CDW EXTREME ISSUE 2 (8-2-98)    

WELCOME BACK!

    Well, CDW EXTREME #1 was definately a success.  We really had fun with it and the response from you guys was very positive.  Thank you.  This issue, though, we were better prepared.  In fact, we took notes during the game.  So instead of a skimpy little set of match reports, we'll present to you a highly detailed "transcript" of the "show" as it was played out.  This will go a long way toward thrusting you into the world of CDW. 

         I'd like to print some letters in Extreme too.  So, if you have comments, questions or really degrading insults, please e-mail me,  with "CDW EXTREME LETTERS PAGE" as the Subject line.  The CDW Universe is a big place with lots of little details and history behind it....so if you need to know anything in particular about it, drop a line.

         So, without further ramblings from me, enjoy the second issue of CDW EXTREME!    

CDW  SATURDAY NIGHT SLAUGHTER!                                                                                      **Homicide for Poopy Doop brand "Squeezable Fuzzy Stinky Dice"**  (Commercial)

**Brother Johnson's Church of the Heavenly Divine**  (Commercial)

  Commentators for the evening :   Toxeedus, Slick, Luscious and Ramblin' Dan  

 

"Welcome to CDW Saturday Night  Slaughter.", says Slick, "Things are really heating up around here and there seems to be no end in sight.  The situation with Mangle being denied a job at CDW, the friction between Coroner and the World Champion Dr. Punishment, the formation of the Psychic Empire, and  umm....the Dudley/Waple feud.  Scratch that last one.  But there is a certain degree of anticipation among the fans here in attendence. I can feel it.  Alot of things are gonna boil over soon.  And who knows?  It may happen here tonight!"

  The commentators begin discussing the ludicrous nature of the Waples and Dudleys, when the Psychic Empire enters the area.  They step into the ring and the Psychic Fiend and Lord Viper talk about how they promised last week that they'd reveal their most sensational member to the world tonight.  Luscious (who detests Fiend) began insulting Fiend.  He looked at her and said, "You should mind your own business,  wench. Of course, I should expect such nonsense from the daughter of that piece of trash Thantos".  "Soooo, without any more delay, allow me to introduce you to.....the new.....the improved.....ENERGON"!  The crowd was shocked and sickened as the original Energon (who has been cyborged extensively) comes out to join his new comrades.  They talk about how Energon is a wrestling legend and they gloat over the fact that they have him as their ally.  They then start berating Stone Cold's Legacy, who was once a member of the IPWA along with Tower, Wrecker and China Mask, saying that he's a coward.

    All of a sudden, music that was familiar to IGWA fans blasts over the sound system.  Smiley comes out to a huge pop.  He steps in the ring and confronts the Empire.  "You mentioned wanting to sign me up a few weeks back.  Well, I don't think that I'd ever want to join the Psychic Friends Network."   The fans go wild!  It's been over 3 years since Smiley's last appearance!   He insults all of the members of the Empire, exchanging heated words with Fiend and Viper.  And when he insulted China Mask, 'Mask start  s to go toward him (but was held back by Tower, who didn't want to attack without a plan).  "Back off, junior.", Smiley says with a sarcastic tone.  Smiley challenges any two of them to fight him and a partner of his choosing in a tag match at  Combat Zone (the upcoming ppv event).

    Suddenly, Wolf makes his way to the ring and offers to be his partner.  Smiley said that there would have to be a stipulation....he and Wolf gets to choose what type of match they fight in.  Fiend and Viper agreed, but they had a stipulation of their own...they didn't have to announce which two of them would participate in the bout until right before the match.  It was agreed upon.  More insults were traded and then Fiend hit a sore spot with Wolf by insulting and mocking his deceased wife Desire. Wolf was about ready to take his head off, but Smiley calmed him down.  Luscious, who was Desire's sister, had to be restrained by Slick.

  The Psychic Empire leaves and so does Smiley and Wolf (to a HUGE pop).

  The humanoid wrestler known as Cat's Eye is carried toward the ring in a huge cage/cell by her new owners, a family of obvious rednecks.  They are jabbing at her with sticks and the like as they carry her out for her match against Morte.  The family stops and announces that they are auctioning her off tonight because she gets too violent when "Pa" has his way with her.  Pyre (who's known for violent, usually deadly, sexual encounters), Sado (an infamous S&M practicioner), Scurvy (a slave-trading pirate) and Pulsar (a recovering drug user....and "brain-fried" space cadet) all come out to buy the felinoid beauty.  After alot of arguing, Ramblin' Dan goes out, hands the family an immense wad of cash, and buys her.   Skurvy threatens Dan, but Dan's body guards step up.  Dan says that he (being one of the promoters) can set up a Hell in the Cell match between all those who wish to buy her.

Omega (Pulsar's only friend) drags him backstage, telling him not to mess with this ("You need to train more first, Man".).  Pyre becomes enchanted with a few girls in the audience and loses interest in Cat's Eye.  Scurvy and Sado agree to the match and Dan has Cat's Eye taken back stage to calm her down before her match.

  The commentators can't understand why Dan would even get involved with slavery at all, but Dan promises that he has something up his sleeve. 

  Toxeedus says "Our next match is something I think we've all been dreading all week long.  The Waple surprise versus the Dudley surprise."

  The Waples come down the entry ramp and Walt "the Ripper" Waple takes a mic. Slick, Luscious and Dan make excuses for why they have to leave for a bit and exit stage left.  Toxeedus was stuck out to deal with Waples.  Gus Sherman (the news anchor person....in actuality a Waple himself) joins the commentating team....err...commentating person.  Walt says "Jeff, you think you're so great.  You think that the Dudleys are the toughest wrestling family. Well wait'll you face our secret Waple.  We talked to Momma Chicken Bones, a Voodoo priestess who's been a friend of the Waples for a looooong time, about helping us out."

  A big, rotund black Voodoo lady comes out and promises that everything  went off without a hitch.  Walt introduces the secret Waple.........the animated skeleton of the legendary Gunther Von Waple.  (Baby Cindi says, Check out the Waple World web-site for info on Gunther. It's hilarious).  The skeleton, with jerky movement makes it's way out to the ring, but suddenly stops dead in it's tracks.  Walt looks worried.  Suddenly, the skeleton falls backward and busts into pieces, much to Walt's horror.  Momma Chicken Bones mutters a bit and picks up the bones and leaves.

  Walt tries to improvise by saying that that was just a funny little joke and that they had ANOTHER surprise Waple.  He yelled out "Hey, everybody....LOOK OVER THERE"!  No one (except Gus) looked.  Walt used the "distraction" to give him enough time to grab a paper sack and put it over his head (of course, everyone saw him do it....except of course Gus).  Walt altered his voice slightly and declared , "I am the secret Waple!  My name is......umm.....uhhh....WALP!  Yeah...Walp Waple"!  He tried to act ferocious, as everyone laughed at him.  Except Gus.  Gus fell for it.

    Jeff "the Beest" Dudley's image appears on the the Blood-o-Vision screen. He taunts the Waples a bit before announcing the mystery Dudley.......Doink Dudley.  Doink  comes out.  He looks like a rodeo clown.  He's accompanied to the ring by  Daisy May, Masked Moonshiner and a couple of midget clowns.  

 

DOINK DUDLEY  vs.  WALP WAPLE

 

Upon entering the ring, Doink plays a few humorous gags on Walp.  Another Doink can be seen peeking out from under the ring by perceptive fans.  Doink seizes the initiative right off the bat.  With superior strength, Doink hurls his opponent into the turnbuckle.  It makes a loud thud.  While Walp is nursing his back, Doink pulls out red rope licorice, wraps it around Walp's neck, and slams him hard to the mat with it.  Meanwhile, Moonshiner is distracting the ref.  The ref sees Doink go for the cover.  1.....2....Walp gets up!  Moonshiner distracts the ref again, while Doink repeats the move! The ref spots the cover and Doink gets the 2-count.  The two wrestlers brawled for a short while before Doink lobbed the exhausted  Walp Waple out of the ring.  Poor Walp almost got to the  ring, but the "Doink" underneath the ring ( a clever cheating tactic) nailed Walp hard, causing a countout.  Afterward, the second Doink pulled off the mask.....it was Jeff!  The image on the screen was pre-recorded!   Doink got the win at 2:26.\

 

CAT'S EYE  vs.  MORTE

 

Jeff Dudley stuck around as a guest commentator for this match, since he and Morte were once major rivals back when they were in IGWA.  They had alot of hellacious bouts for the Cruiser Weight Title back then.  Morte taunts Jeff a bit as he gets in the ring.  Cat's eye opens the match with an irish whip, followed by an aggressive cross body block that levels the Luchador.  She gets a 1-count.  They exchange some high risk moves, and eventually, they find themselves out of the ring, where she clubs him with a chair.  She drags him back into the ring and tosses him into the ropes.  He uses his incentive from the ropes to execute a nasty swinging neckbreaker as she tried for a back body drop. She recovers and sends him back to the ropes and follows up with a sunset flip.  1....2....Morte is up!  They brawl outside of the ring and Cat's Eye pounds him with a chair.  He returns the favor by sending her headfirst into the steel steps.  After pulling her back in , he sets her up for his impressive finishing maneuver, the Sudden Death.  1...2....kick-out!!  She gets up, only to be plowed with a missile drop kick.  He covers her and gets a 2 count.  Yet again, she struggles to her feet, but Morte was ready for her.  Cat's Eye is greeted with Morte's submission hold, Rigor Mortis.  He locks this on for more than three minutes, until she was able to break out of it with a kick to the gut.  But this hold took most of the fight out of her. She weakly punches at him and misses badly.  He yet again slapped on the Rigor Mortis, giving her no choice but to tap out at 20:05   After the wrestlers have left the ring, a man comes out wearing an explosive "bomb-collar".  He says his name is Simon Victor.  He says that he works for a new wrestling federation called SEL (owned by the ultra-rich Mr. Silveo) that is moving into the general vicinity. He informs us that SEL isn't out to take them over like IPWA tried to do to IGWA several years back.  SEL is a "cleaner" federation that embraces experimentation of format.  He names an impressive list of wrestlers signed with the promotion including Bad Blood, El Temblor, and many more.  He announces SEL's hottest property....Star Warrior!!!!  The  Blood-o-Vision comes on and there is a guy who kind of resembles Star Warrior, but much younger than SW was when he died.  He notes that it's not the same Star Warrior...but an improvement.    A monstrously huge man comes out, with short blonde hair, blue eyes and very well-defined muscles.  He tells everyone that he's the champion of several titles from various minor feds.  He states that he'll wrestle for CDW or SEL, depending on who offers him a better deal.  His name is "Powerhouse" Hugo Dravin.   Dim Chou the Destroyer joins the excitement.  Dim Chou approaches Dravin and gets right in his face, telling him that he's sick of all these "pretty boys" coming into "his" territory and trying to act like big-shots.  They exchange a couple of shoves and Dim Chou clobbers him with a very fast, very powerful martial arts kick to the head.  He then gets on top of Dravin and begins slamming his face into the concrete floor over and over.  With a mean sneer, Dim Chou leaves.  Dravin gets to his feet and says that if that's the best these punks can do, then he should have absolutely no problem making a name for himself in the "big leagues".  He and Simon Victor exit ringside area, just as the man formerly known as Stone Cold Steve Austin VII comes to the commentator's booth.  Lots of visitors tonight on Slaughter.     "Look....there's something that's been damn well pissin' me off lately.  I've been tryin' my ass off to get that son of a bitch Coroner to get me a contract so that I can start kickin' some ass around here".  He goes on to say that he's gonna wrestle here tonight, but he still hasn't got a "god damn contract".  So if he gets injured, it comes out of his pocket.  The crowd begins looking toward the entry ramp, where stands Commander Sam......WITHOUT MOST OF HIS BIONICS!     "I've got a contract for you.  Alot of things have been going on here at CDW that has sickened me!  So, a certain someone, who'll go nameless right now, has convinced me to re-form the Decadence Society.  I'd like you, Stone Cold's Legacy, to join us. And I can set up a match between you and one of the Psychic Empire members, Tower, right here tonight! Between Coroner and the Psychic Empire, the CDW is in need of an enima.  And I think the DS is going to be the nozzle".  He then offers a spot for Wolf and Smiley, despite his differences with them in the past.  He then addresses his lack of bionics.  Coroner, who paid for the bionics that would "allow him to stay alive" lied.  Only 20% of the bionics were necessary. Coroner merely wanted to make it to where Sam couldn't fight back.  Sam states that he's undergoing a lot of physical therapy and isn't certain when or if he'll be able to wrestle at his full capacity again.  Stone Cold's Legacy comes out, shakes his hand and leaves with Sam.  

 

CULINARY DISASTERS  vs.  ONCE UPON A TIME

 

A chubby  guy with a black goatee and a chef's hat comes out.  "Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Mr. Food 4000.  And I bring with me the most awesome tag team in history. Oooh they're so good"!  The Gigantic Cook (a near 8 foot guy who looks like a greasy cafe cook with a paper hat) and the Grand Chef (a guy who looks like a demented chef, natch) comes out and gets into the ring.  Then, some really pleasant music comes on and out comes the breath-takingly gorgeous Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, dressed in outfits that resemble their namesakes.  Grand Chef starts the match by trying to whip Sleeping Beauty into the turnbuckle, but Beauty reverses it and throws him into the turnbuckle instead.  She follows up by knocking him around with some particularly vicious moves until he simply falls flat on his face in the middle of the ring.  She ascends the turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault, but the Grand Chef moves out of the way. She hits the canvas hard.  The still-groggy Chef rolls on top of her for the pin.  1....2....Snow White stomps his head for the save.  The ref makes Snow White get back to the outside, as Mr. Food 4000 hands Chef some brass knuckles. He smacks her with them and tosses them back to Mr. Food 4000, right as the ref turns back around.  Chef prepares her for the Smorgasbord Splash.  Kaboom!  1...2.....kick-out!   He tries it again!  Bam!  1...2....her shoulder's up!!  Frustrated, Chef tries to pull it off again.  1....2...kick-out!!!  My god!!  How much punishment does it take to put this beautiful wrestler away??  Mr. Food 4000 looks furious and aggravated.  She can barely even move, so Chef attempts it a fourth time!!  1.....2.....3!!!!  The Culinary Disasters win the bout at  8:12.     "Come on!", says Toxeedus to Mr. Food 4000, "give them another chance.  There hasn't been any blood yet.  I don't give a damn who wins.....I just want blood.  I want to see carnage dammit"!  Mr. Food shook his head no and led his men out.   Dr. Punishment comes out and says that Coroner has been holding stuff over his head, but he's still going through with last week's statement that the first five people who challenge him will get to battle it out for the #1 contender's spot....and fight him next week for the title.  Coroner's image appears on the Blood-o-Vision.  "You will do no such thing, Dr. Punishment.  You offered to simply drop the belt on the telephone, but I refused.  I just want to torture you...with or without the World Championship belt.  I could care less so long as you suffer.  You've been a pain in my ass for several weeks....now, I'll be a pain in yours!  So, you'll get your way...in part.  You see, the first five people who challenge you will get to take you on in a Trilogy Match.  A Trilogy Match is actually a series of matches, where you fight one of the contenders in a match.  The winner of that match fights the next contender and so on......WITHOUT any rest between matches.  But don't worry yourself too much.  If you, since you were the original title holder, lose a match, you get to sit to the side while the others continue fighting.  You will then be the final contender, taking on whoever holds the belt at that point.  The winner of that match will be crowned the champion.  So, anyone , and I DO mean anyone, who wants a shot at Dr. Punishment and his belt can come out later and let us know.  Unfortunately for you, Doc....your reign as champion ends tonight"!   Dr. Punishment looks pissed and leaves.

 

TYRANNOSAURUS WRECKER  vs. VOID KNIGHT

 

Void Knight comes out to a nice big pop, as usual.  Then Wrecker, the 10 foot tall dinosaur-humanoid thunders to the ring, receiving alot of heel heat from the audience.  Wrecker wastes no time in beginning the match.  Wrecker gets things rolling by picking up VK high in the air and bringing him down in a devastating back breaker.  VK desperately rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair.  As Wrecker comes out to brawl with the hero of the wastelands, he is met with a chair across the face!  He rolls him back in and executes a wrist spike.  Seeing that the wrist spike was barely working on this mammoth, Void Knight does something uncharacteristically dumb.....he goes for a body slam.  Wrecker was waaaaay too heavy and VK collapses beneath Wrecker's weight.  Wrecker goes for the pin.  1....kickout!!  VK, writhing in agony on the mat, sees Wrecker go to the top turnbuckle to set up his Prehistoric Trample finishing maneuver.  Unfortunately, VK is unable to avoid the flying double-leg body stomp. CRUNCH!!!  Wrecker arrogantly picks up the barely conscious VK.  As a last ditch effort, VK tries to hurl him into the ropes, but seemingly has no strength left as he himself is thrown into the ropes and clotheslined!  Wrecker then executes a series of painful headbutts, which busts VK's head open.  VK is in a daze on the canvas.  Uh-oh!  It's another Prehistoric Trample!!  This match is over at 10:03.

 

STONE COLD'S LEGACY  vs.  TOWER (no DQ, hit'em w/anything match)

 

Stone Cold mouths off to Tower as he gets in the ring ("Damn dumbass....you look like you have a damn chess piece on that ugly head of yours.").  At ringside Commander Sam and his ex-partner Lord Viper have a confrontation.  The notably sneaky Lord Viper reaches out to shake hands and is answered (much to the crowd's delight) by a swift punch to the face.  Viper warns him that he'd better not try that again.  They have a few more words, possibly indicating a match at  Combat Zone.  SCL pounds away at the huge Tower with a flurry of short kicks and punches.  Tower comes back with a consecutive face slam, body slam and pole ram.  Then Tower reaches out of the ring and grabs a baseball bat that Lord Viper had obviously brought for him. He slams it down over Stone Cold's Legacy's back, breaking the bat in half.  Tower wails on him for a short time before SCL shocks him with a DDT.  1...2...Tower gets up!  SCL smacks Tower hard with a chair several times.  He props the dazed Tower in the corner and pulls off his Legacy Avalanche.  Goes for the pin and gets a two-count!  Props him back up and repeats the move.  This time, he gets a 2 1/2 count.  And AGAIN, SCL goes for the Legacy Avalanche.  BAM!!!  1...kickout!!!!  Amazingly, Tower rebounds with a face slam.  SCL and Tower brawl aggressively in the ring for quite awhile, with no clear cut winner.  Bot men are bleeding like stuck pigs.  The intensity is amazing.  The fans are into it!  Tower gets SCL in a face grind submission hold, but SCL breaks out and replies with a DDT!  Diving clothesline by SCL as soon as Tower gets up!  WHAP!!!  1..2..bust-out!!!!  Tower gets up and squeezes off a hard-hitting drop-kick that sends SCL through the ropes.  The two combatants battle ferociously outside the ring.  As soon as they re-enter the ring, Tower goes for his finishing move, the Parapet, but SCL sees it coming and  turns it into the Stunner!!!!!  1....2....3!!!!! Stone Cold's Legacy wins this gruelling match-up!!!!  (46:21)   The crowd now sits in anticipation of tonight's main event.  Dr. Punishment makes his way to the ring.  "Alright.....who's up for an ass-kicking"??  There is complete quiet for a few seconds, as the crowd is wondering who, if anyone, will step up to the plate.  Ultronix, a cyborg who is considering joining SEL is the first one out.  Then, it's Necronia.  The third person to come out is Sado.  Then, Pyre comes out ("I don't care about the belt...I just want that little nurse of yours.").  There is a long pause.  Everyone is wondering who will be the fifth competitor.  Then, Mangle steps out and comes to the ring!  "Coroner said ANYBODY!!!"   The first one to fight Dr. Punishment is......Sado!!

 

DR. PUNISHMENT  vs.  SADO

 

Dr. Punishment starts out by executing a clothesline and follows it up with an avalanche.  Staggered from the impact, Sado receives the Doctor's Orders (a moonsault suplex).  Fury (Sado's slave/partner) distracts the ref, keeping Dr. Punishment from getting the 3-count.  Sado comes back with a swinging neckbreaker.  He places Dr. P in the corner and goes for a running shoulder smash, but Doc flips himself up, sending Sado crashing into the turnbuckle underneath him.  This sets Sado up for an impressive bulldog.  But Sado gets right back up, throws Doc into the ropes with his immense power and executes a flying cross body block. Doc gets up.  The champion successfully pulls off a gut-wrench suplex.  The two combatants soon find themselves battling it out on the floor. Sado's superior strength dominated the action outside of the ring. Sado lobs him back in the ring and slaps on the Torture Lock submission finisher.  Doc managed to elbow him in the stomach, releasing himself from the painful hold.  He rapidly went straight for the Doctor's Orders again, knowing that his strength was drained, and connects with it!  1...2...3!!!  Dr. Punishment wins it at 16:49.

 

DR. PUNISHMENT  vs.  MANGLE

 

Nurse has a worried look as Mangle steps into the ring.  Doc's fatigue prevents him from gaining the initiative against the monstrous Mangle.  Mangle goes for the throat with a spine cracker. Doc screams out in pain.  Mangle then goes for a head grinder, intensifying the pain even more.  Dr. Punishment already looks as if he's a gonner.  He's standing dazed, in the center of the ring.  Mangle takes a step back and lets loose a Behemoth Punch, knocking Doc about 3 feet off the mat.  Mangle snatches him up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes.  Amazingly, Doc uses the ropes' as a springboard for a clothesline that actually staggers the big man.  Doc then slips behind Mangle and locks on the Gurney submission finisher.  Mangle doesn't have the leverage to escape, and after about 3 minutes, he taps out, giving Dr. Punishment the win at  6:10.

 

DR. PUNISHMENT  vs.  PYRE

 

Pyre and Dr. Punishment (who were the two finalists in the tourney to determine who became CDW's first champion) exchanged a few insults.  Doc nails her with a bulldog.  He tries for a scissor lock (trying to end it fast, as he is exhausted), but she easily busts out.  He throws her into the turnbuckle and plugs her with an avalanche.  She's staggered.  He takes advantage with a solid dropkick. It barely phases her.  She launches Doc into the ropes and hits with a cross body.  Pyre takes the wind completely out of his sails by giving him not one, but two groin strikes. She executes her patented Frankensteiner and gets the 3-count!!!! (5:41)

 

PYRE  vs.  ULTRONIX

 

Ultronix and Pyre seem almost friendly, but this soon expires as Ultronix nails her with Critical Hit.  She's bleeding from the mouth a bit. She wipes the blood off her mouth, then licks it from her hand.  Ultronix moves in with an Iron Cross.  The two wrestlers go out of the ring and Ultronix whacks the new champ with a chair. He rolls her back in the ring and goes for his finishing maneuver the Nerve Overload.  He gets the 2-count as Death Brand (her brother/lover/partner) makes the save.  Ultronix delivers a noggin knocker and goes for the Nerve Overload again.  1....2....3!!!  Ultronix wins the match at 3:28.

 

ULTRONIX  vs.  NECRONIA

 

Necronia opens with a northern lights suplex and covers him for the 1-count.  She press slams him!!!  Then, Necronia gives him a backbreaker!!  She throws him into the ropes and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline.  Necronia wants that belt!!  Avalanche!!   And then two consecutive backbreakers!!!  Necronia moves in for the kill with a camel clutch.  He almost taps out, but grabs the bottom rope to break the hold.  Ultronix makes his first offensive with a clothesline and a "chokehold of iron",from  which she escapes.  He plugs her with a bionic thrust!  She comes back, delivering a fireman's carry drop.  She lobs him into the ropes, but he comes off with an elbow smash.  Ultronix uses a punch to soften her up, but she answers with a drop DDT.  She attempts a hammerlock suplex, but he counters with an abdominal stretch.  She barely slips out of it, but is exhausted!!  He locks the stretch on again.  She easily escapes.  He tries it again, but this time she knew he would try it, so she uses a double-leg takedown and goes for a high boston crab, which he escapes.  He irish whips her into the ropes, but on the rebound, Necronia surprises him with a perfect sunset flip and cover.  She got a 2 3/4 count!!  seeing that Ultronix is hurt, she executes her dreaded Post-Mortem Pile Driver.  She would've got the 3-count but Dr. Punishment clubs her in the back, breaking the pin.  It's obvious he wants this match to be prolonged so that whoever faces him in the next match would be as worn out as possible.  He exits the ring.  But Ulronix was barely even getting to his feet, so she hits him with the Post-Mortem Pile Driver again.  1....2....3!!!!!!!!!!!! (35:20)

 

THE FINAL MATCH!!!!

 

NECRONIA  vs. DR. PUNISHMENT.............FOR THE CDW WORLD TITLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Necronia begins the match aggressively by hurling Doc into the corner with a loud "thud".  She pounds him with a series of wicked corner piston punches.  He grabs her by the hair and slings her into the opposite corner following up with an avalanche!!  Doc executes an impromptu belly to belly suplex.  Taking advantage of the fact that she had been put in some hellish submission holds in her last match, he puts her in the Gurney.  Master Jack comes in for the save, but Doc punches him, knocking the pseudo demon through the ropes.  He turns back to the exhausted Necronia, gives her the Doctor's Orders and comes away with the 3-count......AND the World Title!!  (3:52)   Dr. Punishment walks out with his belt, looks at the  Blood-o-Vision (where a visibly angry Coroner's image can be seen), and says "You're going to have to do better that that if you want to punish me, Coroner!".  With that, he and Nurse leave the arena.   Ultronix, who has been standing at ringside, is being bitched out by Simon Victor for trying to "get in the CDW instead of SEL".  He has his finger in Ultronix's face and screaming at him.  Ultronix picks Victor up, dumps him into the front row and tells him that he won't take shit off of anyone.  He begins to walk out, when Coroner (who's still on the screen) stops him.   "Ultronix....if you need official employment, I'd love to take you on as a well-paid body guard.  However, there is a condition.  You are now, as deemed by me, the number one contender for the World Title.  If you can defeat Dr. Punishment at Combat Zone,  then you've got the job.  Do we have a deal?"   Ultronix replies, "Yes.  I currently have limited pride-circuitry in my body, so I will accept the offer". He then leaves.   "Well, it looks like alot of things are left unresolved." says Slick,"Maybe some of this stuff will get cleared up at Combat Zone in two weeks. One thing's for sure.....things can't get much more volatile here in the CDW".   "I hope things can get more volatile!!  I want to see blood!  I want to see a large pile of bodies!", declares Toxeedus.   "That's so typical of you, Toxeedus.", says Luscious, "This is a wrestling organization....of course, I REALLY would like to see Psychic Fiend be in that heap of bodies you were mentioning!"   "THAT'S the spirit!"   Anyway, that wraps things up here for this edition of CDW Saturday Night Slaughter.  We'll see you again next week.  Have a great week, everyone."   "And maybe next week, we'll see more carnage instead of this mamby-pamby wrestling crap!"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

 

And now..."Flash In the Pan" featuring veteran wrestling columnist, Flash

 

   Hello there friends...Flash here with my ever popular and oh-so-witty look at the behind-the-scenes workings of your favorite wrestling show...CdW is gettin' a lot of pop lately with the reappearance of some of the best wrestlers of IGWA and some of the toughest new hombres to ever crawl, kick and scream their way into the squared circle. Now, some of our viewers have expressed sadness or even resentment at the current CdW promotion saying that they're just a cheap knock-off of the IGWA wrestling experience...that their new wrestlers are a pale imitation of those found at the lowest of IGWA's fabled ranks...well, take it from me, pal...it just ain't so! Now, don't get that little look goin' and don't start the chainsaw up on my account; I'm still the ever loving Flash...the same guy that's been writing about the happenings in and out of the ring since ole' Rambling Dan finished training with his mentor, the IRON BUTTERFLY (man was he a good dancer...he could do the cha-cha like NO ONE's bussiness), its just that I've come to know some of these newbies and let me tell ya, they may be a bunch of psychos straight from the loonybin of your choice, but they're no slouches when it comes to the big show.  I was at IGWA (in the press box, to be more precise) when Bloodletter and Psychotica first killed...er, I mean... beat their first opponets. I was also there when Mangle and Energon2 squared off on their first of many titanic fights. I've also been present to see Dr. Punishment defend his belt from a handful of potential Champs. Sure it was a stacked deck. Sure it was an unethical way to deal with a champion the stature of Dr. punishment, but man was it exciting. I just about choked on my popcorn when DP beat Necronia (or the little girl claiming to be the former Women's Champ from IGWA). These newbies are for real!!  Now, I hear Salvidore Silvio (former promoter-wanna-be and father of the beautiful female Lucha Libre, Nina Silvio) is back in town with a new promtion viaing for the wrestling fan's attention. His stoolie, a man calling himself Simon Victor claims Silvio has in his Fed a whole slew of IGWA's unaccounted for wrestlers. At least 12 top notch names were dropped by the slimy creep Victor. Well, even before the night was over, one of Silvio's own newbies, a huge robotic chap called ULTRONIx switched from SEL to join CdW as Mr. Coroner's own bodyguard! Now, if that Silvio feller's promotion is all that, why can't he keep his newest muscle?  To learn more about this SEL, I asked my Great-Nephew, ace reporter Jack (I shoulda been a lawyer) Hammer to go onboard the Silvio fleet and see what's shaken'. (The rest of my article will be his...never shared it with anyone...hope the little guy doens't get comfy or I'll have to put the smack down on him...ha!)

Flash in the Pan (Part Two: cortesy of Jack Hammer)

   Hi guys! Jack Hammer here onboard the flagship of the Silvio fleet and man is it huge! The fleet is made up of twenty massive ships (capital ships and colonial cruisers from advanced pionerring groups from many years ago). The largest of the ships," the Lucha's Dream", is the HQ of SEL, Mr.Silvio's new wrestling promotion. The way I understand it, as the rich worlds of New Madrid were being obliterated by the war, Silvio saved tens of thousands of people aboard these ships. Off into deep space they went, looking to the lost worlds fabled to exist somewhere on the other side of the galaxy. Not having found them, the fleet eventually came to the outer fringe and began recruiting a league. Now, they're here and Vyle has struck a deal with 'em...a deal to have SEL as a rival promotion to CdW. This should, in theory, give CdW competition and keep things running in tip-top shape.  Now, I've been trying to get an opportunity to interview Mr. Silvio, but it just doesn't seem possible. You see, most of the survivors of the war see him as a living god! He saved them and they are his children. Even Nina Silvio, Salvidore's headstrong daughter and a damn fine looking...er...fine wrestler from IGWA, is swept away in this hero worship. Ofcoarse, they also have some of the heels we all loved to hate...people like Bad Blood, 200 Wins (he now goes by Winner, I'd guess cause he lost count...ha, ha!!), Habanero (someone tell Ms. FireCracker that hubbies back!), and a guy that looks a heck-uv-a lot like StarWarrior!  Now, I'm in the ring at SEL...its kinda small and feels like I'm walking on my bed matress...cushy. The ring ropes sparkle (sigh), the lights flicker in a technicolor sort of way (double sigh), I mean...where's the action? The excitement? The Blood? (Sheesh, they made me agree with Toxeedus and I hate that twit!)  By talking to the average wrestlers, I've learned that Jesus here has only stepped in the ring once before...and he's set to fight StarWarrior! Ofcoarse, they plan to call him the Spanish Annihilator by fight time...(I'm not making this up)! Steve over there's supposed to be going against Bad Blood...and he's a janitor! I think I'm seeing a trend....  Now I'm watching Debra (lots-o-saggin) Mallory whose set to fight Nina in the Best of Three series tonight! OOOhhh, she just closed lined herself while getting into the ring...hope she's ok.        Dear Mr. Coroner....don't worry about sending sabotuers to SEL...they're doing fine as is...               Keep 'em Fightin',                 J.H. and Flash.      

WRESTLER PROFILE  :   NECRONIA

IN BRIEF :   Necronia is a pseudo-demon and necromancer.  She once held the IGWA Women's Title and ruled that circuit almost with an iron fist.  For more details on her, check out the CDW Bible.

PERSONALITY :   Necronia is a dead serious woman with a straight-forward edge.  She doesn't play around and always cuts right to the point.  Because of this, she is a natural leader.  In fact, she led the Inferno for quite some time and did a great job at it. 

APPEARANCE :   Necronia looks like a young girl.  Her appearance has a creepiness about it, because although she wears her morbid black & red face paint, she wears little girlish dresses (usually little pink fluffy dresses and such).  This contrast gives her a quite disturbing appearance.  She has long, beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyes.    

NECRONIA  

LEVEL 1 OFFENSE

 

1. Camel Clutch 1 (SH)

2. Drop DDT  2

3. Spinning Bulldog  3

4. Corner Piston Punches  2

5. Flying Mare  2

6. Fireman's Carry Drop  3  

 

LEVEL 2 OFFENSE

 

1. Into the ropes

2. Hammerlock Suplex 1 (pw)

3. Backbreaker  3

4. High Boston Crab  2

5. Knee to Head Grind  2

6. Northern Lights Suplex  3  

 

LEVEL 3 OFFENSE

 

1. Into the ropes (c)

2. Into the turnbuckle

3. Big Splash  3

4. Brainbuster  3

5. Press Slam  3

6. POST MORTEM PILEDRIVER  (+3)  

 

LEVEL 1 DEFENSE

 

1. Hurt  2

2. NECRONIA  1

3. NECRONIA 2

4. Dazed 1

5. NECRONIA 1

6. Dazed 1 (tag)  

 

LEVEL 2 DEFENSE

 

1. NECRONIA  1

2. NECRONIA  1

3. Hurt  2 (tag)

4. Hurt  2 (tag)

5. Dazed 1

6. Dazed  1  

 

LEVEL 3 DEFENSE

 

1. PIN  6 (3)

2. Hurt  2

3. Hurt  2

4. Down  3 (tag) (lv)

5. Down  3 (tag)

6. Hurt  2    

 

Ropes :  B

Turnbuckle :  B

Ring :  A

Deathjump :  B

Brawl :  A  

 

Disqualification : 5

Cage : 4

Elimination : 3

Agility :   -1

Power :   -3 SLI  

 

THE UNSUNG HEROES OF CDW

 

    The fans may go nuts whenever Void Knight comes out.  They inevitably "boo" when the Psychic Empire makes an appearance.  And when a match is very entertaining, the fans yell, cheer and go wild!  And there's nothing wrong with that.  However, many fans overlook some of the most vital personalities of the CDW......the commentators.  The commentators are the ones who add the extra "oomph" to the CDW experience.  They bring the action alive!       So, let's take a few minutes to get to know a few of the CDW commentators.  

 

Toxeedus:  Whether you love him or hate him, this commentator has a particular charm that is often hard to understand.  He loves...no, CRAVES violence.  He isn't a terribly big fan of "wrestling", as he prefers the bloodier "pit fighting" combat.  He was here during the pit fighting "organization" era that was replaced by CDW.  In fact, he often comes off as a bit bitter about that.  Even still, Toxeedus is entertaining and it's certainly impossible to just ignore his comments.....they're just too silly for that.  

 

Slick:  Slick is a highly wealthy intergalactic pimp (who treats his "employees" with respect).  He began commentating about six years ago, because of his love for wrestling.  He began as a heel commentator, but he soon showed his true colors as a somewhat loveable wrestling enthusiast/commentator.   

 

Luscious:  Luscious is the sister of the late, great female wrestler, Desire and the daughter of Thantos.  She's a damn fine wrestler herself (it runs in the family), but lately she's been commentating more than wrestling.  She adds a sense of humbleness to the commentating team, as she is quite down to earth and sweet.  But, boy does she have a temper.  

 

Ramblin' Dan:  Dan was one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Very spry at his old age, Dan is a clever, wily and sarcastic man who isn't afraid of anything.  He's not shy about the greatness of his wrestling career.  But somehow, the fans LOVE him.  His odd sense of humor and smart-assed remarks (not to mention his passion for soggy pine-apples) captures the hearts of most CDW fans.    

 

PARTING REMARKS  

 

Thanks again for supporting CDW Extreme.  It's proving to be alot of fun for us and (judging by the feedback) you readers as well.     By the way, if you guys will send in requests for the Wrestler Spotlight section, we'll do our best to see that those wrestlers get put in the issues to come.  That way, we're not shooting in the dark as to who you'd like to have featured in Extreme.=0)   So, we hope you liked this issue.  The Saturday Night Slaughter was a lot longer that it will usually be....we just had a busy "show".  Hopefully it'll give you added insight into our federation.  Please let us know what you thought of it, because we're all very proud of how it turned out.   Please keep the e-mail coming.  Your suggestions, input and advice are very vital to this e-zine.     See ya in the ring! ----THE CORONER'S CREW