Cook N' Chill, Thundering Cornbread Turn Back the Clock

Can you guess what year it is?

1. Nazr Mohammed has just avoided making the terrible mistake of returning for his senior year of college, thanks to the wise counsel of Antoine Walker.
2. George W. Bush still thinks a dick chainey is something his college girlfriend convinced him to wear while in a cocaine- and alcohol-induced fog.
3. The Army of Northern Virginia, under the command of Robert E. Lee and James Longstreet, is slowly crumbling before the relentless onslaught of U.S. Grant's Army of the Potomac in brutal fighting north of Petersburg, Va.

That's right: it's 1998 all over again. Time to break out the parachute pants, hoop skirts and those groovy mood rings. Watch out for that rumble in the street between the Sharks and the Jets--it'll be fisticuffs and switchblades tonight! When Cook N' Chill and Thundering Cornbread face off the week of December 18th, we may all get a little teary-eyed as we recall those halcyon days of 1998. The two franchises are goin' retro when they break out the old uniforms for Hot Air EXPRESSed and Nasty Teenage Goddesses.

"I am very excited about this upcoming game," said club owner Jimmy "Beans" Childers. "Seldom do I get as much mileage out of jokes about flatulence and other scatological humor than with Hot Air EXPRESSed. And having Howard Stern as our team mascot is brilliant. His jokes never get old."

"I'm also excited," said Darryl Dawkins, "but for far different reasons. Cornbread has worked out its problems with the old corporate sponsors and they're providing us with some seriously hot, bi-curious chicks to be our bitch cheerleaders." Marion Barry has announced that he will re-live the good old days by smoking huge amounts of crack.