As I grow older ,and I see the things that happen along the way, I sometimes wonder if at any time, we could change things so that they would fall into our way of life as it is. One of those things, that I wish we could change, is the losing of our youngsters to the various hazards in our  being. As time goes by in the last few years , I personaly have been affected, by the friendship of several young people who since have departed this earth, to be with our Great Father in Heaven. The way that they had to experience the last years of thier lives here on earth was in pain and unrest, but with the thought that they might be the ones to beat that dreaded disease called cancer. You do all you can with the help from the doctors and nurses, as well as all the friends, and you hope that you are the one to finally beat cancer. There are many out there that have  beaten cancer ,and are doing great and you know that you will be joining that group of survivors.

My wife Ramona, and I had a daughter named Patricia, who went home to be with GOD almost six years ago. The time without her has been very rough, and not having her here with us, breaks our hearts. This young lady taught me through her sickness, that nothing is impossible. There are miracles out there and you or I can be the ones to recieve it. But what if that miracle does not come in the form of life, but in the form of death? What will those who are still here going to do without thier loved one? Do we question The Great Father on why he took our loved one instead of someone else? Do we stop living because we have lost that child? Or do we accept it and put our trust in Him that he needed that child who He sent to us to take care of and nurtue until that day would come that he or she goes back home.? Those are questions that this old man will try to give his thoughts  on in this column. And let me make this comment first that no two parents  takes the loss of a child in the same way. Mothers for example have already had a nine month jump on the fathers, due to carrying that precious child in her belly.

First off, we should never ask why GOD took them home. He sent them to us and sometimes He needs them back sooner than expected. Generally that young child would be witness to his or her parents and grandparents being called HOME before he or she will. Life does go on and there is life for all of us here on earth without that loved one. You still have the memories of that child and you should cherish the pleasure that those memories give you. Talk about your lost to anyone who will listen and do it with tears or smiles, because you earned that right by being a part of that childs family. The time between the arriving of that Angel from GOD, and the departure of that Angel back to HEAVEN, is just a blink of the eye. Think about it. Think back to that glorious day when you were witness to the greatest day of your life. That little wrinkled baby who was sent to you to raise and love, and the sound of his or her crying proclaiming that he or she was here to accept the love and care of two parents , will always stay there in your memories. You would never think that that child would go home before you do. But it does happen and we must accept it as the will of GOD and move on in our lives, because that it what that Angel who was part of your life , would want you to do.

I take life one day at a time, and that is what those who have been strickened with that terrible disease, do with thiers. Each day is cherished, and the hope for tomorrow is always in thier thoughts. The thought that this might be your last day here on earth, can also be used as what most who have been through it, call "packing your bags". How many of us go about each day and don't have our bags packed? This is the time to get everything ready, so that when you leave to go HOME, everything is ready here on earth for your survivor to continue living. This could be a will, or it could be a power of attourney. Leave this world with preparation. And above all don't let a day go by without telling all those loved ones that you love them. Just because your "bags are packed" it doesn't mean that you are leaving. There are those out there who have defeated that disease but still have thier bags packed.

Then , make peace with all those who you have been displeased with. Tell them that you love them and you  need thier friendship. Believe it that you are doing a lot for them by doing this. Too many times we have lost someone, without them knowing that we love them.

And most of all, make your peace with GOD in the way that you feel comfortable in. That is the easiest thing to do because GOD loves all of us and He shows it each day. Patricia asked me about three days before she died, when she set up in bed, coming out of her coma, this question. "Daddy, how do I do it?" I asked her what it was and she said, "how do I die?" I told her that only GOD can tell you that , and that when that times comes, "to just go on home". I know where she is and I accept our loss.

The loss of a child due to any kind of reason, whether it is a car accident, a shooting, or even because of drugs, is something that will live forever in the minds of those left behind. What we, as those who are left without that child, do with our lives, depends on how you accept that loss.

I wrote this article in memory not only of Patricia, but of Tim, who most knew as "T Bone", Stephanie, who I never met , Kent, Joe, Carolyn, and all those others who have entered the "Gates Of  Heaven". Our memories of that time that you were here on earth, will always be our reason for believing, and for taking our time left "One day at a time". Like Patty and Carolyn who went about thier life like nothing was wrong, although they were hit with cancer, I found the same in Kent and Joe. These two young men also were taken down with that terrible disease, yet they went about thier lives with strength and courage. Both of these men were a credit to the rest of us. As they went through the motions with chemo and radiation to fight the cancer, they never gave up on life. As time went by and the wear and tear of thier bodies made them weak, you still saw the hope in thier eyes that they would defeat that disease. They never gave up, and life went on one day at a time. I sort of accepted those two young men as my own because I knew what they were going through. You never give up on life as long as there is hope. I know deep in my heart that the six people I mentioned are with GOD and they don't hurt anymore. So maybe the miracle here was death as we know it, because they are in a much better place.

We are blessed in our lives with the births of our Angels sent by God and we are blessed now knowing that they are home with the arms of  The Great Father wrapped around them

As always, I hope that through this column, I am doing some good and I hope that you, the reader will get some satisfaction knowing that I do care about you. Through my everyday thoughts, I ask GOD to bless each and every one of you. And if before the next article is written, The Great Father calls me home, then I hope that I have left some legacy through my thoughts that will carry you through the rest of your life.

You can catch all of my writings for this year of 2000 on my web site at http://www.geocities.com/kokomoman/   Also if you have any comments you can reach me at my e-mail address at [email protected]

Ray "Uncle Ray" Day