What Matters
Justice Done?
Dateline Dickson City-Last night, a three month old baby caused a twelve car pile-up when her father let her drive their mini-van. There will be no criminal charges, because she was just so darn cute.
Dateline Nantucket-Yesterday at rush hour, a teddy bear caused a twenty three car pile-up. There will be no criminal charges, because you can't prosecute an inanimate object.
Dateline Walla-Walla-Tomorrow, it was not sure if a blind man or his seeing eye dog was driving an ambulance. Either of them caused a fifty car pile-up. There will be no criminal charges, because both had valid driver's licenses.
Dateline Throop-A cow, infected with mad cow disease, caused a one hundred care pile-up on Route 6 today, when it got behind teh wheel of a semi. There will be no criminal prosecution, because the cow was already on death row, sentenced to be ground up and used at Taco Bell.