EWA Presents

August 5, 1998

The screen is black...a 3D EWA logo appears in the center of the screen...the letters are wrapped in barbwire, and they are blood red...the screen fades to black...suddenly, the EWA theme plays, and clips of wrestlers like JD Freeman, Chris Douglas, Johnny Sledge, Suicide King, Cyris, Tommy Grayson, Ray Simmons, Rob Riot and The Riot Squad, and Wayne Rothschild are shown in matches...the words "Wednesday Night Warfare" flash across the screen one at a time...the last wrestler clip is shown, and it's JD Freeman bleeding profusely...then, it flashes to black, and the words Wednesday Night Warfare appear together, in white letters. The screen fades away like dripping blood, and the inside of the arena is shown...

Jon: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another ultra-fantastic edition of Wednesday Night War!! I'm Jon Marx, your triumphantly returning host, and my special guest announcer for the majority of the evening is, in fact,uh.....what's your name again?"

Suicide King: "Who? Me...I'm your sexy as hell co-host..the one the only, Suicide King."

Jon: "Oh yes, I should have remembered that. They say that the mind is the first thing to go. I really should go see a doctor about it."

Suicide King: "Thats not the only thing you should see a doctor about pal. From what i hear you've got a few problems in your cockle area. Told ya not to be messing with that Crystal Laine."

Jon: "Shhh, my wife's the producer. If she finds out, there'll be trouble for sure."

Suicide King: "Well from what i've been told lil' Miss Marx kinda digs the whole swinger scene. It gets a little kinky over at the Marx house every week. Which reminds me..can i come over tonight? I might need a little rub down from Crystal after the show...ya know how it is."

Jon: "Talk to Jeanie after the show. She's in charge of schedualing appointments" <wink>

Suicide King: "Hey watch it buddy..i'm not looking for an I.O.V sailors and social diseases type party. Just some good wholesome family fun with Crystal, your wife, and a bottle of whip cream."

Jon: "Anyway, we've got quite a show for everyone tonight. Tommy Grayson takes on Verge Darsow. We've also got Fang vs Capital Punishment for the TV title, and Mr. King here vs Jonny Sledge."

Suicide King: "Thats true..wait a minute whos Johnny Sledge? You guys didn't change the card on me did you?"

Jon: "That's what my script says, see, Johnny Sledge."

Suicide King: "Oh for Gods sakes....where the hells Aaron at? This is not right at all...i'm here to wrestle, nay, pummel a man named Jimmy Who?, and now you're pulling the old switcheroo on me? No way buddy...i'm taking this up with the front office."

Jon: "That's all fine and dandy, but according to my information...Jimmy Who?"

Suicide King: "Exactly! See somebody knows whats going on here...even if you were the last to realize the Riot Squad sucked."

Jon: "Who the fu...okay, while we sort this mess out, lets go to our first match. I believe we have Sean Foster vs Helldorito and Page at the Rochester Zoo."

Helldorado & Rage vs Sean Foster at the Rochester Zoo

Helldorado and Rage are standing right in the middle of a small crowd of on- lookers right near the chimpanzee cages at the Rochester Zoo. The chimps pick fleas and ticks off one another and the crowd, including Rage and Helly,giggle like mongoloids. It looks as if Rage and Helly are a little impatientand nervous, as they continue to look over their shoulders waiting for SeanFoster to show up and start the match.

Helldorado:"Hey man where you think Foster is?"

Rage:"I don't know man, mabye he got scared...hey Helly look! That dang ol'monkey just ate his crap!"

Helldorado and Rage continue to giggle like schoolgirls at the sight of thechimps feasting on feces until they hear a loud voice behind them.

Sean Foster:"Hey assholes! Lets get this fight started!"

Helldorado:"There he is man!"

Rage:"Lets get that animal molester!"

Helldorado and Rage charge at Foster and the crowd scatters. Rage attempts aclothesline but SF ducks hits him in the back of the head instead. Helldoradograbs SF from behind in a full nelson, but SF quickly kicks him in the nutsand Helly falls to the cement. Rage grabs a broom, usually used to clean thezoo, and swings it at SF hitting him between the shoulder blades and knockinghim to his knees. Now Helly is back on his feet and pissed. He begins kickingSF in his back, while Rage laughs and spits on him. Helly takes the broom andbegins to choke SF with it. Rage continues laughing until he sees what animal they just let loose. Oh shit, theEWA officials have just let a Bengal Tiger, among other animals, loose in thezoo. And wouldn't ya know it this Tiger is hungry and coming right for thethree wrestlers. A thick puddle of urine is formed on the ground by the now,defecating in his Jncos, Rage and Helly, unaware of the situation continueschoking SF. Rage, unable to speak and embarrsed by his soiled underwear, slapsHelly in the head.Helldorado:"What the hell cock tease?"Rage can only point at the Tiger which is slowly creeping toward its prey.

Helldorado:"Oh no!"

Helldorado slowly makes his way off of SF who is unaware of the Tiger. SF getsto his feet quickly and begins punching Helly in the face. He rams Hellys headinto the bars of the Chimps cage, which makes the chimps go insane. Rage,nearly paralyzed with fear, somehow finds it in his head to forget about theTiger and begins going after SF. He hits him with a kick to the gut and thenDDTs him onto the cement. SF's head is now busted open and a few trickles ofblood pour out, mixing into the puddle of urine Rage created. Rage and Hellynow high 5, proud of themselves and not a second later the Tiger attacks them!It hits Helly the worst, its claws tearing into the flesh on his chest. Hellyscreams in absolute terror and Rage panics in fear. Instead of helping hisfriend he attempts to open the chimps cage and hide. The tiger won't stand forthat though and he chases down Rage and takes a chunk of flesh right out ofhis flabby ass. Rage cries for his mommy as SF finally makes it to his feet.Hes dazed but ready to fight, when he notices the tiger he gets a shocked lookon his face. He doesn't have much time to take it all in though because Hellygrabs his head and smashes it into the vendors ice cream push cart. Helly thenpicks up the push cart over his head and sends it crashing down on top of SF.Sean now lays in a heap on the ground, with a push cart covering most of hisbody. Helly now attempts to help his friend Rage who suprisingly hasn't beeneaten yet. He charges and tackles the Tiger, which wasn't exactly a smart movebut hey..its a member of the Riot Squad. The tiger though, instead of killingthe two men runs off. I guess Rages ass didn't taste all that well orsomething. SF in now back on his feet and although he's now bleeding from agash on his forehead as well as the top of his head, he seems pretty well alright. Helly and Rage charge at him but Helly slips on a piece of monkeyfeces that one of the chimps threw down. Rage is still charging SF though whenhe is promptly hit in the gut by SF who then executes a neck breaker on him.SF now charges at the, on his knees and in a pile of monkey crap, Helly and ispromptly hip tossed onto the cement. Helly picks him up and the two men battleall the way to the door to the monkey cage. Helly begins ramming the back ofSF's head into the door, causing more blood to spill and more chimps toscreech. Rage is still making his way to his feet when he sees Helly and SFfall through the door and into the cage. Much to all three mens surprise imight add. The monkeys are very territorial and they don't take kindly to thisintrusion, one of the chimps named Silly jumps on Hellys face and beginsclawing at his eyes. Helly stumbles all over the cage, running into the smalltree they have for climbing about three times, not to mention stepping in oneof their water dishes and slipping in some more fecal matter. Rage now chargesthe cage with a shovel and is going to attempt to help his friend Helly. Heswings the shovel, just as Silly jumps off Hellys face and ends up clobberingHelly. Helly falls to the ground screaming with a broken and bloody nose,compliments of his partner. Rage tries to say he is sorry but has no time, asa small capuchin moneky named Wiley attaches its teeth to his scrotum.Needless to say Rage is in a little bit of pain as he runs quickly in a circletrying desperatly to get Wiley off of his member. SF charges at Helly andclotheslines him into a pile of old half eaten bananas in the corner. Ragerams the monkey, and his crotch, into the side of the cage and Wiley finallylets go. This is no rest for Rage though as he gets his head rammed into thelittle tree by SF. Helly, now covered in banana, charges SF but SF sidesteps him and flings him out the cage entrance onto the cement below. SF also exitsthe cage and picks Hellys banana smelling ass up off the ground. He bodyslamsHelly back onto the cement and then begins ramming his face into the ground.Helly, already with a bloody broken nose, isn't gonna look any better afterthis. Hes got scrapes on nearly every inch of his face and theres sure to bemore to come tonight. Rage steps out of the cage, and grabs SF by the hair.Just as hes about to punch him square in the jaw a loud roar is heard about 20feet away. All three men look over quickly to spot the Bengal Tiger, back andready for more. Rage once again soils himself and Helly looks more terrifiedthen the day he got anal probe. SF though, is the first to run, and runquickly.

Sean Foster:"I'm getting the hell outta here man!"

Rage is too scared to even form words properly...hmm..i wonder if hes likethat during his flashes too.

Rage:"Dubba D..ubbadade..dododododo..."

Helly grabs Rage by his blood soaked shirt and then slaps him hard across thecheek.

Helly:"Damn it man get a hold of yourself!!"

Rage:"Hattahatta hootta!!"

Helly:"Damn it Rage...(sniffs) Did you shit yourself?"

The Tiger roars again and begins running toward the two men who quickly springinto action by taking off in the direction of SF. They catch up with SF andtackle him outside the entrance of some kind of building.

Rage:"Leave us for dead will you?!"

Rage and Helly push SF up against the side of the building and begin punchinghim in the gut. Rage bodyslams SF through one of the cold drink push cartsnearby, sending all kinds of coke and gatorade spilling onto the ground. Hellypicks a gatorade up and begins to chug it as Rage attempts to put SF in asharpshooter. He almost gets SF turned over but SF picks up a piece of thewood that held the cart together and clobbers Rage over the head with it. Hethen hits Helly in the gut with it, doubling him over, and then swings thewood like a golf club at Hellys face sending the gatorade bottle half way downhis throat. The tiger now rounds the corner and stares at the three men. Theystare back and the tiger charges. SF throws the board at the Tiger and thethree men take off into the side entrance of the building. The tiger nearlygets them but hits its head on the door instead, knocking it unconscious. Thethree men are now out of breath in this dark building. They can barely see oneanother. Let alone themselves.

Sean Foster:"Jesus, did you see that thing?"

Rage:"Hey man where the hell are we?"

Helly:"I dunno."

Sean:(sniffs)"Who smells like shit?"

Rage:"Shut up man! (under his breath) Animal molester."

Helly:"Well lets look for a light switch or something dude."

Sean:"Screw the lightswitch...i say we just kick each others ass in the dark!"

The overzealous SF clobbers the nearest person with a double axe handle andthen begins choking whoever he just nailed. SF and the man( who is Helly)begin choking one another until they trip over a metal chair which, for somereason, is in this place. Helly desperatly gropes for the chair and when he finally gets it he swings it wildly in the dark.

Rage:"Hey man what the hell you doing?"

Helly:"I'm kicking his ass is what i'm doing!"

Rage:"No your not! You just hit me dick!"

Helly:"Pay back for the shovel."

Sean:"Yoo hoo dickheads! I'm over here!"

Helly swings the chair at the sound of SFs voice, but SF was on the ground allalong and Helly just breaks some glass. SF now grabs Helly around the waistand flips him over his head into the area where the glass has been broken. SFcautiously walks in and Helly promptly pulls him to the ground. The two mencan feel strange things crawling all over them but neither seems to care asthey continue beating one another. Meanwhile Rage is looking for a lightswitch along the wall and finds one.

Rage:"Hey guys? I got the switch."

Neither of them can respond however as they are both choking one another. Rageflips the swicth and the whole place lights up revealing it to be...theSerpentarium! And fighting right in the middle of a pile of snakes is...youguessed it...Helly and Foster. They take one look at the dozens of snakes onthem and scream in more terror then ever before. Even Rage screams as henotices that a good number of the snakes have gotten out and are crawling onhis shoes. SF and Helly run out of that snake pit only to continue fightingright near the Poisonous Frog exhibit (and yes i know they're not serpents butthey sure are slimy). SF kicks Helly in the nuts and then DDTs him right ontoa gardner snake, which promptly bites his head. Just as SF is getting up he istackled by a Thesz press executed by Rage. Rage then begins a flurry of leftsand rights into SFs already battered face. Rage picks SF up off the ground andthrows his head through the glass that encloses the poisonous tree frogs. Ragethen realizes his error and gets a look of "oh shit" terror on his face.Suddenly two frogs jump off their tree and attach themselves to his face. Rageruns around in terror screaming...

Rage:"Get them off!!! Get them off!!!"

SF quickly gets out of the exhibit and chases after Rage clotheslining him andgetting the frogs off his face before they can do any real damage. Helly nowstumbles after them holding his head. The three men fight all the way down acorridor and into yet another exhibit. The Artic Penguin Exhibit. Rage pullsSF by his hair up a set of steps to try and ram him into a door, but SF hitshim in the nuts and then rams his head into the door instead. Rage stumblesoff the set of stairs and falls face first onto the cold, wet ground. Now itsHellys turn..he charges at SF who opens the door and then does a drop toe holdon Helly, sending him face first into a pile of...snow?? Yep, its snow, and alot of it at that. These hapless guys have just found their way into thepenguin exhibit at the zoo! Helly rises to his feet only to be speared by SF.But instead of hitting the ground theyfall into a pool of 8 foot deep icywater. I mean like freezing water. The two men claw at one another under wateras Rage crawls his way into the exhibit.

Rage:"What the...snow...where the hell am i?"

Suddenly a King Penguin waddles over and bites Rage right on his nose. More of the penguins come over and now hes being full on attacked by penguins!Meanwhile SF tries to crawl out of the pool of icy water before hypothermiasets in, but Helly keeps pulling him back in and punching him. Rage is tryinghis best to fight off the penguins without hurting them too bad but when oneof them pecks at his miniscule schlonger its on! He acts like Mike Tyson andRay Finkle combined, he hits three of the penguins with uppercuts and thenpunts the remaining three across the room. One of them lands on the head Hellyknocking him back into the icy water from which he just recently escaped. SFnow gets out of the water and is immediatly met with a clothesline from Rage.Rage picks him up and attempts the Mindless Rage, which SF promptly blocks. SFflips Rage over onto his back and then picks up one of the dazed penguins andtosses it on Rage. The penguin goes crazy on the helpless Rage and SF takesthis moment as a chance to collect his thoughts. Not for long though as Hellyis back up and he grabs SF and throws him right through the glass window thatdisplays the penguins. Now SF is even more bloody and cut up, as he lies therein a pile of glass and snow. Helly jumps down off the display, which is about10 feet above the ground, and splashes SF, nearly breaking his ribs. Rage, whojust got down flinging the penguin across the room, now attempts to do asplash onto SF like Helly did. This time SF moves and Rage hits nothing butconcrete and shards of glass. Speaking of shards of glass SF now has aparticularly big one in his hand and hes on his feet wielding it at Helly. Helly takes a few hops backwards, avoiding the glass, but suddenly on histhird hop he corners himself up against another glass exhibit. SF smilesevily, and rams the shard of glass right into Hellys collar bone. Hellyscreams in intense pain as Foster twists the glass deeper into Hellys skin,making sure the wound won't heal quickly. Helly, still screaming, jams hisleft thumb right into SFs eye. Helly pushes the thumb as far as he can intoSFs eye until Foster can't take it anymore and has to let the shard of glassgo. SF stumbles back holding his eye, which is now bleeding and almost out ofits socket due to the intense pressure Helly applied to it, and Helly seesthis as an oppurtunity to pull the glass from his collar bone. Rage, nowalmost fully recovered, spears SF and then goes for the steel chair he seessitting in the far corner of this place. Meanwhile Helly is trying hisdamndest to pull the glass from his body. One more pull and he might haveit...oh no! SF just rose to his feet and lunged at Helly pushing the glass ineven deeper. Now Helly lets out a roar of such intense and excrutiating painthat it rivals the roar of the tiger in decibel levels. As SF twists the glassagain Rage nails him over the back of his head with the steel chair, knockinghis right eye even further from its socket. In fact his right eye is bulgingout and one more hard hit to the back of the head could send it hanging fromjust a cord of skin. Rage rams the end of the chair down into SFs rib cage,shattering one of the ribs and bruising the others. Helly is unable to helphis partner Rage however as he is still in such pain from the glass and losingso much that its difficult for him to stand. Rage lifts SF to his feet and isabout to execute a move when SF punches him square in the jaw and thenexecutes a russian leg sweep. He then goes over to Helly, whos still on theground, and grabs him by his right arm and with his foot pushes the shard ofglass so deep into his skin and bone that you can almost not see it anymore.All this time hes also pulling on Hellys arm trying his best to possiblydislocate it. Helly is now past the screaming stage and into the crying inpain stage. He moans and cries and does his best to yank the glass from hisskin, however every time he moves his body feels like its being shocked with atazer. Rage now picks up the steel chair and flings it at SFs head, nailinghim right in the forehead and knocking him off his feet. Rage then picks SF upand does a few knife edge chops to his chest before setting him up andexecuting a power bomb. Rage goes for the first pin in the match. And would yabelive it a ref was here the whole time? 1....2.....kickout! Man this Fosteris tough. Helly has now somehow made it to his feet and the two Riot Squadmembers pick SF up and are going to attempt to use his head for a batteringram. They run about 10 feet down the corridor and wham! SFs head pops open themetal door leading to the outside world. Or at least the Llama Exhibit. Rageonce again goes for the cover. 1...2...kickout! This is starting to make Hellyand Rage a little angry. They lift SF off the ground and begin taking turnspunching him in the mouth and laughing, although Helly winces every time hethrows a punch. SF appears to be out on his feet until he somehow gets a surgeof adrenaline. He grabs both Rage and Hellys heads and rams them together.Then he clotheslines Helly over the barricade which holds the Camels andLLamas in and then does the same to Rage. As they're trying to get to their feet and regain their senses SF yanks one of those little gum ball machinetype feeders right out of the ground and hops over the guardrail into thellama pen. SF swings his new found weapon with seemingly wild abandon,clocking Helly right in the side of the head with it. The cheap glass shattersand all the LLama food spills out onto the ground. Immediantly the threeLLamas in the pen run over to the food and begin eating it up. SF now jabs themetal part of the feeder into Rages neck,causing him to cough and spit up someblood. As Rage is doubled over in pain one of the llamas takes its hind legsand kicks him right in the mouth causing him to fly back about 3 feet and fiveof his teeth to fly back about 10. Meanwhile Helly has gotten to his feet andhe too has pulled one of the feeders out of the ground. He swings it at SF butSF holds his up and blocks it. Now its almost like a swordfight as Helly keepsjabbing it and SF keeps blocking it. Suddenly Rage charges SF again and theboth of them go flying over the barricade. SF didn't even get the worst of itthough and hes back on his feet quickly. However the second he stands up he isnailed over the head by Hellys metal feeder and he falls back nicely into thepin Rage has set up for him. 1.....2.....he kicked out again! Rage lifts SF upoff the ground only to be hit with a sharp uppercut from him and then liftedoff his feet and dropped neck first onto the steel guardrail of the Llama pen.Rage coughs up some more blood and teeth, and then vomits. He sits theretrying to breathe and not choke to death on his own vomit. Meanwhile, Hellyhas made his way over the steel guardrail and he swings the metal feeder likea basebal bat at SFs head. SF grabs the feeder and quickly jabs it intoHellys already broken nose. Helly grabs his nose in pain and completly letsthe feeder go. SF gets behind Helly and winds up like Babe Ruth knockingHellys head outta the park. Well actually all he did was knock the back of hishead so hard he lost three teeth and fell face first into the guardrail, butyou get the picture. As the near unconscious Helly stares over the guardrail one of the Llamas adds insult to injury by spitting right into his eye. Helly stumbles backwards and is quickly rolled up by Foster. Rage is still chokingon what he ate for breakfast, so he can do nothing for his helpless partner. 1....2....3!!!! Its over!!! Finally!!!

WINNER SEAN FOSTER via LLAMA SPIT

Suicide King: "Damn that was a long match. But hey, you guys should look into signing up those penguins for the tag division. They could probably take out any team ya put up there. Aside from me and Cyris of course."

Jon: "Yowza, they're gonna be feeling the effects of that match in the morning, I'm here to tell ya."

Suicide King: "And i'm here to agree with ya. Although having a chunk of his flabby ass torn out may have actually cured Rages hemmorrhoid problem. So ya know hes got that going for him."

Jon: "And how, exactly, are you in posession on information pertaining to Rage's hemmorrhoidal tissue, I'm wondering."

Suicide King: "Uhh well...umm..so whats the next match?"

Jon: "No, really, I'd like to know. Please share with the world."

Suicide King: "No no thats not necessary...wow..umm..that Fang. Whoaaaa daddy..that guys uhhh...h-hes good. Oh boy. Is he up next?"

Jon: "No, actually it's Lonewolf vs Mike Steele, whoever the hell they are."

Suicide King: "Oh good a special treat for the fans...a crotch sniffer and an unemployed steel worker battle it out. This is why i love wrestling folks."

Jon: "Well, let's just see what they've got to offer."

Lonewolfe vs Mike Steele

The camera begins to make its way to the outside of the infamous EWA arenaas hundreds of fans get as close as possible to the area set up. Classicalmusic begins to play as Lonewolf makes his way out in the parking lot. Heis carrying a baseball bat, and a garbage can full of various weapons.Followed behind him is Dingo, who is carrying a few tables as the crowd boosthem out. Then, "One Vision" by Queen starts up and "Iron Man" Mike Steeleruns out to the parking lot. The bell immediately rings as Steele chargesat Lonewolf, who is looking the opposite way. The crowd gets in a frenzy asSteele crushes Lonewolf with a football tackle. Ooh, Lonewolfe hits thepavement hard! Steele quickly lifts up his foe and slams him onto theback of an old pickup truck. The crowd begins to chant "Iron Man, IronMan", as Steele climbs on the hood. Mike jumps off, but Lonewolf moves outof the way! Steele lands hard on the back of the truck as Lonewolf picksup a chair. LW sets up the chair near the truck as he grabs Mike Steele.Lonewolf gets a head of steam, and jeez! LW bulldogs "Iron Man" off thetruck and onto the steel chair! The crowd screams in delight as Steele isbusted WIDE open. Lonewolf jumps on him and covers. One...two..no! Steelemanages to get the shoulder up in time..

Steele slowly gets back upon his feet, but Lonewolf nails him with a steelchair! The "Iron Man" is bleeding like a pig in this dangerous match! LW grabs Mike by the hair as he sets up the chair on the pavement. LW attemptsthe suplex, but Steele blocks it! Steele turns it around and suplexesLonewolf on the chair! What a manuever! Steele goes for the cover...One...two..no! Lonewolf kicks out and gets back onto his feet. Steelegrabs LW by the arm and whips him into the crowd of fans! Lonewolfsmanager, Dingo runs over near him as he attempts to help. Steele gets inthe way though and throws Dingo even further back! The crowd cheers loudlyas Steele grabs a fallen LoneWolf. He gets ready to lift him up, but LWhits a low blow!! Steele screams in a high-pitched voice as he falls to hisknees.

Lonewolf distracts the ref as Dingo seems to be talking to some large fan.Dingo pulls out a large sum of cash, and hands it to this.... fan! What isgoing on here?!?! The fan grabs the money, and begins attacking MikeSteele!! Lonewolf has the referee distracted as this huge fan pummels theIron Man!! Boos are heard as Steele lays on the ground badly hurten. Thefan and Dingo walk away as LW walks towards Steele. LW lifts up Steele andheaves him on top of his shoulders. He hits a bonecrushing spinebuster onthe ground, causing Mike to scream in agony. As Steele lays on the ground,LW sets up a table right next to him. LW then lifts up Steele and puts himon top of it! Oh no... This doesn't look too good if he hits it. LW is ontop of a large truck as the fans grow silent as to what is going to happen.He jumps, but Steele manages to get out of the way! Lonewolf crashes downthrough the table and lays on the ground. The tables are starting to turnthe opposite way now as Steele gets up to his feet. Iron Man grabs thesmaller foe and lifts him up on to a flatbed truck. Steele grabs LWand...oh my!! Steele whips LW through the back windshield of the truck!!!Both men are bleeding pretty bad, as Lonewolf slowly gets out of the truck..Steele has a chair in his hand and swings at LW, but he ducks. Steele smashes the side of the truck, hurting his hands as he does so. Lonewolfsneaks up behind and hits a beautiful dropkick! Steele goes crashing downto the pavement hard, as Lonewolf climbs onto the hood of the truck. Rightafter Mike hits, LW leaps off the truck, splashing the Iron Man!! LW goesfor the cover, but quickly decides not to as he calls Dingo over.

Lonewolf tells Dingo to set up a table as he beats on Steele. Dingo grabs a table and sets it up right next to the truck they were just on. LW kicksSteele in the groin, then bulldogs him on the back of the truck! LW goesfor it again, but Steele blocks it! Steele goes for a back suplex, butthats blocked by LW! Lonewolf blocks the suplex and flips over top ofSteele. LW stands behind Steele and SHOVES him through a small window!Lonewolf quickly grabs Steele out from the glass and punches him a fewtimes. LW motions for Dingo to slightly move the table, as he grabs Mike bythe neck.. Oh my gosh!!! Lonewolf DDT'S Mike Steele off of the truck andthrough a table! Lonewolf gives a big howl and puts on the Midnight Howl.He covers with the bridge as the ref counts. One...two...three! Lonewolfgets the victory.

Winner: Lonewolf via: Midnight Howl

SK: "Doesn't look like they had much to offer Jonny. Oh well i'm sure as long as they're getting paid they don't mind looking like fools. I know i don't."

Jon: "I sure don't have a problem with it. Tell me, Mr. King, what was it like passing that kidney stone a couple weeks ago?"

SK: "Oh it was quite an ordeal..thing was the size of a baseball Jonny. But why share all that here, when i can easily charge you all for it when my next book comes out. Yes folks, i am in the process of writing another book. This time about me and my wonderful existence on this planet. I call it "If Everyone Were Like Me This World Would be a Better Place." And thats so true Jonny."

Jon: "You know what? I believe that you believe that."

SK: "Why Jonny..you say that like its a bad thing. Of course i belive it..why else would i write it? Oh and folks...i don't skimp on the details like some other biographies. No i detail my torrid love affairs with Madonna, Cindy Crawford, and Janet Reno. The Reno chapter comes with a vomit bag, which i think is gonna come in handy after i tell you about what me and her did together. Whoaa daddy...crazy stuff. Shes a lot kinkier than you'd expect Jonny."

Jon: "How frightfully interesting. I once had a little fling with Connie Chung."

SK: "Oh i know..i still have the video in fact. Mind teaching me that French flipper trick you used on her after the show?"

Jon: "Actually, I'll teach you now. We've got the rookie Battle Royal up next. That should give us plenty of time."

6 Man Rookie Battle Royal

The lights begin to dim and thousands of chanting fas are yelling EWA rules!!!!!!!! GNW sucks!!!!!! As the referee steps into the ring, The lights and the camera begin to die down just a bit and suddenly from the speakers "Hey Suburbia" by. Screeching Weasel begins to play and out of the entranceway steps out Jerry "the Viper" Micheals, rasing his hands and hitting a few high fives, he makes his way down to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope. The lights go slightly dim again and "Hey" by. Suicide Machines begins to play. Out from the back steps Suburban Knight. He slowly begins to strut his way down to ringside. As soon as SK gets to the ring "Hows It Gonna Be" by 3eb begins to play and out comes "Bomber" Billy Thompson as he runs down to ringside fireworks spray off of the ramp way and he slides under the bottom rope. He continues running over to the top right hand turn-buckle jumps up and plops himself down and begins to study Viper and SK. The Viper is pacing back and forth in the ring waiting anxiously with his hands placed firmly on his hips. Sk is leaning against the turnbuckle in the opposite corner from BBT. Suddenly the three turn towards the entrance way and over the loud speakers can be heard a loud click and blowing of flame, and then a fresh new remix of the "Miami Vice" theme kicks in and out struts "Mad" Matty Ramerio. MMR begins walking his way downto ringside glaring at all of the fans. Once at ringside MMR decides to circle it an examine the other 3 wrestlers who have already mad there way to ringside. He jumps up on the apron and smacks SK in the back of the head and flips him off as he hops down and walks to the other side of the ring struting. He stops by the stairs as the lights begin to go slowly out.\par Suddenly, hanging from the rafters a Large silouette of a Phoenix catches on fire. Out of the entrance way walks Phoenix heading towards the ring. A figure of a man can be seen \par at the enterance way that looked as if he was going to escort Phoenix down the isle but stopped??? Phoenix makes his way down to ring and immediately jumps up on the apron. Viper comes flying out of nowhere with a vicious jump kick that sends Phoenix flying through the air and Phoenix hits the back of his head hard against the guardrail. The other 3 wrestlers in the ring begin pounding on each other as Viper does a Suicide Dive over the top rope landing on Phoenix as he begins to stand up. As the camera pans around Langdon Moore is seen running out of the enterance way towards Viper with a chair. As he reaches Viper he pulls back and ...

WHAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

Hits Viper hard in the back of the head with the chair. Viper falls to the ground holding his head. The referee is trying to get all of the wrestlers in the ring for the match to begin. It appears inside of the ring SK and BBT are joining forces and tag teaming on MMR. SK throws MMR into the ropes and hits him with a power slam. As MMR tries to get up he is hit with a hard boot to the side of his head by BBT stunning him. Outside of the ring it looks as if Viper is down holding his head. Lang walks over and begins slapping Phoenix, but Phoenix, slightly stunned shakes it off and slaps him back sending Lang to his knees. Phoenix grabs the kneeling Langdon by the throat and launches him hard into the ring post. Langdon smacks off of the Post and falls to the floor face first. Phoenix walks over to the very stunned and apparently half out of it Langdon and toss him under the bottom rope and gets back into the ring. Viper is still down on the ground holding his head that appears to be badly cut open although he appears to be attempting to get to his feet. As Phoenix steps into the ring he is caught with a vicious clothesline by SK thats sends him hard to the mat. It looked as if Phoenix was almost snapped in two. BBT picks Langdon up and launches him against the far ropes and MMR runs and jumps off of the middle rope as if they were going to Criss-cross, but instead he leaps in the air and grabs Langdon by the head and a loud BANG!!! can be heard around the arena as MMR hits an airel Spinning DDT sends Langdon flying upside down on his head. Langdon is lying down on the ground shaking in pain. Viper appears to be re-entering the ring and the match officially begins as the refree steps out and calls for the bell to Ring. The Match is under way!!!!

Viper runs in and goes right after Langdon who is Lying on the mat still stunned from that amazing DDT. He picks Langdon up and hits flips him and hits him with a Step Side Suplex. Langdon is an extreme pain as the welts are beginning to show on his back. BBT and SK appear to be teaming up now on MMR trying to toss him over the the top rope causing him to be eliminated. MMR is almost out of the ring, he is hanging on to the bottom rope for dear life and locking his legs on the turnbuckle. They continue to pry at his feet. Phoenix, stands up a little shaky, runs full speed and hits SK with a running elbow to the side of his mouth launching several of SK's teeth flying into the stands. Someone in the front row gets slapped in the face with a blood clot. Sk falls to the mat holding his mouth and blood begins flowing out in a mini-stream. This has also caused BBT to turn around and concentrate on trying to eliminate MMR who is still holding on himself. As Phoenix picks up SK, he throws him between his legs and Wham he hits him with a crushing piledriver. A loud snap can be heard and SK doesn't appear to be moving. On the opposite side of the ring it appears that Viper is attempting to pick Langdon up. As he grabs Langdons head and begins to pull him up, Langdon balls up his fist and sends it flying into Viper lower regions causing him to fall down in pain holding his lower manly regions. MMR is trying very hard to get himself to fall safely on the apron of the ring without falling out. BBT begins kicking the feet of MMR and he is almost out but somehow he is hanging on. As Phoenix see that MMR is almost out he waives to a man in the crowd, the man suddenly hops the guardrail and grabs a nearby chair. The man appears to be DEMON. He begins sneaking around the ring towards MMR. Phoenix immediatley goes over to the referree and spits on him. The referree looks up as he wipes the flem off of his face and a verbal arguement begins with him and Phoenix. As the referree is destracted Demon walks over to MMR who is trying to get back into the ring and he steps and swings as hard as he can and Smack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MMR screams in pains as the chair lodges between his shoulder blades causing him to let go of the top rope with his feet and he lands head first on the apron and flips completely out of the ring. Demon throws the chair in the ring and hops over the guardrail and heads out of the arena area towards the back lot. Once BBT sees that MMR has been eliminated he walks over to the arguing Phoenix with the chair in hand. BBT taps him on the shoulders. Phoenix stops arguing and spins around quickly, Snap!!!!!! Phoenix is met face first with a vicious chair shot from BBT that causes him to Flip out of the Ring and onto the Floor. The referree notices that both MMR and Phoenix have been eliminated. They both are forced to make there way to the back to the dressing room area, and it appears that there are only 4 men left in the ring, 1 of which is standing, the other three are on the mat.

BBT appears to be struting and dancing in the ring with the chair. He hops up on the top rope and holds the chair up and is yelling as 2 men have just been eliminated. Viper and Langdon both get to there feet about the same time and it seems that BBT is too busy taunting the crowd to have noticed that the men have stood up. Both men walk over to BBT as he is facing the crowd and standing on the 2nd rope. Langdon and Viper turn to each other with a very pissed off expression and then walk over to BBT and each man grabs one of BBT upper arms and they step back and heave him in the air causing him to drop the chair in the ring as he lands about 4 rows back landing on a large man. Infuriated the man picks BBT up and throws him back over the guardrail bouncing him off the bottom part of the ring apron. A very sickening Thud can be heard all around the arena and BBT has officially been eliminated. Bleeding from a large gash on his forehead he hobbles back to the dressing room area, and the match continues.

As Viper and Langdon step back and face each other, Viper turns and kicks Langdon in the stomach and then bounces off the ropes and hits Langdon with a jumping knee lift striking him hard to the stomach, Langdon bends over holding his stomach in pain. \par Viper walks over to Langdon, after wiping the blood off of his face and attempts to pick him up for the Powerbomb. He places Langdon's head between his legs and is about ready to lift When SK comes out of no where and clips the leg out from under him causing him to fall back and Langdon rolls on top of Viper. Sk stands up and grins as Viper who is rolling around in imense agony holding his leg. Langdon stands up and turns to SK who holds out his hand as if offering for a gesture of friendship. Langdon thinks for a minute and as Langdon reaches out to take SK's hand and he grabs it and hits SK with a clothesline that about put him through the ring. Sk is down. Langdon pick Sk up and throws him into the corner and begins kicking him over and over again. Langdon spins and hits SK with a Cresant Kick to his left cheek. Sk collapses in the corner yelling.}

As Sk slams down on the mat Viper makes it to his feet and he picks up thechair that was lying next to him. Lagdon reaches down and picks up SK whois pretty much unconscious. Barely standing without the help of Langdon,SK is helpless. Langdon bends down and picks up SK and sits him down on thetop rope. As soon as he places SK down Viper runs in full speed with thechair held back ready to strike. Viper swings the chair as hard as he canand

WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

Langdon ducked and Sk took the shoot right in the face sending him tumblingover the top rope and down to the cement floor. Sk landed on the floorface first and he appears to be unconscious, his leg is twitching and hehas been officially eliminated. Viper is standing in the ring holding thechair to his side stunned as he looks down at SK. Langdon, seeing an opening pokes Viper in the eyes and yanks the chair clean out of his hands. Viper appears to be holding his face and he is spinning around trying tofind something to grab onto. Langdon pulls back and cracks Viper acrossthe backwith he chair several times sending him to the mat. Viper istrying to stand, but gets slammed upside his head again with another chairshot sending his bleeding and beaten body to the mat once again. Langdonraises the chair to the crowd and un-folds it facing the Top Turnbuckle. Landon picks Viper up off of the ground and flings him into the turnbuckle, Langdon follows him in and almost tears through him with a powerfulspear. As Viper leans over holding his stomach and about to vomit, Langdonpicks him up and sits him down on the top rope. He walks up behind him andthey both are standing on the top turnbuckle. Viper appears to be almostout of energy and Langdon signals for the "Face-Plant". He bends Viper'shead down and leaps 3 feet in the air spinning and hits Viper with the"Face-Plant" off the top rope onto the steel chair. Viper's body crashesoff the chair and causes the steel chair to snap into 3 bent pieces and Viper is cut open on the other side of his face now and appears to bebleeding very very badly. Langdon gets to his feet and picks up the beatenand mangled Viper and tosses him over the top rope. Viper lands on theconcrete floor a bloody mess and has been officially eliminated.

Langdon wins via Face Plant and last man in the ring!!!!!!!!!

SK: "Good lord sir! Okay so let me get this straight...do i pinch before i wiggle or is it the other way around?"

Jon: "Actually, either way will work, but I've found that the ladies prefer the pinch first. I think it has something to do with the way it....oh piss, we're back."

SK: "Oh whoops...welcome back folks. What a match eh? Course i was getting sexual etiquette lessons so i didn't catch most of it. (whispers) We'll discuss later."

Jon: "(whispers) Gotcha. (normal) So, another fantastic match in which something interesting happened, however, as usually, no one really paid that much attention. Jeanie, who won that match? ... Oh, really? ... Interesting. Jeanie says that Langdon Moore won that match. I never would have guessed."

SK: "Oh sure that comes as a huge surprise. I mean look at his competition..two Helen Kellers, a wanna be pimp named Ramrods, a guy from Arizona, and a guy who kisses the Riot Squads ass so much you'd think he was a member. Needless to say i had my money on Langdon all along. And now that hes won something mabye can finally afford that '78 Pinto hatchback he had his heart set on."

Jon: "Indeed he can, maybe even something like a nice Jaguar. No, he proabably wouldn't want one of those. You know what they say about Jaguars, don't you?"

SK: "Whats that?"

Jon: "Jaguar, the car for men who want handjobs from women they don't even know."

SK: "(laughs, rim shot.) Somebody give this man his own talk show....i mean come on Magic Johnson has one for Gods sakes. Why not Jonny Marx?"

Jon: "I think I'm a bit to unconventional for those network executives to handle. Kind of like our next match. Rob Riot vs Wayne Rothschild."

SK: "Oh this one should be a real barn burner folks. Waynes slowly going insane and Rob...well he has the mental capacity of fecal matter. But damn if we don't all like the guy! Right Jonny?"

Jon: "Um, yeah, sure. Let's just see what happens in this match, shall we?"

Rob Riot vs The Train

The lights go out...and the spotlight focuses on the ring only. Suddenly, "Electric Head Pt. 2" by White Zombie begins playing as the electric chair isbeing elevated from the rafters, to the center of the ring. The fans go intoan uproar. The announcer begins to speak...

Announcer: The following contest is a no-holds barred, anything goes free forall. The only way to win is by putting your opponent in the electric chair,strapping him in, and then going to that corner of the ring...and pushing theswitch. Now, the competitors...

"Vietnow" by Rage Against The Machine blares over the speakers. The fans begingoing into a neutral pop. Rob Riot walks down the isle with an arrogant lookon his face.

Announcer: Coming to the ring at this time, representing the RiotSquad...weighing in at 263 lbs...standing at 6' 3"...this is...ROBRIOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!

Riot gets into the ring and begins pacing around, waiting for The Train.

Announcer: Now, his opponent...he is the master of the Train Wreck...weighingin at 277 lbs, and standing at 6' 5"...THE TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNN!!!!!!

Train runs immediately into the ring, and gets hammered by Riot...Riot takesTrain by the hair and slams his head against the arm of the electric chair.Train quickly recovers and nails Riot in the midsection...Train whips Riotinto the ropes, and Train powerslams Riot to the canvas! Train picks up Riotby the hair and places him in the electric chair, and tries to strap him in,but Riot kicks Train right in the nuts, and then in the face! Train backsup...RIOT CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!! Riot runs towards theropes...SUICIDE DIVE ONTO TRAIN!!!!! OH MY GOD! Train is out! Now, Riot, issearching for something under the ring...he pulls out...a LADDER!!! Trainpulls himself up with the steel guardrail...he doesn't see Riot with the ladder...OH MY!!! Riot naild Train with the side of the ladder! Riot throwsthe ladder into the ring, and then Train into the ring...Riot picks upTrain...it looks like he's going for a side suplex...but Train reversesit...he pushes Riot right into the turnbuckles! Train begins wailing away onRiot's lower back! Train pulls Riot out of the corner...picks him up in theair over the ladder...OH MY GOD! He dropped Riot on the ladder, and Riot hitshis head hard on one of the steps! He's busted open! Train picks up Riot...andcrotches him on the top rope! Riot slumps back...TREE OF WOE!!! Train sets upthe ladder by Riot's face...you don't even have to imagine what comesnext...Train baseball slides the ladder right into Riot's face! Riot is goinginto convulsions while he's upside down in the tree of woe...Riot finallypulls himself up...Train takes him off the top rope...ATOMIC DROP!! Riot goesflying right into the electric chair again! Riot is dazed and bleeding...Trainpicks up the ladder from the corner...it looks like he's going to ram the topinto Riot's face...he backs up...NO!! Riot stops him, and the ladder reboundsand hits TRAIN in the face!! The impact sends Train flying onto the ringapron, and he begins spitting out blood, as the bottom of the ladder hit himright in the mouth! Look at the resiliance of the Train! He's not givingup...he's heading back in the ring, but Rob Riot already got off of Ol'Sparky...Riot takes the ladder...SUPLEXES THE LADDER RIGHT ON TRAIN'S HEAD!!! THE TRAIN IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN, AND SO IS ROB RIOT!!!! Riot leans against the ropes, and he's trying to catch is breath. Riot stumbles over to Train andpicks him up by the hair...Riot sets up Train on the top rope...somebodythrows a chair to Riot...Riot throws it down on the canvas...Riot goes up ontop, along with Train...HIS SIGNATURE MOVE!!!!! THE PILEDRIVER OFF THE TOPROPE ONTO A STEEL CHAIR!!!! Wait a second! What the hell is Riot doing? He'scovering Train!! The referee is reminding him that it's an electric chairmatch...Riot finally realizes this and drags Train over to the chair, and putshim in it...Riot walks over to the switch and prepares to press thebutton...he yells out, "WATCH THIS DICKHEAD MOTHERFUCKER FRY!!!!!"...wait, asecond...he thinks of something....he goes to the outside of the ring...hebrings in a large bottle of water...goes over to Train, who is slumped in thechair...he POURS THE WATER ALL OVER TRAIN!!!!! Now he tries to go over to thebutton...but Train gets a deathgrip on his arm! Train Russian Legsweeps Riot!Train sets up the ladder...the ladder is standing up...Train climbs, andclimbs to the top...he's standing at the top!!!! What's he going to do...OH MYGOOOOOOODDD!!!!!!!! CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER ONTO ROB RIOT!!!!!!IT LOOKS LIKE HE SNAPPED ROB RIOT'S NECK!!!!!!! Train picks up Rob Riot....itlooks like he's going for a sidewalk slam...NO!! HE SLAMS RIOT RIGHT INTO OLDSPARKY!!!! He strapped Rob Riot into the chair!!! Now, he goes over to theswitch...the fans are cheering "FRY THE BITCH! FRY THE BITCH! FRY THEBITCH!"...he presses it...suddenly, you hear a surge of electricity...thelights go off in the arena, and Rob Riot is going into convulsions on thechair! His eyes are going blank! OH MY GOD!!! Rob Riot slumps in the electricchair, and the lights turn back on...the EMTs come towards the ring to carryout the unconcious, and fried Rob Riot.

Winner: The Train via Frying Rob Riot

SK: "Rothschild with the not so stunning victory...man Robby trained mighty hard for the match, but it looks like the Riot Squad will never pull out of that life long rut they've dug themselves in."

Jon: "Indeed it does look that way. I've gotta tell ya, I'm anxious to see that Anal Probe match they are schedualed for. When is that Jeanie? ... Next week? Oh my, that's not alot of time for them to prepare."

SK: "Well i have a hunch they've been preparing for the anal probe match ever since they were confused little boys,licking the windows on the short bus to school. Not that i'm implying anything of course."

Jon: "Jeanie!? ... Not while I'm on the air. There will be plenty of time for that later. Sorry, Jeanie was getting a bit frisky. Anyway, yes, definatly a short school bus."

SK: "Whoa you're allowed to have hand jobs on the air? Damn, can i get this gig full time? I'll bring Crystal out here and we'll party til dawn,naked as jaybirds, drinking vodka and shooting up the place. Then i'd have a whole new chapter for my book too."

Jon: "Yes, indeed. Oh, I have some tragic news. Appearantly Chris Douglas, who was origially schedualed for this next match was injured in a freak chess accident, and is unable to wrestle against Verge Darsow."

SK: "Ouch..i know how those chess accidents can be. So whos taking on the worlds only 7 foot Vergen then?"

Jon: "Oddly enough, Tommy Grayson has offered his services in a non sexual manner so that this match would still happen."

SK: "Oh thats nice of him...and in a non sexual manner too. Wow, thats quite a change of pace for Tommy...good for you Grayson! Hopefully he can get over his loss to me and think about the matter at hand...beating up a 7'4 ex-con, whos never had sex."

Jon: "Let's go to the ring and find out."

Tommy Grayson vs Verge Darsow

"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play as Verge Darsow walks out of theentranceway. He is wearing a Death Row T-shirt that reads on the back "Wewill fight to the bitter end." He slowly walks down to the ring, however theconfidence the 7' 3" wrestler usually displays in not there. He enters thering and awaits his opponent.

"Terrible Lie" by Nine-Inch Nails starts up, and the crowd gives a tremendouscheer as "The Extreme One" Tommy Grayson walks out with his lovely valet,Patti D'Amour. Grayson's short black hair is wet and slicked back, his goateeis well trimmed as usual, and his brown eyes are stone cold as always. He'sgot on his black IoV T-shirt, black martial arts pants, black boots, and tapeon his fists.

Grayson is pulling a garbage can full of weapons to the ring. Grayson throwsthe trashcan into the ring while Patti waits outside. Grayson jumps into thering waiting for the bell to sound. The referee signals for the bell and thematch is underway. Grayson immediately goes for the trashcan, but Verge cutshim off and levels him with a huge clothesline. He picks up the fallenGrayson and slams him back down to the canvas.

Grayson slithers out of the ring and Verge steps over the top rope to givechase. Tommy begins to run around to the other site while Verge follows. Grayson gets to where Patti is standing and she gets between Tommy and Verge.VD is yelling for Patti to get out of the way and she slaps the big man in theface. Verge almost loses his cool and hits her back, but instead picks her upand moves her out of the way.

While Verge is distracted with Patti, Grayson takes the opportunity to throw avicious kick to Verge's leg. It hobbles the big man, but he does not go down.Grayson continues to kick VD in the back of the knee. He runs over and grabsa chair, smashing it into the side of Verge's knee, causing his leg to buckle.Tommy grabs the big man and rolls him into the ring. He climbs up to theapron, jumps up and uses the top rope as a springboard. He lands on Darsow'sleg with a vicious leg drop.

Verge struggles to his feet, while Grayson rushes at him. Verge grabs Tommyby the hair and nails him with a huge head butt. Verge tries to walk off thepain as Grayson uses the ropes to climb to his feet, slightly dazed. Vergegrabs a VCR out of the garbage can full of weapons as Tommy runs towards him.He smashes the VCR over Grayson's head, sending him backwards over the toprope and out to the floor. Grayson's head begins to bleed from shot as helies on the floor. Patti D'Amour rushes over to him to try to help her loverwhile Verge stands in the ring, raises his arms and lets out a shout as thefans react to the big man of Death Row.

Verge starts to exit the ring when suddenly Cyris comes through the curtain.He is walking towards the ring pointing at Darsow and yelling insults at thebig man. Verge steps back motioning for Cyris to enter the ring. Cyriscontinues to walk towards the ring when a large man jumps out of the crowd.It appears to be the same mask man that attacked Cyris during the last PPV.He is dressed in a black body suit and mask and is holding a black aluminumbat that he is pointing at Cyris. Cyris is backing up as the masked man comestowards him.

Cyris continues to back peddle closer to the exit when another man alsowearing a black mask and a T-shirt that says "Death Row Forever" comes throughthe ring entrance. This man is even larger then the other masked man and isholding a chair. Cyris does not see him and backs directly into him. Thisstartles the new member of DI who spins around and is met by a huge chair shotto the head by the masked man, sending him crashing to the ground. The largerof the two masked men picks up Cryis and whips him towards the other maskedman, who nails Cyris in the stomach with the end of the bat, doubling hisenemy over and then cracking him over the back with the bat.

Th larger masked man runs over with the chair and continues to beat on Cyris.The two masked men take turns beating on Cyris with their weapons. Cyris isbarely conscious and is bleeding profusely from his head. The onslaughtcontinues until finally the other members of DI present in the building comeflying out of the entrance. Both masked men see this and jump over the ring railing and make their way through the crowd as Connor Chambers, Suicide Kindand JD Freeman run over to help their fallen comrade.

The two masked men move towards the loge level of the EWA arena. The fans aregoing crazy and mobbing the two mystery men as the members of DI stare at themwith a look of hatred on their faces. The two masked men turn to each otherand you could swear they have smiles on their faces under the mask. The giveeach other hi-fives and then turn back towards the members of DI and give thema double "Stone Cold" salute before making their way out the entrance.

The members of DI pick up Cyris and carry him to the back so that he can getmedical assistance.

Meanwhile, the distraction has allowed Grayson to recover and he climbs intothe ring, picks up what looks like a bowling trophy and smashes it over theback of Verge's head, sending the big man crashing to the ground. Graysondrops down for the cover as the referee administers the count…1…2…3..no, VDamazingly lifts his shoulder up at the last second. Grayson cannot believeit and begins arguing with the referee. Grayson returns to work over hisopponent and begins stomping on VD's head.

He goes over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top and jumps off executinghis finisher, The Showstopper knee drop. Verge rolls out of the way andsomehow manages to climb to his feet, picks up the metal garbage can and cracks is over the head of Grayson, causing the gash on his head to worsen.VD picks up Grayson, whips him into the ropes and nails him in the face with abig boot. The big man's injured knee cannot support the weight and Vergefalls back to the canvas.

Grayson claws his way towards the turnbuckle as Darsow staggers back to hisfeet. Darsow charges at Grayson attempting a big splash. Grayson rolls outof the way at the last second, causing Darsow to nail his stomach into theturnbuckle. He staggers backwards towards Grayson. Grayson picks up a hockey stick that was brought to the ring in the garbage can and nails Darsowin the back. The force sends VD crashing face first into the metal turnbucklepole, causing blood to spew from his mouth.

Verge stumbles around dazed. Tommy jumps on his back and locks on whatappears to be the Kata Hajime submission lock. This must be the new finisherthat Grayson has been talking about, "The End." Verge is thrashing aroundtrying to get the painful hold off.

Verge is attempting to get to the ropes. He is blocking out the pain andslowly moving towards the ropes as Grayson hangs on his back. He is almostthere, but Grayson steps on the back of VD's knee causing the injured leg tobuckle. Verge falls forward onto his stomach as Grayson continues to applypressure. Verge has no choice but to tap out.

Winner: Tommy Grayson via The End

Jon: "Well, there you have it. Tommy Grayson in a non-sexual manner."

SK: "Although i did notice he used his "blatant groping of my opponents crotch" move on more than one occasions. Although i don't really think Vergen minded too much. He seemed to be smiling."

Jon: "He's very odd like that. Let's see, next on the list is a match between the actors that played Riot Squad in Nate Walker's now infamous RP vs the actor that portrayed Nate in Riot Squad's slightly less exciting Burger King Rp. What's you take on this match SK?"

SK: "Well i'm gonna have to go with the Riot Squad actors in this one. Its just a damn shame that the only Riot Sqaud members that can win are the people that impersonate them."

Jon: "I have to agree with you there. The preformance they gave in Nate's RP was superb. Let's just see if they can pull off an equally superb preformance here tonight."

SK: "Yes they were Oscar worthy to say the least. But damn the match check out that girl in the third row. Talk about a body! Whooaaa daddy...i say we bring her with us tonight."

The camera pans across the EWA arena as "Vietnow" by Rage Against the Machinebegins to softly play across the arena. Rob Riot walks out of the entranceway. Actually it isn't really Riot, but the actor who played Riot ina recent flash. He is dressed like a Roman senator, wearing a white toga and laurel wreath in his hair. He slowly waltzes down to the ring as the actorswho played Helldorado and Rage emerge from the curtain. The two actors aredressed in Shakespearean costumes and slowly walk to the ring.

The fake Riot grabs a microphone and pulls out what appears to be a faketheatrical dagger. He waves it around a few times and then points it towardsthe entranceway.

Riot: Friends, wrestlers, EWA fans, lend me your beer; I come to bury Walker,that little punk ass bitch, not praise him.

He twirls around a few times very dramatically and resumes his soliloquy.

Riot: The evil that men do oft lives after them, in Walker's case he won'tlive long.

As Riot rambles on "Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones plays over the PA.Nate Walker(look alike actor) come out looking like a certain prince ofDenmark. He is dressed in chain mail armor, is waving a fake sword around andis riding atop a white stallion. He pulls a microphone out from his cape.

Nate Walker: He that plays the king shall be welcome; -his majesty shall havetribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target.Walker parks the horse next to ringside, sheaths his sword and hops down. Heclimbs up to the ring apron and goes to enter the ring. His sheath getscaught on the middle rope and he falls flat on his face.. The look alike RiotSquad members bust out laughing at Walkers misfortune. The referee barelyable to control his laughter signals for the bell.

Helldorado picks up Walker and runs his head into the turnbuckle. He slams itinto the turnbuckle five more times before releasing Walker's head. Helldoradodrops down to both knees and lifts his arms to the heavens.

Helldorado: Of wounds two dozen old; battles thrice six I have seen and heardof; for your voices have done many things….

Helldorado does no see Walker get to his feet. He winds up and nails the fakeHelldorado in the nutz from behind. Hell falls on his face, squealing like asoprano.

Rage was not paying attention , Walker runs over and slams him across the backwith a double ax handle. He picks Rage up, whips him into the ropes andattempts a drop kick, but unfortunately for him, the chain mail that he iswearing weighs him down and he simply flops onto his back, hitting his head on the mat. Rage runs over and drops an elbow on him. He gets up and begins jumping up and down, quite happy with himself.;

Rage: Hast heavy substance; bleed'st not; speak'st ; ten masts at each makenot the altitude which thou hast perpendicularly fell: Thy life's a miracle -Speak yet again.

Rage, too busy reciting his line, does not notice that the actor playingWalker has gotten up. He picks up Rage and throws him out of the ring in thedirection of the horse that he rode to the ring. Rages hits the horse's assface first and appears temporarily stuck. He falls to the ground just as thehorse kicks back at him, sending him flying into far ring railing.

Riot sneaks up behind Walker and locks on what looks like a sleeper hold.Walker begins thrashing about, trying to get his opponent off of him. Walkergrabs Riot by the top of the head, drops down and nails Riot with ajawbreaker. Riot is rolling around on the floor holding his jaw. It doesn'tlook like he will be spouting any Shakespeare any time soon. Walker pulls a human skull from out of his cloak. He holds the skull up highin the air.

Walker: Alas, poor Riot! - I knew him. A fellow of infinite jest, of mostexcellent fancy(basically he's a fool): he hath bored me to death a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination, it is!

Walker takes the skull and cracks Riot over the head with it. The skullshatters into a thousand pieces. Riot gets up obviously not affected. Hedraws his fake dagger in rage and chases after Walker. Riot has an evil smileon his face as he makes mock stabbing motions at Walker.

Walker turns around, draws his sword and begins to chase Riot around the ring.The two actors begin a mock duel running around the ring after each otherlikes fools. The duels continues for about five minutes until Riot stabswalker and Walker runs the sword through Riot(actually it was just between hisarm and side. Riot grabs his side and begins to stumble around very dramatically.

Riot: It is here, Walker: Walker, thou art slain; no medicine in the worldcan do thee good; in thee there is not half an hour of life; the treacherousinstrument is in thy hand; unbated and envenom'd: the foul practice hathturn'd itself to me; Lo here I lie, never to rise again.

Riot stumbles around a few more times and falls the mat in a dramatic deathscene. Walker holds his hand over his fake knife wound and reaches the otherhand out as if he is about to fall

Walker: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee - I am dead, EWA, wretchedfans, adieu!

Walker stumbles and falls directly on top of Riot. The referee with aconfused and perplexed look on his face, drops to the mat and administers thethree count. Walker and Riot get up with big smiles on their faces as Rageand Helldorado climb back into the ring. They all grabs hands and bow as thecrowd is completely silent.

They begin to get angry looks on their faces and begin cursing at the fans asBobo the anti-social chimp runs down to the ring. He has a large back on andhe jumps into the ring. He four actors stare at the chimp and begin to laughhysterically. Bob calmly pulls a claw hammer out of the backpack, walks overto the actor playing Helldorado and cracks the clack end of the hammer rightthough, Helldorado's skull. Blood comes pouring out of his mouth and nose ashe slumps to the mat dead.

Rage runs at Bobo. Bobo calmly pulls out a .44 and shoots Rage right betweenthe eyes. The back of Rage's skull explodes as he dies instantly.

Riot and Walker stand there in terror as Bobo pulls out a wicked lookingmachete. Walker and Riot drop to their knees, begging for their lives. Boboraises the machete up and with a huge smile on his face, swings the macheteand lops both of the unfortunate actor's heads off. Bobo picks up the twoheads, shows them to the fans, then throws them into the crowd as the fansexplode into cheers and begin chanting "Bobo, Bobo, Bobo"

Winner: Bobo the Anti Social Chimp via Machete Chop

SK: "Wait a second...is that girl my mom? Oh God..i think i'm gonna be sick."

Jon: "That's your mom?!? Dear god, she's a hottie. You lucky devil, you."

SK: "Well now if you'll excuse me i'm going to be throwing up in the locker room right now. Oh and i'm also going to get ready for the ass whooping i'm gonna hand out to Jimmy Who?. Oh and when Nipples comes out to fight, tell him i said hi."

Jon: "I'll be sure to do that, or some junk. Let's go to the ring for a special interview or two."

SK: "(yells) Mom put your shirt back on!!"

(The fans are cheering like hell in the arena...you see signs like "DEMON SUCKS SK'S NUTZ!", "IOV RULES!", "HELLDORADO 4:69 I JUST SMOKED YOUR ASS!!",and "BURN IN HELL!!". Suddenly, a strange chant of "Pheonix is Raven! Pheonixis Raven!" starts. But all that is interrupted by the familiar theme song of"The Extreme One" Tommy Grayson, which is "Terrible Lie" by Nine Inch Nails.Patti D'Amour walks down the isle, leading "The Extreme One" Tommy Grayson,who is looking the same as usual, with his neat, short black hair, his stone-cold brown eyes, and his well-trimmed goatee. He's wearing his ring attire,which is an EWA t-shirt, black pants, and black and red boots. His fists arealso taped as well...Patti is looking lovely as ever, as she's wearing a brownlong-sleeved denim shirt over a low-cut black dress, which displays hercleavage very well. Tommy and Patti enter the ring, and Tommy grabs themicrophone from the announcer. He begins speaking in his serious voice, asusual.)

Tommy Grayson: "I told you people I would be here tonight. When I make apromise, I always tend to keep it. All of you know that. Right now, I'd liketo discuss several things going on in the EWA, especially a certain newcomerin here, which I'm going to talk about first. This is gonna be a fuckingshoot, so get the hell outta here if you don't wanna hear what I have to say.It's NOT going to be pretty."

"Okay, let's start off with Demon...this pathetic excuse for a wrestler comesout here, and thinks he can be on top in the EWA. Well, considering the kindof talent he has, he wouldn't make it into the bottom five in the rankings.This guy comes in, starts doing his shit, then suddenly, he sees CapitalPunishemt badmouthing Suicide King, and this Demon punk gets on his back andsays some bullshit like, Capital Punishment has a big yellow stripe down his back, he doesn't have the common courtesy to face me...what else is there? Oh yes, how the hell could I forget? He'll have to go AFTER Capital Punishment.And here comes the most stupidest comment of all...don't think because you'reon the top ten, it'll protect you from me, and 'you think you're high andmighty because you're in the top ten'. Well, Demon let me tell you what itmeans, okay? You know why he thinks he's all high and mighty? Because he'sbetter than you, Demon. He's better than you. You're not even on the damn topten list. I'm better than you. Everybody on that damn list is better than you.You stupid fuck. You come out dressed like O.J. Simpson, and you think you canintimidate people. But all you do is make a complete idiot out of yourself infront of everybody. What's that saying about you? It's saying you're nothingbut a piece of trash that needs to be taken out. But you know what made mesick the most, Demon? The fact that you wanted to be Suicide King's littleBITCH!" ::the crowd goes into an uproar:: "You're pathetic, Demon. You try tosuck up to that prick just to be in Devastation Inc. Let me tell you somethingabout D.I., Demon. D.I. is one of the most elite groups in the EWA, andthey're not gonna let in a pathetic piece of shit like you, who wants to actlike Stevie Richards to Suicide King. Demon says all this BS about SuicideKing, he says 'oh, he's a true champion!'. Let me tell you something Demon,true champs are guys like Fang, JD Freeman, and guys like me. I've held twelvechampionship titles in my whole career, and I've always defended them withpride, just like Fang and JD Freeman. I take a look at Suicide King, and Idon't see a champion. I see a two-bit, disrespectful punk wearing a piece ofleather with gold slapped on it, while Demon sees an infatuation. Demon, sucking up to Suicide King doesn't prove honor. It proves that you're a man,no, a moving sack of skin carrying bones with no pride and self-respect. APinky looking for a Brain to follow around."

"Now, this guy, Phoenix...have I seen this man somewhere before? He suresounds familiar. Look, I don't wanna insult Mr. Scott Levy, AKA Raven overthere..." ::the crowd goes into an uproar:: "...but go back to WCW where youbelong! Your talents aren't needed here, and we certainly don't need yourpyromaniac crap here either! Let me tell you people something. It's guys likeme, JD Freeman, Chris Douglas, Ray Simmons, Johnny Sledge, Sean Foster, andDirk Ryan who made it big WITHOUT gimmicks. We were proven to be moresucessful than those with guys who thought they were Roman gods, snake kings,guys who sat in the corner and whined, and guys who wore facepaint and thoughtthey were damn war gods. (Tommy begins circling around the ring and looking at the crowd.) "Now, Suicide King...that was a pathetic attempt for a shoot interview. Now,I'm gonna say a little something about you. Suicide King, you are such afucking MARK. Your fellow D.I. members are insulting you, and you just pass itoff, and say nothing about it. It's guys like you, that make guys like me feelbad for you. Remember when you were about to face me for the North AmericanCyber strap? Chris Douglas came out and made a few comments. He said youcouldn't take the belt by yourself. He specifically said, some of the othermembers would probably have to come down to the ring, knock out the ref, andpunk my ass. Don't tell me that's not a put-down, Suicide King. Like Demon says...if it wasn't for guys like Capital Punishment, you would be ExtremeWorld Champion right now. Let me add to that list. If it weren't for guys likeCapital Punishment, me, Ray Simmons, Johnny Sledge, Fang, Dirk Ryan, Cyris,and the world champ himself, JD Freeman, you would be Extreme World Champion.You WISH that the guys I mentioned, including myself, weren't around. If not,you would probably BE world champ. But, hey, what the hell does Demon know,right?"

"Before I go, I'd just like to say one more thing. The surprise IOV has instore for the EWA is coming up pretty soon. All I have to say is that thesetwo guys are probably two of the most talented wrestlers in the EWA. I reallyhated to see our good friend, Scotty Jaguar go, but hey, whatever he'sdoing...IOV wishes him good luck."

("Terrible Lie" cues up again, and Tommy Grayson and Patti D'Amour prepare toleave the ring.)

Suddenly, in the ring, Rob Riot and Helldorado grab the referee and throwhim out, then grab the mic. "All right, all you nocturnal desert rats, theRiot Squad has something to say!! Now, we've been hearing for months on endthat there's going to be tag team division, well, we're the best fuckin'tag team here, so we ARE the division!!"

The crowd begins to boo, sprinkled with a few cheers. Rob starts noddinghis head vigorously, playing up the crowd. Helldorado takes the mic whileRiot starts to strut. "Ever since we've been here, our raw TALENT has beenignored! We've been looked over, and it's NOT HAPPENING AGAIN!! We wantthis tag division started NOW!"

"I Fought the Law and the Law Won" booms out of the speakers and VP Artfulwalks out, a huge smile plastered on his face. On either one of his broadshoulders he holds a title belt, and Riot and Helldorado stare at them,practically drooling. Artful steps into the ring, and takes the mic fromHelldorado. "You know, gentlemen, you're right. We've treated you likeshit. So, to get this tag team division started RIGHT, I want you boys totake these belts and..."

Suddenly, an explosion is heard. The house lights go black, and a bright,white light streams from the entrance, causing everyone to shade theireyes, and striking directly at Rob and Hell. "HERE WE ARE, BORN TO BE KINGSWE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE" blasts out of the speaker at an almostdeafening volume, and two silhouettes appear at the entrance. As a rippingguitar solo starts, they run down and the house lights come up again, theentrance light cutting off. A man in white tights with kanji written downthe black stripes on the legs and blond hair braided in the back but shorton the front, and a taller man, in gold and red tights, long black hairstreaming out, sprint to the ring and roll in, standing in front of ashocked Riot and Helldorado. The shorter, blond man, who we now recognizedattacked Scotty Jaguar some time ago, grabs the mic, smirking.

"I don't think so."

Riot screams and rushes him, but the shorter man ducks, sending him flyinginto the taller man. Artful is in the corner, cackling. The dark haired manstarts slamming rights and lefts into Riots head, and the blond man risesinto a kick to Helldorado's gut. Artful picks up the mic.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you will know these men soon enough, but welcome "Iron Man" Stephen Daye and Jay "Wild Horse" Lange... BUSHIDO!!"

The crowd is on their feet already, cheering on the brutality in the ring.Bushido whips both Rob and Helldorado into each other, then both take themdown with clotheslines after they meet in the middle. Daye lifts Rob riotand slams him near the ropes, then climbs to the top rob and does asomersault leg drop! Artful calls out "DAYE BREAKER!" Lange liftsHelldorado and runs to the corner, vaulting of the first, the second, thethird turnbuckle, up on the corner post and finishes a German suplex!Artful cackles "RISING HEAVENS!!" Daye drags Riot, dazed, over to the end,and picks Helldorado up, setting them both up for a chokeslam... WAIT!Lange has vaulted onto the top rope and sprung off, twisting in the air...A DOUBLE KICK TO EACH OF THEIR HEADS!! Both men fall, and Daye spins aroundand finishes with a double elbow drop as Artful cries out, "FALLEN ANGEL,VERSION 2!!"

Lange and Daye walk to Artful and grab the belts and the mic. Langeaddresses the beaten, bloody men over the screams of the crowd. "You wantedthe tag division started, you got it."

Daye takes the mic. "So shut the fuck up now!" Daye slams the mic intoHelldorado, and both men walk out to cheers, "Princes of the Universe"blaring out again.

Jon: "Wow!! I don't believe it, Bushido is here!! It looks like the tag team division is really starting to heat up now. What do we have here? Train, come on up here."

The Train: "What do you want? I don't have a lot of time to kill, Marx."

Jon: "I just wondered if you mind sitting in for a bit of a chat? Let the fans get to know what's going on in that freaky little head of yours, that sort of thing."

The Train: "I don't think any of these fans really want to know what's doing on in the "Train's" head. By the way, is this show on network or cable television"

Jon: "I don't think they'd let us get away with half of the things we do on network television."

The Train: "Good thing, because I can't be held accountable for some of the things that my mind may drum up. Didn't you have some little hot piece of as..um..attractive women doing commentary before?"

Jon: "That was at the PPV. So tell me, what brings you out here? You're match was over quite a while ago, I would have thought you'd be at the complementary brothel in the back."

The Train: "Don't worry about why I'm out here. You really don't want to know and you may just live longer. If I knew you were going to call me over here, I probably wouldn't have come up. You must really be desperate for commentary to have me over here!"

Jon: "Well, let's not go into that right now. It's a long story. So, what do you think of our next match, Suicide King vs Johnny Sledge?"

The Train: "Suicide King is one hell of funny man and he has actually been one of the few wrestlers here who has said anything positive about me. He is also a tough wrestler and he proved that by beating Grayson. Sledge on the other hand is just a little puke. That little whiny baby, when I get my hands on him, he is going to know the true meaning of pain and agony. I expect to see SK retain his title in an easy match!"

Jon: "On that note, let's go down to the ring."

Suicide King vs Johnny Sledge

"Epic" by faith No More blasts through the arena as Johnny Sledge makes hisway out of the curtain to the a good reaction from the crowd. He is wearingblue wrestling trunks and an IoV T-shirt as he runs down to the ring, slappinghands with the fans. He jumps into the ring, takes off his IoV shirt andthrows it into the crowd.

The lights dim as "The Suck for Your Solution" by Marilyn Manson blares overthe PA. Sparks shoot up around the entranceway as the North American CyberChampion; Suicide King makes his way out into the arena. He is accompanies byConnor Chambers. The two men slap hands as Chambers returns to the back.Suicide King arrogantly struts to the ring with the N.A.C. belt strapped tohis waist, while the fans begin chanting "Suck my nutz." He enters the ring,removes the belt from his waist and raises it over his head before handing itto the referee. He goes over to the corner as the ring announcer introducesthe match.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, this next match is scheduled for onefall with a one hour time limit and is for the North American Cyberchampionship. Introducing first, the challenger, standing six feet tall andweighing in at 235 lbs., representing the Innovators of Violence, JohhhnnyySleeeeedddge.

His opponent and current North American Cyber Champion, standing six footseven inches tall and weighing 240 lbs., representing Devastation, Inc.,Suicide King!!!

The referee calls for the bell and SK and Sledge circle the ring, not quiteready to lock up. They come together in the center of the ring and tie up.The two men lock up in a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. The two combatants vie forposition, neither able to gain the strength advantage. The height andleverage advantage appears to be helping SK as he bends Sledge backwards.Sledge is bent back into a bridge as SK continues to apply pressure. Sledgefights back and works himself back to a vertical position, but SK raises aknee into Sledge's midsection.

He whips Sledge towards the ropes, but Sledge reverses sending SK into theropes. Sledge lead frogs over SK. SK comes back and Sledge nails a textbookarm drag sending King sliding out of the ring. SK paces around the outsideas the referee begins to count him out. He gets to seven before Sledge comesover and interrupts the count. SK climbs back into the ring and charges atSledge who side steps and nails a drop toehold, sending SK crashing to themat.

SK gets up and looks furious. He bangs his hands on the top ring rope andbegins arguing with the referee about tights being pulled. Sledge comes upbehind him and connects with a left to the jaw. He whips Sk into the ropesand drops his head expecting SK to go high. SK stops short and nails Sledgewith a nasty DDT. King gets up and has a smug smile on his face. He beginsdropping knees onto sledge's head. He picks up a leg and executes a halfcrab. SK arches back and Sledge lets out a yelp of pain, but refuses to quit.Sledge is able to reach the ropes and the referee forces SK to release thehold.

Sledge gets up holding his back. SK runs at him, but Sledge ducks, backdropping King out of the ring and sending him crashing into the ring railing.Sledge climbs to the top turnbuckle and flies off nailing SK with a corkscrewplancha. Both men hit hard on the outside and are slow to get up. Sledge isthe first up and begins hammering away on SK's head. He grabs SK by the hairand runs him into the corner ring post. Sledge picks him up again and whips him towards the ring steps. SK reverses it sending Sledge into the steps, hitting his back.

SK picks up Sledge and rolls him into the ring. He climbs to the topturnbuckle and flies off connecting with a missile dropkick. He drops down onSledge and the referee counts…1….2….3..no…Sledge gets his shoulder up at thelast second.

SK picks up Sledge into a fireman's carry runs and hits a Death Valley Driver.He goes for another pin, but Sledge is close to the ropes and puts his foot onthe bottom rope.SK picks up Sledge and whips him into ropes. Sledge comes back and hit aThesz press, sending SK onto his back. Sledge begins to pound away on theSK's head. He picks up SK in a front facelock and executes a vertical suplex.He holds SK in the air for what appears like minutes and finally sends himcrashing back down onto the mat. Sledge gets up and runs into the ropes andcomes back with a knee drop. Sledge locks SK in a headlock trying to slowdown the action. SK struggles to his feet and begins nailing Sledge in the ribs with forearm shots. SK runs into the ropes and both SK and Sledge crack heads and fall to the ground, each lying on their backs.

As the referee starts to count, someone comes out of the back and begins towalk down towards the ring. It's Jerry Michaels. He is wearing a pair ofwrestling trunks and an EWA T-shirt. He walks to the ring and stands on theoutside watching the action.

The referee is a 6 when both men begin to stir and they finally make it their feet and begin slugging away at each other in the middle of the ring. SK gets the best of the exchange and continues to hammer away at Sledge. He forces Sledge back into the turnbuckle and begins to put the boots to Sledge's midsection. He lifts sledge onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up andexecutes a devastating hurricanranna. SK goes over to Sledge and goes to puton the sharpshooter.

Jerry Michaels jumps up on the ring apron and the referee goes over to get himdown. SK releases the hold and moves over towards the Michaels. The refereemoves SK back. Michaels reaches into his trunks, pulls out a pair of brassknuckles and throws them in the direction of Sledge. Sledge picks them up andplaces them on his fist. The referee is still jawing with Michaels. SK doesn't see that Sledge hasbrass knuckles.

Sledge throws a punch at SK's head, but he ducks and nails a reverse DDT on Sledge. He picks up sledge and hits a German suplex that practically knocks Sledge unconscious. SK climbs to the top turnbuckle and flies off executing a moonsault right onto Sledge. SK lies on Sledge as the referee turns aroundand administers the 1…2….3

Winner: Suicide King via Moonsault

Jon: "Wow, what a..."

The Train: "I'll be right back, I have to go take care of something."

Jerry Michaels jumps down from the apron, grabs a chair, runs into the ringand cracks SK over the head opening a huge gash and sending blood spraying inall directions. Michaels rips off his EWA T-shirt revealing an IoV T-shirt underneath. He goes over and helps Sledge to his feet and the two mencontinue to batter SK.

A man runs out of stands, picks up a chair and runs into the ring. Oh my God,it's the Train. He comes up behind Sledge and nails him in the head with thechair sending him crashing to the ground. Michaels turns around just in timeto be met by another chair shot to the face.

He picks up Michaels and whips him into the ropes, grabs him on the reboundand hits a nasty power slam. The Train lifts up a limp Michaels, Irish whipshim into the turnbuckle and runs at him hitting a lariat. He sits Michaels onthe top turnbuckle, climbs up, throws him over his shoulder and jumps offnailing the Train Wreck. He picks up Michaels and throws him over the topturnbuckle.

Sledge is now just staggering to his feet. The Train picks up the chair againand cracks Sledge across the face with it. Sledge crumples to the ground.The Train picks up sledge's leg and locks on a sharpshooter. Sledge isscreaming out in pain, but the Train refuses to release the hold. It lookslike the Train is trying to end Johnny Sledge's career. Sledge is poundingthe mat in agony as referees and security comes out trying to get him torelease the hold. No one is able to get the Train to release it, but hefinally decides to drop the hold himself.

He exits the ring to a mixed response from the crowd. Some fans chant hisname while others stare in shocked disbelief that he would do such a terribleact.

EMTs come out to carry Sledge, Michaels and SK to the back.

The Train: "So Jon, who won that match? I go to the back to drain the lizard and next I see they're carting Sledge out on a stretcher!"

Jon: "Drain the lizard, my ass. The entire world saw you attack Jerry Michaels, Suicide King and Johnny Sledge. You...You should be ashamed of yourself. I've always wanted to do that to Johnny Sledge. You lucky bastard."

The Train: "Oh, yeah. You're right! That WAS me! It must have slipped my mind. I guess some guys are just lucky."

Jon: "Here's another lucky sod. JD Freeman has a special announcement. What are your thoughts on JD?"

The Train: "I can't believe I am going to say this, but JD is a great wrestler and a great world champion. He always keeps his opponents guessing and that goes for the president and the other VPs. The way he conned the executive commitee into making him a VP was beautiful. The way I see it, the only one who can beat JD Freeman IS JD himself."

Jon: "You know, I think you're right there, but don't you think throwing away his career for a desk job could be a mistake?"

The Train: "Who am I to say. Maybe he is scared of the "Train" just like everyone else. He would probably be safer as a VP. Maybe you can see if he can just hand that belt over to me. That might be the best thing he ever does as VP!"

Jon: "Maybe he will. Let's go to the ring and see what he has to say."

(Bonecrusher by Soul Hat jams over the sound system as JD Freeman makes hisway toward the ring. He's wearing a, rather nice, suit jacket over a shirtand tie that clashes dramatically with the faded blue jeans and Nikehightops. Freeman gets a mixed reaction from the crowd. Especiallyconsidering the recent events that have transpired. Freeman has a cockylook on his face a he moves the EWA Extreme Belt from his left shoulder, tothe right. Freeman reaches the ring and steps through the ropes, callingfor the mic as he does so. He walks to the center of the ring and standsthere a moment, scanning the crowd. Finally, he raises the mic and beginsto speak.)

Freeman: You know... since I was placed into my current position, there aretwo questions that have been asked of me continuously.

(Freeman reaches into one of his jacket pockets and pulls out two Yak-Baks.He raises one of them to the mic and hits the playbutton. A high pitched,accelerated voice is heard.)

Yak-Bak: What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonna happen to thetitle? What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonna happen to the title?What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonna happen to the title? What'sgonna happen to the title?What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonnahappen to the title? What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonna happen to the title? What's gonna happen to the title?

Freeman: And....

(He raises the other Yak-Bak to the mic and presses the play button. Thesame voice is heard.)

Yak-Bak: When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting? When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting? When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting? When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting? When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting? When is the tag division starting? When is the tag divisionstarting?

(Freeman rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he puts the Yak-Baks away.He raises tha mic, once again, and speaks.)

Freeman: Well, in answer to the SECOND question, I've gotten ahold of someinformation when I spie.. umm when I ATTENDED a couple of high levelmeeting in the EWA offices. And from what I was able to gather, thatquestion will be answered later on tonight. Now... on to the firstquestion. What is the status of JD Freeman and what will happen to histitle belt?

(Freeman chuckles, deep in his throat before continuing.)

Freeman: When I became the newst, and I might add, handomest VP to hit theEWA... I had to make a choice. Did I want to be a wrestler? Or a VP. But when you get right down to it, I had to choose the VP position, I meanthink about it. Just what kind of dama.. umm I meam GOOD. What kind of GOODwould a man like me, bea able to do in such a position? Needless to say...ALOT!! So, effective immediately, JD Freeman is no longer wrestling. Nowthat still doesn't answer the question about the belt, but I have one forya. You see, this belt is MINE! I fought for it, and I earned it. There isno way in HELL that I'm giving this thing up, and there's not a man alivethat can take it from me. So what's gonna happen? Will there be a new beltthat will grace the EWA? Who knows.... but I know one thing. This one isstaying right where it is!! And if you don't like it... then it SUCKS to beYOU!! Alright people, you've gotten your money's worth, I'm outta here!!

(The crowd begins booing, enthusiastically as VP Freeman makes his way backto the locker room area.)

Fang vs Capitol Punishment

The camera slowly pans around the crowd. The fans are eagerly awaiting thestart of the main event. The camera rests on the entryway as lighting isheard, followed by the sounds of an electric chair. The arena is filledwith boos as Capital Punishment walks out aside Miss Lisa. He makes his wayto the ring as...Demon walks out behind him! The fans start cheering, butDemon just looks down at Capital who hasn't seen him, walks to the guardrail, and sits down next to a cameraman. Capital and Lisa walk into thering. He says something to her as Fear Factory's "Zero Signal" blasts fromthe speakers and Fang strides towards the ring with the TV title fastenedaround his waist and Violet at his side. He holds the ropes for her toenter, then walks in himself. He hands the belt to the ref and stares at CPas the bell sounds.

CP warily walks towards Fang, but Fang just charges at him and hits aspinning heel kick, knocking CP down.He picks CP up, Irish whips him, andtakes him down with a drop toe hold. He stands up and locks in a reversefigure-4! CP thrashes around for a few seconds then reaches the ropes. Fanglets CP stand up, then takes him back down with a dropkick to CP's leftleg. Fang runs at CP and drops a knee onto CP's leg. CP uses the rops tostand and is once again charged at by Fang, but ducks down and elevatesFang over the top to the outside. He slides out and walks up behind Fang,and hits him with a Russian leg-sweep. CP sits on Fang's chest and starts pounding on Fang. A small cut can be seen forming above Fang's left eye, asCP picks him up and throws him into the guard rail. He charges and hits asplash! Fang falls to his knees as CP removes the steel ring steps. Hepicks them up to slam them on Fang, but Fang kicks CP's hurt leg out and CPfalls, dropping the steps on his own head! Fang throws him back inside andfollows him in.

CP crawls into a corner, but Fang grabs him, picks him up, and slams CP'sshin onto his knee. He then stretches the hurt leg out, and drops and elbowacross the knee! CP screams in pain, as Fang drapes his leg on top of themiddle rope. Fang goes up top, and leg drops CP's leg, landing on theoutside floor! CP is rolling around in agony, as Fang goes up top again andhits a swan dive! 1, 2, th--no! CP kicks out, as Fang grabs his leg, andlocks in the figure four! CP is waving his arms around, and finally grabsthe bottom rope. Fang releases the hold and stands up, as Miss Lisa callshis name. He turns around, allowing CP to come up behind him and roll himup! 1, 2, thr--NO! Fang jumps up but is nailed with a low blow from CP.Fang doubles over, and is powerbombed by CP! 1, 2, th--kickout! CP picksFang up, Irish whips him and clotheslines him down. He then picks Fang upand locks him in a sleeper! Fang struggles to break the hold but can't, hethen steps back and throws CP over his shoulders! He bounces off the ropesand drops a leg over CP's right arm! CP stands up and limps towards Fangbut is nailed with a roundhouse kick to the mouth! CP is dripping bloodfrom his lip and staggers into the corner, seemingly dazed. The ref turnsto check on CP as Flame runs down to the ring. He tries to sneak up behindFang, but Violet screams out at him. Fang turns around just in time to duckan uppercut and sweeps Flame in the right knee, bending it backwards makinga sickening crunch sound! Flame falls and rolls out of the ring. Hedesperately tries to walk back up the entryway, screaming in pain. Fangturns just as CP touches his lip, sees the blood, and charges at Fang, tackling him down. He grabs Fang's head and slams it into the mat 6 times.CP then jumps outside, and comes back with a chair! He sets the chair up,and DDTs Fang onto the chair! 1, 2, 3-NO! Fang kicked out!

CP grabs the chair again, folds it, and nails Fang across the back. He thentakes the chair to the top rope, tosses it at Fang, then jumps off anddropkicks the chair into Fang's face! He covers him! 1, 2, thre--NO! Fangraised his shoulder! CP slaps the mat, and picks the bloody Fang up. HeIrish whips him and hits a power slam! He then takes him up top, and callsfor the Judgement Drop! He sets up, but Fang ducks down and pushes CP downto the mat! He dives off and hits a missile dropkick! 1, 2, NO! He picks CPup and throws him in the corner, and hits him with two knife-edge chops drawing loud chants of "Whooooo" from the fans. Fang Irish whips CP to thecenter of the ring, and both men dive at each other, and clash heads! Bothmen are down...and the arena is suddenly filled with boos as the Riot Squadruns towards the ring! Helldorado slides in with a chair, and as CP standsup, Helldorado bashes it over his head! Fang is disqualified!

WINNER: CAPITAL PUNISHMENT via DQ

The Riot Squad is stomping on CP, and down comes Demon. He walks towardsthe ring, but stops beside Miss Lisa. She backs away, but he grabs her bythe arm and throws her into the guardrail head first! Demon runs back intothe locker room area, as Violet helps a bloody Lisaup, and takes her away. Meanwhile, the Riot Squad continues to beat on CP.Rage picks him up, and hits the Mindless Rage! Fang stands watching this,shakes his head, and walks away. Helldorado has just hit CP with theEleventeen, and look! Here comes Violent Dark! He jumps into the ring butis immmediately taken down by a lariat from Rob Riot. Now the Squad isstomping on Violent Dark! Rob just brainbustered VD onto a chair...andlook, Devastation, Inc. is coming down to the ring! Freeman, Chance,Chambers, Suicide King, Cyris, even Douglas is here! They're all stormingthe ring and beating on the Squad! Freeman charges straight for Rob Riot,kicks him in the gut and powerbombs him! Cyris and Douglas are working over Rage...Cyris picks him up, and hits the Death Sentence! Chance Charles justset a table up outside, he lays Helldorado on it and he and Chambers bothdive on Helldorado, senting pieces of wood everywhere! Suicide King is nowstomping on a knocked out Rage...and the fans are going wild...as theInnovators of Violence are coming down to the ring! Johnny Sledge justbashed a crush across SK's back, Grayson goes up top, and hits SK with theshowstopper! Simmons just nailed Freeman across the back with a chair, butDouglas sneaks up behind Simmons and hits a German suplex! The fans turntowards the entryway, as Dirk Ryan comes out! The fans are going wild! Ryantakes a few steps towards the ring, and stops. He's just standing in theentryway smiling! Back in the ring Freeman is up, he picks Rob Riot up,powerbombs him again, and locks in the modified Texas Cloverleaf! It's theDevastator! Cyris just hit Grayson with the Death Sentence, and here comesDouglas who locks Grayson in the End of the Line! Sledge grabs a chair though and hits Douglas in the back of the head! Douglas falls as Cyris clotheslines Sledge down! Chance, Chambers, Helldorado and Capital are all brawling outside, and here comes Phoenix! Phoenix dives on Capital but iscaught and choke-slammed! Suicide King now climbs the ropes, and hits amoonsault to the outside, landing on ALL 5 MEN!!! The 6 men are sprawledout on the concrete floor. Inside the ring, Freeman STILL has Riot in theDevastator, and it looks like Riot has passed out. Freeman releases thehold, and Rage crawls over to Riot, and carries him back into the lockerroom area. Capital gets up and doesn't see Miss Lisa, and runs back intothe locker room area, being chased down by Helldorado! Helldorado catchesup to him and slams his head into the guardrail a few times, and drags himback into the locker room area. Meanwhile, the IoV has gathered outside thering, and are looking up at Devastation, Inc. who are standing inside thering beckoning them to come in. The three IoV members spread apart andprepare to enter, as Death Row charges towards the ring! Verge slides infirst, blocks a punch from Chambers and hits him with the Lockdown! He sidesteps him and dives on Cyris! Both men are rolling around and trading punches. Drifter and Douglas are duking it out, here comes Chance, he taps Drifter on the shoulder, and hits the X-treme DDT! O.G. just slammed Suicide King and is stomping on him...as theIoV jump in the ring! Grayson sneaks up behind Freeman with a chair andknocks him down, he goes up for the Showstopper but misses! MeanwhileDouglas has Drifter locked in the End of the Line and Chance is stomping onhim! Verge is manhandling Cyris on the outside floor, he Irish whips Cyrisinto the guardrail. He charges at him but is elevated into the crowd! Cyrisjumps out after Verge and both men are fighting their way out. O.G. andKing are battling up the entrance ramp and back out of view, Johnny Sledge sees this and runs out after King. Chance and Douglas have set Drifter upon a table outside the ring, Chance runs at Douglas, who gorilla pressesChance over the ropes onto Drifter and through the table! Douglas slidesout and they both grab Drifter and are dragging him back towards the lockerroom area, followed by Simmons who grabs Chance by the hair and tosses himinto the crowd and follows him out of view. In the ring Grayson charges atFreeman, who catches him, picks him up press-style, and throws him frominside the ring out into the crowd! He looks down at the unconsciousGrayson for a while...then exits back into the locker room area.

Jon: "The horror! The horror! We're out of time! For everyone in the EWA, this is Jon Marx saing see you next week!"

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