Just A Whole Bunch Of Text

I was/went crazy
Rules on/for kissing
Weed
Adam and Eve
Things to do at the movies
Top ten things men should not say in Victoria's Secert
Top ten things that piss me off
Reasons why beer is better than women
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CrAzY? I was crazy once.
They had to lock me in a rubber room.
Tt was COLD in there.
Cold like the cold cold ground.
There are worms in the ground.
Worms drive me crazy.
Crazy? I was crazy once.
They had to lock me in a rubber room.
It was COLD in there.
Cold like the cold cold ground.
There are worms in the ground.
Worms drive me crazy. crazy?
I was crazy once.....
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        <<<< The Lovers of the Heart >>>>
 
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the
mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.
          Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss
1. Kiss on the hand......... I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek........ I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck......... I want you
4. Kiss on the lips......... I love you
5. Kiss on the ears......... I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else....... lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes........ kiss me
8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist....... I love you to much to let you go
 
          Article 2: The Three Steps
1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him
2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good
3. Guy and Girls: Close your eyes when kissig, it is rude to stare
 
          Article 3: The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
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Weed is a plant that grows in the ground,
if god didn`t make it,
it  wouldnt be all around,
so all you mothers f*ckers
shut the f*ck up and give it a try.
Why drink and drive, when you can smoke and fly?
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Adam and Eve
 
In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
Without any clothes.
 
In this garden,
Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam's,
One covered Eve's.
 
As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
The wind came along,
And blew the leaves away.
At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
All covered with hair.
 
And wonder came,
Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
Started to rise.
 
They found a spot,
That suited them best,
A nice big tree,
Where they began to rest.
 
Her legs spread wider,
And wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.
 
The head of Adam's thing,
Peeked into the hole,
And filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.
 
Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
Was all wet inside.
 
The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose,
Until Adam's thing,
Was all out of juice.
 
Then down through the years,
People did screw,
And now it is time,
For me and you.
 
So pull down your pants,
And lay in the grass,
Cause I'm in the mood,
For a piece of that ASS!
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Things to do at any movie!
1. Wear a top hat.
2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
3. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, "Ahhh..."
6. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juijy Fruits for you asthma.
7. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
8. Whenever the badguy is doing something devoius, say, "Watch out!"
9. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
11. Yell out what is going to happen.
12. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink while smiling.
13. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn, yell,"I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
14. Yell, "Fire!" and moon the people coming through the exit.
15. Say that they cannot sit next to you because your invisible friend already is.
16. Yell outloud, "Stop molesting me!"
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Top ten things men should not say in Victoria's Secert
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No thanks. Just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboys logo on it?
5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me??
3. The Miracle What?! This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks!! You're just going to end up NAKED anyway!
1. Oh Honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!
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Top Ten Things That Piss People Off
10.When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole,  you fucking pulled me over.
9.When something is "new and improved", which is it?  If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.  If it's an improvement, then there  must have been something before it.
8.People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"  Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
7.The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive.  I don't".  Well, I hope you don't drive sober  either Mr.Healey. You're blind for God's sake
6.When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the frikken ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
4.When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it  too".  Fuck off.  What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?  What should I eat someone else's cake instead?
3.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change  the channel manually.
2.The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
1.People who point at their wrist while asking for  the time.  I know where my  watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours?  Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
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