The Charity Challenge
Mark Varley
BICC 4 Man City 1
2 VARLEY'S, A VALLEY AND A FUNERAL (Not starring Hugh Grant)
Date: Wednesday 7th May
Venue: The Pulse Stadium at Valley Parade, Bradford
Game: Bradford and Ilkley Community College vs. MCIVTA select XI (ish)
At last the MCIVTA team had a stage of high enough standard to cope with our skills
for this game at the home of Bradford City. After various appeals, a team of sorts was
cobbled together to play in this charity match against a team of staff and (a lot of
foreign, i.e. good) students from the local college. As we came together before the
game, a few of the doubting Thomases were still questioning me as to whether I had
deceived them into thinking that the game wasn't really at Valley Parade, but instead
on a bit of grass with jumpers for goalposts ("Young boys in the park" etc.). Soon
these fears were put to rest as we got to stand outside the ground for 20 minutes
without a sign of life from within. Luckily we were finally let in when the opposition
turned up (nepotism at its worst - wait for them to turn up!) and in we went.
It was looking a bit bad for us when after a couple of people couldn't play, dropped
out or didn't turn up, we found ourselves down to 9 players. Obviously we didn't
fancy being docked 3 points, so we were going to play anyway. Although playing
away from home, we wore blue home kit that did us proud as it was the only
professional thing to come from us all afternoon! :-) Warming up in front of a crowd
approaching 50-60 people we were soon greeted with the sight of Colin Surrey
dashing across the pitch to boost our numbers after a few days in the Lake District
doing altitude training or something similar. Also enlisted into the ranks was the
sports presenter from the local radio station - The Pulse. We looked good in warm up,
so obviously they were fearful of us even if they didn't show it. We lined up as
follows:
Martin Barnes
Andy Richardson Mark Hampson Mark Varley Martin Ford
Sam Al-Hamdani Joe Coogan Colin Surrey Matt Varley
Paul Sheppard Chris Cooper
4-4-2 it was to be and from the kick off we were under pressure. As most of us hadn't
met until 60 minutes before kick off, team spirit and communication wasn't the easiest
thing to foster. Our goalkeeper had suffered a broken leg 5 months ago and was
making his comeback, half the team played football only occasionally and Martin
Ford and myself are fat b***ards! A victory for us? Maybe not! We fell behind early
on from a goal I don't remember too much about. One of their players lamped it 25
yards and caught our 'keeper off his line. 1-0 BICC.
We started to organise ourselves a little bit after this and the back 4 started to play
the off-side trap a lot better than Arsenal or our lot manage to do it. The offside flag
was up often before the linesman made a terrible decision and they scored a second
(offside!) goal from a cross. I know it was offside as I had my hand up and our
goalkeeper agreed! Proof enough in my book. 2-0 to BICC and it was only about 20
minutes into the game. The floodgates could have oh so easily opened. We stood
firm however and continued to catch them offside whilst managing the odd counter
of our own. We were getting back into it and were the better team going into the
break. Half time, BICC 2 MCIVTA 0
During the break our centre forward from the local radio station proved to be a
typical media type and cry off with a sore leg. No problem for us though as God was
on our side. Reverend Mike Harrison came on for us in midfield with Joe Coogan
pushed up into attack. We started off the second half as the brighter of the two
teams and God was indeed shining upon us when we pulled one back via Joe
Coogan after a scramble in the area early in the half. BICC 2 MCIVTA 1.
We were now back in it. Unfortunately we had no other subs and despite
pressurising them for another 10 minutes, fatigue and injuries began to take their
toll. Mark Hampson got injured and had to limp around in midfield for the rest of the
game. Then yours truly, who had injured his ankle earlier, also developed cramp
when clearing the ball and had to limp around too. Now we were down to 8 fit men, 2
cripples and a man of the cloth. Ideal for a church service, not ideal for a game of
football.
They started to run us ragged and looked to have made it 3-1 when they put a cross
into the 6 yard box and a shot was easily converted from close in. The goal was
disallowed though as I was the last man back and slipped off the pitch causing the
striker to be offside (Kit and the lads should take note of this!). The legs got a lot
more wearier and they bagged 2 more goals to make the final score BICC 4 MCIVTA 1.
Trooping off dejectedly, we were soon cheered up by the selection of pies in the
dressing room. Excuses were then made to justify the defeat and it was off to the
bar for a drink or two.
Many thanks to all the lads who turned out for this match and made it a great
occasion. Quite a bit of money was raised too for the Lord Mayor's Appeal (he was
there to meet us before the game) which was a bit handy!
Here's hoping that we do a bit better at the Euronet Tournament!
