NOTE: These are not the opinions of Riot Vibe, and Riot Vibe is not in any way affilated with the views and/or opinions spoken of. The ideas expressed are not hte ideas of Riot Vibe. If you have any problems with the views expressed, contact us here at Riot Vibe, and we will be sure to forward the message(s) to the writer(s)(?) of GALAXIAN J.O.B. Squad. We were e-mailed this from an unkown promoter, found them quite funny, and posted them on the Riot Vibe official site.

Managed by DAVIB BARNES

Yes, it the one and only Davib Barnes manager of the wrestling non-elite. The reason why he was entered as manager of the J.O.b, he is the one who brought you JACKQUES ATTACK (the wrestler who is like SHAQ). That reason alone is enough to nominate him to this stable of prelim bums but it gets worse The Blue and The Grey a civil war
team one from each side of the war, his wrestlers are most if not all heavyweight championship calibler (for example JACKQUES ATTACK IS UP THERE WITH CHAOS (yes, I know what you are thinking we should all go to his house put him on a stake, light a fire underneth and chant our hearts out, but unfortunatly that is illegal), far too many wrestlers with a 1 cage rating (not all of us are Catus Jack and after King Of the Ring even Catus Jack wished he wasn't Catus Jack), multiple tag teams with 1 cage rating (tag teams usually consist of two singles wrestlers who couldn't make it as a singles wrestler but as a team they are one of the top tag teams for example the LOD, early Hart Foundation, ect.), the wrestling holds he chooses reverse knife edge as a level 1 offensive move that is blocked on level 2 (not many of us actually conceal knives in our hands that would make it a level 2 deffesive move), and having way too many finisher's above the +3 mark for example his own wreslter has a +2 POWERDRIVER and a +4 SCREWDRIVER both are now tag manuvers (Chaos has 3 finishers but all are 0's Archon has 3 but all are 0's), I could go on and on but I've written enough. So you see the man with out a plan is the prim canadiate and winner of the under-card bum manager of the year. Those of you thinking who would have tought that the GALAXIAN J.O.B SQUAD could afford a manager but the truth is they can't, he also wrestles and doesn't get paid for when he is managing a member of the J.O.b.

Jack Daniels

Jack Daniels is a man who has suffered from one too many shots to the glass and because of this he decied to join the GWF and make a quick buck, and since he couldn't get in that way he decided to come to us!. The only problem is he dosn't know too many moves and Dave Carnes isn't the man to teach them to him. Jack Daniels isn't without his wiskey bottle and that may be the only move that might help him to win a couple matches (don't hold your breath). Also watch out in the ring for Jack taking a stumble and falling down drunk in which he may lose the match or get a quick cheap shot in. His finisher is like the way he wrestles it sucks, he simply hooks the leg and hopes that hehas hit you with his wiskey bottle enough times to get the pin. Another feature on this wrestler is that he can be pinned two different times (yes he sucks that much) one rating is for when he is about to collapse, and another is when he is too drunk and too numb to feel anything (only reason he doesn't kick out with a one count is he is also too drunk to hear).

HAWKKOSSIS

This mexican high flyer is the best one out of the whole group he will hit you with everything he has off the top ropes. The problem....he dosn't speak a word of english and no other group will take him for that reason alone (sad but true!). Also the fans could care less about who he is or the fact that he does some of best ariel move in all of GWF wrestling. Rember wrestling is not about wrestling anymore its about how good you are at being pissed off (see the 20th centuary Stone Cold and/or Goldburg for prime examples of how that started)!

Stagnight the Bandit

This man only reason he is in the GWF is to make all the other wrestlers look good. He is used only in GWF TV shows (he goes in wresltes gets pinned leaves, and of coarse take his big money $100 bucks). His ring name took two seconds and it really dosn't matter because his chance at getting a belt is about as much as the Broklen Brawler (who is his idol and in the GALAXIAN HALL OF FAME) getting one. He might get one pin in his life time by fluke but don't expect him to be on any winning streaks.

JACQUES ATTACK

He looks like NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, he sounds like Shaq, and he has a loyal fan following like Shaq (or so he thinks!). So what's the difference? Shaq can't wrestle Jacques can't either (not much of a difference but no one cares). His finisher consists of him delivering a shot to the opponent's midsection as he bounces off the ropes, then climbing to the top turnbuckle and diving of with a "slam dunk"-style head slam to the mat. He calls it SONIC BOOMSHAKALAKA (try not to hurl at this part, I know I did). And if the wrestler stays on the ground laughing JACQUES gets the pin. Be on the lookout for his slam dunk imitation which is a basic showboat which could get JACQUES pinned or even put out for his whole career or possibly death (even all of us here at the J.O.b are hoping for this one!!).

And that rounds up the current members of the GALAXIAN J.O.B SQUAD. The roster will change every so often as so new wrestlers will join and old ones will retire (JACQUES, JACQUES, JACQUES!!). And if you have an complaints or comments about send them to [email protected] since we can't offerd any kind of e-mail service even free ones. And if you happen to find a wrestler who is perfect for the GALAXIAN J.O.B SQUAD send them to [email protected].