opponents and have "fun" than be in
main-event matches. In other words, Shawn found out the hard way that he's
not as good as he thought he was! Shawn obviously wouldn't want to get in
the ring with me again because that would be anything but fun! I'm actually
disappointed because I'd thought the chapter about The Boy Toy and The
Hitman would've had a more noble ending -- passing the torch and that sort
of thing.
It's too bad Shawn's flame burned out. Pettengill and Co. have been saying,
"the third time is the charm," but I just say I'm going to show Stone Cold
"three strikes, you're out!" at In Your House. At the same time, my cartoon
alter ego will be hitting a Homer on The Simpsons. I've learned to never
underestimate the power of my fans. TV
stations got so many calls from Hitman fans in Calgary who were upset that
they couldn't watch both shows at the same time that "my" Simpsons episode
airs twice Sunday night -- 6:30 p.m. on Calgary 7 and 9 p.m. on Channel 34!
