What Matters
Scientific Convention Disaster
Dateline Shickshinny Reservation, Nevada- A terrible tragedy has happened in the Shickshinny Reservation's largest hotel/convention center, "The Cheating White Man". Early last week, the hotel hosted a convention of some of the greatest minds in quantum mechanics, chaos mathematics, and classical physics.
"When they started severing the hard liqueor, that's when the trouble started." recounts one of the survivors, "Some of the quantum physicsists started making fun of the classical physicsists, while the chaos mathematicians were all sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth and declaring how the convention would end in disaster. In retrospect, I guess they were all right."
"Well, as I said before, they were making fun of each other, and one of the topics that came up was time travel. Now, you know that the classical physicsists are sore on the topic, ever since they declared in impossible, and the quantum physicsists proved them wrong."
"The quantum physicsists decided that they would build a time machine with the materials at hand, which just happened to be a couple of bar napkins, a few empty bottles, and someone's used hankerchief. Any scientist could tell you that they were headed for disaster, because you know you don't use a used hankerchief, you need a fresh one for any self respecting time machine."