=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett & Harlequin Tragedy vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson & Lord Byron =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the glare of the spotlights once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Pop] This special tag contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Comedy, here are Marty Warnett and Harlequin Tragedy! [The crowd pops as the two stars make their appearance at the head of the aisle. Warnett slaps the hands of fans on the way to the ring, and Tragedy talks with Comedy.] BL: What a pair of dorks. LM: These are IIWF stars! And the fans love them! BL: Which makes it worse. [The video wall flickers on behind Warnett and Tragedy, and they turn in surprise.] LM: Hold on! On the video wall! It's Byron! [Byron appears on the screen, smirking, in the study of his Louisiana home.] Byron: Good evening, Mr. Warnett, Tragedy, and of course the beautiful Comedy. I am _so_ sorry I couldn't make it here tonight, but I have been suffering from a rather severe bout of the flu, *cough* *cough* [smirk] and I really had no choice but to take the advice of my physician and rest. *cough* Can't ignore the doctor's orders.... LM: Oh, come on! There's nothing wrong with him! Look at him laughing! BL: And look at Walnut! The punk's going crazy in there! LM: Tragedy and Comedy don't look too pleased either... Byron: However, never let it be said that Lord Byron will leave a partner unaided. *cough* [smirk] Mr. Stetson, I fully appreciate your desire to rend these two peons limb from limb, and so, I have managed to secure you a new tag team partner. Now would everyone please give a warm welcome for the one of the only man I truly trust, weighing in at 224lbs, here is Reeves the Butler! [The picture on the screen fades, with Byron laughing his head off. As the screen fades, a man dressed in a completely ridiculous black wrestling singlet with a coat, tails and bow tie design on it makes his way towards the ring, nose high in the air, accompanied by the Lady DeWinter.] LM: Is this some kind of sick joke? Look at him! BL: Do I have to? LM: This is disgusting. Byron is sending a servant down to wrestle Warnett and Tragedy for him? Is this his idea of revenge on Stetson for their bust-up last night? [Stetson bolts out of the locker room area and begins arguing with DeWinter. She pulls him away from the ring, and says a few words. Stetson calms down, and starts laughing, before shaking Reeves' hand and getting back into the ring.] LM: I'd love to know what was said there... BL: I'm sure you would. [The bell rings, and the match starts off with Warnett facing Reeves. The two men lock up, and Warnett comes out on top with a twist of the arm. Reeves yells in pain and works his way to the corner, where he tags in Stetson. Stetson enters and pops Warnett in the face. Warnett staggers back and gets hit with a clotesline which send him to the mat. Warnett rolls to his corner and tags in Tragedy. Tragedy enters and executes a dropkick on Stetson, which staggers him. Tragedy follows up with another dropkick, and Stetson hits the mat. Stetson rolls to his corner for the tag, and Reeves enters again. Reeves gestures towards Warnett, beckoning him in. Tragedy turns to Warnett, and Warnett nods his head. Tragedy tags him in, and Warnett charges Reeves. Reeves runs away, trying to elude Warnett while staying in the ring.] LM: I don't know why Byron even bothered providing this guy. BL: What do you mean? Look at the power in those legs! [Reeves immediately tags out to Stetson, who enters the ring. The two men lock up, and Stetson gets a headlock on Warnett. Warnett throws Stetson into the ropes, and is hit with a vicious clothesline from Stetson. Stetson grabs hold of the dazed Warnett and ties him up in the ropes. Lady DeWinter hits the apron twice and begins making rude gestures to Comedy. Comedy comes after DeWinter, and chases her up the aisle. Stetson waltzes over to Tragedy and slaps him in the face, causing Tragedy to enter the ring. The ref cuts him off, allowing Reeves and Stetson to both beat up on Warnett. Suddenly, Byron rolls out from under the ring holding a cane.] LM: Hey! BL: What? LM: That's Byron! BL: Yes, it is. [Byron moves in behind Tragedy and smacks the cane into Tragedy's knee. The ref calls for the bell, but that doesn't stop Byron from hitting Tragedy in the head a few times with the cane. Stetson and Reeves continue to beat up on Warnett. Byron calls over to Stetson, and Stetson holds Warnett's head, forcing him to watch what's to come. Byron locks a figure four onto Tragedy, and laughs at Warnett. Warnett fights to free himself, but Stetson makes sure he's held fast. Reeves moves over to Tragedy and punches him a few times while the figure four is on. Tragedy seems to be in immense pain, but can't do anything about it after the cane shots. Byron lets go of the figure four and walks over to Warnett, slapping him in the face. He walks back to Tragedy and locks on the Aristoclutch. At that point, the Jobber Justice Squad runs to the ring and tries to separate the men involved. Stetson tries to continue his assault on Warnett, but is restrained. Someone forces Byron to break his leglock-sleeperhold, and Reeves gets subdued easily. The three men are escorted back up the aisle.] LM: That was disgusting. BL: I know... These guys should have let it go on longer. LM: I'll never understand you, Becky. BL: That's just the way I like it. ["Cold Gin" starts up over the PA, and the fans pop large as Warnett helps Tragedy to his feet.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners as the result of a disqualification: Marty Warnett and Harlequin Tragedy! [Big pop as Warnett raises the winded Tragedy's arm. Fireworks explode in the rafters of the Coliseum as the two athletes celebrate their win in the ring. Cut to the broadcast table.] LM: It's a victory for Warnett and Harlequin, but a hollow one, it must be said. Even if Byron and Stetson didn't have that little debacle planned, it certainly came off well for them.