TD: It looks like the upcoming match has brought out a ringside guest. SR: The American Patriot came back out here? TD: Steve Roberts, I believe that was a cardboard cut-out of the American Patriot. SR: How could you tell the difference? TD: Will you stop? SR: No seriously, Dross... wooden, one-dimensional... that's our guy! [Soundbite gives a big thumbs up, leading a number of his "L'il Soundbiters" in the arena to yell out, "Hoooooooo!"] SR: Beat that, tough guy! TD: Actually, it appears that Stoneheart, a well-known wrestler from the ESWP promotion, which currently has a working agreement with the IIWF, is at ringside. I'd presume it has something to do with Lord Byron. SR: Are you sure he isn't just looking to steal my moonsault? TD: I believe the competition in the ESWP, for whom Lord Byron holds the European Championship, is a little stiffer than that. SR: I was a little stiffer than that once. TD: Let's get to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Lord Byron vs. Steve Kowalski ----------------------------------------- WRITER: JJ [Sparkplug Lee gives a wave to two oddly dressed fans holding a "Morton 3:16" sign, and then takes the mic:] SL: The following contest is set for one fall, and is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! [Big Pop as the "Furies" begin their "Skull - pump!" chant.] SL: Introducing first, the challenger... at a weight of... [Sparkplug shuffles his cards] ...239 and one half pounds...[big POP!]... he hails from Newark, New Jersey and is a former Intercontinental Champion... Steve "The Fury" Kowalski! ["Don't fear the Reaper" is almost washed away in the sea of the "Skull - pump!" chant which eminates from the "Furies". Kowalski looks not an ounce lighter than his previously listed 268lbs as the enters the aisle in his customary green trunks and Harley Davidson jacket. Kowalski spies a ringside sign held up by one of his Furies on which is a crude drawing of a bloody gauntlet and the words: "Hey, Petrow... he's baa-aack!" The Fury grabs it and waves the poster in front of the face of the seated Stoneheart at ringside. Big pop!] TD: That's a man that Steve Kowalski best avoid. Death Enterprises is not an entity to rile up. SR: Are they IIWF, Dross? Do they live the life like me and Kowalski? I don't think so. Any of those punks want some... they know where to find you, Dross. [Kowalski slumps in the corner of the ring, giving a mock yawn as Sparkplug retakes the mic:] SL: His opponent... accompanied down the aisle by Lady DeWinter, he weighs in at 265lbs and currently resides in New Orleans, Louisiana, he is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion of the World... Lord Byron! [Heel Pop as "Intermezzo from Karelia Suite" leads the champ down the aisle. The winsome DeWinter appears first, holding both the IIWF and ESWP belts aloft. Then comes the champ, Byron's blond hair contrasting sharply with the black dress worn by his ward. The Englishman is milking his walk for all it is worth, sneering at the crowd as he deliberately moves to the ring. Byron halts DeWinter as she hits the apron, moving up to hold open the ropes for the good Lady to allow her entry into the ring. Byron takes a long, lugubrious bow to the crowd as DeWinter hands over the belts to the official, Kowalski's impatience showing as he mimes looking at a "wristwatch" while Byron preens.] TD: You know, we really are about to see a classic matchup, Steve Roberts. The Fury can brawl with anyone on the planet... and Byron just might be the top technician in the world today. SR: Yeah, this is the kind of match we need to see more of around here, Dross. I want all you "L'il Soundbiters" to pay attention to this match... you have a great opportunity to watch two guys who do this the right way -- the Soundbite way. TD: Nice to see you taking such an interest in your fans, Steve. SR: Or, you can do what I'll do and just watch DeWinter from the back as she hops up on that apron. Gotta get me some of that, Dross! [The two men go nose to nose as the crowd buzzes, Byron pointing a finger in Kowalski's chest, clearly informing the Fury that today is not to be his. Kowalski grabs Byron's hand... and bites it! Bringing a huge pop from his fans.] TD: I don't think that was called for, Steve Roberts. SR: First good meal Kowalski's had in weeks, the boy's just wasting away out there. TD: Well, we'll get him some steaming hot french toast... straight from the oven and covered in syrup and butter. He doesn't need to eat the Intercontinental Champion. [Kowalski takes advantage of Byron's shock at the near loss of a fingertip, doubling the champ up with a boot to the midsection and then chopping at his neck with an uppercut. Kowalski then bounds off the backrope and drops a surprising scissor kick over Byron which sends the Englishman hard to the mat! Pop! Byron is up and Kowalski whips him farside, getting him in the middle of the ring with a lariat attempt -- ducked -- but Kowalski is able to meet the champ on the second pass with a swinging neckbreaker that sends him hard into the mat! Cover - 1 -- 2 -- Kickout by Byron.] TD: Very fast start by the challenger, Steve Roberts... he's showing a little speed here, trying to stay away from a mat matchup with Byron. SR: He's lighter, Dross. Kowalski is really moving around that ring like a good cruiser should. Hey, Kowalski, show him the Starsault Press. [Both men are now on their feet, Kowalski driving at Byron with a series of European uppercuts. Kowalski Irish whips into a hiptoss attempt -- blocked -- Byron makes the same try -- same result -- and Kowalski drops Byron to the mat with a hard clothesline! Pop! Kowalski moves to the mat... and Byron quickly rolls him up. Kowalski reverse cradles: 1 -- 2 -- NO! Byron kicks out. Kowalski corner-whips Byron, who gathers himself at the buckle, springboarding back into a waistlock of the charging Kowalski. Kowalski misses a back elbow -- and another back elbow... and is driven hard into the mat with a German suplex by Byron! Pop!] TD: Oh, not where the Fury wanted to be, that's his problem with this match, Steve Roberts. He can not compete on the mat with a man like Byron. SR: He can if he bites him again. Come on, Kowalski! It's supper time! [Byron has maneuvered for a facelock, which he keeps despite desperate attempts by Kowalski to escape. Byron moves to a Japanese armbar, then combines it with a painful wristlock, Byron driving his knee into the back of Kowalski's shoulder as he maintains hold of the wrist... the official asks for a submission -- but none is forthcoming. Byron continues his assault on the Kowalski upper body, now thrusting the knee into the small of Kowalski's back... grabbing a double wristlock... and wrenching his way back into a bow and arrow submission maneuver that gains support as Byron moves his free leg to hook the bottom rope, giving him the leverage he needs as the official asks again for the Kowalski submission. No response. Byron arches backward again. No response... but now his leg is firmly intertwined in that rope...] TD: Kowalski is really in trouble here, Byron has locked on that bow and arrow. This is really wearing on that lumbar region of Kowalski. SR: It almost brings tears to my eyes, Dross. Look a the beautiful way Byron uses that rope, that's just like I taught him. [Kowalski is clearly beginning to fade, until the "Furies" in a voice that rings out clearly through the Coliseum, shout out, "Check - the - rope! Check - the - rope!" The official does -- and forces Byron to break the hold! "Thanks -- Jerk!" is the measured response from the Furies, Byron clearly irritated with their involvement.] TD: Steve Kowalski has a good deal of growing fan support here in the IIWF, Steve Roberts -- and never will that be more important than when he faces Joe Petrow in that bizarre Birthday Bash matchup. SR: Will that be for the Intercontinental title, Dross? TD: If Kowalski is able to take the belt here, he will in, fact, have to wrestle twice that evening, both against Joe Petrow and then against Creed -- if the rookie can keep his shot -- for the IC belt. No word yet on whether the first match will be for the title, but Byron is not going away easily, Steve Roberts. [Each man is up now, Kowalski landing two haymaker right hands, and Kowalski countering with a boot to the weakened back to causes the Fury to slump. Byron applies a standing side headlock... and then whips Kowalski into the corner... the Fury slips the charge, goes behind into a waistlock, and sends Byron to this knee with an atomic drop! Pop! Byron staggers backward... Kowalski attempts a running lariat -- misses -- but Kowalski springboards off the backrope and drives Byron's head to the mat with a flying bulldog into a cover... 1 -- 2 -- kickout by Byron!] SR: Hey, Stonehead... they teach you that one in the minor leagues, buddy? TD: That's Stoneheart, Steve Roberts. SR: Oh, that's right, his head is probably soft and pliable... like a little baby chick's. [Kowalski stays on the mat, ripping away at Byron with fast right hands. Byron lifts his legs, hooking Kowalski, and the Fury goes to the mat, Byron slapping him across the face in time with each count of the official... 1 -- 2 -- No! Kowalski gets a shoulder up. Both men are on their feet. Byron quickly establishes a standing side headlock, then bars the arm and steps over -- Kowalski reverses, applying his own armbar, and whips Byron to the corner... and charges... and hits Byron with a high knee that rams into his chest! Pop! Kowalski rams the crumpling Byron again, and again, into that buckle, his Furies shouting their loyal support. Kowalski now sends Byron for the big cross-corner ride... and he smashes hard into the buckle as the Fury charges again -- and gets backdropped by Byron over the top rope and all the way out to the floor! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! That was a huge fall that the big Kowalski took -- he had just begun to establish a little bit of control here... and took that big back body drop out to that hard floor! Mercy. SR: There is no mercy, Dross! This is the IIWF, where even the broadcasters will kick your ass if your look at them sideways. I love it! [Byron rolls underneath the bottom rope, kicking Kowalski's head with disdain as he mocks the ringside fans. Byron grabs Kowalski up by the hair, and lands three sharp European uppercuts and then a hard whip that sends Kowalski falling back to the guardrail. Byron advances slowly, bathing not only in the hostility of the Kowalski fans, but in the increasingly eerie silence of the Sychopaths, who have risen one-by-one throughout the match -- and soundlessly turned their backs on the action.] TD: Oh, Byron is really laying into Kowalski now, he's got the Fury draped over that retaining barrier -- and is choking him out with a boot to the back of the neck. SR: What's going on with these Sychopaths? I'm started to get creeped out with all these guys turning away from the ring. Least they could do is look at DeWinter, see sometimes, the slit in her dress will move to just the right spot... [Byron continues choking Kowalski out, smirking all the while... and is then HAMMERED on the forehead with...] TD: Kowalski hits Byron... with a hammer! He hit him with a hammer that one of those "Furies" of his passed to him! We can't have this. We just can't have this. SR: Aw yeah... finally some fans who aren't complete morons. I mean, they're morons -- just not complete morons. [Kowalski tosses the hammer back into the crowd and rips into Byron with right hands, then a short armed clothesline, then drops him on his head with a vertical suplex that has Lord Byron laid out on the floor! Pop! Kowalski picks Byron slowly off the floor, hooking the champ's arms, and getting set for the Skullpump... and is grabbed from behind by DeWinter! Lady DeWinter grabs Steve Kowalski from behind!] SR: This is all I ever wanted to see. [Kowalski pauses a moment... lifts his head into the air... and releases the hold! Kowalski turns around to face DeWinter and rubs his belly, a huge smile breaking out over his face as he advances -- not seeing that Byron is right behind...] TD: No! Kowalski turns around and floors Byron with a right hand! SR: Yeah! Get the belt -- and then the broad! Kowalski means business, Dross. [Kowalski dumps Byron back into the ring, and climbs up to the mid-rope before dropping a leg hard onto Byron's neck. Pop! The Fury picks Byron up again, the raised welt from the hammer shot clearly visible on the Englishman's forehead. Kowalski spits in the champion's face... and drives him to the mat with a DDT! Big Fury Pop! Kowalski covers... 1 -- 2 -- NO! Byron is able to lift a foot to the rope... and Kowalski smirks as he grabs Byron's hair and lifts him again to his feet... hooking an arm... and...] TD: We're gonna see... NO! [Byron turns rapidly turns Kowalski's arm away, and attempts a crescent kick -- caught by Kowalski -- and Byron drives him to the mat with an enzuigiri! Mammoth pop!] TD: That's Huge! The enzuigiri by Lord Byron had floored Steve Kowalski... and now each man is on the mat... each man is down on the mat! [The official begins a count as both men lie prone on the mat: 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 -- ] TD: Both men are starting to stir... it's going to be Byron first to his feet... [ -- 5 -- 6 -- Byron is up... and there's a huge pop as a figure darts to ringside... Kowalski is starting to sit up... and Byron covers... 1 -- 2 -- ] TD: It's The White Phoenix! He's got a hold of Kowalski's head! He's crouched on the apron and has gotten a hold of Kowalski's head! [ -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Big Pop!] SL: Your winner... as a result of a pinfall... and _STILL_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion...LORD BYRON! [Big pop as the Furies begin to fill the ring with debris, Chow quickly leaving ringside, soon followed by Byron and DeWinter, who tote the champion's two belts.] TD: Another victory for Lord Byron. We could not tell from here if Kowalski would have been able to kick out, but the White Phoenix made that a moot point, Steve Roberts. SR: He ain't happy, I'll tell you that, Dross. He's exiting the ring, and he is not happy with Shinja Chow -- it's only a matter of time before these two get it on, Dross.