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Vol 99 issue 0731
REGULAR
ISSUE:
Conference report
Statistics & Trades
Rumours and Gossip
Player
of the week
CONFERENCE REPORT
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American
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Canadian
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Bearcats
lead the pack, 9 points separating 2nd from last place.!
This division
seems to be the strong one at the moment 7 of the 9 teams are playing .500
or better. The Bearcats are in control under new management and a 10 game
unbeaten streak. Gm Belanger is grinning from ear to ear with his teams
early success. The Sabercats and Hurricanes are 3 points back tied for
2nd. The Hurricanes have put together a 3 game streak to get back into
the fray. The Arsenal and Wolverines are 2 points back and are threatening
to move up in the standings. The Abyss move ahead of the sliding Earthquake
to hold 5th place. The Earthquake in 7th spot are feeling the pressure
of the tight division and GM Ryan is taking pills again for his stress.
Rounding out the division in last are the Humpbacked, they continue to
struggle and are looking at a long season tough season ahead. If you want
the definition of gaggle just watch these teams battle it out. Unless somebody
slips up it is going to be a long season in this division. |
Royals
on top, Storm closing in, can anyone else play .500 hockey?
This
division currently has 6 of the 8 teams under .500, trading rumours are
abound as teams try to get back on track. The Royals holding down first
are showing signs of weakness. The Storm currently the division's hottest
team are making a charge from 7th to 2nd in one week. In 3rd and higher
than the team has ever been are the Bruins. Last years dead last finisher
has things rolling now. The Voodoo in 4th are looking to find the magic
they had early in the season to stop their 3 game losing streak. 1 point
behind in 5th are last seasons finalists the Hitmen, who are sporting a
4-6 record over the last 10 games. Claiming 6th place are the Lumberjack
who may be stating to show signs of life with a recent win over the Royals.
In 7th place the Ice Dawgs are looking hard at the bench, a shake-up is
inevitable hear. Closing out in last place are the War Pigs, a highly unusual
place for them to say the least, but their current 2 game win streak is
hopefully a sign of life. |
Statistics
analysis using xtrastats
The puck stops here
 Ed Belfour claims
the best goaltending effort to date with a 2.23 gaa and .914 save percentage.
Close behind is Byron Dafoe with a 2.29 and .911 save percentage. Watch
out boys, as Tugnutt is in close pursuit. |
Top Guns
 Roenick gets the
nod here as it is virtually a three way tie for the top gun award this
week. The trio of Roenick, Jagr and Yashin all have 33 points. Talk about
power forwards, these boys surely are the reasons their teams are doing
well. We hand the Award to Roenick due to his points are over 17 games
versus the others 18 games, as well as a plus 16 to his +/-. Better watch
out for Mr. Kariya folks, we have a feeling the Bearcats have him ready
to claim this award soon. |
Are you tough enough
 Hitmen's Shayne Corson
earns top spot this week as he laid the smack down on the Hurricanes Chris
Pronger in game 41, along with is fisticuffs he has been ejected once already
and has 50 mins in penalties. To add to that the guy is caring his own
with 11 points and a +/- of 0 playing on the second line. The term sometimes
used to express a goal scorer "Soft hands", in this case we say Corson
has soft knuckles! |
Would the best defenceman please rise
 Raymond Bourque!
Man this guy is still alive. This is the first time for Ray to get this
award and a first for a Bruins player! Take a good defensman add a top
center to the team and presto, Borque comes alive and leads his team in
scoring with 22 points. Daryl Sydor the guy with the big ears for the Quake
has 6 goals to lead the defensman in the goals category. |
TRADES
Report on transactions since the 20th, by Columnist Don Cherry.
To War Pigs: Fiset and Emerson, To Bearcats: Mogilny
and Snow Gm Greinke says Mogilny ain't pulling his weight,
so bye-bye Mogilny. The Pig gain a decent goalie who has potential to start
plus a good third line winger. The Bearcats think they have the team to
wake up Mogilny, plus a respectable backup. If Fiset plays regular and
posts decent numbers then we call this trade a draw, of course that is
assuming Mr. Mogilny does something with his play on a new team. If he
does we give the edge to the Bearcats. Long range Fiset will mean more
to the Pigs than Mogilny to the Bearcats
The Arsenal sent Numminen and Dvorak to the War Pigs for Eriksson,
Karpa and Johnson. Tough to pick a winner here, Numminen is
going to produce for awhile in Phoenix, Dvorak and Johnson have promising
careers ahead, if Florida's aquisition of Bure pans out a hole bunch of
players will get better, Johnson has shown great development quickly...
dead draw here, the intangible here is will Eriksson develop in Chicago.
Karpa a veteran will provide tough in your face defence but how much longer
will he keep any kind of simm rating? This is a today for tomorrow deal
with the War pigs getting the upper hand this minute, and a long range
2 NHL seasons potential for the Arsenal. |
The Bearcats sent Mogilny, Krupp and Rouse to the Wolverines
for Lumme, Young and Pilon. The Bearcats
didn't gain much youth here both Lumme and Young are in their 30's, and
they didn't give Mogilny a chance to prove himself. Krupp's NHL career
is questionable with his back trouble, but if he heals he has 1-2 decent
defensive with an offensive kick seasons left, Mogilny well who knows,
he is the key all the way here. Lumme can certainly quarterback a PP and
Young can score but no better than Mogilny. Pilon will certainly help toughen
up the Bearcats "D". This is deal will favour the Wolverines, Mogilny will
last longer than Young, and 6'6" mammoth Krupp will continue to be a defensive
force next year. Pilon will continue to break noses, and Young will diminish
as a 70's simm player after the next NHL season. Lumme will be the best
player for the Bearcats in this deal.
The Arsenal traded Curtis Brown to the Lumberjack for future
considerations. Simply put this was a roster limit move, the Arsenal need
to keep at 40 men and the Jacks had room at 39. Pretty cool for the Jacks
getting Brown for nothing at the moment. Naturally there are a few strings
attached, you just always get something for nothing around this league...
;-) |
The Lumberjack sent Francis and Pushor to the Bearcats for Weight
and Ellet, here is the shake down, The Jacks get a proven center
with upside and a seasoned 35 year old defenseman who has seen his best
years go by. The Bearcats get a young solid defenseman who likely will
make his mark in the middle third of defensmen for the next 2 years, and
a craft solid 37 year old center that well give the Bearcats 2 decent simm
season before he fades away. The only way to look at this deal is 1 year
from now... and the way I see it the Lumberjacks win, all Weight has to
do is play without getting hurt.. |
The Ice Dawgs landed Vanbeisbrouck and Arvedson, from the Royals
for Kolzig and Naslund. Like why do
the Royals need another scorer?? The Dawgs are unhappy with Kolzig and
Beezer looks to be the answer, Long term though The Dawgs will need one
of their young back ups to be the big guy in 1-2 NHL season as Beezer at
36 is soon to pack it in. Arvedson is an excellent player who in the simm
can score and play very well defensively. Right now we give this deal to
the Ice Dawgs Beezer will play better than Kolzig and the impact of Arvedson
is much more to the Dawgs than Naslund will be to the Royals. |
The Ice Dawgs sent Sturm and a third round pick to the Bruins
for Roberts and a 4th rounder. The
Dawgs wanted to shake up the team and that they did. The key behind this
deal is Yan Hirdina... yup thats what I said. In order for the Ice Dawgs
not to feel the Hidina has to step up. The Bruins need Sturm to play like
a second line center. Roberts will score on the first line but his simm
future is getting near the end. We give this one to the Ice Dawgs, Hirdina
has stepped in nicely and Roberts is scoring, Sturm although playing second
line is being outplayed by the 65ov Cullen. But the Bruins get what they
need down the road and thats is a promising young center. |
The Ice Dawgs sent Recchi, Daze and Stumple
to the Earthquake for Guerin, Tucker and Battaglia.
This gives the Dawgs some 1st line scoring punch now but at
what price after next NHL season? This is a sugar and spice deal, Recchi
will bounce back with Philly, Stumple will come on with Palffy in L.A.,
and Daze is still only 24. Guerin had a career year last season and needs
to prove himself with another big season. Although Bataglia and Tucker
are young players neither have shown the upside needed to win this deal
in the long term. Thumbs up all the way for the Quake in this deal now
and most likely in the future. |
The War Pigs sent Peca to the Storm for Sykora
and Quintal. I like this Peca kid, he is a real shit disturber
for sure, but for all of his upside he never seems to produce like a second
line center should. Well the Storm have depth and Peca was obtained for
the third line, this is going to make them very tough. The War pigs pick
up a center who is going to be a big name with in another NHL season. The
Storm paid top dollar for the rights to Peca, but on the basis of impact
to each team, we call this one a draw. Both teams fill a void and at one
point since the season started both teams can say they had one to fill. |
GM of the week goes to the War Pigs Keith
Grienke and Ice Dawgs Blaine Kemp,
both have negotiated some gutsy deals and have brought into the team some
needed help. Both have done a decent job moving players around without
selling the farm. |
Other GHL Rumours and trash
talk.
| Royals Jagr has
a score to settle! The recent article
circulated around the league by the War pigs has Jagrs jock strap steaming!
Jagr was reached at home and asked if the story was true, "The
world is full of scum and the Pigs fit right in there! I do not intend
to comment on utter verbal trash talk. What I choose to wear is my business
and no one else's! I expect that the Piggies better be ready for the next
game we play as I have a personal score to settle with them."
GM Big Al was also asked to comment, "I
have no interest in Jagr's personal activities, he is totally committed
to hockey when he is at the rink, I am disappointed that the War Pigs would
try to target Jagr to throw him off his game."
An insider to the Royals organization says that the next meeting of these
two team won't be a beauty pageant. |
| Abyss accuse
Arsenal of stealing farm secret! Talk
about shit hitting the fan..... it is no secret in this league that the
farm team of the Abyss seems to have some magical powers that cause the
boys OV to increase at rapid rates. Last year a special inquiry of the
league front office investigated the practices of the Abyss and found nothing
illegal being done. It was noted that there were some things going on that
had accounted for this strange occurrence but the league front office felt
it would not be fair to the Abyss to share the secret with the rest of
the league. The Abyss accusations come from the fact that shortly after
the season started Oli Joikenen's OV went from a 68 to a 75 in one game!!!
GM Will Cox filed the complaint after being at a Arsenal farm team practice
and recognizing a familiar odour. The league cannot comment any further
on this story so as not to uncover the full secret. Results of the special
investigation will be announced when completed. |
| Quake GM Ryan
Barkhouse singing the blues! The Quake
have started out the season with a fizz, and sitting in 7th is not what
they are accustomed to. Gm Ryan was overheard after their most recent loss
as saying "Team sucks shit, they couldn't
play their way out of a paper bag! As far as I am concerned they may as
well tie Khabi to a tree and shoot his glove hand!" GM
Ryan has single out both Khabibulin and Shanahan for less then expected
effort. If something soon doesn't happen the Quake may soon be no more
than a quiver! |
| Oh that nasty
Mr. Keenan, is he on the hook? GM Chris
Bailey may have watched seen the last tirade of Coach Keenan. After their
most recent loss Keenan distraught by his teams performance pick up several
pairs of skates and started throwing them. In the fracas one of the skates
narrowly missed GM Bailey's head flying by and blowing a tire on the zamboni
instead. He then proceeded to go up the rink hallway ripping fountains
out of the wall. GM Bailey was completely pissed with the behaviour and
had these words "Mr. Keenan's term here could be at the end, we cannot
tolerate this kind of attitude and behaviour on a professional team, nowhere
can this be considered motivational." Iron Mike when asked had these words,
"Some people say I am a little edgy, and maybe so, I will not watch a bunch
of highly paid professionals play like figure skaters, my techniques are
purely fo the better of the team." Rumours are abound that Keenan
may have seen is last game as an insider has reported that Pat Quinn
has been seen in a local restaurant talking with GM Bailey. |
| Sabercats GM
Barbosa has the hex on him! The Sabercats
have been out of the gates his year playing strong and GM Dave has been
absent during most of the stretch. Apparently he had an accident while
playing in a charity soccer game which hospitalized him for 2 weeks. During
his recovery from the incident the team computer went down to a virus
attack. There was alot of talk seeing the Sabercats GM and his computer
both in a hospital bed in the ICU unit of Gates Hospital for the Computer
Addicted. The league wishes a speedy recovery to both Mr Barbosa and his
computer. |
| GM of Voodo back
from Jamaican vacation. Story line sounds
simple enough, GM has vacation did this did that.. Not so, apparently Kris
was down the the capital of Voodoo for the sole purpose of learning more
about the ancient magic. Some folks are saying that the recent problems
War Pigs and Quake have something to do with Kris's vacation. A team official
leaked out that apparently Kris has a replica doll of the front office
officials Big Al and Ryan. There sure looks to be something unusual going
on here as Big Al has been complaining about sharp pains in his butt lately.
"It
is as if someone drove a pin in your ass"
Big Al was quoted saying while being interviewed by Jay Lenno. Later after
hearing about the possible connection Big A said if he finds that
out to be true there will be hell to pay.. Be careful Kris make sure you
have someone kiss the dolls ass once to keep the big guy happy! |
| Humpbacked searching
for new talent. GM
Jon Collins is desperate, the team while picking up a few wins is mired
so deep in the basement that a skidder from the Lumberjack wouldn't tow
them out!. But we know Mr. Collins has a nose for talent and has been seen
scouting the family skating times at the local amateur arena. I am done
with my draft picks now and do not feel we have reached all the possible
talent available, my money says I will find a couple of good players watching
the family skates. "I have a couple
guys now that can skate forwards and backwards! This one guy can do it
without hanging onto the pilon!!"
Common Jon the team isn't that bad.... ;-) |
| Dawgs GM under
pressure! GM Kemp is worried about his
status as GM since the Dawgs have taken a slide lately. It is reported
that owner Peter Pocklington is not happy and has not invited Blaine to
his last to pool parties. Anyone familiar with GM Blaine knows he is one
of the leagues elite bachelors and loves the perks Pock's gives out. "Money
has no value to me, it's the parties, girls and social standing that matters!"
says the flamboyant GM. Well the TGN staff know that Kemp is always good
for a juicy story and hope he gets the Dawgs house in order soon, old Pocks
is an impatient man. |
| Bruins hold parade
after great season start! I The Bruins
are in uncharted waters this season and the town loves it. A recent parade
was held in Budapest for the Bruins as they are not in the basement after
the first couple weeks of hockey. In their last game the Bruins set a new
attendance record of 1001, (counting camels and snakes). Bruins GM Siman
has things going this way and we here at the TGN predict that the Bruins
will take a position in the playoffs. Way to go Siman... take those Bruins
all the way!! |
| Hurricanes GM
claims the male Gm's need to show more respect! The
wiry Gm of the Canes is getting fed up with attitudes towards her female
approach to trading. Now we all know Jess can more than handle the wheeling
and dealing and it is tough to get the upper hand on her. But recently
she claims she is tired of the male attitudes, "A
women likes to take her time and reserves the right to change her mind
at least every couple minutes. We don't like to be rushed and prefer the
offers be made to us rather than make the offers. We need to feel like
we are in control and are being treated specially!"
Ok you guys most of us should know this... I mean it is not rocket science,
remember that the league has harassment and abuse policies to protect everyone.
But it is clear to this writer that if you want to get the best deal from
Jess as you can get.... send flowers, a player and chocolates first!
;-) |
PLAYER OF THE WEEK:
| Roenick commands
a lot of attention when he is on the ice and draws the attention of the
defenders to open up ice for his teammates. He has great acceleration and
can turn quickly, change directions or burn a defender with outside
speed. A defenseman who plays aggressively against him will be left staring
at the back of Roenick's jersey as he skips by en route to the net. Roenick
has to be forced into the high traffic areas, where his lack of size and
strength are the only things that derail him. Roenick has great quickness
and is tough to handle one-on-one. He won't make the same move or take
the same shot twice in a row. He has a variety of shots and can score from
almost anywhere on the ice. He can rifle a wrist shot from 30 feet away,
or else wait until the goalie is down and lift in a backhand from in tight.
He has a drag and pull move to his backhand that is highly deceptive. |
Until next week keep your stick on the ICE!
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