Prologue | Here it is! The last race of my season! I am really aiming high for this one! I feel rested, and my week of biking on the TRAM has made my biking smooth...and....this is a race I've done before as part of a "bootleg" event in 1996! I'm psyched! I arrive about one hour prior to the race start, chat with other triathletes, and get my gear set up. No problem! The race packet said nothing about the run course, and I had previewed the bike course last night...what a FLAT course! I could really hammer and go for an excellent time! The swim would just be another swim (swimming is my "thing"). My only worry at this point was the high probability of a race director screw-up somewhere along the line (course markings, post-race goodies, water stops, etc.). I was just about ready for ANYTHING!
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The Swim | I'm wetsuit-ready and willing to go for it! We have a ten-second countdown, and I'm off! Funny, though, I don't remember anyone tagging along for a ride....but there's a fish just right up there with me, just behind the front group! "What're you doing here?" I mumble into the water. "I'm your guardian fish," it reasponds, "and you're gettin' your butt kicked out here!" "Hey! I'm doing just fine!" I retort. "Then why are you back here and your competition's waaaaaay up there?" "Oh, I get it! You're a figment of my imagination! I must be gettin' loopy our here with all these weeds --- maybe there related to that certain "weed" my students are so fond of talking about...." "Nope," my fish states. "I'm really a fish, I can really talk, but just to you." "Great! A fish that can just talk to me! But why ME?" I groan. " 'Cause you look like you might be fun to tag along with --- I can listen to you, talk my scales off, and no one else will think anything of it. You DO know that there ARE fish in this lake?" My fish must think I'm dumb or something...."Yes, of course there are fish," I say. "Good. Now that we're on the same wavelength, let's get you going here! The swim train is leaving you behind, my friend!" "OK, OK!" I've only been around this fish for a minute or so, and it's already getting on my nerves! Not the way to have a great swim, let me tell ya! Only a few moments pass, and my swimming "buddy" cries out, "Why are you going this way? I think the correct way is more to the right...." Sure enough, I look up and see no one in front of me, and several swimmers more to the front and RIGHT of me. Could this fish really help? I'd just keep swimming and see... I get near the last buoy on the first leg without any other comments from my assistant, and then he shouts "Last buoy ahead! Right turn! Right turn!" "Thanks," I mumble. "I already knew that...." "Just trying to help!" I make the turn, swim a short 50-100 yards, and make the final turn for home. Yikes! I can't see! "Hey, buddy! You there?" "Yes, my dear Watson?" Oh great, a smart aleck! "Which way to the shore?" "Try straight ahead." That's ever sooooo helpful...."Can you be a bit more specific?" "No. And three swimmers from the wave behind you just passed while you floundered!" I stop talking and start swimming to keep my "friend" quiet. So much for help.... The sun is still bothering me, and all my fish friend can say is "Two more swimmers have passed. You're losing ground!" "Let's think of something positive to say!" I almost shout. "OK. You've passed the two slowest swimmers from wave one, the only wave in front of you. Man, if you just passed them, maybe you should pick it up...we're almost to the end, ya know...." "Oh, REAAALLY," I say with clenched teeth. "Cut the crap and keep me going until the end!" "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to offend. Keep your stroke smooth and power in; only 200 yeards to go! Keep it up!" "Much better," I congratulate my assistant. "Now let me go, and see if you can keep up!" I power ahead to the weeds and finish strong, aiming for the balloons so thoughtfully placed over the gate to the transition area. It gets shallow, I stand up, change my mind, and dolphin to the end of the swim. My fish friend has one last comment: "I enjoyed talkin' to ya, now get your butt movin'!" I grumble, hit my watch, and marvel that the time went so fast, yet the swim took me 28:30. Not my best time, but considering the sun and the weeds, I was pleased. Thanks fishy!
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The Bike | T1 was uneventful, and I was outta there in just over two and a half minutes! Wetsuit and all! The bike course ran out of the park up a short hill just to get out of the transition, and I was ready to burn rubber! I crested the short hill, and turned onto the main part of the course. This course followed the old run course from the bootleg 'thon I'd done, so I was familiar with the first two miles or so. Unfortunately, instead of hammering (my early plan), I was panting and gasping for air! I couldn't figure it out! I'd come out of transition just fine, and coasted along at 18-19 mph for a good 1/2 mile before cranking it. Now I could barely keep myself going at 18 mph! Yikes! "Psst. Hey, bud!" What? Did I just hear that? No, it must just be the wind in my helmet...."Hey YOU!" I hear it again. OK, so maybe I'm slipping in and out of reality...Or I'm about to die....That's why I'm hearing little voices....I decide to respond to the "voice" just to see if it will talk back. "Yeah, whatta ya want?" "Slow down and sit up, and you'll feel better." I do what it says, and, miraculously, I AM BETTER. Maybe this hearing voices thing is ok! "Thanks for the suggestion." I say, more to myself than anyone else. "No problem. BTW, I'm IN your helmet just above your left ear, so don't hit me...." Did I just hear it correctly? It's IN my HELMET? "You're in my helmet? What and who are you?" I query. "Andy Ant at your service!" he replies. "I hitchhiked on your helmet in transition, and didn't jump off in time, so here I am!" First it was the fish, now I've got this annoying ant! What is it with me that attracts them? I guess I can live with this ant, as long as he doesn't bite! "So, how's the weather up there?" I start pleasantly. "Great, if you like wind," Andy replies. "Any other suggestions for my riding? I'd really like to cruise this thing and get on the run!" "Sure! Just forget I'm here, and I'll pipe up now and again with race strategy! For your second piece of strategy, try passing that rider up ahead before we get to the turn ahead." I complete the task, keep on cruising, and get to the turn. "Take it tight!" my voice in the ear shouts. "OK! Thanks for your help!" I say. The volunteers think I'm talking to them....but they don't know my secret assistant is on board....The next five miles fly by, and then I begin to struggle up a very gradual incline. "Did you remember to drink, drink, drink?" Andy Ant pipes up. "I forgot...." I mumble and take a long drink or two from my water bottle. "Good Job!" What a buddy this ant is turning out to be! We reach the section over a major highway, turn right, and begin a series of slight rollers. First, a big downhill section for me to crank! "Hey! I'm about to slide off!" my buddy screams. "Head inside the helmet!" I shout back. People around me think I must be nuts, with comments like that! "Whew!" my ant assistant says as we head up and down the rest of the rollers. "This is a blast!" "Glad you like it!" "BTW, we're more than halfway," he says, "and I bet you still have some juice left. Go for it!" I bump it up a few notches, and begin the last section of the course averaging 22 mph for most of the way back. Soon, I coast the last section toward transition. My buddy for this section was a great booster, and I couldn't have done it without his help! One last turn, and I'm in! I rip off the helmet, and...."Oh, nooooooo!" I spot Andy Ant on the ground, not moving....Such a good helper, and he certainly didn't deserve such treatment! I put on my running gear, slurp down a packet of PowerGel, leaving the packet on my towel. I inadvertently drop it near my buddy Andy, and whatta ya know! A drop of the gel hits him, and he begins to move! Yeah! I saved him! "Go get 'em!" he says, "I'm fine!" I flash him the "OK" sign, then hustle up the hill out of transition once more!
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The Run | I'm getting used to these helpers! Maybe I'll get lucky and one will be with me this leg, too! I plod along the first mile or so, and begin to get it in gear at about the first major turn in the course. That PowerGel must have been the ticket! Several runners are passing me, but I'm not too concerned.....this hasn't been my strong point at any race, so I'll just keep going and finish....although a friend wouldn't hurt.... Just after about two miles and the water stop, I notice something flying about my head. Oh, no! A bee! Yikes! "Get Away!" I swat the bee. "Bzzz. Hee hee!" What? It laughed at me? It must be my day! "Bee, are you trying to make me run faster, or just annoying me?" "Trying to make you run faster by annoying you!" "Great! Keep me going, but don't get to close! I don't want to get stung!" I keep swatting at the bee, it keeps coming back, and I make it to the next turn....so far, so good! "BTW," I intone, "How'd you pick me?" "Oh, that's easy. You're the one with the colorful hat, and you know how we just loooove color!" Yup. I was wearing my Mrs. T's Pierogies hat in blazing yellow, blue and white. Just the ticket for a busy bee to swarm me! I keep going, noting that I'm on track for a good run as I spot the three mile mark and am well under 24 minutes, my usual time. I hit four miles just after the last water stop, downing water and an UltraGel (gotta love that banana creme!); my busy bee friend notes that and sticks by --- hoping for a handout, maybe? Soon, I'll be done, and I couldn't have asked for a better return to this race! At the last turn, my "friend" says "Goodbye!" and I'm on my own for the home stretch. I power in and stop the watch as I hit the line. 2:32! Alright! I'd hoped for a 2:30, but since the bike course was actually 27 miles instead of the printed 25, I knew I'd had a great day!
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Postscript | Who woulda thought that my "friends" would've been so much help? Of course, I knew I had it in me, and could have done just as well without them, but it WAS fun having them tag along! Hope you all have races with critters such as these, and if you think it's a voice in your head, think again! A good close to a pretty good season! Now, I'd like to rest a bit! I plan on hitting the weights in the off-season to add some strength, and then it'll be next season before I know it! Yahoo! Have a great season, and see many of you next year! |