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| editorials | letters | features | contact | links |
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To the Tune of the Monkees Theme Tune (from TV)
Hey Hey it's the MONARCHS,
people watch them fumble around.
They're too busy punting,
to score a touchdown !
They just try to stay healthy,
Just to finish one game,
They're due
for relocation,
'Cos they've got no fans who pay !
Words by Doug Adamson and Alan Gibson
| Scotland | London | |
|---|---|---|
| Stadium | Murrayfield Stadium | A building site in south-west London |
| Backfields Party | Bands, competitions, best in the WLAF | Mobile disco in a different postcode |
| Entertainers | The Clan, Fun Bunch, Mad Pipers | The Roly-Polys |
| Mascot | Shuggie McGurk | Snoring George |
| Team History | Worst-to-first in 1996, current World League champions | Won the World Bowl in 1991, but have been crap ever since |
| Team Song | Boom Boom Boom | Tomahawk Chop |
| Supporters | Completely mental | Completely sad |
| Running Backs | Siran Stacy | Ron Dickerson |
| Helmet Design for 1998 | Same as Ever | More realisitic |
