Cool Quotes
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. --Hunter S. Thompson
The race may not be to the swift, nor the victory to the strong, but that's how you bet. --Damon Runyon
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. --Groucho Marx
Go, and never darken my towels again. --Groucho Marx
It was a blonde, a blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. --Raymond Chandler
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them. --Jimmy Hoffa
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement? --Fred Allen
I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I. --Frank Crow
If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. --Will Kommen
Science has not yet found a cure for the pun. --Robert Byrne
What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin. --Jerry Lester
If you want to read about love and marraige, you've got to buy two separate books. --Alan King
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. --Woody Allen
I didn't know he was dead. I thought he was British. --Unknown
Go away. I'm all right. --Last words of H.G. Wells
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? --Charlie McCarthy
I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it. --Stephen Wright
Schizophrenia beats dining alone. --Unknown
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.--Lily Tomlin
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? --Dr. Gonzo
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd. --Unknown
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. --George Carlin
I have a rock garden... Last week three of them died. --Richard Divan
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.--Johnny Carson
A terrible thing happened again last night -- nothing. --Phyllis Diller
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. --Unknown
I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. --Lyrics by Oedipus Rex
If there is another way to skin a cat, I don't want to know about it. --Steve Kravitz
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. --Harry F. Banks
What a lousy place for a wall. --Don Karnage
Out of curiousity, which one of the many things I have not forgotten are you referring to? --Darkwing Duck
Never underestimate the need for a good obituary. --Perry White
"As undergraduates, you realize that cleaning is very cost-ineffective, and why
would you bother?"
"If you're salt-deficient, you'll go lick the sweat off your significant
other...there are other physiological drives that will cause the same behavior."
"They've got drive-by shootings in Philadelphia now. Where they park to
reload, I don't know."
On Siamese Fighting Fish: "They're beautiful, they're elegant, they're vicious
as hell...there's a real life lesson here somewhere."
"If I could go through the dorms and shoot people, exam pressures would be put
into perspective."
"As you approach 4.0, study time approaches infinity."
On Oprah Winfrey's income: "$83 million? Oprah and I do basically the same
thing. Stand in front of people and abuse them."
On 'the totally suffering individual' (i.e. no food, no oxygen, no water, no
self-esteem, no safety, no friends, no money, sick and in pain, etc.) "You
can't do this with people, which takes all the fun out of life."
"20 scared-out-of-their-gourds 3 or 4-year olds is an example of what I'd like
to do to some of you who are really getting on my nerves."
"In the spirit of today, when I'm handing out the exams, we're going to further
examine the totally suffering individual."
"We're going to talk about sex--you're going to talk about sex, because I can't
remember."
"The only sense I can make out of having kids is it's a good way to become a
grandparent."
"Men stare at those parts of the female anatomy which carry the subcutaneous
fat necessary for childbearing and lactation. This is not news."
"Look at this [dollar bill], for those of you who haven't seen [one] before."
"If money stopped buying things, I'd lose interest in it."
On fear-reduction techniques and how they can be used to make a bad
relationship last: "If I could use these techniques as well as I can explain
them, do you think I'd be here? And if I was here, I'd look a lot more tired
and happy."
"They don't let us beat students anymore, but my fantasy life is my own
business."
"Supposedly, it is possible to score goals [in field hockey]. However, this
rarely happens because hitting people is so positively reinforcing."
"Usually shooting a professor in the head ticks them off, but sometimes they'll
say 'Thank you.'"
"At 100,000 feet up, you're talking serious, _serious_ long underwear and
oxygen."
"I've been in the academic world a long time...I can sleep with my eyes open,
which is an important skill for those of you considering jobs in middle and
upper management."
"I learned to put the [toilet] seat down...it makes you look like a warm,
caring, sensitive human being."
"You bring someone home, say 'Hi, Mom, this is so-and-so,' she immediately
knows everything except which side of the bed he sleeps on."
"She's human...well, she's a lawyer, but reasonably human."
"We're going to assume a few things about reality. One, it exists. That's not
a necessary assumption, but I find it comforting."
"There are a lot of reasons to skydive. It does take your mind off your
problems."
"There was some brilliant work done with rats, which makes it scientific."
"There are two universes: for males, and for females."
"In the US, males are a minority and should be treated and protected as such."
"Most divorces are just a four-year-long date with a little bookkeeping."
"Happily ever after...there are some people who have achieved that, for the
moment."
"Is another way to put this 'All men are crazy?'"
"I may be more of a romantic than some of you, so feel free to throw up if you
have to."
"Let's assume the semester's over, so dying is a bad thing."
"A college professor is someone smart enough to get a Ph.D., but too crazy to
make a living."
"There's a large amount of evidence saying that the man's point of view is
largely irrelevant."
"Sean Connery is the sexiest man alive? Was I on the list?"
"You watch a talk show recently? They're doing one next month on a normal,
happy heterosexual couple, assuming they can find one."
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into
our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Nice guys finish last.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because
it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't
either.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or
how long it is going to last.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to
how much you love them.
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her
with no hard feelings.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same
ones she can't stand years later.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than
sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
As Benny Hill once said: "Did you ever notice that everyone in favor of
birth control has already been born?"
Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a lifetime.
Found written on a restroom wall once:
Life sucks, but then again so does you girlfriend!
I'm such a lousy lover... One day, I caught a peeping tom booing me!
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
Ya know...I always look for inner beauty in a woman. Once inner...beauty!
When you're feeling so low that you have to reach up to touch bottom, whose
bottom you touch can make a big difference.
Sex is like a bridge game; if you have a good hand, no partner is needed.
The difference between a sex maniac and a regular maniac is that a regular
maniac slits your throat.
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most
insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required
to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting
condition continuously until death do them part.
- George Bernard Shaw _Man and Superman_, 1903
Every advance in civilization has been denounced while it was still recent.
- Bertrand Russell
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe
to be unpopular.
- Adlai Stevenson
I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my
country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray
my country.
- E. M. Forster
Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the
dark place where it leads.
- Erica Jong
Mothers are a biological necessity; fathers are a social invention.
- Margaret Mead
Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he
won't even lay down his newspaper.
- Helen Rowland
If it were natural for father to care for their sons, they would not need so
many laws commanding them to do so.
- Phyllis Chesler
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds
left undone.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
I thought I told you to wait in the car.
- Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing a former lover for the first
time in years
In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it's a fact.
- Marlene Dietrich
People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me
from a doormat or a prostitute.
- Rebecca West
A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
- Monica Piper
The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster.
- Martha Gellman
If men liked shopping, they'd call it research.
- Cythina Nelms
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you
can get rid of him of the entire weekend.
- Zenna Schaffer
Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can
make an exchange for something you really like.
- Adrienne Gusoff
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the
hell off my property."
- Joan Rivers
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding.
A chinese man threw up on me.
- Phyllis Diller
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that
comes along.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers
Ideas Have Consequences.
- name of book by Richard Weaver
At the touch of Love every one becomes a poet.
- Plato
Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never
boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take
offense, and it is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other
people's sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse,
to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come
to an end.
- 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 ( Jerusalem Bible )
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
- French Proverb
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's
last romance.
- Ocsar Wilde
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
- Japanese Proverb
But, O Sarah ! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen
around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest
days and the darkest nights...always, always, and if there be a soft
breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans
you throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not
mourn me dead: think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet
again.
- Major Sullivan Ballou, Union Army, killed in the battle of
First Bull Run (Civil War), from a letter to his wife
The ablity to make love frivolously is the thing which distinguishes
human beings from the beasts.
- Heywood Broun
Marriages are made in heaven and are consummated on earth.
- French Proverb
The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a
lion.
- Arab Proverb
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human
existance.
- Eric Fromm
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the
whole girl.
- Stephen Leacock
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common donominator,
but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
- W. H. Auden
Cry havoc, and unleash the dogs of war.
- , III, i, 274
Shakespeare
When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind
that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed
event.
Robert Pirsig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I see religion as only a way of asking unanswerable questions, of
sharing the joy of a community quest, and solacing one another in our
ignorance.
David J. Boorstin - Living Philosophies
As soon as one is unhappy, one becomes moral.
Proust, Remembrance of Things Past; Within a Budding Grove
The New International Dictionary of Quotations
Hugh Rawson and Margaret Miner
It is not those who can inflict the most, but those who can suffer the
most who will conquer.
Terence McSwiney - IRA man who died on a hunger strike in 1920
John Conroy - Belfast Diary
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Ralph Waldo Emerson - Circles
Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.
Hegel - Philosophy of History
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess
freedom, yet deprecate agitation, are people who want crops
without plowing up the ground, who want rain without thunder and
lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many
waters. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and
it never will.
Frederick Douglass, August 4, 1857
Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it
backwards and in high heels.
-- Attributed to Linda Ellerbee, Ann Richards, and
Faith Whittlesey (1980's)
Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot
see any other honest way of taking them.
-- Marya Mannes, "More in Anger" (1958)
Philosophers can make insoluble problems of the most mundane things.
-Boltzmann
It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one's neighbor.
-- Eric Hoffer
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses--behind the lines, in
the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those
lights.
-- Muhammad Ali
Christianity gave Eros poison to drink; he did not die of it, but
degenerated into a vice.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't
burdened with children.
- Sam Austin
Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament.
-- George Santayana, Spanish-born philosopher
It is not doing the thing we like to do,
but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
What we do not understand we do not possess.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
Nothing is worth more than this day.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
GOETHE (1749-1832)
He who possesses art and science has religion;
he who does not possess them, needs religion.
GOETHE
If Michael Bolton hated Otis Redding that much, why didn't he just
break into his house and murder his wife and kids?
- author of Otis Redding boxed set liner notes, on
Bolton's cover of "Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay"
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
hands for masturbation.
-- Lily Tomlin
I'd rather that a bigot mistake me for a lesbian than that a lesbian
mistake me for a bigot.
-- Tovah Hollander
A goverment big enough to give you everything you want is also big
enough to take it all away.
- Barry Goldwater
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives.
- John Stuart Mill
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical
invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts
them.
- Mark Twain
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in
moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral
justification for selfishness.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Thank God for celebrities because they are there to show us that
[money and beauty can't buy happiness]. They are laboratory animals
injected with fame and then sent reeling for all of us to learn from.
- _People_ magazine senior editor Charles Leerhsen,
commenting on the O.J. Simpson case
I have the heart of a little boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
- Stephen King
When you're swimming in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek,
That's a moray!
- from The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
The one good thing about most puppies is that they will generally, if
allowed, eat their own feces.
- Dennis Leary
Let's all get drunk and go naked,
all get drunk and go naked,
all get drunk and go nayyy-kedddd,
And lie in a great big pile!
- from Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
The likelihood is that the first woman president (will be) a vice
president who gets there by the president dying. But that's
thoroughly appropriate -- women have gotten so much by guys dying.
- ABC/NPR correspondent Cokie Roberts
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits
of the world.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a
deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on
Earth.
- Feodor Dostoevsky
Every once in a while you have to think about the woman who broke your
heart and say 'OH! Make that TWO FIFTHS OF JACK DANIELS!!!'
- Sam Kinison
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I
said, "I'll be the one in the leather jacket." She said, "I'll
be the one drinking sake." Turned out it was one of those
biker-sushi places. We never met.
- Stephen Wright
It means I believe in myself and I believe I make an intelligent
decision that won't interfere with your life, so do the same for me or
die like a dog!
- rock star Ted Nugent, when asked what his song
"Don't Tread On Me" meant
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be
particularly proud of, either.
- from "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in
LIFE IN HELL by Matt Groening
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an
important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- from "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in
LIFE IN HELL by Matt Groening
No one is more carnal than a recent virgin.
-- John Steinbeck
Sainthood emerges when you can listen to someone's tale of woe and
not respond with a description of your own.
- A.V. Mason, M.D.
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a
high powered rifle and scope.
-- P.J. O'Rourke
Football combines two of the worst things about American life.
It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
-- George Will
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical
invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts
them.
-- Mark Twain
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a
monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also
into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The last Christian died on the cross.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
The major contribution of Protestant thought to the knowledge of
mankind is its massive proof that God is a bore.
-- H.L. Mencken
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go
down and meet them with baseball bats.
- Woody Allen, on the KKK
Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's
toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various
places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add
immeasurably to world peace.
-- from "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson
-----------
1. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good
for a man not to touch a woman.
2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own
wife, and let every woman have her own husband...
8. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them
if they abide even as I.
9. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to
marry than to burn.
-- St. Paul, I Corinthians
The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral
was, as we see in the above passages from St. Paul, based upon the
view that all sexual intercourse, even within marriage, is
regrettable. A view of this sort, which goes against biological
facts, can only be regarded by sane people as a morbid aberration.
The fact that it is embedded in Christian ethics has made Christianity
throughout its whole history a force tending towards mental disorders
and unwholesome views of life.
-- Bertrand Russell, "Marriage and Morals"
----------
More than at any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One
path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total
extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
-- Woody Allen
Here the ways of men part: if you wish to strive for peace of soul and
pleasure, then believe; if you wish to be a devotee of truth, then inquire.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no
humour in heaven.
-- Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse,
yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-- Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and
your dog would go in.
-- Mark Twain
...[I]t seems to be the fate of idealists to obtain what they have
struggled for in a form which destroys their ideals.
-- Bertrand Russell
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each
man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The thousand mysteries around us would not trouble but interest us,
if only we had cheerful, healthy hearts.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
--Voltaire
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything
else in the universe.
-- John Muir (1838-1914)
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
-- Kurt Vonnegut
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.
-- Stella Adler
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
---Walter Bagehot
Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.
---Robert Frost
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet
reminds you of someone else.
---Ogden Nash
The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards
--Alexander Jablokov
"The Place of No Shadows"
It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that
encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice
witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.
-- televangelist Marion "Pat" Robertson,
speaking of the Equal Rights Amendment
I think I'd probably put a bullet in my head if I had Robin Leach
over to my house.
-- actor Tim Robbins
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human
mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance
in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should
voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto
harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge
will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position
therein, that we shall either go mad from the relevation or flee from the
deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
-H.P. Lovecraft, "The Call of Cthulhu"
Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the
greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the
world ugly and bad.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
For others do I wait...for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant
ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul:
laughing lions must come.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality
at any point.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
[W]e shall continue to have a worsening ecologic crisis until we
reject the Christian axiom that nature has no reason for existence
save to serve man.
-- Lynn White, Jr., "The Historical Roots of Our
Ecologic Crisis", Science V. 155 No. 3767 (10 March 1967),
pp. 1203-1207.
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity
would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance
from knowledge.
- Voltaire
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
- Mark Twain
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
but they've always worked for me.
- Hunter S. Thompson
A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to
suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
- Carl Sagan, "Contact"
What do they call a comedian who doesn't get any laughs? A
philosopher.
- Phil Proctor
Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people,
and times, it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
... the Earth hath skin, and the skin hath diseases. One of these...
is called man.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The masses seem to me worthy of notice in only three respects: first
as blurred copies of great men, produced on bad paper with worn plates,
further as a resistance to the great, and finally as the tools of the
great; beyond that, may the devil and statistics take them.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on
the shoulders of giants.
- Isaac Newton
It is not enough to prove something, one also has to seduce or elevate
people to it. That is why the man of knowledge should learn how to
speak his wisdom: and often in such a way that it sounds like folly!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.
- Abraham Lincoln
I hold that a little rebellion is a good thing.
- Thomas Jefferson
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or
no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
- Thomas Jefferson
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood
of patriots and tyrants.
- Thomas Jefferson
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain
occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
- Thomas Jefferson
The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live
ones.
- Nathaniel Howe
It is not enough to have knowledge, one must also apply it. It is not
enough to have wishes, one must also accomplish.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it
is and not as it should be!
- Miguel de Cervantes, "Don Quixote"
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
- Winston Churchill
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to
be when you kill them.
- William Clayton
Beware the fury of a patient man.
- John Dryden
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls
and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why
the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
- Dom Helder Camara
The country that draws a broad line between its fighting men and its
thinking men will find its fighting done by fools and its thinking done
by cowards.
- Sir William F. Butler
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never
worshipped anything but himself.
- Sir Richard F. Burton
Be regular and orderly in your life, that you may be violent and
original in your work.
- Clive Barker, "Jihad"
What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be
done; and there is nothing new under the sun.
-- Ecclesiastes 1:9
In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments - there are consequences.
-- Robert Ingersoll (Lectures and Essays, 3d Series,
Some Reasons Why, iii)
Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness...
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at
least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)
The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men
alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
-- Joseph Conrad
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
-- Dorothy Parker
Life always gets harder toward the summit -- the cold increases, the
responsibility increases.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
I can be expected to look for truth but not to find it.
-- French philosopher Denis Diderot
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But, ah, my foes, and oh, my friends --
It gives a lovely light.
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence
of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
-- Sigmund Freud
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in
praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
-- Philo
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a
sense of humor to console him for what he is.
-- Francis Bacon
Do what is right, though the world may perish.
-- Immanuel Kant
There is no opinion so absurd that some philosopher will not express it.
-- Cicero
How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an
enemy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Love tells us many things that are not so.
-- Krainian Proverb
To be loved is very demoralizing.
-- Katharine Hepburn
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
-- Anatole France
The greatest love is a mother's; then comes a dog's; then comes a sweetheart.
-- Polish Proverb
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Be humble for you are made of dung. Be noble for you are made of
stars.
-- Serbian proverb
I would believe only in a god who could dance.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
God has no religion.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge
increaseth sorrow.
-- Ecclesiastes
I live in my own place
have never copied nobody even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace
to laugh at himself -- I laugh.
-- inscribed over the door to Friedrich Nietzsche's house
Pope John Paul would be more popular if he called himself Pope John
Paul George and Ringo.
-- Paul Krassner
God made man because he loves stories.
-- Yiddish saying
There are no facts, only interpretations.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned,
and the scum floats to the top.
-- Charlie King
Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
I shall light a candle of understanding in thine heart, which shall
not be put out.
-- from The Apocrypha
Pulvis et umbra sumus.
(We are but dust and shadow.)
-- Horace
Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.
-- Carlyle
Heavy the sorrow that bows the head
When love is alive and hope is dead.
-- W. S. Gilbert
Every revolution was first a thought in one man's mind.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Philosophy is the highest music.
-- Plato
It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially
true.
-- George Santayana
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make
us love, one another.
-- Jonathan Swift
Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
-- Thomas Jefferson
If there be a hell upon earth it is to be found in a melancholy man's
heart.
-- Burton
Whom the gods destroy, they first make mad.
-- Euripides
His heart was as great as the world, but there was no room in it to
hold the memory of a wrong.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (on Abraham Lincoln)
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
-- Tennyson, Lord Alfred
Knowledge is power.
-- Thomas Hobbes
God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for
scars.
-- Elbert Hubbard
So live that you can look any man in the eye and tell him to go to
hell.
-- Anonymous
To desire immortality is to desire the eternal perpetuation of a great
mistake.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
Nessun maggior dolore, Che ricordarsi del tempo felice Nella miseria;
(There is no greater sorrow than to recall, in misery, the time when
we were happy.)
-- Dante
If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire
Must then Christ perish in torment in every age to save those that
have no imagination?
-- Bernard Shaw
If anything is sacred the human body is sacred.
-- Walt Whitman
from "I Sing The Body Electric"
What is beautiful is good and who is good will soon also be beautiful.
-- Sappho
An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire
existence.
-- Honore de Balzac
The American people know what they want, and deserve to get it,
good and hard.
-- H.L. Mencken
Our dignity is not in what we do, but in what we understand.
-- George Santayana
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
-- Sylvia Plath
It's just so uninteresting to live without love. Life has not risk.
Love just seems to make life not just livable, but a gallant, gallant
event.
-- Toni Morrison
Devils can be driven out of the heart by the touch of a hand on a
hand, or a mouth on a mouth.
-- Tennessee Williams
Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast or of
one thing too exclusively.
-- Voltaire
Whereof one cannot speak, thereon one must remain silent.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain
cannot be denied -- it speaks in silence to the very core of your
being.
-- Ansel Adams
knowlege is a polite word for dead but unburied imagination....think
twice before thinking.
-- e.e. cummings
At the core of all well-founded belief, lies belief that is unfounded.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
-- Voltaire
Some men see things as they are and ask why.
Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
The nearer the Church the further from God.
-- Bishop Lancelot Andrewes (1556-1626)
Be happy while y'er leevin,
For y'er a lang time deid.
-- Anonymous (Scottish motto)
It is true, that a little Philosophy inclineth Man's Minde to Atheism;
but depth in Philosophy bringeth Men's Mindes about to Religion.
-- Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make
out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.
-- Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)
Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'etre oblige de'en pleurer.
(I make myself laugh at everything, in case I should have to weep.)
-- Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais (1732-1799)
Better pointed bullets than pointed speeches.
-- Otto Von Bismarck (1815-1898)
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found
difficult and left untried.
-- G. K. Chesterton
Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their
hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,
without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only
in the God idea, not God Himself.
-- Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish philosopher and writer
Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
-- Kahlil Gibran
Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
-- Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian
So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and
our doubts serve to reassure us.
-- Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
-- Voltaire
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so
certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure
will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after
all, no more than mere spectators of life.
-- Ryunosuke Akutagawa
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
-- Samuel Clemons (Mark Twain)
In the fields of Hell where the grass grows high
Are the graves of dreams allowed to die.
-- ?
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Who is wise? He who learns from everyone.
Who is powerful? He who governs his passions.
Who is rich? He who is content.
Who is that? Nobody.
-- Ben Franklin
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you
cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
-- Thomas A. Kempis
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging
their prejudices.
-- William James
We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the
rest of our lives there.
-- Charles F. Kettering
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in
life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.
-- Booker T. Washington
To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an
eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in
eternity.
-- Soren Kierkegaard
We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.
-- Dr. Albert Schweitzer
Civilization degrades the many to exalt the few.
-- Amos Bronson Alcott
See the happy moron,
He doesn't give a damn.
I wish I were a moron,
My God! Perhaps I am!
-- anonymous
Life is one long process of getting tired.
-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of
every organism to live beyond its income.
-- Samuel Butler
We think as we do, mainly because other people think so.
-- Samuel Butler
The history of art is the history of revivals.
-- Samuel Butler.
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
-- Samuel Butler
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
-- Samuel Butler
If it has to choose who will be crucified, the crowd will always save
Barabbas.
-- Jean Cocteau (1891-1963)
A man is as old as he's feeling,
A woman as old as she looks.
-- Mortimer Collins (1827-1876)
He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be.
-- Pierre Corneille (1606-1684)
Veni, vidi, vici.
(I came, I saw, I conquered.)
-- Gaius Julius Caesar (c. 102-44 BC)
Salus populi suprema est lex.
(The welfare of the people is the ultimate law.)
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC)
Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
-- Sir Noel Coward
Everybody worships me, it's nauseating.
-- Sir Noel Coward
But what is woman? -- only one of Nature's more agreeable blunders.
-- Hannah Cowley (1743-1809)
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog
that is news.
-- Charles Anderson Dana (1819-1897)
Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate.
(Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.)
-- Dante Alighieri (1265-1321)
Wherever God erects a house of prayer,
The Devil always builds a chapel there;
And 'twill be found, upon examination,
The latter has the largest congregation.
-- Daniel Defoe (c. 1661-1731)
Men are but children of a larger growth.
-- John Dryden (1631-1700)
The woman who runs will never lack followers.
-- Ashley Dukes
What we call "Progress" is the exchange of one nuisance for another
nuisance.
-- Henry Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)
Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Quem metuunt, oderunt.
(They hate whom they fear.)
-- Ennius (239-169 BC)
Scitum est inter caecos luscum regnare posse.
(It is well known, that among the blind the one-eyed man is king.)
-- Gerard Didier Erasmus (c. 1465-1536)
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
(War is sweet to those who do not fight.)
-- Gerard Didier Erasmus (c. 1465-1536)
Je plie et ne romrs pas.
(I bend and do not break.)
-- Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695)
De la peau de lion l'ane s'etant vetu
Etoit craint partout a la ronde.
(Dressed in the lion's skin, the ass spread terror far and wide.)
-- Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695)
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the
poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal
bread.
-- Anatole France (Jacques Anatole Thibault) (1844-1924)
There never was a good war, or a bad peace.
-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without
marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin
All would live long; but none would be old.
-- Benjamin Franklin
I never dared be radical when young for fear it would make me
conservative when old.
-- Robert Frost (1875-1963)
Fear is the parent of cruelty.
-- James Anthony Froude (1818-1894)
It is always darkest just before the day dawneth.
-- Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)
In all the woes that curse our race
There is a lady in the case.
-- William Schwenck Gilbert (1836-1911)
All the world over, I will back the masses against the classes.
-- William Ewart Gladstone (1809-1898)
Guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.
-- Hermann Goering (1893-1946)
I wish you would read a little poetry sometimes. Your ignorance
cramps my conversation.
-- Sir Anthony Hope Hawkins (1863-1933)
Life is just one damned thing after another.
-- Elbert Hubbard (1859-1915)
There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
-- Edward Wallis Hoch (1849-1925)
They who drink beer will think beer.
-- Washington Irving (1783-1859)
A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.
-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
Every man has three characters: that which he exhibits, that which
he has, and that which he thinks he has.
-- Alphonse Karr (1808-1890)
Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie.
-- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a Smoke.
-- Rudyard Kipling
On n'est jamais si heureux ni si malheureux qu'on s'imagine.
(One is never so happy or so unhappy as one thinks.)
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter
us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and
remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln
It's no use crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the
universe were bent on spilling it.
-- William Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands,
hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H.L. Mencken
Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.
-- John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But hating, my dear, is an art.
-- Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
I almost think it is the ultimate destiny of science to exterminate
the human race.
-- Thomas Love Peacock (1785-1866)
Scimus te prae litteras fatuum esse.
(We know that you are mad with much learning.)
-- Petronius (d. c.66 A.D)
He who can, does. He who cannot teaches.
-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Thank heavens, the sun has gone in, and I don't have to go out and
enjoy it.
-- Logan Persall Smith (1865-1946)
Education...has produced a vast population able to read but unable to
distinguish what is worth reading.
-- George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876-1962)
Experience, the name men give to their mistakes.
-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox -- the unspeakable
in full pursuit of the uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde
Let us start a new religion with one commandment, "Enjoy thyself."
-- Israel Zanguill (1864-1929)
I wanted only to try to live in accord with the promptings which came
from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?
-- Hermann Hesse
When men exercise their reason coolly and freely on a variety of
distinct questions, they inevitably fall into different opinions on
some of them. When they are governed by a common passion, their
opinions, if they are so to be called, will be the same.
-- James Madison
Without music, life would be a mistake.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
No human thing is of serious importance.
-- Plato
Great wits are sure to madness near allied
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.
-- John Dryden
unless you love someone nothing else makes any sense.
--- e.e. cummings
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
--- Henry David Thoreau
When Life does not find a singer to sing her heart she produces a
philosopher to speak her mind.
--- Kahlil Gibran
You are blind and I am deaf and dumb, so let us touch hands and
understand.
--- Kahlil Gibran
You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one
with whom you have wept.
--- Kahlil Gibran
Lovers embrace that which is between them rather than each other.
--- Kahlil Gibran
Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too
grave to laugh, and too self-ful to seek other than itself.
--- Kahlil Gibran
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