[The black screen fades into the EWA logo, and then the Devil's Night logo..."Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie begins to play as clips of EWA wrestlers doing their respective finishers are shown.]

Rage in the cage

And piss upon the stage

There's only one sure way

To bring the giant down

[A clip of Tommy Grayson being Death Sentenced through a table by Cyris is shown..]

Crawl on me

Sink into me

Die for me

Living dead girl

[Fang reversing Cyris' Death Sentence into a huracanrana, and then getting the pin.]

Operation filth

They love to love the wealth

Of an Ss whore

Making scary sounds Crawl on me

Sink into me

Die for me

[Clips of Capital Punishment falling off the top of the cage and hitting the guardrail, Tommy Grayson walking to the ring in a bloody mess after getting shot, and Cyris winning the Global Hardcore title are shown.]

...Thinks Donna Reed

Eats dollar bills

Goldfoot machine

Creates another fiend

So beautiful,

They make you kill

[Tommy Grayson is shown "crotching" Cyris with barbed wire, and then, a clip of Dean McGrath and Dianne kissing is shown. As the song comes to an end, various split-second clips of EWA superstars, including JD Freeman, Fang, Capital Punishment, Johnny Sledge, Cyris, Dean McGrath, PimpDaddy J, Suicide King, Connor Chambers, Chris Douglas, and etc. are shown.]

Blood on her skin

Dripping with sin

Do it again

Living dead girl

[The Devil's Night logo BURSTS onto the screen, like a spray of blood, and then, it drips off, revealing the screaming capacity crowd in Madison Square Garden.]

Artful: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another fantastic night of EWA pro wrestling. I'm your host, Artful, and this is the guy who sits next to me." (points to Richard)

Richard: "Good evening. I'm Richard Riley and get ready for three plus hours of major action, live from New York City's own, the Mecca of sports entertainment, Madison Square Garden!"

Artful: "We, the artisans of the EWA have gathered here tonight to bring you a little something we like to call The night after the night after Devil's Night!"

Richard: "With another Halloween but a memory, who knows that ghouls and ghosts will be lurking (crumples up a piece of paper and throws it over his shoulder). Who writes this crap? Basically folks, this should be a night to remember with many HUGE matches in store!"

Artful: "Not to mention a few surprises. But I wouldn't actually know that because wrestling is not fake, and I don't already know the outcomes of all the matches."

Richard: "Good point, boss! With guys like Cyris, Tommy Grayson, Wayne Rothschild and many of the other stars of the EWA on hand, who knows what can happen!"

Artful: "This much is true. Now then, let's see what we have in store for you, then general viewing public who have standards high enough to insist on watching EWA Pay Per Views. It's only the best for you, and that means Logan Williams vs. Sid Seven."

Richard: "These are two newcomers who show a lot of promise. Each one did well in the Global battle royal. A win can push one of these men right into title contention. Let's get to the ring to see who comes out on top!"

Logan begins to kick Sid when he's down, taking the boots to the midsection. He grabs Sid by the hair and yanks him up to his level. He throws him at the ropes, and attempts a dropkick. Sid sees this one coming from a mile away, and holds onto the ropes for dear life. Logan misses and falls side first on the mat. This time its Sid who tries to seize an opportunity. He falls down to the mat, and puts Logan in a headlock. Logan is able to fight his way up to a standing position, and throw himself toward the ropes, causing Sid to let go. Sid attempts a clothesline as Logan is running toward him, but Logan ducks out of the way. Logan hits the other side, and comes flying back at Sid, crashing his forearm into the side of Sid's head. He picks Sid up, and Suplex's him over. Logan climbs to the top rope, waits for Sid to start to get up and......Dropkick from the top rope sends Sid flying halfway across the mat. Logan picks Sid up like a rag doll and tosses him to the outside.

He moves to the top rope again, this time jumping for a double ax handle. Sid is able to react in enough time to throw his shoulder into Logan's gut. Logan starts gasping for air as Sid takes him and wings him into the guardrail. Sid picks him up, holds him for a second, then drops him, throat first, onto the metal railing. Logan clutches his throat and starts to cry. The audience is laughing pretty hard, watching a grown man cry. Sid also begins to chuckle a bit, and doesn't notice Logan's foot coming right for his crotch. OUCH!!! Sid grabs his midsection, and falls to the side, praying to the gods of fertility that he still has a chance if he is ever to find a girl. Logan, still a bit shaken from the throat and guardrail, gets to his feet and rolls the soprano known as Sid back into the ring. Logan sits Sid up on the top rope. It looks like he's going for his finisher. Sid is sitting on the top rope, and Logan is climbing to the second turnbuckle. Logan looks to be attempting a neckbreaker, but Sid has it blocked. Sid reaches down, and....DDT!!! A DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! The rest is elementary.

One...

Two...

Three!!!

Winner: Sid Seven via DDT off the top rope.

The crowd still seems unimpressed. In fact, the chant "BORING!! BORING!!! BORING!!!" has started up among the crowd.

Artful: "Well, there ya have it. A win over Logan Williams for Sid Seven. Who could ask for more?"

Richard: "Give me a minute, I'm sure I can ask for more. It looked like Williams was pretty slow to get up. He may be injured."

Artful: "Even so, I can't think of anything more to say about him. Tell me, Richard, what do you know of the two tag teams appearing in our next match."

Richard: (Whispers to Artful) "Who are the two teams in the match?"

Artful: (shuffles papers around on the desk) "Hell if I know. Just make something up."

Richard: (desperately searches for the show line up) "Ah, here it is! The two teams will be Partners in Krimez and Radium Junkees."

Artful: "Well, there it is. Now, your opinion?"

Richard: "Partners have been around the EWA for some time now. They have enjoyed a fair amount of success but they never seem to be able win the big match. As for Junkees, this will be their first match. They looked good in Global battle royal but who knows how they'll do in this match?"

Artful: (whispers) "Hey, that was good. You been studying, or something?"

Richard: (whispers back) "It's those Sally Struthers, learn at home courses. They do wonders!"

Artful: (whispering) "Fantastic. I'll have to look in to those." (normal) "Let's go down to ringside." (winks at the camera)

"Walk" by Pantera begins to play over the, and out come the team of the Radium Junkees, Kid Vicious and Michael Hell. These two are don’t get much of a reaction from the crowd, besides the occasional offer of a beverage from the fans in the first couple of rows. The two of them get to the ring after having received a Coke shower as the P.A. System fades into "No Place to Hide" by Korn. Itaki and Stanz, the Partners in Krimez, come running down to the ring. These two seem out to prove a point after the beating they took at the hands of Cyris and Suicide King at the last week’s Extreme Measures. All four men are in the ring at once and begin brawling, and the ref calls for the match to officially begin.

Itaki and Vicious are going at it on one side of the ring, while Stanz and Hell are trading punches on the other side of the ring. Itaki gains the advantage on Vicious and takes him over the top rope with a clothesline. The two quickly get to their feet, but Vicious was a bit quicker and catches Itaki with a standing dropkick. Itaki goes over the steel steps and lands on his back on the floor and his legs on the steps. Vicious gets a running start and takes catapults himself off the steps and lands an elbow drop onto Itaki… Meanwhile in the ring the two bigger men of the teams are staggering each other with haymakers. Stanz finally lands one, which knocks Hell into the corner. Stanz is now pummeling Hell with elbows to the side of the head. Hell falls to the mat, but is still sitting up in the corner. Stanz calls for a dropkick onto Hell and is only met with boos from the crowd. He backs up to the opposite corner, but he doesn’t see that Vicious has made his way up to the top rope behind him. Just before Stanz starts running, Vicious leaps into the air, land on the shoulders of Stanz, and uses the bigger man’s momentum to roll him up in a victory roll. Vicious hooks only one leg as the ref makes the count…

1…

2..

Stanz kicks out. He gets right up and picks up Vicious by the throat and throws him into the corner. He staggers back out and is met with a wicked clothesline from Stanz. By now, Hell has gotten back to his feet and is just about to hit Stanz with a double axe handle when he is nailed in the back of the head by a chair! The person wielding it is a bloody Itaki. Itaki puts the chair down and runs toward, a now crouching Stanz. He uses Stanz like a ramp and catches Vicious in a head scissors take down. Vicious rolls out of the ring, and both members of Partners in Krimez turn their attention to the semi conscious Michael Hell. They are going for their finisher. Stanz sets Hell up for a powerbomb as Itaki climbs the ropes. Hell reverses the powerbomb into a backdrop, and Stanz leg hits the top rope, and Itaki drops down balls first onto the top rope. Hell picks up Stanz, and calls over to Vicious, who has just gotten back into the ring. Vicious picks up the chair, and Hell is holding Stanz waiting for Vicious to nail Stanz. Stanz ducks, and Vicious nails Hell. Vicious is mad that he screwed up and turns with the chair still in his hands. Itaki had rebalanced himself at the top rope, and lands a roundhouse kick onto the chair, and Vicious’ face. Stanz quickly makes the cover…

1…

2…

3!!!!!!!

Artful: "He shoots, HE SCORES!! PDJ with another stunning victory!"

Richard: (taps Artful on the shoulder) "Boss. Umm. That match hasn't happened yet. Partners of Krimez just ruined the debut of Radium Junkees with an impressive win."

Artful: "They did? Are you sure it wasn't PDJ beating the snot out of Morlock?"

Richard: "Well, I'm sure that may happen but unless these glasses aren't doing the trick and I'm seeing double, we just had a tag match. I think that you are talking about our next match coming up."

Artful: "Hey, you're right. Hell, I really blew that one, didn't I?"

Richard: "Don't worry. I've got those Sally Struthers, learn at home books and tapes in the back. You can borrow them."

Artful: "Right on. Before you know it, I'll be a regular Sally Struthers."

Richard: "Heaven forbid. I think we are ready for that next match (nudges Artful). What match is that?"

Artful: "Umm....PDJ vs. Morlock?"

Richard: "Wow! Great lead in, Boss. I knew you could do it!"

Kenneth Morlock is already in the ring and is waiting for the Pimp Daddy J to come to the ring. "Smack My Bitch Up" starts playing, and PDJ makes his way down the aisle. He’s in his usual pimpin’ gear, and is doing the always-popular pimp stroll down to the ring. PDJ stops when he sees a sign being held by some lady in the front row, it says, "Pimp Daddy, can I be your new # 1 Ho?" PDJ looks her up and down, and then pulls a business card out from his jacket and gives it to her. PDJ turns and is met by a running lariat from Morlock. Morlock is now beating the hell out of PDJ outside the ring. He is hitting him with anything that is not nailed down. The two are now in the ringside area, and Morlock is still on the offensive. PDJ has had no chance to even take off his ring jacket. Morlock sets up PDJ against the steal pole, but doesn’t realize the Pimp Stick, which PDJ took down o the ring with him is by PDJ foot. Morlock charges at PDJ but PDJ ducks out of the way, and in the process grabs the Pimp Stick. Morlock stops short, and points at his head thinking he out smarted PDJ. PDJ, with Pimp Stick in hand, points and laughs at Morlock’s stupidity. PDJ takes a nice big swing and nails Morlock in the back of the head with the Pimp Stick, and sends Morlock bouncing off of the pole. PDJ picks up and rolls Morlock into the ring and with the two of them finally in the ring the match can begin.

PDJ just begins to put the boots to Morlock, and whenever he tries to get up, up met with a stiff shot from the Pimp Stick. PDJ finally eases up on Morlock, and climbs the ropes. Morlock slowly gets to his feet, and is met with a swinging Pimp Stick shot from the top. The Stick shatters to pieces, and PDJ makes the cover…

1…

2…

3!!!!!!

Artful: "He shoots, HE SCORES!!! PDJ with another stunning victory!"

Richard: "You got it right this time. I figured you were gonna say 'Jerry Michaels with a big win'!"

Artful: (looks nervous) "I didn't say that Jerry won, did I?"

Richard: "No! You didn't. At least not yet. I think the next match will be one of our semi-final matches in the cruierweight tournament."

Artful: (looks relieved) "Whew. If I had said that, I don't know what I'd do. Maybe wash my mouth out with soap, or make you cut out my tongue...or something."

Richard: (has an evil look in his eye) "Please say it! Please say it!"

Artful: "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Then I wouldn't be able to tell you how fired you are. I could write it down though. And then you'd be sorry. Oh yes you would. Very sorry indeed."

Richard: "Umm, well, uhh. Our next match will be featuring three of the best lightweights in the business. Before tonight is over we will finally have a champion of the little people as Irish Rebel, who is also competing in the tournament would say!"

Artful: "That is so true. However, that isn't until later. Right now we just have to see if Jimmy Who? can beat his way through those other two guys in the tournament."

Richard: "That's right! JOHNNY Sledge will be taking on two newcomers to the EWA, JT Walsh and Leon "Purple" Hayze. This could finally be Sledge's opportunity to make something of himself in the EWA."

Artful: "Sledge is in the EWA?"

Johnny Sledge, Leon Hayes, and JT Welch are already in the ring, awaiting the bell to ring. Sledge looks focused, Hayes looks stoned, and Welsh looks confused, as if he's never been in the EWA before. Anyway, the bell rings, and all three men just sort of look at each other. Welch suddenly smiles and extends his hand, he walks toward Hayes to wish him good luck, Hayes just sort of stares oddly at him. Welch shrugs his shoulders and goes toward Sledge. Johnny just stares at him for a sec, then gives a slight wink. Welsh gives him a weird look, then Sledge explodes on him.

He knocks Welsh to the ground, and begins to pound on him. Hayes makes his way over to the two men, and starts to trying take Sledge off Welsh, but Sledge, looking like a man possessed, attacks Hayes. Hayes, not really expecting Sledge to turn on him like that, isn't prepared for Johnny to jump him like that. But before he can react, Sledge is pounding on him. Welsh is able to get up and find his balance. He goes over and kicks Sledge in the back of his head, a bit pissed that Sledge jumped him. Sledge doesn't react to the kick at all. He just continues to beat on a helpless Leon Hayes. Welsh kicks him again, but again, gets no reaction. This time, Welsh hits the ropes and comes sprinting at Sledge, as he kicks, Sledge gets up away from Hayes, causing Welsh to kick Hayes in the face with all his might. Hayes' nose goes crooked, and starts to bleed. At this time, Wayne Rothschild starts walking down to ringside, a chair in hand. He sets up the chair on the outside, takes a drink from his coat pocket and starts to enjoy the match from ringside. Hayes gives him a stare for a second, then goes back to his match. At this point Sledge, not being effected at all, is pummeling both men. He throws Hayes into a corner, then he sends Welsh after him, both men hitting the corner, and then each other. Johnny gets a head of steam and charges at both men, flying through the air. He connects with sort of a Sledge Splash, sending all three men falling from the corner. Hayes is finally able to get the man down with a hard kick to the crotch. Sledge may be fired up, but that is going to take any man down.

Hayes and Welch start to work together. A double dropkick sends Sledge back to the mat, then he is thrown to the ropes. Welch picks him up and kind of tosses him backwards, Hayes grabs him in mid air, and powerbombs him down to the mat. Welch goes to slap Hayes hand, but is met with a powerbomb of his own. Hayes, thinking he has this match in hand, looks over at Wayne, and points at Johnny Sledge. Wayne smiles, picks up his chair and hops up to ringside. Hayes holds Sledges arms at his sides, as Wayne lifts the chair way over his head and takes a big swing. Johnny kicks his leg straight backwards, nailing Hayes where the sun don't shine. Sledge moves out of the way, Wayne hits Leon Hayes with the chair. Johnny catches Hayes at the shoulders before he can fall down. Johnny helps him on his way down, as he is holding his shoulders and head, drops straight to his back, implanting Leon Hayes' face into the mat. Johnny rolls him over, and scores the victory.

Winner: Johnny Sledge via Face Plant.

Richard: "Sledge goes on to the finals. What the hell was Rothschild doing out there? I thought Sledge and the "Train" hate each other. Either way, one more match and this could be the greatest night in Johnny Sledge's wrestling career."

Artful: "Wayne-o must be feeling pretty darn confident this evening. He's got a tough match coming up in a couple whores....hours. Did I say whores?"

Richard: "Where?"

Artful: "Oh well, never mind. Wonder vs. Grayson, your thoughts, Tim?"

Richard: "I think someone will win."

Artful: "As do I. The only real question is, what price tea in China?"

Richard: "Probably about 1 chicken for 10 pounds of tea. I guess you could say I have a real Yen for economics."

Artful: "Yen is Japanese, dork." (slaps Richard on the back of the head) "Talk about the match, and leave the dumb jokes to me."

Richard: (readjusts his head set) "The next match should be a real doosey. Both men have been real outspoken, but yet seem to still hold a measure of respect for the other. A win could do a lot for the career of Tommy Grayson. Many people are saying he's washed up and isn't the same man he once was."

Artful: "That's right, Eddy. Tommy is looking to give his career a golden boost here tonight."

Richard: "Why don't we shut up and see if he does it!"

"Wild Side" by Motley Crue begins to play, and the crowd goes wild as Tommy Grayson makes his way down to ringside. Grayson looks determined to get his hands on Wonder and championship gold, which has eluded him since he lost the North American title to Suicide King back in August. He climbs into the ring, and scans the crowd.

"The Unforgiven" by Metallica begins to play, and Ronny Wonder makes his entrance. The crowd reacts positively to Wonders presence in the building despite Suicide Kings attempts to turn the fans against him. Wonder points at Grayson, and starts to run down to the ring, sliding into the ring. Grayson is quick to bail out as Wonder makes a few threatening gestures. Wonder turns his attention to showing off his prized TV title to the crowd. As he hands the belt to the ref, Grayson returns to the ring with a large drinks tray, which he has stolen from a now irate drinks vendor, and attempts to clock Wonder with it. Wonder, however, sees Grayson coming and dropkicks the tray into Grayson’s face, sending him rolling back to the outside of the ring. It is at about this time that Detective brown makes his way to ringside, taking a few notes.

Grayson throws the tray down in disgust and wipes the flavorful liquids from his face with his hands. A fire seems to burn in Grayson’s eyes as he jumps back up onto the ring apron. Wonder runs towards him, but Grayson leaps over the ropes, and kicks Wonder in the side of the head, knocking him to the mat. Grayson begins to stomp on Wonder relentlessly. As Grayson continues to stomp, Wonder rolls out of the way, but Grayson continues to try and stomp him. Wonder rolls under the ropes, and the ref pulls Grayson away. Wonder is up quick, and climbs to the top rope. As Grayson pushes the ref out of the way, he is met with a missile dropkick. Wonder is up quick, and drops a knee on Grayson’s head. Now on his knees, Wonder begins to simultaneously choke and punch Grayson. The ref pulls Wonder off of Grayson forcibly. The ref gives Wonder a warning about the choking, allowing Grayson time to roll out of the ring.

Wonder continues to listen to the ref bitch at him about the dangers of choking his opponent, and how it could cause him to lose the match, but Wonder seems wholly unconcerned. While on the outside a fan hands Grayson something, which he hides in his in his tights, then rolls back into the ring. Wonder moves to intercept Grayson. Grayson pulls the item the fan gave him out of his tights, and punches Wonder with it. As Grayson’s fist connects with the side of Wonder’s head, a look of shock comes across his face. Grayson drops the item, and tries to shake the pain from his hand. As the item hits the mat and bursts, revealing itself to be a roll of quarters. Wonder is lying on the mat, propped up on one elbow, shaking the cobwebs out of his head. Grayson appears to be in quite a bit of pain, as it appears that is hand is starting to swell. Wonder pulls himself to his feet with the help of the ropes, and starts to move toward Grayson. Grayson turns towards him, holding a Zippo lighter in his good hand. In one fluid motion he flips it open, and lights it. As Grayson exhales the lighters flame leaps towards Wonder, growing in size exponentially until it hits Wonder in the face. Wonder drops to the mat, avoiding most of the blast, but is screaming and covering his eyes as wisps of smoke rise from his slightly burnt hair. Grayson tries to lock on the Kata Hajime, but Wonder is able to wiggle free, and throw Grayson face first into the corner before crawling away. Grayson come out of the corner. And drops an elbow on the back of Wonder’s head. Grayson pulls Wonder to his feet, then levels him with a short arm clothesline. Grayson pulls Wonder to his feet again, and sets him up for a vertical suplex, but Wonder blocks it, reversing it into the Wonderful Ending! Wonder rolls over onto Grayson, and hooks the leg…..

one…

two…

THREE!!!!

Winner: Ronny Wonder via Wonderful Ending.

Artful: "Tough luck for Grayson, eh? He was so close, yet still in Toronto with that $2 whore."

Richard: "What does a $2 whore have to do with Tommy Grayson and the price of tea in China?"

Artful: "Dog kibble, but you didn't hear it from me." (winks)

Richard: "Kibble 'n Bits!"

Artful: "What did I just tell you about the dumb jokes?"

Richard: "Sorry! I think we have the other cruiserweight semi-final coming up next?"

Artful: "You wish. I've seen the way you've been looking at Irish Rebel."

Richard: "Hey! It's just one of those things. One Irishmen to another. This should be a real interesting match. Both Dean or Rebel could take it."

Artful: "This doesn't have anything to do with sheep does it. If it does, I'll probably have to be sick, or some such thing. Anyway, let's get ready to see Eli Flair take on Brett Anthony."

Richard: "No sheep, just beer. What happened to the cruiserweight match? Did I miss something?"

Artful: "No, you just skipped that page that says Eli Flair vs. Brett Anthony. They must have stuck together. Pages have a tendency to do that sometimes. The cruiser match is AFTER Flair/Anthony."

Richard: "Oh! Stop wiping your mouth with my program format! Well, one of these guys will move on to a title shot against Cyris. Sometimes a little injustice can turn out to be a good thing."

Artful: "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Richard: "Maybe. Let's get to the ring and see who gets the title shot and who goes back to wrestling dark matches at house shows."

Timothy Braddock: The Following match is scheduled for one fall. The winner of this match will get a shot at the Global Hardcore Champion Cyris… First coming to the ring, weighing in at 242 pounds, "The Machete" Breeeeeeett Anthonyyyyy!

"Bulls on Parade" starts playing over the P.A. system and out comes Bret Anthony. He is met with a mixed reaction from the crowd. Anthony enters the ring and is checked out by the ref, while Braddock goes on to introduce the next wrestler.

Timothy Braddock: And his opponent, weighing in at 302 pounds, "Total Elimination" Eliiiiiiiii Flaiiiiiiiir!

"No More Tears" by Ozzy Osborne, comes on and Eli Flair makes his way down the aisle, and the chants of "Where is Ric?" erupt through the Madison Square Garden. Eli continues walking down to the ring holding his hands over his ears. Flair gets to the ring and the ref checks him before calling for the match to begin.

The two lock up and Flair puts Anthony in a headlock. Anthony pushes Flair against the ropes, and is forced to break the hold. The two lock up again, and this time Anthony puts Flair in an Arm bar. Several wear down holds later, on both sides, and the crowd begins to chant boring. At this point Flair has Anthony in a standing headlock. Anthony throws Flair off the ropes and catches him with a power slam. He then drops a couple of knees on Flair, before making the first pin attempt.

1…

2.

Flair kicks out, but before he can get to his feet Anthony goes for an elbow, but Flair rolls out of the way, and all Anthony hits is the mat, and hard. Flair now takes control of the match, using 60 pound weight advantage to his advantage. Suplexes and body slams, used by Flair, show that he is focusing in his back. Flair throws Anthony off the ropes, but Anthony ducks the clothesline, and catches him with a belly to back suplex. This move hurt Anthony as much as it did Flair. Anthony gets up first and thinks he has the match finished off. He calls for the Cutting Edge. But when he tries to get him up in the Suplex, his back gives out, and Anthony falls on top of Flair. The ref makes the count.

1…

2…

thrrrrr… NO!!!

So close, Flair has almost won the match and the shot at the Global Hardcore Title. Flair picks up Anthony a piledrives him close to the corner. He points at the top rope, and climbs up there. He is going for the Extreme Corruption, and…. HITS IT!!!!! The ref makes the count.

1…

2…

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Artful: "Flair. Will he be able to live up to the specter of his Grandfather Ric?"

Richard: "Ric who?"

Artful: "It doesn't matter. So, you're rooting for the Irish guy in the next match then, eh?"

Richard: "Sure. Why not? It's not like McGrath is a polish name or anything!"

Artful: "If you've got something against Canada, you'd better say it now, or I'll kick your ass, Maple Leaf style."

Richard: "Oh, Canada, you crappy frozen land! You suck at sports, ex-cept for Ice Hock-ey. Anyway I think some Irish guy will most likely win this match!"

Artful: "I'm Canadian."

Richard: "Sucks to be you! Let's check out this next match while I find out how good my medical coverage is!"

(The Irish Rebel is the first of the Cruiserweights to come down to the ring. "Fuck Off" by ICP plays loudly, as the FCC has a wonderful time trying to contain this one. Then they realize that it’s a PPV, so gives a fuck, right? Anyway, Irish Rebel quickly makes his way down to the ring, because we got a lot to go here. Hellraiser is up next, to the tune of Hells Bells. He tries to scare a few fans in the first row, only to get a cold soda thrown back at his face. And finally, last to come down to the ring is tha' Deaner himself. As Dean quickly races down to the ring, the fans come to their feet. Dean slides into the ring, and immediately the match begins.

Dean, as he is sliding in, hits Hellraiser right in the back of the leg. Hellraiser lets out a yelp, and falls down for a second. Irish Rebel, drops his knee into the lower back of Dean. Rebel next picks up Hellraiser, and sends him toward the ropes. He sets up for a back body drop, but Dean is up, and turns it into a pinning combination. Hellraiser, realizing that he has to be the one to pin to win, kicks Dean in the back of the head, keeping the ref from counting at all. Dean gets up a bit pissed, and slaps Hellraiser across the chest. Hellraiser slaps Dean right back. Dean winds up to take a swing at Hellraiser, but sees IR flying through midair at both of them. Dean ducks out of the way, and Irish Rebel connects with Hellraiser with a shoulder block. Hellraiser leaps to his feet, and grapples with Irish Rebel. Hellraiser comes out on the better end of this one, getting Irish Rebel ready for a suplex. And over he goes. Hellraiser, not wasting any time, picks up the Irish Rebel, and throws him to a turnbuckle. Irish Rebel hits hard and comes shooting out from the turnbuckle. Hellraiser starts running at him, his arm extended trying for a clothesline. Irish Rebel ducks the arm, and dropkicks Hellraiser into the corner. Dean, during all this, has taken a seat on the opposite turnbuckle, enjoying the show. The Irish Rebel and Hellraiser have seem to forgotten about Dean, and are only fighting each other. Irish Rebel picks Hellraiser up, and nails the atomic drop, sending Hellraiser bouncing around the ring in pain. Dean, who has decided to reenter the mix, takes aim from the second turnbuckle, and hits Hellraiser with a flying shoulderblock, sending him flying, awkwardly across the ring. Hellraiser tries to catch himself from falling down, but he lands on his leg awkwardly and his knee sends out a popping noise that can be heard somewhere in Indiana. Hellraiser immediately starts screaming in agony and rolls out of the ring, clutching his knee. Dean, who for a second shows a bit of concern for what he did to Hellraiser, turns his back to Reb. Irish Rebel grabs Dean by the hair on the back of his head, and attempts an inverted DDT. Dean is able to grab the ropes with one hand, but his neck snaps back. Irish Rebel, bounces back up, and sends Dean to the ropes. Reb winds up and throws a huge Superkick right at Dean, who is able to tilt his body, so it doesn't hit him in the jaw. Instead it connects with his right shoulder, popping it out of place. Now its Dean's turn to show some pain. Irish Rebel quickly rolls Dean up, but Dean is able to kickout at 2.

Hellraiser is still on the ground outside, almost in tears, holding his knee. The camera gets a close-up shot of the knee that is already starting to swell very badly. Dean, is leaning against the ropes, trying to pop his shoulder back into place, but also playing possum just a bit. The Irish Rebel comes flying toward him, but Dean easily moves out of the way, causing IR to fly over Dean, and out of the ring. Rebel hits hard on the outside, and doesn't see Dean now flying at him. Dean hits Irish Rebel with a suicide jump from the ring to the outside, but he also hits hard. Both men slowly get to their feet, and Irish Rebel swings at Dean, connecting. Dean swings back, connecting. Irish Rebel charges Dean, but is caught. Dean gives a vertical suplex to Irish Rebel on the hard concrete floor. Dean winces, his shoulder still bothering him, but is able to complete the move. Hellraiser has slowly made his way back into the ring, but is almost immobile at this point. Dean, quickly slips back into the ring and gives Hellraiser a swift kick to the leg, taking him down. He applies the Shoalin Sword as soon as Hellraiser hits the floor. Irish Rebel realizing that this is a very bad thing, leaps into the ring, and flies at Dean and Hellraiser, nailing Dean with a forearm. However, Hellraiser tapped out immediately, giving Dean the win, and moving him onto the finals.

Winner: Dean McGrath via Shoalin Sword.

Irish Rebel is furious that Hellraiser tapped out, starts to attack him and his leg. Dean begins to walk away from it all, but takes a look at Irish Rebel, than Hellraiser. He creeps back up to both of them, spins Irish Rebel around, kicks him in the stomach, and applies a DDT. Hellraiser crawls out of the ring, his leg totally useless.

Richard: "I knew it! The Irish guy won!"

Artful: (pulls Richard's shirt over his head, and starts punching him in the kidney hockey brawl style) "Take that you paddy."

Richard: "Ahhhhhh!!! (frantically sticks his index finger up Artful's nose, right up to the last knuckle) Take that, you damn Yeti!"

Artful: (looks shocked) "I think you bruised my brain."

Richard: "Yippee! Gray matter!"

Artful: (sits down) "So, where were we?"

Richard: "I think Wonder gets to try to make it a two for one night?"

Artful: "I think you're right. His opponent this time around is Suicide King, isn't it?"

Richard: "Actually I think we ran over budget, so he will be taking on Suicide Duke!"

Artful: "Oh. Wait a minute, I didn't authorize that change. You get Suicide King out here right now. Damnit."

Richard: "Well, you're the boss, but our financers are gonna be pissed. You're cutting into their profit margin and you know how accountants get!"

Artful: "Stupid accountants. Think they know everything. Let's go to the ring. Where's my cell phone?"

Mike D. & Filter walk out to ringside, without Suicide King, and make a beeline to the ring announcer; each is carrying a baseball bat. Mike D. takes a piece of paper out of his pocket, and hands it to the announcer, who looks it over, then hands it back shaking his head. Filter lifts his bat over his head, as if to strike, as Mike D. offers the paper to the announcer a second time. The announcer looks nervously at Filter, then shakes his head again. Mike D. shrugs his shoulders, and Filter clocks him with the bat. The announcer hits the ground like a sack of onions. Mike D. grabs the microphone.

Mike D: "Ladies & gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you a best selling author…the only man ever banned from VH1…the sexiest there is, the sexiest there was, and the sexiest there ever will be…the REEEEAL TV champ himself…Suicide King!"

"The suck for your solution" by Marilyn Manson begins to play as Suicide King makes his grand entrance carrying a white porcelain urinal. The crowd cheers mildly as SK basks in the adoring glow of the thousands of cheers pointed threateningly in his direction. SK scans the crowd, smiling, then lifts the "Real" TV belt high into the air. The fans cheer some more, and SK begins to walk toward the ring. Suddenly a familiar face catches SK’s eye. He looks a bit closer, and recognizes Enrique the Bondage Dwarf clinging to the guardrail. Enrique and another, taller man jump over the guardrail. The taller man drops his pants as Enrique hands him a photograph of an old and wrinkled Liz Taylor doing unspeakable things with a cheese sandwich. The man squeals in ecstasy and begins pumping his meat like there’s no tomorrow. SK, realizing what’s about to happen, ducks. A stream of sticky white goo spews forth from the mans nether regions, narrowly missing SK, but catching Partnerz in Krimez full off guard as they attempt to hit SK with a chair. Enrique and the man look upset, then run off into the back. Partnerz in Krimez, stunned by this unanticipated turn of events, try to wipe the goo from their eyes, then give chase to the midget and his friend. Suicide King looks back at the ruckus then starts walking back towards the ring. He climbs into the ring, and shows off his "Real" TV belt one more time. As he does this, the camera cuts to the back where Partnerz in Krimez are searching for their assailants. As they search, Ronny Wonder walks by pushing a large flatbed cart with an equally large box that is labeled "Ronny Cakes: Industrial Strength Urinal Cakes for Industrial Size Urinals". Partnerz in Krimez continue to search as the scene cuts back to the ring.

Mike D: "And his opponent, some guy who really likes bread."

"The Unforgiven" by Metallica begins to play for the second time this evening as Ronny Wonder pushes his cart out to ringside. The crowd cheers as Ronny waves to them. As he arrives at ringside, he parks the cart next to the ring. Climbing into the ring, he takes off the TV title that he was wearing, and shows it to the crowd. The crowd gives another hearty cheer as Ronny hands the belt to the ref. Without warning, SK slams Wonder in the back of the head with the "Real" TV title. SK starts to stomp on the downed Wonder. Wonder rolls onto his back, and grabs SK by the front of his tights and pulls him face first into the turnbuckle. SK staggers backward, covering his mouth with his hands as RW gets back to his feet. Wonder leaps forward, clotheslining SK. SK hits the mat hard, and looks a bit dazed. Wonder grabs the "Real" TV title, and throws it into the crowd, much to the delight of the crowd. Mike D. and Filter jump up onto the ring apron and begin voicing their displeasure at Wonder’s actions thus far. Wonder casts a glance in their direction, but seems unperturbed by them. Wonder allows SK to get back to his feet as the ref tries to get the two non-combatants off of the ring apron. As Wonder closes in, SK pulls a pair of brass knuckles out of his tights, and pops Wonder right in the left eye. Instantly Wonder’s eye swells shut. SK follows up with a series of uppercuts that send the smaller man reeling into one corner of the ring.

Mike D. & Filter drop down off the ring apron and give each other a high five. Filter notices the giant box that is labeled "Ronny Cakes", and points it out to Mike D. Intrigued by its presence, they decide to investigate. Up by the wrestlers entrance ramp, Detective Brown can be seen observing, and taking notes. Meanwhile, SK whips wonder into the opposite corner, and follows with a splash. As SK steps out of the way, Wonder staggers out to the middle of the ring, and falls flat on his face. SK goes to his corner, and grabs the urinal. Raising it high above his head, he tries to slam it down on Wonder, but Wonder rolls out of the way! SK looks surprised as Wonder jumps to his feet and runs towards the side of the ring where Mike D. & Filter are checking out the box of Ronny Cakes. Wonder gives a whistle, and the box bursts open! Enrique the Bondage Dwarf & his tall, lanky friend pop out of the giant box dressed as giant urinal cakes. The taller urinal cake tosses Enrique up to Wonder, before laying into Mike D. & Filter with a series of punches. Wonder grabs Enrique by the legs, and swings him at SK, hitting him square in the face. SK slumps down into a corner with blood flowing liberally from his now shattered nose. Wonder sets Enrique down, and begins to stomp on SK’s face. Enrique does a quick little dance, to the delight of the crowd, then scurries up the opposite corner to the top rope, just above where his taller friend is battling with Mike D. & Filter. Enrique raises his arms into the air, then leaps into the air, hitting Filter with a wicked 450 Urinal Cake Splash.

Wonder pulls SK to his feet, and nails him with a few well-placed punches to the nose, or what’s left of it. Wonder gets SK in a front face lock, then hits him with the jumping brainbuster he calls the Wonderful Ending. Wonder covers SK, but changes his mind after the ref counts to one. Wonder looks to the ref, and says two words:

Wonder: "I submit."

Then he rolls out of the ring, grabs the TV Title and rolls back into the ring. Wonder holds the title in the air for a moment, then lays it over SK’s unconscious body. The bell sounds, and the ref raises SK’s arm.

Winner and new TV Champ: Suicide King via nothing.

Ronny Wonder rolls out of the ring, and begins to walk to the back. The brawl that has ensued between Mike D, Filter, Enrique and his taller friend stop, and stare at Ronny, then look up into the ring, and see the stupefied SK getting back to his feet, holding the TV title.

Artful: "CHEESE and RICE! Wonder just gave the title to Suicide King!"

Richard: "Kibble 'n Bits!"

Artful: "What did I tell you about that?"

Richard: "What! I'm just making a shopping list for later. Milk...Eggs...Breads and Kibble 'n Bits for sparky. If I don't pick the stuff up on the way home, the misses is gonna kill me!"

Artful: "Damnit, do shopping lists on your own time. This is the most important thing to happen to the world since earlier today when something equally exciting happened."

Richard: "And don't forget a few hours ago when something mildly bland happened."

Artful: "That too. What the hell was Wonder thinking when he literally GAVE the belt to Suicide King?"

Richard: "Maybe his main goal wasn't the TV title. Could be he really wants a crack at the Global title!"

Artful: "That might be it, but he really doesn't strike me as smart enough to think that far ahead. Maybe he just had a flashback to 'Nam, or something."

Richard: "That's always a possibility, but that's a debate for another day. Right now we get to see who will be crowned the first ever Cruierweight champion!"

Artful: "Hey, you're right. This ought to be fairly exciting."

Richard: "Once again, we essentially have a match that pits the IoV vs. DI, but it's also a match between two men that want to prove that they are the best!"

Artful: "At something other than pocket pool. Let's go to the ring."

Winner and First EWA Cruiser Weight Champion: Dean McGrath via Shaolin Sword.

Richard: "What a match! Again, the "Train" makes his presence felt, but who was he really trying to hit with that chair. In any regards, we have our first EWA Cruiserweight champion, Dean McGrath. Congrats Deaner!"

Artful: "Yeah, what you said. There are, however, bigger fish to fry as we move into this, the penultimate match of the evening."

Richard: "I thought Fang and Violent Dark were the main event? Our next match is the "Train" vs. Jerry Michaels in a high incident, weapons, scaffold match. That's a mouthful. Hopefully the match lasts longer then it took me to say it!"

Artful: "Penultimate means next to last, you fool. I think you need to take another look at those Sally Struthers tapes before you pass them on to me."

Richard: "Umm, yeah! That's what I said. Penultimate! This feud has been building for months now. Who do you think is gonna win this match?"

Artful: "The guy who doesn't fall to his death. I'm pretty sure that's how scaffold matches work."

Richard: "Maybe they'll both fall to their deaths. I'm not sure if we could actually be that lucky!"

Artful: "We can only dream. let's say a little prayer along those lines while we watch the match."

"Dead Bodies Everywhere" plays over Madison Square garden, as Jerry "The Viper" Michaels comes walking down to ringside with a velvet bag, obviously full of goodies for the Train. He looks up at the scaffold, and begins to climb it, as "Bulls on Parade" begins to come across the arena, and out runs Wayne "The Train" Rothschild to the ring with a kendo stick!!! He starts to climb the scaffold himself, as the Viper makes it halfway up thus far...the bell is rung, and Wayne has gotten closer. Jerry finally gets to the top, as Wayne gets about three fourths up. He finally makes it up, and Michaels the Viper is there to confront him. He starts to stomp on Wayne repetitively, as the Train has not stood up yet. Jerry then grabs his kendo stick and starts to get buck wild on Wayne, letting him know who his daddy is.

Wayne is crawling around, trying to get up, but Michaels is definitely working him as good as he can. Finally, as Train is getting up, Jerry wiffs a possible "homerun" and a possible win, as the Train tackles him, and begins to get medieval on his ass. Jerry drops the stick, and the Train acquires it, which means hell is about to break lose. Jerry stands, wobbly, as Wayne CLOBBERS him immensely, sending Jerry down with a clean face shot. Train holds his stick high, as the fans boo from here to Afghanistan. Jerry, ever to the opportunist, grabs a barbed wire bat from his little bag of tricks, and turns to nail the Train in the gut, but the Train puts his kendo stick out in defense. The bat snaps the stick into two parts, as the Train has successfully stopped the bat from hitting him, but now stands defenseless. As Jerry is about to give the Train a reason for crying, we hear Debra coming out with a mic.

Debra Delicious: "Hey Jerry, why are you lying!!!???"

She gets closer to the scaffold, now climbing it, as Train looks on, Jerry holding him at bay with the baseball bat.

Jerry: "Get out here, you're going to get hurt!"

at that point, the Train has grabbed a long chain from Jerry's bag, and is creeping up behind him with it. Jerry can tell something is going on, and turns with a violent swing of his bat, connecting with train's back, as the barbed wire sticks into Train's back, and Jerry cannot pull his bat out. He grabs the chain and ties it around Train's waist. He then ties the other end, and secures it on the polls on the opposite side of the scaffold. Debra looks on, knowing that if she moves in, Jerry could very well let Train plummet to a loss, and a possible injury. She stays away, a good distance. Finally, Jerry lets Train hang off the side, with only the chain holding him. He reaches back into his sack, and pulls out a chainsaw. he then takes another thing out, which is a construction worker's mask, so none of the flying particles get into his eyes. Jerry begins to work on the chain with the chainsaw, but Debra comes behind and pulls the mask off!!...Jerry stops the process, as Train pulls a pack of something out of his tights...he throws it up, and Jerry flies back, temporarily blinded...his arms fly around, as his chainsaw goes right into Debra's gut!!!

Debra falls down off the scaffold, missing the ring totally, as her neck first dive shortens her height by about 2 feet, as her spine jams up into her neck, and she dies upon impact. Jerry looks down at her, kind of shocked, as Train pulls himself up like Indiana Jones. Train comes behind Jerry, kicks him quickly to the gut, then takes him up for a powerbomb, and sends him flying via Federal Express with a powerbomb, as Jerry goes crashing down to the ring, on the back of his neck, and the bell is rung.

A BUNCH of EMTs storm the ring afterward, partially to sweep Debra under the carpet, and partially to see if Jerry is still alive. The Train even needs medical attention, as you can see the white meat spewing out of his back from the barbed wire bat shot he took earlier. .Jerry is not moving, and has been put into a neck brace...his legs, his arms, nothing is moving. They wheel him out, as he has obviously suffered a broken neck, now the EWA will probably ban the powerbomb, thanks a lot Wayne. The crowd is all standing in attendance, as the silence dies out, and they all start cheering, those sick little bastards.

Artful: "Oooooooh, that's a pain that's gonna linger."

Richard: "Damn. I thought you said if I prayed, that I might get my wish!"

Artful: "Well, you can't have everything."

Richard: "Well, the "Train" wins the feud, but he may have paid a big price for that win. We may not be seeing the "Train" or Jerry Michaels in the ring for a while now."

Artful: "Wouldn't that just be fantastic?"

Richard: "Don't get your hopes up. If that was the PENULTIMATE match, then the next one must be our ULTIMATE match of the evening!"

Artful: "Yeah, ultimate. Sure. What's your take on this whole thing?"

Richard: "I don't know. Fang has been one of the best wrestlers the EWA has ever seen, but since his sudden resurrection he really hasn't been the same. Violent Dark has overcome much to reach the point he is at now, but this will certainly be a HUGE test for him."

Artful: "I can see that. Dark has a lot to prove here, but so does the Fang-ster. He had a tough match last week with Cyris, narrowly pulling off the win, but in stunning fashion none the less. Can he keep the streak alive?"

Richard: "I guess that sets me up for the line, 'Let's get to the ring and find out'!"

Artful: "Woo hoo!"

"Head Like a Hole", by Nine Inch Nails starts up. The crowd immediately jumps to their feet. An weird, red smoke appears at the entrance. Slowly, Violent Dark emerges from the back. He is dressed in the long black coat, and black boots. His mask is the same, black with red. As he gets to the end of the entrance, red fireworks explode around him. The crowd pops big time. He slowly makes his way down to the ring. He lugs a huge trash bag behind him. It looks to be extremely heavy, and about to break. The crowd is starting to show the respect that Violent Dark deserves. Of course, there are those chants of "Chocolate" going on in the arena, but for the most part, people are just booing him because they despise him, not because he sucks. He gets to the ring, sets his trash bag up in one corner, and awaits the Champion.

"You Could Be Mine" goes off, and the crowd lets off an incredible pop. Every single person in the arena is on their feet waiting for Fang to arrive. Everyone wants to get a look at the "EWA Legend". Finally, the lights get a little bit brighter, and Fang steps through the curtain. The crowd explodes. Fang comes down to ringside, shaking hands with fans as he moves. Violet is right behind him, carrying two large sticks, and a pot, with a lid on it. Fang finally steps into the ring. His gold belt shining as if it were brand new. Fang looks toward Violent Dark, then gives his belt a big kiss. He gives it to the referee, and takes Escrima, his two sticks, and is ready to go.

The ref signals for the bell, and the match is on.

Fang, holding the double sticks, starts to slowly make his way toward Violent Dark. Violent Dark just stands there watching him. Very quickly, as Fang lunges at VD, Dark ducks, and reaches into his trash bag, grabbing a fire extinguisher. But as he's pulling in out, Fang recovers and nails VD right in the lower back with his double sticks. And again in the back of the knee. Violent Dark cringes in pain. Fang moves around again, this time swinging for the head of Violent Dark. VD is able to ignore the stinging pain, and move out of the way again. As Fang leaps at him, Dark points the Extinguisher right at Fang and fires. The gas hits Fang right in the face, knocking him backwards. VD takes advantage of this, and lunges at Fang with the Fire Extinguisher, nailing Fang in the chest. Fang falls to the mat, trying to catch his breath. Dark stands, and falls down onto Fang, the Extinguisher hitting Fang right in the stomach. Fang takes one of his sticks and swings at VD, hitting him square in the jaw, knocking him away from Fang. VD flies back, stunned and a bit upset he didn't see that coming. Fang gets up quickly, trying still to catch his breath. He picks VD up and whips him into the ropes. VD hits the ropes, and Fang picks up the fire extinguisher, and nails VD right in the head, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Fang, thinking this was too easy, smiles and takes his time pinning VD. But he did finally pin him.

One....

Two...

Thre- Kickout by Violent Dark.

Fang is a bit surprised that VD wasn't totally knocked out. He grabs Dark by the mask and lifts him to his feet. Fang runs into the ropes and lunges at Dark. VD, playing possum just a little bit, is able to not only catch Fang, but drop him with an inverted atomic drop as well. Fang jumps like there is no tomorrow after being hit with an inverted atomic drop. Now its Violent Dark's turn to hit the ropes, and he connects with a bulldog. Violent Dark, now goes back to his trash bag, seeing what other goods he can use in this fight. He pulls out a chain from the bag and moves back to Fang. Fang who is just starting to get back to his feet, doesn't notice Dark, or his chain. As Fang turns around, VD swings the chain, hitting Fang in the side of the head. Immediately, blood spurts out from the side of Fang's head. And Fang falls to the ground, clutching the side of his head. Dark begins to bring the chain down onto Fangs body with force. Ripping at his flesh, VD is starting to swing like a mad man. And Fang is doing anything in his power to get away. Finally, Fang is able to get to the outside, where his wife and manager greet him. Violet takes a towel and wipes the blood from Fang's body and head, only to have more blood take its place. Violent Dark has made his way to the top rope, with the chain still in hand. He leaps at both Fang and Violet, but this time, Fang has time to react. He grabs Violet and they both fall out of the way. VD hits very hard on the cold concrete floor. Fang immediately jumps onto Dark, bashing his face into the ground. Fang grabs the chain the Violent Dark dropped when he hit the ground, and begins to choke Dark with it. Violent Dark starts flailing his arms about, attempting to try to escape the chain in anyway. He begins to turn a bright red as Fang is choking the life out of him. But VD is able to use some leverage, grab Fang's head, and drop Fang's chin down onto Dark's head, knocking both men down for a second. Fang is the first one back up, blood now pouring from his head and body. He picks Violent Dark up and puts him back in the ring. Fang also gets back into the ring, but this time, he goes over to the trash bag that Violent Dark brought. He grabs a chair out of the bag. Damn, that was one big bag. Anyway, Fang now has a chair to use, and he starts to stalk Dark. Violent Dark, who is just now starting to get up, looks around, trying to get some thoughts back into his head. He quickly realizes that Fang is not in his sight. He spins around, only to be met with a chair, hitting him right in the forehead. Fang, covers again. But again, only gets a two count. Fang is almost in disbelief that Violent Dark kicked out again. Violent Dark starts to get up again. Fang grabs him, and BAM, a hard vertical suplex takes Violent Dark back down. But VD gets right back up again. Fang slaps him in the face. VD starts to shake. He looks like he's having a seizure or something. Fang looks at Dark like he's some kind of psycho. Violent Dark stops shaking, looks at Fang, and just jumps at him, attacking him like a wild animal. Fang is hit right in the nose, and falls down. VD goes completely nuts on him. Fang grabs the ropes in an attempt to get a break. The ref warns VD, but to no avail. Finally, the ref has to grab Violent Dark and wrestle him off Fang. Fang is visibly shaken by the craziness of VD, but gets back up to go on the offense again. Dark spins around, grabs Fang, and executes a belly to belly suplex, going for a pin and the title....One...Two...kickout.. Fang isn't that hurt. But Violent Dark isn't ready to give up yet. He practically throws Fang into the corner. And follows up closely with a clothesline in the corner. Fang comes stumbling out of the corner. Violent Dark picks up the chair, and moves to the second turnbuckle. As Fang turns around, Violent Dark takes flight, the chair aimed right at Fang's head. Fang, seeing tries to get out of the way. He succeeds in keeping the chair from hitting him in the head, but it does connect with his upper back. Fang falls to his knees, and Violent Dark does hit him in the back of the head this time. Again, he goes for a cover...

One....

Two...

THRE-NO, FANG KICKS OUT!!!

Violent Dark was one hair away from becoming the new North American Champ. He thought he had Fang, and begins to argue with the ref. Fang is able to get up and find his wife/manager. He whispers something into her ear and moves back toward Violent Dark. VD, who finally decides not to argue this case, and keep wrestling, turns around just in time to see Fang's feet. A dropkick takes VD down to the mat. Violet is now up on the outside of the ring. Fang picks up Violent Dark and throws her Violet's way. Violet has the pan with her, and she throws the contents of it right at the oncoming Violent Dark. It hits him right in the face, causing him to let out a girlish shriek. Boiling hot, melted chocolate has covered Violent Dark. However, he recovers quickly. Violet tries to get back down to the floor, but VD grabs her before she can go. Fang, thinking the Violet is already safely out of the way, starts to charge at Violent Dark. Violet, not realizing Fang is coming, takes her pot and swings at Violent Dark. Violent Dark, realizing that things are not good right now, drops out of the way. Violet nails Fang in the head with the pot, and Fang slams right into Violet, knocking her down to the ground, where she hits headfirst, knocking her out. Violent Dark picks up the chair again, and measures Fang. Fang, startled, but not gone, sees Dark's plan, and quickly rolls out of the way. Violent starts swinging at air, and connects with something. The Referee. The ref, who was pretty puny anyway, falls like a ton of bricks. Violent Dark, not even realizing the ref is out, drops the chair and moves toward a stumbling Fang. He kicks Fang right in the stomach. DARK HITS THE VIOLENT VENGENCE!!! FANG IS OUT COLD!!! VD goes for the pin, but the ref is still gone. Violent Dark makes his own count....

One...

two...

three....

four....

five....

six...

seven...

eight...

nine...

ten...

But it doesn't matter, because it doesn't count. VD goes to pick up the ref to make the count. Fang is still totally out of it, but starting to move again. Slowly he makes his way up to his feet. VD turns around, right into a Breaking Point. WHERE THE HELL DID FANG FIND THE ENERGY TO HIT THAT? It must have come from his final reserve, because he hits just as hard as Violent Dark does. But wait a second, both men are out cold on their backs, but both men also have an arm draped across the other. The ref sees the cover and makes the count...

One...

Two...

Three!!!!

He calls for the bell, but who is the winner, both men had a cover. He raises Fang's hand, and puts the title across his chest. Then almost falls out of the ring, which is now covered with chocolate and blood. Both men are completely out as the EMTs rush to the ring. And the crowd is on their feet, with one of the loudest pops ever, giving respect to both men for a match hard fought.

Artful: "Now that's sportsmanship, or some such thing."

Richard: "If you say so."

Artful: "Okay, so I lied. They beat the snot out of each other."

Richard: "Yeah. Pretty cool, eh!"

Artful: "Darn tootin'. And that about wraps it up for another fantastic PPV, EWA style!"

Richard: "What a night! Join us this Wednesday as Extreme Tonight presents a special end of the year awards spectacular and then next Friday for another exciting edition of Extreme Measures."