What Matters
Disney Tragidies
Dateline Disney Land, Fl.- Last week, seventeen, 300 pound German buisness men, dressed only in loin clothes and covered in olive oil, attempted to stuff themselves into a single monorail compartment. They all plummeted to their deaths after the track gave out under the immense strain.
This is only the latest of many tragidies surrounding the Disney Land monorail. Just three months prior to this, someone attempted to load 12,000 camels into their respective compartments. As put by one eye witness to this event, "At first, he attempted to push them all in using heavy logging equipment. When that didn't work, he hit upon the idea of liquidating the camels. After pureying all of the camels, he managed to pour them into the monorail and ride away."
Disney Land security guards could not be reached for comment.