Played to the tune of Asshole by Denis Leary
I'm just a regular Joe, with a wrestling job
I'm your average jabrone, a no-talent slob
I always end up with my back on the mat
I lost to Bill Goldberg in 12 seconds flat
My wife, my kids, their heads hang in shame
My own tag team partner can't remember my name
Sometimes I'll do a cool move, but the fans just aren't
interested
Oh no, no way, uh-uh
They throw stuff and get tons of laughs, and it's at my expense
Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah
They call me jabrone, ham and egger, and bum.
But they don't remember the few times I've won
Chorus:
I'm a jobber
He's a jobber, what a jobber
I'm a jobber
He's the world's biggest jobber
I go through each match, and sometimes I cheat
But no matter what I do, I usually get beat
(Chorus)
I lose to the heels, I lose to the faces
I've left on a stretcher from hundreds of places
(Chorus)
Maybe I shouldn't be thinking this way
I could get to be a champion one day
They'll give me a belt and then take it away
Nahhhhhhhhh!
(Chorus)
Spoken:
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a new manager like the big guys get.
Smart as hell, and not afraid to cheat to help me win a goddamn
match if he has to, Yeah!
And I'm gonna tour around with this manager, winning matches,
getting new recruits,
forming our own giant stable, and doing run ins whenever the hell
we want to, and when
we finally get a hold of the heavyweight title, we'll control
wrestling, and do whatever the hell we want to do
and there won't be a goddamn thing anyone can do about it you
know why?
Because we book the matches, that's why! 3 words: JOBBER WORLD
ORDER, Ok?
WWF, WCW, ECW, they can have all the title's they want,
they can have a big title tournament event at every pay per view,
and it won't make a lick of difference
because WE BOOK THE MATCHES, Ok??
Pete Doherty's not retired, he's waiting. And as soon as we
control wrestling, we're gonna call up the Duke,
and he's gonna be pretty psyched up, you know why? Have you ever
gone 2 years without a title shot?
Well multiply that by 15 million times and that's how psyched up
the Duke is gonna be.
I'm gonna get the Duke of Dorchester, and Salvatore Bellomo, and
Iron Mike Sharpe, and SD Jones,
and a bunch of midgets and drive down to Titan Towers and..
Hey Hey! You know you REALLY are a Jobber??
Why don't you shut up and know your role pal.
(Chorus)
Everybody!
Jobberrrr...jobberrr...
I'm a jobber, and I'm proud of it.