Four out of five LFBL centers prefer bacon over sausage for breakfast
Lexington, KY -- Surveys show that LFBL centers overwhelmingly prefer bacon over sausage for breakfast. In a survey conducted by extremely bored pollsters last week, 19 out of last year's 24 LFBL centers (79.2 percent) said they prefer the crunchy taste of bacon to its spicier breakfast cousin, sausage. Only four prefer sausage, and Oliver Miller said he eats anything that doesn't move. When asked if that included Elden Campbell, Miller vehemently shook his head. Pollsters speculate that Miller was giving a nonverbal negative response to the question, but subsequent medical tests indicate that Miller was suffering his third mild heart attack of the afternoon, raising the possibility that it was just some sort of neck spasm.
David Robinson, when asked why he prefers bacon over sausage, simply shrugged his shoulders and asked, "Why does one person like Frankenberry and another like Booberry? That's just the way it is. Why does one guy want to nail Ginger and another Mary Ann? They're both hot bitches. Why do some people think I'm the best center on this team and others think it's Duncan? Because they're fools, that's why! I've taught that punk everything he knows."
Interestingly, the pollsters also found that Cook-n-Chill president Jimmy Childers perfers his bacon uncooked, Dudes with Tudes president Al Hoffman just eats chocolate Ding Dongs for breakfast, and Otto von Bismark of Jughead's Stinkpalm Surprise drinks blood, explaining his fondness for employment in a plasma donation center. Bafketball Jones, not surprisingly, had no comment.