The expecting announcement

The birth press release

Long Branch (AP): The Nelson Corporation is proud to announce it's latest I.P.O. Trading began on Kristoffer Leonard Nelson at 2:11 pm for 4lb. 6oz. followed shortly after by Lindsay Kathleen Nelson at 2:13 pm for 1lb. 15oz. Chief-Ovary Officer Paul was heard to say "despite early concern on Wall Street, the corporation is tired, but stronger than ever". The deal was completed on the 15th day of June 1998 at the Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch, NJ.
Dave
Press Secretary for the Nelson Corporation

The birth press conference

CEO of Nelson Corp. Discusses Spin-offs
Long Branch NJ :(AP) Paul Nelson today announced further developments in the spin-off of two subsidiaries, Lindsey and Kristoffer. To the sound of popping flashbulbs and clicking cameras, Mr.. Nelson, looking dapper and refreshed after the spin-off ordeal took the podium. Nelson : "Good morning ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming. First I want to thank everyone for the prayers and well wishes which are working wonders for all of us.
Chief Ovary Officer Lisa Nelson is recovering well. Her physician stated that she does not look like a woman that has just had a c-section. She is sore, but in good spirits and also thanks everyone for their attentions.
Our first subsidiary was Kristoffer, born nameless because the company officers could not agree on a name. Kristoffer, as reported was 4 lb. 6 oz. and 16 inches long. His lungs required assistance and medication which he responded well to. He was on a respirator for the first 12 hours as a fully tax deductible issue. When taken off he was breathing on his own and resting comfortably throughout his first full day. Drs. give him an excellent AAA+ rating and said he will be transportable in 8 to 10 days. From that time, he will pursue his genetically implanted goals of a Heisman trophy, Lombardi Trophy and future CEO of his own corporation.
The second subsidiary, Lindsey, was born with her name, and carries it well. She was also reported correctly as 1 lb. 15 oz. and was 14 inches long. The technical term for her size is 'itty bit'. Lindsey required no breathing assistance and no medication. She did have a blood transfusion during the night of 6/16-6/17 which medical professionals has stated as a normal premmie condition. These same professionals also give Lindsey a AAA+ rating. In regards to both spin-offs the Drs. are overheard saying 'remarkable results', 'better than normal' and 'absolutely adorable'.
Lindsey is expected to be released for further public review in mid-July. Drs. expect her lungs and breathing to be fine and would keep her only until her weight is above 4.5 lb.. Once home, Lindsey will pursue her genetically implanted goals of a Heisman Trophy, Lombardi Trophy, Wimbledon championship and CEO and COO of her own corporation.
Once again, thank you all".
After leaving the podium Mr. Nelson was observed dabbing his eyes and sniffling. He was escorted to his cubical where he is currently trying to solve Gross Margin's Y2K issues.