===============================================
HUMOR
===============================================

WOMEN THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING
BUT WAIT.....TRAINING COURSES ARE NOW AVAILABLE
FOR WOMEN ON THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman
�� Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking:
�� Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores
�� Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the
�� Bathroom Cabinet Too

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort,
�� not the First

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want
�� Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: "Poor me syndrome" Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence
��� Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

26. The Toilet : You can learn to leave the seat up

===============================================

Thanks to!
GIBBLEGUTS.COM
recommend it to someone
you really loathe.
http://www.gibbleguts.com

===============================================

Subject:� Read the text
before you look at the picture


This ad appeared in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette� on Thursday June 17th
The unfortunate photographic illusion was quickly noticed (look at the bike
seat)
and action was taken to correct the advertisement but� not before the image
made it to the
newsstand....They should have used a bike seat that that was not tan in
color.



From: Jade <[email protected]>

===============================================
Comments
===============================================

This is an open letter to all vacationers, beachgoers, and other tourists
who may bring or rent a bike while on vacation,

Please...think about what you're doing!

Yesterday, I went down to the Virginia Beach oceanfront for the big sand
soccer tourney. www.sandsoccer.com

Knowing the parking and traffic situation, my son and I brought our bikes to
get around. Parked about 4 blocks back from the beach, and rode. In 10
minutes, I saw more illegal, stupid, and downright dangerous bike riding
than I do in a month of regular riding aound.

I understand that you may be on vacation, and its a party atmosphere, but
THINK. You are out on a street with moving cars, or you are on a boardwalk
filled to the brim with pedestrians.

A bike is not a toy. Especially when ridden on the road.If you're in the
crosswalk....WALK. Its called a crossWALK for a reason. SideWALKS are the
same way. 5 mph max, please. While on the street..you are traffic. Act like
it.

I understand you want to have fun. But the emergency room is not my idea of
fun.
Don't jump off the sidewalk without looking.
Don't ride facing traffic.
Don't decide to take a sudden left, when you're next to the righthand curb.
Don't ride fast on the boardwalk.
BE CAREFUL! Please!

A few special dedications.

To the guy on the blue and white Cannondale, with the VOLVO team jersey:
The boardwalk is not your private training facility. I realize that the bike
path is under construction. But that does not give you license to ride as
fast as you think you can, weaving in and out of pedestrians. I saw the old
woman you almost knocked down. Walking pace, please. Otherwise...there are
many, many other places to ride within a couple of blocks, where you can go
as fast as the cars. Go there.

To the couple (carefully helmeted) riding on the street, side-by-side,
facing traffic:
You scare me. I paced you for a couple of blocks, and the number of cars
that had to make sudden, dangerous movements because YOU felt facing traffic
is "safer" was staggering. I really didn't relish the thought of having to
come over and render aid had you gotten squished.

Finally...to the chubby guy on the rental who cannot seem to ride in
anything approaching a straight line:
The street is nowhere to figure out how to maintain your balance. Nor is it
a playground. You knew I was coming up on you. I called out about 30 yards
back. You and your friend both saw me. As I went to pass...you chose that
moment to start swerving again. Almost launched me into a line of moving
cars.
I seriously considered just leaning in and giving you a hard shoulder, and
launching YOU. You had the mass (fat) but I have the skill and momentum. You
would have gone down. Hard. Next time...I will.

Pete

===============================================
Endorsements
===============================================

I enjoyed the web pages...particularly the convention pictures.� I am looking forward to joining you on some of your rides this spring. ... Klaus

===============================================
�

I followed a link from rec.bicycles.rides to you page. I like it. I am in two Philadelphia bike clubs.

Bill Cotton: Lat/Lon N40� 02.867', W75� 09.105'
[email protected]
���� [email protected]��
[email protected]
http://billcotton.homestead.com
http://membersdelphi.com/billcotton
http://ourworld.Compuserve.com/homepages/bcotton/homepage.htm

===============================================

I got hooked up to your web page thru your reply in the newsgroup to Opra (or
I like to call her Orka). I live in the Fort Dix area and was looking for a
local bike club. Could you give me some more information on your bike club
(club fees, # of members, etc.). I thought your web page was really good,
alot of information. Thanks in advanced, Mark Hoagland

===============================================
Tour Information - Maui
===============================================

For some time I've been collecting information on user
experiences taking bikes on planes, trains, buses, boats, etc.
There's lots of stuff on airlines and RRs around the world and
how to ride in/out of about 120 airports.�

This is to let you know that I have added your notes on the above
subject (found on the touring newsgroup) to my website at the
following URL.� Please let me know if you wish any changes.

George Farnsworth
http://www.BikeAccess.net


RePete wrote:
>
> I rode the North Shore of Maui back in 1995.� It is extremely hilly with
> wonderful views!� I took my video camera along.� Bring plenty of water...not
> much out on the North Shore and water stops are few and far apart.
>
> I rented a mountain bike from West Maui Cycle in Lahaina...price was very
> reasonable for a day, believe about $25.
>
> Visit my web site for more cycling info at:
>
> http://www.geocities.com/repete_bike
>
> or
>
> http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Arena/6870
>
> Let me have your stories about this cycling tour or others.� These can be
> included in my Quotes section.
>
> RePete
> 2/5/00
>
> Nelson Mark wrote in message
> <[email protected]>...
> >Has anyone had any experience cycling in Maui?
> >I am going in March with my road bike. Any tips
> >and information would be appreciated!
> >
> >
> >
> >

===============================================

Nelson Mark wrote:
>
> Has anyone had any experience cycling in Maui?
> I am going in March with my road bike. Any tips
> and information would be appreciated!

I spent 6 days on Maui with my girl friend and her sister
just before thanksgiving 1999.

I had planned to rent a bicycle while there and do some
riding.� The one ride I wanted to do for sure was Haleakala.

I rented a Cannondale R-500 road bike with road triple
gearing from West Maui Cycles in Lahaina.� It was $60.
for 3 days.� I brought my own pedals, helmet and seat bag
with tools, etc.� Next time I'll bring a saddle too.

The day I rented the bike I just rode it back to where we
were staying, near Napili, about 10 miles north of Lahaina.

The next day I started about 7:00 am from our place and
rode south on hwy. 30 past Ma'alaea, north on 380 to 36 to
the Haleakala Hwy (37).� At this point I decided the saddle
position on the bike wasn't right and I lowered it and moved
it back a bit.� I think I got it right, but it may have been
too late.� It was a little past 9:00 am and the climbing just
begins here.� It is 38 miles and 10,000 ft to the summit.

I continued several miles to a left turn on 377 and then a few
more miles to a left on 378.� I stopped here at the Sunrise
Market for lunch.� It was about 12:30 and I still had 21 miles
and 6500 ft. to go.

When I was riding south on hwy 30, I could see the volcano and
the summit, but there was a cloud band in the middle.� Riding
up, I found this to be thick fog from about 5000 ft to about
7000 ft.� It was depressing.� I also saw many cyclists doing
the commercial 'ride down the mountain' trips.� They were all
going very slowly.

I finally broke out of the fog into beautiful sunshine, but all
I could see was the mountain above me and clouds below.� Not the
best of views, but good enough.� I reached the ranger station
just inside the park with about 10 miles and 3000 ft. to go.
It was maybe about 3:00.� I had a cell phone and I was supposed to
call my friends at 4:00 and let them know where to meet me with
the car.� I knew from the outset that I couldn't complete the
whole ride back to our place before dark.� It would have been
140 miles.

I was seriously considering quitting at this point.� I had been
suffering from a low grade viral infection for some weeks, and
I had saddle sores and was not riding really well.� But, when
I pulled into the parking lot at the ranger station, a guy and
his wife approached and introduced themselves.� He works for
Cannondale and wanted to know if it was my own bike.� They took
my picture and gave me their address and phone number.� He said
I should call him and tell him if I went all the way, and if I
did, he would send me some Cannondale stuff. (I did call him, and
he sent me a jersey and some gloves.)

Then I went in the ranger station, and the ranger said I was one
of very few who ride up, and when I told her I'd ridden from Napili,
she was really impressed.� So I decided I couldn't quit.� I figured
I had enough daylight to ride until 6:00, and I could surely make
the summit by then, and if my friends had to drive all the way up
to get me, so be it.

At 4:00, I was still about 1000 ft below the summit, but I stopped
and called my friends and told them I'd call again from the summit
when I got there.� I got to the summit just before 5:00 and called
and told them I would ride back down to the Sunrise Market and wait
there.� I didn't even really look around, although with the clouds
there wasn't much to see anyway.� I just put on my arm and leg warmers
and wind breaker and started down.

The descent was nice for a while, but I was somewhat cold.� I stopped
again at the ranger station which was now closed to just warm up a bit.
The air was somewhat warmer from here down to Sunrise Market, but it
was still a little foggy and starting to get darker.� I couldn't see
the sunset through the fog.� I got to the market around 6:00 and waited
for my ride.� They arrived about 20 minutes later.

I'm glad I did it, but if I were going to do it again, I would bring
my own saddle if not my own bike.� Also I wouldn't start 30+ miles
from the start of the climb.� I would start in Kahului or Pa'ia.
Also, I would hope to not be sick; that would help a lot.

As mentioned elsewhere in this thread, another nice ride is the loop
around the northwest part of the island.� I had planned to do this the
following day, but I wasn't up for it.� I just rode back to Lahaina and
returned the bike.

BTW, there is a gallery just past Kahakuloa on the right (if you're
going clockwise).� They sell soft drinks here.

I hope you have a good time and enjoy your riding whatever you decide
to do.

/Mark

--
Mark Sapiro <[email protected]>������ The highway is for gamblers,
San Francisco Bay Area, California��� better use your sense - B. Dylan