November 22, 1998

EWA Presents

Extreme Measures

"Gentleman" John Charles - EWA, I am disgusted to have to come out here. I can't believe this troop of traveling jobbers had the nerve to come into my house. The smell out here is making me sick. It's not just the sick smell of that coward Artful T Dodger, it's the fact that the EWA product stinks. You should pay people to come in here.

I came out here for one reason and one reason only. Does anyone in the back have enough nerve to come to my show at the next WC RIOT PPV. I'm going to prove to the world just how pitiful EWA is. I want three of those child molesters wearing tights back there to go up against three of WC's finest in front of the world on PPV. Llet's see who got the skills. One more thing, you got this guy running around here claiming to be a champion. I've got a little message to him and his punk ass (covers his mouth) stable FEAR THIS!!!!!

The Squire continues to wave the banner as the "Gent" releases a dove that flies towards the screen and then the jumbo-tron goes blank

Artful: "Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and welcome to Extreme Measures! As always, I'm your host, Artful. To my left, the ever...involved, Richard Riley. How you feeling tonight, Rich? You all pumped up for that big title shot?

Richard Riley: "I'm feeling greaaa...[leans over and throws up into a wastebasket]."

Artful: "Fantastic. That's why we have that there. Okay, so, we've got ahuge lineup tonight, topped off by Richie here in a title match against Cyris. Some sort of crazy fun that's going to be. Also on the card, Detective Brown confronts Fang, anf Grayson and Sledge team up to face Death Row."

Richard Riley: [Face a little green] "I must have been that Chinese food I ate for lunch. I was feeling fine befoooo [Throws up again into the basket]. We do have great card tonight highlighted the big Global title match as Cyris takes on the fearsome...Oh God, it's me! [runs off camera and you can hear the sounds of retching]"

Artful: "I think I already mentioned that one, Rick. First up this evening is 4 Corners Dog Collar match featuring Dawgbone and Serial Killer. Nothing like a good dog collar match to start off an evening. Isn't that right, Ricardo?"

Richard Riley: [walks back to the table] "Yeah, dog collar, Serial Killer, Dawgbone, wonderful!"

Artful: "It won't be anything like your match later on tonight, will it? I mean, Cyris is gonna kill you, if you're lucky."

Richard Riley: "Thanks! You have no idea what your words of encouragement do for my confidence. Anyway, let's go watch this semi-entertaining match."

The fans in the EWA arena are murmuring from some inactivity. Suddenly, they turn their attention to the entranceway as Snoop Doggy Dog's "Murder Was The Case" begins to pump through the PA system. The spotlights shine to the entranceway, where Dawgbone makes his way down to the ring. He gets a mixed reaction of boos and cheers as he strides down the isle, with a confident look on his face. Dawgbone enters the ring, and waits for the entrance of his opponent, Serial Killer... the second "SK."

Suddenly, "Grand Finale" by Method Man begins to play, and Serial Killer walks down the isle, with a maniacal look on his face. The fans aren't really too fond of him, either. Serial Killer enters the ring, and he is just about to nail Dawgbone, but the referee holds him back.

The referee grabs the dog collars, which are connected by a long, heavy chain. The referee places it on Serial Killer's neck, and then on Dawgbone's neck. Dawgbone looks at the crowd, trying to gather some cheers. Just then, Killer runs towards Dawgbone, and knocks him right off his feet with a tremendous clothesline. Dawgbone spits out some teeth, and gets onto his feet... Killer picks up Dawgbone into an airplane spin-type position, and it looks like he's going for the win. He hits one corner... he hits the second corner... But Dawgbone gets off Killer's shoulders, and nails him with a low blow! The crowd reacts with an "OH!!!" Dawgbone capitalizes and begins to hit Killer with hard right hands... Dawgbone whips Killer to the other corner, but it seems that he forgot that they're both chained together! Dawgbone's head SNAPS foward as Killer hits the turnbuckle chest-first! Dawgbone collapses to the canvas, and he's not moving at all.

He might have snapped his neck in that incident, and the crowd is stirring as a result of it. The referee checks on Dawgbone, and asks if he wants the match to stop. Dawgbone, showing extreme resiliance, shakes his head "No." Killer gets a concerned look on his face... is this vicious human being actually showing some remorse for his opponent? Or is he just preparing to do some more damage on Dawgbone? Killer begins to tell Dawgbone to calm down, and that it'll be all over but suddenly...

>>>WOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!<<<

OH MY GOD!!!! Dawgbone just BLASTED a fireball right into the face of Serial Killer! Killer reels backwards in pain, as his face is literally burning up! Dawgbone gets to his feet, and laughs evilly. He begins mocking the crowd, which fell for his little game of "Possum"... Dawgbone puts Killer over his shoulders, and prepares to get the win... No... Dawgbone executes a Death Valley Driver on Killer, nearly knocking him unconcious. Dawgbone ties the chain around Killer's pharynx, which is potentially career-ending for Killer... Dawgbone picks up Killer and carries him to each corner... Dawgbone hits the first turnbuckle... he hits the second turnbuckle... he hits the third turnbuckle... the crowd begins booing like hell as Dawgbone is about to hit the fourth. He yells out to the fans, "FUCK YOU!!!! I'M WINNIN' THIS SHIT FO' MA' HOMIES, PEEPS!!!" and the smacks the fourth turnbuckle, with a victorious look on his face.

Winner: Dawgbone via having Better Coordination

Artful: "And there you have it. A win for whoever won that match. Someone did win that match, right?"

Richard Riley: [Very monotone] "Yeah, Dawgbone with the win. Woopee!"

Artful: "Good. Very fantastic, indeed. Next on our list is the Daredevil vs the Joker. Your thoughts?

Richard Riley: "Daredevil vs. Joker! Sounds like a bad Marvel/DC comic book crossover!"

Artful: "Look! Cyris!"

Richard Riley: [Ducks under the table] "Where? [Climbs back into his seat] That's not funny!"

Artful: "Oops, my fault. That was just Pete, the lighting Technician. Hi Pete! (waves to someone off camera) Okay, where were we?"

Richard Riley: "Joker and Vizzack. I expect Vizzack to come away with an easy win. At least someone is gonna have a good night!"

Artful: "Yeah, sure. Okay. So, Vizzack with an easy win, eh? Let's just go down to the ring if your premonition is true, shall we?"

Boogie Woogie Wu by ICP plays as Joker makes his way out toward the ring. All the way down the eisle, he is constantly laughing to himself as if in response to some unheard joke. When he reaches the ring, the crowd is totally unresponsive, causing a forelorn look to cross his usually, jovial face.

Then, Don't Tell Me What Love Can Do by Van Halen blares over the loudspeakers, signifying the arrival of "Daredevil" Mark Vizzak. The crowd responds as Vizzak parts the curtain and simply stands there. He looks toward the ring and sees Joker walking around impatiently. Then, with no warning, Vizzak bolts for the ring. Without losing stride, he jumps up onto the apron and uses the ropes as a springboard into a missile dropkick.

Joker is left sprawled on the mat with a surprised look on his face. He gets to his feet and charges at Vizzak, who sidesteps and nails a standing dropkick to the side of the head. Again, Joker goes to the mat and Vizzak follows up with a pair of lightning quick legdrops. He then climbs to the top rope and goes for a moonsault, but NOOO!!! Joker rolls out of the way just in time.

Joker gets to his feet and grabs Vizzak by the hair, ramming his head into the mat. He then picks Vizzak up and whips him, viciously into the corner, following him in with a running elbow shot for good measure. A couple of knees to Vizzak's mid section follows that. Then, Joker runs to the opposite corner and goes for a shoulder block, but wait!! Vizzak sidesteps, causing Joker to ram himself into the ring post!!

Joker falls back to the mat, clutching at his aching shoulder and Vizzak takes advantage. He begins pummeling Joker's injured shoulder with kicks. Vizzak goes to the corner, and jumps to the top rope, nailing a beautiful elbow drop from almost half way across the ring!! The crowd goes wild, which is amazing in itself, since they are usually into more violence than finesse. Joker rolls outside the ring and begins walking around to shake out the cobwebs and break Vizzk's stride, but there will be none of that because Vizzak just vaulted over the top rope into a suicide plancha!!!

Joker is down once again, and Vizzak gets to his feet. He points, and the crowd roars their approval. Slowly, Vizzak climbs onto the apron. He looks down at Joker and slowly shakes his head. Then, he climbs to the top turnbuckle! He spins around and nails a MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! Joker is in bad shape now! Vizzak pulls the nearly unconsious Joker to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Then, probably as an afterthought, Vizzak pulls Joker to his feet and leaves him standing there unsteadily. Vizzak runs to the ropes and comes flying back for the Daredevil Flyer!!!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!!!!

Winner: "Daredevil" Mark Vizzak via Daredevil Flyer

Artful: "Well what do you know. You were right. Maybe you're catching on to this wrestling stuff after all."

Richard Riley: [Nonchalantly] "Must be those Sally Struthers tapes!"

Artful: "Man, I'll tell you what. Sally Struthers knows a few things. You would be wise to heed her words of wisdom and knowledge."

Richard Riley: "Yeah, Sally! She sure is chunky! Wait a minute. I'm getting some word from the truck that there is something going on backstage."

The camera switches to a view outside of the arena. A large black Hummer has just pulled up to one of the back netrances. The Hummer comes to a stop and out pops Capital Punishment, Suicide King, Cyris and another unknown man who is wearing a mask. Mike Timmons rushes over.

Timmons: Cyris why are you here tonight??

Cyris: I have a match dumbass...

Timmons: Any other agenda's??

Cyris: yeah lets just say we are to see a "friend" [begins laughing]...

Timmons: O.K. Back to you at the booth..

The camera pans to the four men walking down the hall. They stop every so often, apparently looking for something or someone?

Artful: "Looks like DI is on the prowl. Wait a minute. Didn't Suicide King die two days ago?"

Richard Riley: "Wishful thinking! Why couldn't it be Cyris?"

Artful: "Dear god, there he is! He's coming to get you!"

Richard Riley: [Spins around, looking in all different directions] "Will you stop that. I guess you don't want me to make it to the match?"

Artful: "No, wait. that was just Pete again. Keep up the good work Pete! (gives a thumbs up) Oh, you have a match tonight, don't you Ricky. Well, why don't you tell us about this next match."

Richard Riley: "I think that guy with the long tooth takes on that pesky cop?"

Artful: "Indeed it would appear that way. Okay, given that Fang is the former North American Champion, and given that Detective Brown has never wrestled professionally in his life. What is the square root of 634,812?

Richard Riley: "796.75, give or take a hundredth of a point or so, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Artful: "Well, the geopolitical ramifications of the square root of 634,812 are well documented in relation to the price of tea in China. Perhaps you should consult the Library of Congress with regard to such a question."

Richard Riley: "Regardless of the answer, it has no bearing on this match. I expect that even though Brown has no real ring experience, his police training should gmake this a real tough match for Fang."

Artful: "I don't know. Fang's martial arts trianing is well documented. I mean, look how Jackie Chan dispatches with numerous bad guys at once."

Richard Riley: "And he does his own stunts as wll, but I still expect Brown to give Fang a good challenge!"

Artful: (ducks) "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Cyris!!!!"

Richard Riley: [Flinches] "It's not going to work this time."

Artful: "Damnit, I'm just trying to keep you on your toes. Test your reflexes. That sort of thing."

Richard Riley: "After all those "training" sessions with Cloudfruit, I think my reflexes are a good as they are going to get."

Artful: "I don't know. You can never be to prepared."

Richard Riley: "That's true. I wonder if Sally Struthers has any tapes on wrestling? I read Suicide King's book but it really did me no good."

Artful: "WATCH OUT!" [dives off camera]

Richard Riley: "Hehehehe. Real Funny. What a kidder."

Cyris walks into the booth behind Riley. Richard turns around just in time to be nailed across the face and then Cyris continues to pummel the poor announcer as the camera goes down to the ring.

"Bad Boys" by Inner Circle (the theme from Cops) begins to play, and the crowd begins to chant "PIG! PIG! PIG!". Detective Brown begins walking down to ringside. Over his ring attire he is wearing a leather trench coat, and he carries a large brown paper bag in his right hand. He climbs up into the ring and walks over to his corner. He puts the bag on the ring apron, and hangs his coat on the steel ring post. He picks up the bag again, and opens it, looking inside. He rubs his chin, then nods his head as he puts the bag back in its place. The ref comes over and begins talking to Detective Brown. Brown shakes his head, as if to answer no to a question, but the ref looks very insistent. Brown sighs, then picks up the bag, and hands it to the ref. The ref looks inside the bag, and his eyes widen. He looks up at Brown, then empties the contents of the bag out onto the mat. The contents of the bag include a grenade of some sort, a billy club, and a tazer. The ref waves a finger at Brown, then pushes the items out of the ring where they are retrieved by a nameless technician.

The music quickly changes to "You could be mine" by Guns ‘n’ Roses, and the crowd begins to cheer wildly. Fang, followed closely by Moe Larr, makes his way to the ring. Several fans reach out and try to touch the former North American Champ, but they get their hands rapped by Moe’s Staff of the Unbreakable Tooth for their trouble. Fang hops up onto the ring apron, and looks down at Moe, telling him to stay put. Moe cowers slightly, and nods his head. Fang steps into the ring, and looks at Brown.

Brown walks toward the center of the ring, as does Fang. They stand face to face for a moment, then Brown strikes! The punch to kidney is easily side stepped by Fang, who grabs the Detective’s arm, and twists it behind his back. Brown looks to be in pain, as he tries to elbow Fang. Fang is able to avoid the elbow, and hits brown in the back of the head with a standing dropkick as he lets go of the arm. Brown falls forward into the ropes, and just hangs with his arms draped over the top rope. He regains his footing, and turns to find Fang standing in the center of the ring, looking at him curiously. Brown falls back against the ropes, and rebounds forward into a run. Fang drops to the mat, and takes Brown down with a drop toehold. Fang is up quick, and backs off his opponent, allowing him time to get back to his feet. Fang smiles. Brown studies Fang for a moment. As he moves in Fang spins around, kicking out with his leg, but Brown is prepared, and manages to block the kick. Quickly Fang drops down low, and goes for a leg sweep which Brown easily hops over. As Brown’s feet touch the mat, he reaches out for Fang with his left arm. Fang forms an X with his arms, catching Brown’s arm. Fang twists his body around underneath Brown’s arm, using Brown’s own momentum to flip him over onto his back. Fang puts a knee against the side of Brown’s head, and uses it to bed Brown’s arm into an unnatural position.

After holding the arm bar for a few moments, Fang lets go of Brown, and moves into one corner. Brown jumps to his feet looking very frustrated, as Fang stifles a laugh. As Brown moves in again, Moe jumps up onto the ring apron takes a swing at him with the Staff of the Unbreakable Tooth. Fang sees what is about to happen, and grabs the staff. Fang glares at Moe, who begins to cower. Fang yells at Moe. Moe jumps down off of the apron, taking the staff with him. Fang points a stern finger at him, but is interrupted when Brown grabs Fang around the waist, and hits a German suplex. Brown gets up quickly, and begins slapping Fang, yelling at him to confess. Fang, undaunted, reaches up and grabs Brown’s shoulders. Then, with a slight lifting of his legs, Fang flips Brown over. Fang rolls over, and crawls to Brown’s legs, grabbing them. Brown tries to wiggle free and get to the ropes, but Fang locks on the Lion’s Roar, forcing Brown to submit.

Winner: Fang via Lions Roar

Fang asks for the ring announcer’s mic, then walks over to Detective Brown, who is still laying face down on the mat, whimpering.

Fang: "Alright, Detective Brown. Here it is. The moment of truth."

Fang paces across the ring and back.

Fang: "I did it. I was the one…"

Detective Brown sits up quickly as Fang paces to the opposite side of the ring and stops, turning just enough to look at Detective Brown. The crowd goes silent as all eyes are on Fang.

Fang: "…I was the one…who kicked your ass all over the ring!"

Brown slams his fist down onto the mat as the crowd erupts. Fang puts one leg and his upper body through the ropes, then turns and looks at Brown one last time.

Fang: "And that’s all that I’m guilty of!"

The crowd continues to cheer wildly as Fang pulls his other leg out of the ring, and hops down to the floor. And exits the ringside area followed by Moe Larr.

Artful: Oh my, that was close. Whew. You okay Rich...wait a minute, you're not Richard?"

Wayne Rothschild: "I heard you were in need of someone to do commentary. I guess now you don't have to complain about me 'getting paid for just sitting in a chair all day'."

Artful: "Bah, let's hope you commentate better than you wrestled. So, anyway. Fang declares his innocence after a playful match with Detective Brown. Where do you think the investigation is going to turn now?"

Wayne Rothschild: "Hopefully not towards me. I've had all I can stomach of jails and trials. All kidding aside, I wish Detective Brown and all the other police officers involved in the Lonewolf investigation a lot of luck in solving this tragic situation."

Artful: "Yeah, tragic. Cha-CHING!!! Sorry, did I just say cha-ching? I meant to say tragic."

Wayne Rothschild: "I never got to talk with Lonewolf and as you know I did beat the man for the North American title. Looking back, I wish our match had gone differently. A man such as Lonewolf deserved better than to lose a title in that manner."

Artful: "Yeah, whatever. He's dead, get over it!"

Wayne Rothschild: "Your callous disregard for the dead somewhat appalls me. Regardless of that, I came out here for a reason and that was to provide color commentary for the matches and not to argue with you. I think our next match is supposed to be Death Row's own PDJ taking on the Touchdown machine, Tommy!"

Artful: "Sure enough. Since you seem to be far more interested in color commentary, why don't you give the fans a breakdown of this match."

Wayne Rothschild: "Alright! Pimp Daddy J, one of the perennial under achievers here has actually be on a roll lately and Tommy, who is a gifted rookie is coming off a tough loss to Maverick last week. This should be a good challenge for both men."

Artful: "You call that color commentary? You didn't even mention Pimp's last doctor visit. Sheesh."

Wayne Rothschild: "Why don't we stop wasting the fans time and get down to the ring."

"Smack my bitch up" by Prodigy begins to play over the loudspeakers and out walks PimpDaddy J accompanied by two lovely hoes. The crowd cheers as he enters the ring and one of the hoes removes his pink fur coat. The other takes off his huge hat and rubs his chest. The Michigan Fight Song plays and out comes Touchdown Tommy pumping his fists in the air. He is trying to get everyone riled up and they respond by throwing beers and hotdogs at him. Some of the others don't really show much of a reaction at all. TD enters the ring and points at PDJ as if to say "Your ass is mine!" PDJ just smirks and then orders his hoes to show off for the crowd. They begin lifting their skirts and showing off their asses and the crowd pops loudly. He then motions for them to remove their tops and the crowd yells even louder at the thought.

TD doesn’t like all this attention not going to him so he turns his back and shoves his fists in the air yelling, trying to get a response. As TD turns to the crowd and begins trying his best to get some cheap heat, PDJ charges at him from behind and nails him right in the back with his pimp stick. TD hits the mat and PDJ is on his back choking him with the stick. Spit flies out of TD's mouth as he tries to get his hand between his throat and the stick. PDJ finally gets off him and throws the stick to the side. He lifts TD to his feet and whips him into the ropes. As TD comes flying back PDJ hits him with a dropkick square in the mouth. TD falls down on the mat with a small cut on his upper lip.

PDJ, acting quickly, bounces off the opposite ropes with a sharp elbow drop right into TD's heart. PDJ lifts TD to his knees and TD promptly hits PDJ with a low blow. PDJ doubles over in pain and TD gets to his feet and nails him with a double arm DDT. TD climbs the top rope and attempts a high cross body onto the newly risen PDJ. Instead PDJ turns it into a face buster and TD's face slams hard into the mat.

Now his lip is bleeding a little more and his head is ringing. PDJ lifts him up and whips him into the rope, attempting a clothesline. TD ducks the first clothesline but when he turns he gets nailed by a second one that forces both PDJ and him to go flying over the top rope onto the arena floor. Both men reach their feet on the floor at the same time, and PDJ immediatly goes for a chair. He swngs the chair like a baseball bat and clocks TD right upside his head with it, sending the other side of his head into the ring post. TD falls to his knees and is immediately clocked over the top of his head by PDJ and the chair. TD falls face first onto the floor and PDJ holds the chair over his head proudly.

The fans cheer for PDJ as TD makes his way back to his feet. TD suddenly grabs a chair of his own and as PDJ turns around with his chair TD makes an attempt to nail him. PDJ blocks TD's chair with his own and now we have a sort of sword fight with two chairs. TD goes low and PDJ blocks that, TD tries to stab the chair into PDJ's gut and PDJ blocks that, finally TD kicks PDJ in the gut and then nails him right over the head with the chair. PDJ hits the floor and now TD is on a roll.

He picks PDJ up and climbs up onto the steel steps. TD then executes a hard piledriver on PDJ on top of the steel steps. PDJ's head is driven into the steps and the sound of the impact can be heard in the first three rows. Its sickening to hear, to say the least. PDJ has a bit of blood coming out of his head as a result of the piledriver but that doesn't stop TD from nailing his limp body with the top half of the stairs. TD lays PDJ up against the steel post, which is seemingly the only thing holding him up. TD then sets one of the steps down about 10 feet away from PDJ. He gets a running start and then jumps off the stairs flying right at PDJ who promptly falls out of the way. This, of course, causes TD to smash head first into the post and knock one of his teeth out.

PDJ slowly makes it to his feet and lifts TD up off the ground. He drops TD throat first onto the steel guardrail, which causes TD to gag. PDJ thinks it would be wiser to get the action back in the ring so he begins to climb the ring apron. TD notices this and quickly picks his chair back up. He nails PDJ right in the lower back with the chair, which causes PDJ to fall flat on his ass on the arena floor. TD then climbs the ring apron and, using the ropes as a springboard, executes an elbow drop right onto PDJ's throat. Td then picks PDJ up and whips him into the ring post, which causes PDJ to split his lip and fall into the guardrail. TD then decides he'd also rather get back in the ring so he climbs the apron.

Well PDJ wants some payback so he grabs a chair and attempts to nail TD in the back with it. TD is too quick for this though and he kicks the chair straight into PDJs face. PDJ doesn't fall however so TD does a springboard plancha right onto PDJ and the chair. They both hit the floor with PDJ having the steel chair draped over him like a blanket. TD stands up and throws PDJ into the ring. He whips PDJ into the corner and as PDJ slowly walks out he is hit with a devastating clothesline that sends his back crushing into the turnbuckle. TD then climbs the top rope and and grabs the top of PDJs head. He executes a face buster on PDJ that sends his face smashing into the mat.

TD picks PDJ up and PDJ begins a fierce comeback of sorts. He nails TD in the gut with a hard punch and then sets him up for a piledriver. It doesn't pay off however because TD is too strong. He catapults PDJ over the top rope and back onto the floor. TD then climbs the top rope and is going to attempt a moonsault onto PDJ on the arena floor. Bad move. TD flies off the ropes just as PDJ moves and all TD hit is the steel guardrail, stomach first.

TD has the wind completly knocked out of him and hes hung up on the guardrail trying to breath. PDJ grabs his pimp stick from the ring and uses it as a golf club on TD's head. The hit is so fierce, blood gushes from TD's mouth and he is sent flying backwards onto the lap of the fat lady in the first row. PDJ slides his pimp stick/golf club back into the ring and then gets ready to continue his assault. He sets up a chair a few feet from the guardrail and then gets himself a running start. He jumps off the chair and executes a spinning heel kick on TD in the first row of the arena. TD is sent flying into the second row of chairs, getting drinks and whatnot spilled on him. PDJ is also not looking so good due to the hard cement he landed on. TD still has the worst of it though.

As the men make it to their feet TD begins punching PDJ in the face Tyson style. PDJ is backed up to the guardrail and TD steps back and charges for a clothesline. PDJ ducks and elevates TD about 3 feet in the air, sending him crashing down onto the spanish announcers table. PDJ, who is still in the crowd, pulls TD by his neck til just his neck up is on the other side of the guarrail. PDJ pushes a fan from their seat and uses their chair to jump off and execute an elbow drop right onto TD's neck. TD falls backwards back into the crowd and people begin cheering and throwing beers at them. PDJ lifts TD up and TD immediatly smashes a beer bottle from the ground onto PDJs head. Blood trickles down PDJs face as he falls to his knees in pain. TD then climbs over the guardrail and onto the Spanish announcers table.

He stands on top of it and when PDJ makes it to his feet he jumps off and executes a flying clothesline right onto him. TD then throws PDJ over the guardrail on to the table. TD is also on the table and he executes a power bomb that sends PDJ and TD crashing right through the table. TD slowly makes it to his feet as does PDJ. PDJ also picked up a small 20 inch television monitor from the shambles of the table and sends it crashing on top of TD's skull. There is now a large gash across TD's forehead, from which blood drips out slowly. PDJ picks TD up and tosses him back in the ring. As PDJ crawls into the ring headfirst he is nailed in the jaw by TD's big boot. PDJ stumbles into the corner where TD promptly begins to punch the hell out of him. He elbows him in the side of the head a few times and whips him into the opposite corner.

TD charges but PDJ picks up his pimp stick, which was laying on the mat near him, and jams it staright into the charging TD's nose. TD is stunned and falls flat on his back, almost unconscious. PDJ falls on top of him and goes for the cover....1...2...kickout!! PDJ, sensing he may have the upper hand here, climbs the top rope to attempt his finisher the bitch slap. However TD catches him and shakes the ropes causing PDJ to hit his nuts on the turnbuckle. TD climbs the ropes to attempt a hurricanranna but PDJ still has the sense to push him off. TD lands flat on his ass, although he's not very hurt. He quickly stands back up but when he turns to face PDJ, PDJ is flying off the top rope at him. PDJ hits the bitch slap right onto TD and then goes for the cover

1......

2......

3!!!! It's over!

WINNER: PIMP DADDY J via BITCH SLAP

Artful: "And there you have it."

Wayne Rothschild: "Pimp Daddy J continues his modest victory streak intact. TD put up a good fight, but the pimpster just was too much for him."

 Artful: "It was indeed just as you mentioned. Which brings me to the next topic of business. Eli Flair vs. the formerly dead Suicide King. Damn, I was really looking forward to that insur.......um...nevermind."

Wayne Rothschild: "After all the recent deaths here in the EWA, I would hope you wouldn't joke about the welfare of your wrestlers. After all, we lost Lonewolf, JD Freeman and a good friend and phenomenal wrestler in Dean McGrath. I find your cavalier attitude towards the wrestlers somewhat disturbing."

Artful: "Hey now, Dean was my friend too. Hell, you couldn't even be bothered to visit him while he was on his deathbed. Some friend you are. I had nothing to do with Freeman's death or Lonewolf's. An even if I did, you couldn't prove it. the evidence against me is all circumstantial."

Wayne Rothschild: "Now wait a second, I think you seem to have forgotten that I practically gave my life for this sport and this organization. [rattles the arms on the wheelchair] Don't you think if I could have, I would have been there with Dean. Nobody, including you came to my room to visit me or tell me what had happened to Dean. I had to find out from the news!"

Artful: "I had to handle the funeral arangements, because his family was to distraught. I am not the bad guy here. I was there for Dean. I read him Winnie the Pooh for god's sake!" [begins to cry]

Wayne Rothschild: [puts a hand on Artful's shoulder] "Look Artful, I don't blame you and given some of the things I've done in the past. Maybe I deserve whatever has happened to me but I want you to believe that I have truly changed and that this isn't some some...oh, heck, let's just get down to the ring to see this match."

DOOM!!!

The Lights go out!!

DOOM!!!

The crowd is on it's feet!!

DOOM!!!

The Jumbo-tron flickers to life, showing scenes from Suicide King and Eli Flair's greatest matches (some footage provided by other organizations, all rights usurped, sue us if you dare, bitch), and the news footage of the US Embassy in Kuwait exploding, with the words "Suicide King: 1975 - 1998." The audience starts to give a moment of silence, but halfway through "No More Tears" blares through the speakers, and Eli Flair, Poison Ivy on his arm, comes down to the ring, mic in hand. He glares at the audience, and he and Ivy sneer.

Flair: So the pussy dies and everybody can't stand that their widdwe fwiendwy Suicide King is gone...

Ivy: I'll tell you what, I think he FAKED his death, because he didn't want to face Eli. He knew his nice guy act couldn't cut it.

Flair: Yeah, you're probably right... from here on in, the Suicide King is going to be referred to as the CHICKEN QUEEN!! I would have won this war anyway, and he' be in the same place he is now... 6 feet under!!

Suddenly, the lights go down again, and Suicide King's face appears on the Jumbo-tron. He smiles beatifically, and his voice booms from the speakers, obviously recorded much earlier.

King: Elijah, Elijah, Elijah... That wasn't a very nice thing to say... can I kindly suggest one thing?

Flair and the audience look up, Flair frowning.

King: Kindly... FUCK OFF!!

The lights come back up, and "The Suck For Your Solution" rings out, and SUICIDE KING COMES RUNNING FROM THE BACK!! The entire audience is stunned only for a second or two, then erupt into cheers! Suicide King hits the apron and rolls in, but Flair is ready for him! He starts stomping on King right away! King is trying to get back up but Flair's boots are keeping him down! Finally King rolls to his back and grabs the boot on it's way down and yanks! Flair goes down, and both men get back up!

Suicide King tackles Flair, and the men trade blows, trying to rip each other's throats out! King is back on top, he stands and lifts Flair... up over his head!! What a feat of strength!! He gorilla presses Flair to the middle of the ring, then climbs to the top rope! Flair is on the ground, trying to get up, and King looks, points, and laughs! He starts macking to the crowd on the rope! He turns.. WAIT!! Flair is up... he's stumbling toward King... he... HE JUST PULLED ONE LEG AND PUSHED THE OTHER! The ENTIRE male audience screams in sympathy, and then does again when Flair bounced the rope a couple of times!! I think even Cloudfruit is turning green!

Flair starts hitting him with punches while he's still straddling the rope, then lets him fall so he can kick King!! Ivy comes to the apron and starts ramming her fist into Suicide King's face! Suicide King is still rolling, more from the pain in his nutz than from the kicks. Flair picks SK up and flings him into the rope... he grabs and lifts Suicide King for a CHOKESLAM!! Suicide King rolls again, and this time Flair picks him up and connects a HUGE Russian suplex! He lifts King and gorilla presses him out of the ring, then goes back to the ropes... he's going to try... OH NO!! A man that large should not try a suicide dive over the ropes! He jumps over... SUICIDE KING ROLLS AWAY!!

Flair just did a belly flop on the concrete! Here come a couple of people from the crowd... it's... CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND CYRIS... what's this...they're carrying... a URINAL?! Suicide King's trademark weapon! Capital Punishment keeps Poison Ivy away from the action while Cyris holds up the urinal... Suicide King picks flair up and starts slamming his head into the urinal! Oh my, something's splashing out, and I DON'T think it's water! Cyris lays the urinal down, and King POWERBOMBS FLAIR INTO THE URINAL! THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!

King yanks Flair up, rolls him into the ring, and rolls in after him... he pulls Flair to his feet... that's... a Greco-Roman toss?! Suicide King covers for the pin, and Flair is only now beginning to stir...

1....

2...

3...?

YES!! 3!!!

Winner: Suicide King via Greco-Roman toss.

Artful: [blows his nose on the sleeve of Wayne's shirt.] "Sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. It's good to see SK back in action again. Not to mention get the win over a very talented newcomer."

Wayne Rothschild: [looks over at his sleeve] "Yes! A very good win for my former ally and stablemate. Eli Flair will have many days on glory but unfortunately for him, today was not one of them."

Artful: "Okay, tag teams, what do you think of them?"

Wayne Rothschild: "Dean and I had a great tag team but now [stares down with a sad look on his face]. I think the tag team situation has been a little weak but maybe with Death Row reforming and teams like Sledge and Grayson around, maybe the division will pick up."

Artful: "Only time will tell. Sledge and Grayson have teamed in the past, but they've been at odds as of late. Do you think they can pull it all together and secure the win?"

Wayne Rothschild: "All partners go through a period where there are "disagreements." Both men are professionals and good friends. I've wrestled both men and they are both great competitors. On that note, I actually would like to take this opportunity to apologize to both Sledge and Grayson for all the evil things I did to both men."

Artful: "Oh boy, you sure did some not nice things to Grayson. I don't know if he can forgive something like that."

Wayne Rothschild: "I know! I can only hope that somehow he finds it in his heart to forgive me but I would understand if he couldn't. I believe that match is ready to start now. Let's go see which of these teams is able to come out on top."

The announcer steps up to the apron, takes the mic, and stares at the crowd, which is cheering madly for the last match, or in anticipation of this one, we're not sure yet. He puts the mic up to his lips, speaks into it, and opens his mouth wide.

Announcer: LAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNND... GENTLEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!! Tonight, the remnants of rival factions have it out once and for all in a tag team match that promises to be both brutal and bloody! Coming out first, representing Death Row... Weighing in at a combined weight of 589 pounds... The enigmatic Violent Dark and DRIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFTEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Half the crowd roars, and the other half boos as Drifter and Violent Dark come out to the generic tag team song, Queen's "We Will Rock You". Drifter seems to be cleaner than usual, but that's likely because he was hosed down last week. VD walks with his head held high and his eyes blazing under his mask. They get into the ring and start to play the crowd a while, before the announcer takes over.

Announcer: And next, representing for the last time the Innovators of Violence... weighing in at a combined weight of 492 pounds, first, the current Cruiser Weight Champion of the EWA, the One... the Only...JOHNNNNYYYYYYY.... SLEEEEEDGE!!!!!!

The crowd gives a loud pop as "Epic" by Faith No More slams out of the speakers, and Johnny Sledge comes out, slapping hands with the fans. He stops at the edge of the ring area, glaring at Drifter and VD who are urging him into the ring. The Announcer once again pulls the mic to his lips.

Announcer: And now, the current Television Champion, The Extreme One, with his manager Cynthia Rosetti... TOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY....GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, the crowd pops, massively, women screaming, men bellowing, as "Wild Side" by Motley Crue shakes the arena. Fireworks go off at the entrance way, and Tommy Grayson comes walking down to the ring, glaring straight ahead. Cindy follows behind, taking in the crowd only partially, walking behind Grayson. Grayson gets to where Sledge is, then passes him and goes to the ring. Sledge follows almost as an after thought. Drifter smiles and rubs his hands together, and raises his foot in anticipation of Grayson rolling into the ring, but Grayson grabs his other foot and pulls, yanking him to the mat! Grayson rolls in, and the ref orders Violent Dark to the apron. The bell rings, and Grayson and Drifter go at it.

Drifter goes for a clothesline, but the smaller, faster Grayson ducks under and delivers a drop kick to Drifter's back. Drifter hits the ropes and bounces back right into Grayson's clothesline! Grayson picks him up and delivers an underhook DDT! Grayson lifts Drifter again, but NO! Drifter connects a boot to the midsection! And another! And another! Grayson is backed into the Death Row Corner! Violent Dark applies a choke hold from the apron, and Drifter starts slamming the air out of Grayson with his fists!

Sledge gets into the ring in a half hearted attempt to free Grayson, but the ref stops counting on Drifter and Violent Dark to get sledge back to his corner! Drifter laughs, pounding on Grayson more, and Sledge tries again! The ref moves him back, but ROSETTI JUMPS UP AND PULLS VIOLENT DARK OFF OF GRAYSON!! Grayson falls forward, causing Drifter to overbalance and stumble. Grayson moves free, and moves to his corner! Drifter charges, and Grayson does a DUCKDOWN BACKDROP!! He lifts Drifter as Sledge hits the ropes, and sets him up for Sledge to hit him, but Drifter moves! Sledge slams into Grayson with a running drop kick, sending him over the top ropes! Rosetti is FURIOUS!! She gets in Sledges face, screeching at him for hitting Grayson.

Drifter and Violent Dark watch bemusedly. Sledge is back-pedaling, trying not to hit her, but the look on his face is sheer anger. Rosetti reaches back and slaps him a good one, and whirls around, storming off, taking Grayson with her! Grayson is leaving the ring! Sledge starts to follow, enraged, but Violent Dark grabs him into a German suplex... NO! Sledge flips out of the move and hits a lariat from nowhere!! Dark is getting up, and Sledge is on the post... BEAUTIFUL HURRENCANRANA!!! Violent Dark is down again and getting kicks and boots from Sledge! Sledge's anger is giving him a lot of momentum... OH!! Drifter tried to splash him but got caught and slammed onto his partner!! Sledge is on fire!

Drifter rolls to his feet, leaving Dark on the mat, and Sledge starts hitting him with chops! Drifter is in the corner under the relentless assault from Sledge! Sledge drops Drifter with a DDT, lifts him, and hits an immediate bulldog! Drifter stands shakily, and Sledge measures him... OH!!! Dark is on his feet and hits a dragon suplex on the smaller man! Dark starts putting the boots to Sledge, and drifter joins in! The ref is completely powerless! What is wrong with this guy... OH MY GOD!! Pimp Daddy J comes out of the back and starts helping! Why isn't the ref stopping this! Finally, Drifter covers Sledge while PDJ forces the ref to count by threatening him with the Pimp Stick! The ref counts

1...

2...

3!!!!

WINNER: Death Row via beat down.

Artful: "Oh man, Death Row makes a big impression on the former members of IoV."

Wayne Rothschild: "I can't believe Grayson just left Sledge for dead against Death Row. That's not the Tommy Grayson I knew and as surprising as it may sound, respected."

Artful: "You respected Grayson? How could you do what you did and say that you respect him. You tried to brainwash him for god's sake. Wait, hold on. I'm getting word that DI is causing a ruckus backstage again."

The camera is switches to the locker room area. It begins following the four members of DI who are walking around with beers in hand yelling out some words.

Cyris: WONDER.....WHERE ARE YOU??

Suicide King: I WONDER IF YOU ARE HERE??

They continue to walk and start to kick in doors. The go through locker rooms and kick open dressing rooms to the women and make their way to the bathroom. As the open the door, there is Ronny Wonder, in the far urinal, doing his business and Cyris hushes the four....they creep up from behind and SLAM!!!!!

They are all over him. All four men are beating Wonder to a pulp. Suicide King is kicking him, Capital Punishment is punching at him and the maked man is beating him with the garbage can....while Cyris takes off his strap and starts to beat him with it while the other three men hold him. Wonder is screaming with every hit and don't stop...Cyris tells the other man to drag him to the urinal and leave his head in there and then they laugh as the man flushes the toilet.

Cyris hands the masked man a stick of chalk and the man proceeds on drawing a outline of Wonder as you would a homocide ....the men make their way out and then the fourth man removes his mask to reveal that it is........IRISH REBEL!!!!!!!!! He is the fouth member of D.I. OH MY GOD!!!!!! All four men leave Wonder laying in the toilet...as Cyris shouts out.

Cyris: Ronny's career just went down the toilet. I WONDER if he'll make it to the PPV!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA

Artful: "Oh, that's a tough break for Ronny Wonder. After a beating like that, do you think he'll be able to make it to the PPV?"

Wayne Rothschild: "I don't know. Cyris and DI know how to take a person out, believe me, I know. I do hope that Ronny is ok."

Artful: "He's always seemed to bounce back before. With luck he'll be able to pull through this time and make it to the PPV. What do we have for our next match."

Wayne Rothschild: "According to this sheet, we have a Non-title, best of 3 falls match between "Maverick" and the newest member of Devastation, Inc, the Rebel."

Artful: "Boy, that Rebel has been on some sort of roll since he found out that he's really a Canadian."

Wayne Rothschild: "I highly doubt that simply finding out that he is Canadian has really benefited him in the ring. I've noticed that since adopting a more "cruel" and cold demeanor, Rebel has been more effective in the ring. The same thing happened in my career but I hope for his sake that change doesn't lead him down the same road I went down."

Artful: "What do you mean being Canadian didn't help. I'm Canadian, and look at what I've achieved."

Wayne Rothschild: "I'm sure you would have achieved just as much whether you were Canadian or Angolan. I think it's time to see if Rebel's new alliance comes into play in this next match."

Artful: "Sit back and relax folks, this could be a long one. Let's head to the ring."

Braddock: The next match is a non-title, best of three falls match! (The crowd cheers, knowing what match is now coming up.)

Over the P.A. System "The Launch" begins playing, and the fans start to cheer.

Braddock: Coming to the ring first is the number two contender for the EWA Cruiserweight Title. Weighing in at 230 pounds.... "Maverick" Matt Blanchaaaaaaard!!!!!

Blanchard comes out, and the crowd cheers even more. It seems so strange how much of a positive fan reaction he is getting so quickly. He gets to the ring and the ref begins to check him as the music fades into the Insane Clown Posse classic, "Fuck Off." The crowd goes into a mixed reaction, but mostly cheers. Maybe the crowd is growing some respect for the Irish Rebel after his upset win against Fang.

Braddock: And his opponent, is the EWA TV Champion.... Irish Rebeeeeeeeeeel.

Rebel comes out, and is in shock at the cheers he is receiving from the fans. He is proudly wearing the Title around his waist. He gets down the aisle and nobody has thrown anything at him, he is amazed. Rebel gets into the ring and takes off the belt, and then the ref checks him as well. After the ref finishes checking Rebel, he signals for the match to begin.

*DING, DING, DING*

The match begins and the two men lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Mav first gets the advantage, and puts Rebel into an arm bar. He turns the arm around, and Rebel winces from this move. He goes to try it again but is thumbed in the eye by Rebel. Rebel puts Mav against the ropes and wips him across the ring. As he comes back toward him, he catches him in a drop toe hold. Rebel then floats over, and puts Mav in a reverse chin lock. Mav hooks the hips of Rebel and rolls him onto his back, and the ref makes the count.

1...

2…

Rebel rolls back down, but is just as quickly rolled back onto his back...

1...

Rebel breaks the hold, and the two get back to their feet. Rebel hits Mav with a stiff left, and Mav returns the favor. The two are now trading lefts and rights. Rebel begins to take the advantage, and finally reaches back and knocks Mav to the mat with a roundhouse right. Rebel is now taking complete control of this match. Mav is getting thrown around the ring quite easily by the more experienced Rebel. Mav is semi conscious at this time, and Rebel throws him into the corner. He comes in right after him and catches him with a clothesline. Rebel pulls away, and Mav falls face first to the mat. The Rebel see that this match is easily in hand at this point, and just starts kicking Mav in the gut. He is absolutely mauling him. Rebel finally decides to end the match, and calls for the Irish Pride. He goes to pick up Mav, and when he does, Mav is just limp. Rebel is really getting a kick out of this, and seems to let his guard down. He goes to pick up Mav again, and this time Mav catches him in a small package, hooking it very tight. The ref drops to the mat, and makes the count.

1...

2...

3!!!!!

Braddock: The winner of the first fall, "Maverick" Matt Blanchard

Irish Rebel quickly gets to his feet and is in utter shock over this loss of the first fall. He instantly jump onto Mav, and starts to beat the hell out of him. He is wailing away on his head with lefts and rights, not letting up for one second. Mav is covering up, trying to keep off some of the punches. Mav finally gets onto his knees, and delivers a wicked shot to the groin of Rebel. Rebel falls to the mat clutching his balls. This gives Mav the chance to get back to his feet. He stands up and sets himself for Rebel when he gets up. Rebel slowly gets to his feet, and Mav jumps behind the back of Rebel and gives him a Crucifix back slide... but wait... Rebel holds him, and just drops him in a Samoan drop. Rebel picks up Mav, and gives him a snap suplex. He picks him up, but this time he puts Mav on the top rope. Rebel calls for, and this time delivers the Irish Pride! Rebel makes the cover and the ref makes the count.

1...

2...

3!!!!!

Braddock: The winner of the second fall is The Irish Rebel

Rebel wastes no time, and picks up Mav, and sets him up on the top rope. He is calling for the Irish Pride yet again! Rebel goes to hit the move but Maverick blocks it and knocks Rebel off of the top Rope. He gets up and nails a Dropkick from the top rope but Rebel pulls the referee in the way. The referee goes down. Both men get back to their feet. Rebel goes for a short clothesline, but Maverick bocks and mail Rebel with a DDT. He climbs to the top rope and looks to try to finish off Rebel.

Someone just jumped out of the stands. It's Capital Punishment. He picks up a chair and nails Maverick across the back with it. He then climbs into the ring and nails Maverick with the Judgement Drop. He rolls Rebel on top of Maverick as the referee starts to stir. He referee looks up to see the pin and he slowly counts

1….

2….

3…..

Braddock: Winner of the third fall by Pinfall, and winner of the match Irish Rebel!!!

Winner: Irish Rebel via interference from Capital Punishment

Artful: "What a night it's been so far. The Rebel coming through with a hard fought victory over the rookie Maverick."

Wayne Rothschild: "Hard fought, my ass! "Maverick" had him until Capital Punishment had to come down and interfere in the match. Typical DI gang crap!"

Artful: "I didn't say that Rebel fought hard. I said it was a hard fought match. Granted, all the work was done by Maverick, but let's not cry over spilled milk. It's time for the main event!"

Wayne Rohschild: "What main event? I'm sure Riley is in no shape to wrestle. This is bullshit. I can't stand this anymore. Call me a hypocrite or whatever you want but I think it's time someone did something about this. I'm out of here."

Artful: "Well, it looks like someone's got their panties in a bunch. Oh well, he'll get what he deserves soon enough."

Cyris: "Well, well, well. Looks like my opponent isn’t going to make it to the ring tonight. Come on Arty, ya can do better than Richard Riley. He didn’t stand a chance. It just goes to show ya that just when you think that DI is gone, bang, we got ya. Now, all of you probably thought that Wonder Bread was going to be ya savior and defeat big, bad Cyris. We all saw what happened to him. Good luck making it to the pay per view."

Wayne Rothschild appears from the entrance in his fancy little electric wheelchair and rolls down next to the ring.  

Wayne: "I have to hand it to you Cyris. You did a great job taking care of Riley and Wonder. Everyone thought that DI was dead, but you brought it back to it's former glory.

Cyris: What ya getting at, Wayne?

Ronny Wonder steps out of entrance. He looks a little worse for wear and is holding a bag of ice to his head.

Cyris: (laughs) "Maybe ya didn’t hear. I took care of Ronny earlier tonight too. He’ll be lucky if he’s ready to wrestle by the PPV. But, hey, if you want me to finish him off right now, I’ll be more than happy to."

Ronny steps forward and begins to remove his mask.

Wayne: "Oh, you may have thought you took care of Ronny, but you were mistaken. You actually attacked…"

The mask is thrown into the crowd as Travis Keaton looks at Cyris in disgust.

Wayne: "That’s right. You attacked the wrong guy. You fell for it hook, line and sinker. We set you up, big time."

Cyris: "Hold on a minute. I don’t have to do this. If Riley isn’t able to wrestle, then I win the match by forfeit. You can’t make me wrestle Wonder."

Artful stands up from the announcer’s booth.

Artful: "Actually, he can. As of this morning, Wayne is officially a Vice President in this organization. You will do as he says, and wrestle Wonder, or I will strip you of your title. The choice is yours."

Artful to his seat, and props his feet up on the desk, smiling slyly. Cyris looks very upset as he scowls at Artful, then Wayne.

Cyris: "Ya son of bitch, Rothschild. Ya may be a VP but that's not going stop me from taking out ya crippled ass once and for all"

Cyris jumps out of the ring and advances on Wayne. The real Ronny Wonder sprints down to the ring like a world class track star. He grabs Cyris and throws him in the ring, then jumps in himself. Cyris begins to stomp on Wonder, who doesn’t seem to be affected, and gets right to his feet, slamming Cyris in the side of the head with an elbow. Cyris retaliates with several punches to the mid section. Wonder doubles over, and is knocked back into a corner by a vicious uppercut. Wonder looks dazed as Cyris gets a running start. Wonder, anticipating the oncoming Cyris, moves out of the way at the last second, causing Cyris to slam into the turnbuckle rather hard. Momentarily stunned by the impact Cyris takes a moment to catch his breath. Wonder takes advantage of the situation, and rolls Cyris up into a small package…

1…

2…

Kickout!

Cyris gets back to his feet quick, and is knocked off balance by a dropkick. Wonder is quick to return to his feet, and hits Cyris with a short arm clothesline. Ronny is quick to go for another cover…

1…

Kickout!

Ronny, looking unperturbed by Cyris’ kickout, bounces off the ropes and goes for an elbow drop, but Cyris rolls away. Cyris is back to his feet, and stomping on Wonder. Cyris reaches down and pulls Wonder to his feet, then hits him with a German suplex. Cyris begins to methodically punch Wonder in the side of the head, holding onto the mask for added leverage. Wonder looks to be in a bad way as Cyris tries to take the mask off! Wonder tries to struggle free, but isn’t getting very far very fast. Cyris almost has the mask off, but Wonder hits a very low blow that puts Cyris into a fetal position. Wonder rolls out of the ring, disappearing underneath it.

The ref checks on Cyris, who is slowly getting to his feet, but indicates that he’s okay to continue. Both Cyris and the ref look around the ring trying to find Wonder. Cyris climbs out of the ring, and begins looking around ringside. Wonder slips out from under the ring on the opposite side as Cyris, as Cyris lifts the skirt around the ring apron and looks under. Finding nothing, he looks up to see Wonder leaping off the top rope in a suicide dive! Wonder crashes into Cyris, sending both men crashing into the guardrail. Wonder, who landed in the second row of fans, and knocking out the two front teeth of a 12 year old girl, is the first to get to his feet as he is harassed by the fans around him. Cyris, who took the full force of the guardrail against his back, doesn’t appear to be overly shaken up, and returns to feet. Wonder gets a slight running start and, using the guardrail as a springboard, leaps at Cyris. Cyris, not one to fall for the same trick twice, catches Wonder and nails him with a German suplex onto the concrete. Wonder looks to be out cold as Cyris rolls into the ring. The crowd begins to shower Cyris with debris as he yells at the ref, preventing him from counting Wonder out. Wonder begins to stir, but looks very disoriented. Using the ring apron, he pulls himself to his feet. As he tries to get his bearings, he is hit in the face as Cyris does a baseball slide. Wonder is thrown back into the guardrail, then falls to the floor. Cyris picks him up, and throws him into the ring.

Cyris climbs back into the ring as Wonder lies on his stomach catching his breath. Cyris looks at Wonder and laughs, nudging him with the toe of his boot as if to see if he’s still alive. Wonder rolls onto his back, and looks up at Cyris, giving him that familiar smile, and an equally familiar wink. Cyris is taken aback by this, and pulls Wonder to his feet by the mask. Cyris punches Wonder in the head twice, but Wonder is able to block the third punch. Then, without warning, he nails Cyris with the Critical Danger! Wonder hits Cyris with the Critical Danger?! He’s going for the cover…

1…

2…

3!!!

Winner and new EWA Global Hardcore Champion: Ronny Wonder via Critical Danger.

Cyris begins to rise slowly, stopping at his knees. He looks up at Wonder, who reaches back, and begins to undo his mask. As the mask drops to the mat, the crowd begins to cheer wildly. Cyris looks shocked as it is finally revealed that Ronny Wonder is actually:

Dirk Ryan!!!!!!!!!! Dirk Ryan is Ronny Wonder

Richard Riley runs down to ringside, and climbs into the ring, congratulating Dirk on a job well done as Cyris leaves the ring and walks towards the back. Dirk looks at Riley for a moment, then walks over to the ref and whispers something into his ear. The ref looks a bit confused, and shrugs his shoulders. Dirk pats him on the back, then walks back over to Riley. With a wink and a smile, Dirk pushes Riley down to the mat on top of the Ronny Wonder mask. Before Riley has a chance to regain his composure, the ref drops to the mat and counts…

1…

2…

3!!!

Winner and New EWA Global Hardcore Champion: Richard Riley??????

Dirk smiles, and helps Riley up. Riley looks confused as Dirk hands him the Global Hardcore title, then climbs out of the ring. Riley stands there scratching his head with a confused and concerned look on his face as the camera switches to the announcer's booth.

Artful: "What a fine piece of VP'ing by Wayne. And what a match! The shock of a lifetime! Dirk Ryan returns, and we have two Global title changes in as many minutes. This is definatly a night for the record books. For everyone involved, this is Artful saying, Pogue Mahone!"