As I have been in Europe for the majority of the month, I must admit that my MBL time has been limited. Therefore, I'll have little to say about my team, and instead join Nat with some observations on the World 
Cup (Was that Todd I saw on tv hurling Molitov cocktails at peaceful Tunisian tourists in the South of France) and the country of Slovinia that I just visited. 

Slovinia is nestled in between Austria and Northern Italy and is almost entirely an alpine nation. The Slovinians are a slavic people, but through hundreds of years of intermingling with the Austrians and 
Italians are lighter skinned and blonder than the Croats and Serbs. They also have the distinct advantage of not sharing a border with Serbia, and therefore have been successful in their independence. Slovinia is known as one of the cleanest and greenest countries in the world and is known in Europe as a vacation paradise. Ljubjiana, the capital is a small city of about 400,000 people and has a Western flair. The architecture is impressive and intact as there have been few wars there. The country would make an awesome destination for a skiing or golf vacation because the facilities are excellent while the prices are still relatively low compared to the neighboring countries.  

As for the World Cup- after my year in England I do try to watch and appreciate soccer. However, the fact the too many of the teams lay back and play not to lose is frustrating and explains much of the apathy over here. The US team is obviously in disarray. They have made too many changes in the months leading up to the tournament and have paid for them. If you think Nat sounds frustrated for being in Germany, I was around Yugoslavs, Germans, and even one Irani in Slovinia, so I was hearing it from all sides.  

People are always suggesting what to do about soccer to liven in up, induce more scoring chances, and create wider American appeal. Clearly, the game rules the world and probably doesn't have to do anything. However, if you watch a game, you see the flow stopped by dozens of minor fouls, frequent yellow cards (two of which elicit an expulsion), and infrequent red cards (immediate expulsion). Of course, when a player is sent off the chance for goals generally increases as one team has a manpower advantage. If I were in charge, I would adopt a system more like hockey, in which the red cards would remain as is, but yellow card offences would be punishable by 5 minutes in a "penalty box" allowing the other team to temporarily attack. If any of you give a flying fuck about soccer, what do you think? 

Finally, baseball is now truly an international game. Even in tiny Slovinia there was a game of the week. Unfortunately it was on Saturday nights at about 2am, and curiously always seemed to feature games between the Twins and White Sox. You'd think they would at least expose the international audience to some of the superstars.  

One last note, we are moving tomorrow to Louisiana. I may be off line for a week and may still be one series and several automanagers behind. I will rectify this as soon as I have my office running. It's strange to leave Charlottesville after 11 years, but if my division rivals could manage it I guess I can as well. 

The Atlanta Braves organization proudly accepts the award for the shortest article with the complete understanding that the reigning champ of short articles is the Saint Louis Cardinals, who, under the ownership of Chuck Engle, have contributed virtually nothing to the HPP. The best example was a one line article a few years back (Editor’s note: Mr. Engle’s article, quoted in its entirety, was, “My team sucks.”  It was ghost written by yours truly.  Mr. Engle was not compensated.) 

The slumping Braves were again beaten by the lowly Indians to the tune of 4 games to 1. This Brave slump unfortunately coincided with a winning streak by the Angels and dumped the Braves from first place, at least temporarily.  Atlanta was victimized by a combination of bad hitting and bad pitching. The hitters batted a measly .196 against the Indians pitching staff with the pitchers were compiling a 5.40 ERA, allowing the Indians to hit .308 with 9 HR. David Segui hit .545 while driving in 7 runs. Sammy Sosa also drove in 7 with 3 HR. The only Braves regular to hit over .250 was Bobby Higginson with .286. 

Just before press time the Braves took the first four games of a five game series with the Angels.  The race tightens... 

I want to salute anybody who stays home and takes care of kids. My wife went down with an inner ear problem on May 31 and it is still ongoing. She was completely out of it the first two weeks and still cannot do a lot. I was home from work for the first week and the following Monday until I was able to get my son into a day-care center. They fortunately had a child dis-enroll the previous Friday evening and I was the first caller Monday morning so we got the slot. This allowed me to return to work and my wife to recuperate quietly without having to deal with a two year old. She is now taking care of him 3 days a week and the other 2 afternoons. She says that as long as she doesn't try to move fast she doesn't get dizzy. This doesn't do Michael any good as she is not able to play with him like he's used to but he seems to be adapting well. I try to make it up to him by devoting more time in the evenings to him.  

Entering the month of June with a relatively impressive 41-39 record, Gambino's Bambinos were looking forward to a series of divisional clashes which could have seen the team race up the standings ladder. Instead, the Phillies fell completely off.  Opening the month at St Louis, the Phils were looking forward to raping Cardinal pitching. The reverse happened, as the Cards took three of four. Taking advantage of his insertion in the lineup, 3B Jeff Cirillo was one of the few who could solve the riddles posed by the St Louis 
staff, hitting .429 for the series. Nevertheless, the fact that he could only manage only one extra base hit was indicative of what would transpire throughout June - a lack of power hitting. Even more worrying was the self-immolation of SP Denny Neagle. Considered a 20-win candidate a month ago, Neagle has clearly lost the zip on his fastball, and his slider consistently fails to break. He received a well-deserved loss against St Louis, allowing ten hits, three free passes and six earned runs in his six innings while fanning only four batters. If it weren't for the spectacular play of SS Kevin Stocker throughout the series, the Cardinals could have really opened the floodgates on the Phils' staff. 

The team returned to the Vet looking for revenge against the Baltimore Orioles. Given that the Os swept them earlier in the season at Camden Yards, it appeared that the Bambinos had added incentive to take this 
series from the Baltimorons. Once again, however, history repeated itself: another Orioles sweep. Attempting to demonstrate his all-star credentials in time for the league vote, 2B Mickey Morandini led the way on offense with a .429 average, but once again, without any evidence of power except for a sole double. Neagle improved on his previous performance, allowing seven hits, three runs and a walk in eight innings 
while striking out six, but emerged without a decision. Once again, Stocker performed brilliantly at shortstop.  

It was time to strap on the kevlar in anticipation of the Washington Senators' arrival at the Vet. Despite the home team's lackluster performance against St Louis and Baltimore, the Vet was packed with 
rabid Senator-hating zealots who burned effigies of Janet Reno. What followed, however, was a royal FISTING of Phillies pitching by the powerful Senator lineup, which socked 13 home runs in the series. 
Morandini's performance was indicative of the Phil's offensive riposte .350 for the series, but once again, little power when it was needed, other than a novel double. The only starter to emerge from the series 
with his ERA relatively intact was Willie Blair (though critics argue his ERA couldn't go much higher than it already is), who allowed a dozen hits but only one walk in his eight innings of work, while striking out seven. Morandini was the defensive stud, and without his efforts in the field, the Phillies probably would not have eked out their only win in the series in the game five's extra-inning affair. 

Sporting a 1-4 mark against the division-leading Astros, hopes were not high as the team travelled to Houston. The Bambinos' record against the 'Stros is now 2-8, courtesy of some timely Houston hitting and sloppy defense by the Phillies in their attempt to impersonate Team USA's performance in the World Cup (cynical rumors are circulating in Philadelphia that the Gambino management is considering the employment of Team USA coach Steve Sampson as defensive instructor). LF Dante Bichette, as well as the entire team, however, showed signs of emerging from the power slump in their 17-4 massacre of the Astros in game two.  Bichette hit .500 for the series with three doubles, a pair of round-trippers and nine RBI. Neagle gained his 14th win in that game, surrendering six hits, one free pass and three runs in his eight innings of work while fanning five. C Brian Johnson earned his defensive stars with some prudent pitch-calling as well as hustle. 

HIT LIST: GM Ray Luca has hinted that the Phils are already looking to trade current stars for future ones, and commented that the team continues to look for an everyday catcher...Noticeably absent from the Houston series, "hitting" coach Don Baylor was rumored to be visiting the Phils' AAA farm team in the Central European League, the Leningrad Nepmen to "consult" with Nepmen coach Scott Bradley, adding fuel to the fire that the noose is being tied for current manager Al Newman...Gambino Group denies speculation that it has set up a front import-export company licensed with the Chinese government in the hope of gaining access to US advanced weapon technology. 

The Yankees are still struggling around the .500 mark and tempers are starting to flair up among players. Fingers are being pointed in the clubhouse which could result in many moves being made if the team keeps floundering. "I'm tired of these players bitchin and moaning, " replied owner Sotolar. " If they think its bad here , they ought to be glad they don't have to play for the Dodgers or Cardinals." Rumor has Rob Nen and Mariano Rivera upset at sharing the closing duties. Both feel they could command more money if they were allowed to be the #1 guy. Look for one of them to be traded in the offseason if not sooner. The Yankees also signed aging veteran Mark Leiter to a minor league contract and are planning on using him in the bullpen. 
  
The Yankees still cannot beat the rival Dodgers. It used to be a competitive series between the two teams but this year the Dodgers have the Yanks number. " They just seem to want it more than us, " explained manager Buck Showalter. " We can go down their lineup and we think we are close talent-wise but they just find a way to kick our ass each time."  
  
The one player that keeps rolling along is outfielder Juan Gonzalez. In a recent game at the Sky Dome , Juan had 5 consecutive doubles. " Juan is a mainstay for us, " replied Sotolar." He had to be our best trade we have made in franchise history. I mean we gave up a quality player in Paul O'Neill but to get a player like Juan we were extremely fortunate." 

Even with the Yanks playing poorly they still are only 3 games out of the lead. With a little luck and a couple of good bounces ( and maybe some serious injuries to the Dodgers) the Yanks can get back to the playoffs the first time in three years.  

May looked a successful bungy jump -- down (losing streak), up snap (win streak), down (mix of wins and losses, mostly losses). June was definitely taking the plunge without visible means of support. Rookie Chris Carpenter's pitching debut on 4 June versus the Yankees had the dubious distinction of starting the longest loosing streak of the month, year, and decade for the Blue Jays: 10 games. Chris was brought up to replace cavity left in the rotation by the abscises (DL-ed) Orel Hershiser. [Thus far, Orel's pitching this year has been in abscessed.] It took until Carpenter's third start on 14 June in LA-la land for the Blue Jays to pull out of their tail-spin. That game was an extra inning affair that the Jays kept trying to lose as well. The fact that five of those losses were by one run made the collapse all the more frustrating. Minority owner Katie Samocha stated the situation succinctly, "Our pitchers suck!" She pointed out that the lowest HW/G was Mike Timlin's 12.1 and the average was 15.1 HW/G. "Let's not even discuss the 135 homers allowed in 103 games!" she suggested. Minority owner Alex started a loud campaign to ouster Pitching Coach Jim Abbott. Largest minority hold Martine Samocha has been just lead the counterinsurgent troops. Rumor has it that Jim is going to announce his resignation at All-Star break. 
  
PENNANT CHASERS -- with the Jays safely out of the race, we are willing to entertain offers for veterans who may put you over the top. Be forewarned--given our cash flow, likely 1st pick, and no Jay developed rookie of import (yet)--we are willing to deal but are not going to do it in a panic. That means we will wish to retain a core of capability and our younger players. 

Jays Chatter 
Franchise record lows at All-Star break: games below 500 (30); blown saves (14); saves (20); games out (21.5); team ERA (5.79). Even with the poor performances of the last couple of years, it took most of the season before reaching these games below, blow saves, and games out levels . . . Brian Hunter finally broke the "cannot get a lead" hex and has broken loose with a series of stolen bases. He is perching comfortably on top of the league's stolen base leader board at 71. About 40% of his steals have been in the last five weeks. Brian also leads in caught stealing . . . A surprise is Delino DeShields being the closest competition in the SB race at 61 . . . The last Blue Jay to win stolen base title for MBL: Harold Reynolds . . . You know it is bad when your team's only offensive statistics worth mentioning is SB . . . Despite being on the DL, Orel Hershiser has stayed ahead in the HRA (31) versus HR contest. Carlos Delgado (23 HR) cooled down at the same time Orel went on the DL. "No challenge," said Carlos . . .The team's best starter ERA belongs to Pat Hentgen at 5.14. The worst is Hershiser at 7.79. The best overall ERA is Mike Timlin's at 2.93. Mike Bielicki is holding up the others with at 7.86 . . . The best BA on team is a tie at 0.268[!] for Berroa and DeShields. Olerud is a point off but at least is willing to walk, OBP is 0.373. Fortunately, beside the pitchers, everyone is batting his weight or better. 

Major League Baseball 

22 June went to see the Detroit Tigers come to Busch against the Cardinals. Seats were upper terrace but even with 3rd base dug-out. All four kids enjoyed the game even though it lacked a promotion. Entire crowd was depressed to see McGwire go 0-fer-game. I got to see some of my team speed live -- DeShields beat out a slow chopper to short; Hunter was playing for tie-goes-to-runner even on sharp shots right to Royce Clayton. By the way: when did Todd Stottlemeyer learn to pitch? I had that sucker for years, including holding uncarded minor leaguer, a never saw him pitch as he did against the Tigers that night. 

Real Baseball 
Alex -- If the team can avoid a forfeit [too few players] they should finish with one loss -- the only loss in 3 years. Defense, when on, is beautiful to watch and it makes all those hours coaching feel worthwhile. Alex hitting well despite his over-swinging to become one of the HR hitters (three of the twelve have) his average is suffering but above 0.600. 
Katie -- is holding her offensive status (best OBP, 2nd in BA). Unfortunately, since she is a dead pull hitter, some of the coaches have started to "Kingman shift" when she bats. She has settled in a second base, coming in from RF, and made a 4(tag)-4-3 DP as if it was routine. The team still has not won but the margin of loss is down to 1-2 runs versus 10+ of early season. 

We have all heard the phrase "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?".  I have a new one for you. If one of your pitchers throws a no-hitter and you did not realize it had happened, does it still count?  Well of course it still counts statistically, but it doesn't count in my fantasy baseball memories. I have robbed myself of being aware of one of the rarest events in  playing baseball games and it was one batter away from being even worse.  Woody Williams only allowed one baserunner, it was a walk, and that baserunner was immediately erased by a double play.  Woody only faced 27 batters.  Do you have any excuses for not noticing near  perfection Walt?  The only thing that comes to mind is that the game was  never in doubt, I jumped out to a big early lead and eventually won 11 - 0, and I played quickly to get it over with. I want to thank Chris for his effort via this newletter to try and get some written response out of the silent half of our league.  Even though teams receive money for writing articles, the same 9 or 10 owners are the only ones every month who choose to voice their comments. Chris ask us to reply to several questions about our personal favorites. My favorite author would be Stephan King and I chose him because I have read more books by him than any other author.  My favorite King books would be "It" and "Misery".  Elton John and Bernie Turpin are my favorite song writers, but not my Elton is not my favorite artist.  "Candle in the Wind" and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" are the two songs from them I most enjoy.  "Candle.." because of who it is about and "Don't Let..." because they used it to end the vampire movie "The Lost Boys".  I listen to almost no music on the radio because I am a talk radio junky.  Howard in the morning, Rush at lunch, Chuck Harder, Dr.Laura, and Dr. O'dell in the afternoon, and baseball at night.  The last book I have read is actually a re-read of Zecharia Sitchin's "The 12th Planet".  Single book and CD on a desert island, "Lord of the Rings" and Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors". 

"What stinks?'. Edgar Martinez asks facetiously as he passes the Mariner bull pen.  He is instantly barraged by some of pitching coach Mike Moore's cherry tomatoes which somehow manage to grow under the dome.  None find the mark.  Martinez shrugs his shoulders and says, "They haven't hit what they were aiming at all year."  Statistics seem to bear this out.  Edgar examines a few tomatoes on the ground and observes that they have sustained little damage.  He expresses no surprise. 

It is ugly here in Seattle.  The bullpen keeps a ranking of batters least likely to be using a cork bat.  Tony Womack heads that list.  Butch Huskey commands the second spot and is now known in some circles as Fifi   Only Griffey is immune to criticism.  So far.  

The fans are restless.  Instead of K's they are hanging H's (for hits), W's (for walks) and R's (for runs).   Space along the railing for letters can get crowded.  The team mascot - good ol' Skipper Ted - had the hell 
beat out of him by Boy Scout Troop #205 from Rainier on Umbrella Day (in a dome????).  Rumor has it they earned merit badges for this project.  

Maybe the team has hit bottom.  The team played well recently, including a 5 five game sweep at Cincinnati which put the Reds manager into analysis and was no no doubt induced by the faulty lg file that floated around the league for awhile.  Even with the improved play, Seattle sits at a .444 percentage which is a great on base percentage, but we're talking wins here.  This from a team that was thought to be a contender (by this writer anyway). 

What to do...  Well it is trading season.  Ken Griffey offers need not apply, unless you are criminally insane and enjoy raping your team.  Ditto Rodriguez, but the other guys are available for a slight service charge.  
Give a holler. 

The Washington Senators have hit the 2/3 point of the season sniffing the (for them) rarified air of .500 with a 55-53 record. That they have such a record has the SABRmetric community stunned as the Sens have been outscored 632-523 on the season. Washington’s propensity for getting slaughterd by scores of 16-0 (Houston, we havea problem) has contributed to the mathematical anomoly. 

Washington’s offense has been led by Rusty Greer, Jim Thome and Jay Buhner who are all slugging over .500. Jose Valentin has been the big dissapointment with the bat with a .275 OBP and .298 SLG. The starting rotation has been less than stellar with 3/5 of the rotation hovering around a 4.9 ERA and the other 2/5 in the low-to-middle 6 range. The Philthies favorite relief pitcher, Gregg Olson has a nifty 8.37 ERA but is still around because Senators Manager Jerry ‘Da Guvnah’  Browne believes that Olson will be closing for the Senators next year. ‘Da Guvnah’ is also threatening to use Olson as a pinch hitter against the mobsters next year in the belief that Gregg could hit one out off Philadelphia’s AA pitching staff. 

Speaking of the Philthies, the highlight of the season to date may have been Washington’s June series at the Vet. The Senators clubbed the home-boys taking 4 of 5 games while outscoring the hapless Sillies 37-17 in the process. The team slugged .624 with next year’s MBL MVP, Pudge Rodriguez slugging .909 and Jim Thome slugging .818.  

June also saw the Sens go into Fenway and take 3 of 5 from Herzog’s carpet baggers. As ‘Da Guvnah’ said, “it was important to win this series if we hope to have a lifetime winning record at Fenway - next year these guys will probably be playing in Denver or Detroit.” 

Unfortunately June also featured a  3-1 series loss to those pussy Dodgers from Hollywood. Once again, next year’s MBL MVP, Pudge Rodriguez, graciously held a catching clinic for Mike Piazza prior to each of the games. Who says the modern ballplayer doesn’t care about the disadvantaged in society any more? 
In other news from the Senators organization, General Manager Mike Keenan has resigned to devote all his energies to coaching the MHL Chicago Blackhawks. As Iron Mike has pointed out, that squad is in dire straits and will need all his attention in orde to be respectable any time soon. Taking over as General Manager for the Senators is Calle Thorne, better known as Detective Ballard on Homicide, Life On The Street. Senators owner Gord Fitzgerald refuses to reveal whether she *actually* slept her way to the position saying only that “I would be happy to have her sleep her way to the top of our organization.” 
Finally, in unrelated news, the Senators organization is offering a substantial award to anyone who can locate the brains of Bill Wirtz, Bob Pulford or Bob Murray. 

Click on me to learn how to handle a domestic dispute!

“We have played fairly well overall,” manager George Scott said, “but there still is room for improvement.  We need to do better leading off innings if we are to catch Houston.” 

Through 108 games, the Red Sox are off to their fastest start in team history, largely due to the strength of their pitching.  Pedro Martinez (15-4, 1.78) has performed as well as expected, while Scott Erickson (10-12, 4.55), Dave Wells (10-11, 3.83) and Tom Gordon (8-6, 3.79) have pitched well enough to win in most starts. 

The enigma of the rotation has been first-round selection Rick Reed (11-7, 4.98).  Reed, who was rumored to be heading to the Yankees in the draft, was selected to serve as the number two man in the Sox’ rotation.  While Reed has shown the ability to win thanks to a team-leading run support average of 5.50, he has been extremely flammable, allowing 26 homeruns in 155 innings.  Boston pitching coach Luis Tiant is hoping his performance can improve in the second half. 

“Rick seems to allow everyone who reaches base to score.  He’ll retire four in a row, then give up two hits followed by a homer.  It’s the damndest thing I’ve seen in a while.” 

According to general manager Whitey Herzog, Reed could be the key to catching the Astros. 

“My trade offers have generally been rebuffed and, frankly, the guys that are available might not help us that much.  If Reed can perform up to his true potential in the second half, that might be enough for us.  He has the stuff to win 20 games, but he’d better get it together if he wants it.” 

Herzog is reportedly seeking to upgrade the team’s offense, especially in the leadoff position.  While rookie SS Nomar Garciaparra has done a great job (.316-17-65, 12 SBs), he is not a prototypical leadoff man.  Herzog is hoping to be able to find someone with speed to set the table for Garciaparra, RF Tim Salmon (.313-21-67), 3B John Valentin (.312-11-72) and 1B Mo Vaughn (.258-20-65).  

“We have the power to score a lot of runs, but I am at a loss to explain why we have been outscored so often.  Mo hasn’t hit with the average we’d like, but at least his power has improved over the last six weeks.  We need better production out of left, center and second if we are to compete with the likes of Biggio-Bagwell-Caminiti.” 

In what may be a sign that things will improve, CF Andruw Jones homered twice in Miami for a 6-4 win over Shawn tEstes, doubling his season total to four.  Nonetheless, the platoon experiment in centerfield has been a huge disappointment as both Rich Becker and Jones have been ineffective. 

The seeds of the Astros’ destruction are already in Boston ... or are they?  Only the second half will decide. 

SOX YARNS: Garciaparra, a worthy All-Star, came within a homerun of hitting for the cycle in a 9-3 in Miami June 29th.  Garciaparra was 4-5 with 2 stolen bases. ... Stan Belinda has been hired to pitch in the upcoming series on Classic Sports Network, Home Run Derby.  With Belinda, it truly is a “homerun or nothing.”  Through 52 innings, Belinda (1-3, 4.61, 2 saves) has fanned 55 batters and allowed 11 homeruns. ...  Herzog has been shopping starting pitching in his effort to improve this year’s squad.  All interested parties are invited to contact him at Fenway Park. ... First-half MVP awards go to Pedro Martinez and Tim Salmon. ... The Baltimore Orioles visit Fenway for a four-game set beginning July 6th.  The Orioles have petitioned the Red Sox to move the series to Boston University to accomodate their desire to play in front of smaller audiences, but the move was rejected by Boston.  ... The rival Phillies come to town on July 11th for a matchup that has been sold out for months.  The Irish mafia has reportedly purchased a block of 15,000 seats for each game.  Although their target is unknown, Philadelphia rookie Garret Stephenson had to leave the game early and was disabled following an incident during the Phillies’ last visit to Fenway Park. ... What smells?  Oh, that’s just the Florida Marlins, coming to Fenway July 16-21.  Come see Cal Ripken botch routine plays at shortstop while Earl Weaver decomposes in the visiting dugout.  

Bob Biermann: 

1. I don't read too much.  I couldn't name an author of fiction other 
than Daniel Steele (Mom wants her new book for mother's day every year) 
and Stephen King. 

2. Songwriter, Elton John.  Musical Group, Triumph. 

3. Rock.  (I can listen to anything except country) 

4. Ball Four. 

5. Couldn't tell you what book.  Triumph, Magic Power. 

Pat Barry: 

Favorite Author: John Irving, his best "A Prayer For Owen Meany" 
Runnersup Up: Brian Moore, John Steinbeck 
Favorite Singer: Harry Chapin, his best "A Better Place to Be" 
Runnersup: Nancy Griffith REM Jimmy Buffett Jackson Browne 
Music: Mostly Musicals, Les Miserables, Man of La Mancha, Oklahoma, some 
Nancy Griffith and Jimmy Buffett 
Last Book Read: Reading Gore Vidal's "Smithsonian Institute"  last 
completed Andrew Greeley's "Contract With an Angel", have read 70 books 
since 1/1/97. 
If stranded on an Island:  Moby Dick, lots on makeup of ships!  and Nancy 
Griffith's "Storms" 

Gord Fitzgerald: 

Favourite Author (I am changing this to Favourite Writer) - Hunter S. 
Thompson 
Favourite Songwriter/Composer - Gord Downie (The Tragically Hip) 
Music in last month - The theme to Hockey Night in Canada 
Last Book I read - The History of Torture 
If Stuck on a Desert Island I'd want - Total Baseball and The Ongoing 
History 
of New Music (a compilation by Toronto's "New Rock" radio station) 

Nat Bailey: 

I think Chris asked 
about music, and I'd have to say Smashing Pumpkins and Toots and the 
Maytals. 

Jack Buchanan: 

1. Favorite author: J.R.R. Tolkien.  The Hobbit is my favorite, even over 
the Lord of the Rings trilogy. 

2. Favorite songwriter/composer: Lennon-McCartney.  Too many choices to 
decide. 

3. Music: U2 (Achtung Baby, Joshua Tree are the best), REM (Automatic for 
the People), Nirvana, Marilyn Manson, Counting Crows 

4. God Has 99 Names (Judith Miller of the NYT on the Middle East) and Secret 
Warriors of the Reagan Years (a documentary on covert operations in the 
1980s) 

5. Any book entitled "How to Save Yourself on a Deserted Island Equipped 
Only with a CD" and U2's Achtung Baby 

Chris Klug 

Well, I guess this shows how many people actually read the HPP. 
Disappointing, ain't it? 

Favorite Author: Jerry Pournell/Larry Niven. the write as a team, mostly, so 
I don't feel too bad about listing both of them. 
Runnersup Up: Patrick O'Brien 
Favorite Singer: Todd Rundgren 
Runnersup: John Lennon, Gordon Lightfoot, Tori Amos 
Music: Mozart; Verdi 
Last Book Read: The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell 
If stranded on an Island: Revolver by the Beatles and The Civil War by 
Shelby Foote. 

The Florida Marlins today addressed the issue of why no press releases or other public communications have come out of the front office since the team's move from San Francisco at the end of last season. 

"It's kind of funny, really," said Marlins public relations director Les Nessman, who holds the same position for Conner Sunbelt Sports Holdings' Molson Hockey League franchise, the Phoenix Coyotes.   "I'd been so caught up in covering the Coyotes' inaugural season, and the playoffs overlapped the MBL season, and I guess I missed the memo about the move to Miami...."  Nessman went on to explain that after the Coyotes upset playoff loss to Gambino Group's Ottawa Senators, he hastily boarded a flight to San Francisco to manage the Giants'  PR. 

"I probably should have been more suspicious about the lack of baseball activity, but I figured it was just a really long road trip," Nessman continued.  "It wasn't a total loss, though - I found out that tractor pulls can be darn exciting!" 

So, who are these mysterious Marlins?  Despite efforts to trade many of the team's prominent veterans, they turn out to be pretty much the same as last year's Giants, albeit with more youngsters pushing from the minor leagues.  The Marlins continue to entertain offers for a number of veteran hitters, many of whom are performing quite well, including Tony Phillips, Will Clark, Lance Johnson, and Bobby Bonilla.  The Marlins are also considering the possibility of trading some of their young pitching for good young hitters, with Shawn Estes and Alex Fernandez being marketed to potential contenders.  Livan Hernandez is also potentially available, but not likely to help another MBL team this season.  After throwing 17 games for the Marlins, Hernandez took a leave of absence from the club in order to participate in the national tractor pull circuit, a lifelong dream spurred on by PR director Nessman's tales. 

The Los Angeles Dodgers, fighting for a third consecutive division title, posted a 17-11 record for the month of June.  This, despite a 1-4 series against the division leading St. Louis Cardinals.  

The Dodgers tried to improve their offense by acquiring outfielder Troy O'Leary from the New York Meets.  O'Leary has been inserted into the lineup in Gary Sheffield's spot and will see some time in left field when Sheffield returns.  "I really like having his left-handed bat in the line-up.  We needed another lefty in the lineup," said manager Ken Phelps.  "Our other lefties haven't been producing.  We need someone other that Piazza in our lineup."  Phelps has been disappointed in Rafeal Palmeiro's year thus far.  Palmeiro is hitting a dismal .201 at the break and hit only .168 for the month of June. 

The Dodgers parted with potential starter Mike Sirotka to secure Troy O'Leary.  The Mets were rumored to be after the hard-throwing Hideo Nomo.  The trade was all but done but Nomo failed the Mets physical.  
Nomo was asked to stand 10 paces away from Shea stadium and hit it with a baseball.  He is also a Capricorn and that didn't sit well with the Met's front office.  Nomo has struggled with his control all year and has a record to show for it.  He is 4-10 on the season for the Dodgers with and averaged about 5 walks a game.  

Dodger Catcher Mike Piazza hasn't been pleased with his teammates performance.  "I can only carry these guys for so long," said Piazza.  "I know I'm a stud but I can't bat 10 times a game.  Believe me, if Phelps could find a way to get that done, we'd be running away with this division."  Piazza hit over .370 in June and was runner up player of the month to Anaheim's Tony Gwynn. 

The final two months will be key for a lot of Dodgers this season.  The front office is threatening big changes at the end of the year if they fail to win the division.  Owner Bob Biermann isn't used so seeing names at the top other than his Dodger team.  "We should be able to take this thing again," remarked Biermann.   "Shit, anytime you have the Cardinals and Yankees in a division shouldn't have a problem kicking some ass.  You should be able to look beyond those pathetic excuses for ball clubs and concentrate on the others.  Toronto has given up so it should be us and Baltimore.   I'm surprised the O's haven't been there but shouldn't be.  With their owner in another country all season, what do you expect.  I mean, if you can't even come to the States to see your team play on opening day, you're not showing much interest." 

I've been a Baseball fan my whole conscious life. I'm gonna assume that there was a game on in the delivery room and claim thirty-eight years as a fan. In those years I have seen hundreds of games from the stands (and thousands from the couch). During all those days at the ballpark (usually Yankee or Shea) I've witnessed some great games. I went nuts when Dave Raghetti struck out Wade Boggs to no-hit the hated Red Sox. I watched in disbelief when Satchel Paige threw a strike from BEHIND HIS BACK while in his sixties or 70's during an old timers game. I got to sit with Tom Seaver's wife and kids while he pitched brilliantly (naturally).  

I could go on of course. And if you are interested in my stories, then I'm sure you have some great moments of your own. I've gone out of my way to get seats in every part of the ballpark because I enjoy all the different views. From behind the plate, you can really get a feel for how the ump is calling balls and strikes. From the bleachers, you understand the rhythm of the outfield. You can pick up the path of a ball hit in your direction and get a real feel for what it would be like to run it down like Willie Mays as you make your "air" catches. From the field level, near the dugouts or the bases, you can't help but notice how close you are to the action. You may find yourself feeling anxious when a foul ball or overthrow comes toward you. I do, and I ALWAYS bring my glove.  Always. I bring it because I want to catch a ball. When a ball is hit to me, I'm gonna be ready. Bet on it. There's just one little problem. In all the games I've been to I've never been within a dozen seats of anything. And there appears to be nothing I can do about it. As you can tell, I've been to different seats in different ballparks. I've even brought different friends, some of whom claim to be Baseball magnets. One claimed that Raul Mondesi came to his bar and liked to toss warmup throws to him. Nothing. I know a girl, an old friend, who dated a star ballplayer. She took me to a game, and waved to George, who promptly smiled and came over to say hi. We shook hands and I complemented his brilliant play. He asked if I would like to have a game ball! Oh, yes please (dream come true)!  Well he got injured and was taken away on a streacher, I'm sad to say. No ball.  My own father tells a story of when Reggie Jackson purposly hit a foul ball to him, only to shake his head and say "oh well, I tried" when dad muffed the catch from the stands.  Well, I'm still waiting.  I even have a new glove. Better yet, I have a new weapon. My six year old son Layne. He's cute and he knows how to use it.  We're off to the Las Vegas Stars AAA game and we're gonna get a ball. It's time to end our family curse. I hope. Maybe I shouldn't go. Layne could go as an orphan and get a ball just on sympathy. Is that asking so much? See, that's how pathetic I've become. I should get help. I'm going to a AAA game, does that count. It's not quite a 12-step program, more like a 9-step program I guess. Or maybe a 108 double-stitch program. It's time to go to the game and end this blasted curse. With luck, tonight I'll sleep like a baby, smelling of leather and clutching my well deserved prize. There, I feel better just dreaming about it. Layne, get your glove on, it's time to go to the game!