From:  "Amy Harrand" 
Subject:  I *AM* James Bond! 
Date:  Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:38:49 -0500 
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Ok, everybody sing the Mission Impossible theme song with me! 

Yeah, Yeah, I'm mixing metaphors, oh well. 

I have a funny anecdote for y'all though: 

This morning I went out to clean my car off.  A good idea, considering we got 2-4 inches 
of snow (I'm not sure of the exact total, some melted).  Now, I shoveled the driveway 
yesterday, just to make sure that I'd be able to leave this morning.  And while I was 
shoveling, I thought to myself "You know, that car has a good blanket of snow on it, maybe 
I should clear it off?"  but it was cold, and my hands were already wet, and I was sweaty 
from shoveling the driveway.  The car didn't get cleaned off; bad move. 

So, as I was saying, I went out to clean the car off this morning.  I went to unlock the 
driver's door, but the lock had frozen.  "Not a big deal" I thought to myself.  You see, 
the lock had frozen last week too, and I still haven't gotten around to buying any WD-40 
to squirt in there, so I was half expecting it.  However, I knew that the passenger side 
wouldn't freeze, right? 

Right!  Yes, that's the good part of the story: The passenger door was unlock-able, so I 
did, and then I walked back around to the driver's side to get in, get the scraper, and 
clean the car off. 

But wait, there's more! 

Lo and behold, I couldn't OPEN the driver's door - it was frozen shut!  So, I trundled 
back to the passenger's side, thinking to work the same magic. 

*BZZ!* 

Wrong!  The passenger's door is frozen shut as well!  That leaves me in a quandry: Should 
I call in to work again today, saying I can't come in b/c my car hates me?  That it taunts 
me visciously?  But my first duty of the morning was to get my car fixed, and I was bound 
and determmined to do that! 

So, having my "good" set keys with me (I normally carry the valet keys only, that merely 
unlock the doors) I used those good keys to unlock the TRUNK.  Yes, the trunk.  Which did 
indeed unlock, and did indeed open with some coaxing (I had about 20-30 pounds of snow 
and ice on the trunk, I'd guess) though I had to hold it open. 

And here's where James Bond comes in: I put the back seat down, then CLIMBED INTO the 
trunk and closed the lid.  Yes, if I couldn't get the doors open, I could have been locked 
in my car with only a tool set, a maglite, a towel, and a cell phone.  What a fate. 

So, I crawled through the opening left by the seat, fumbled my way to the front, put down 
the driver's seat, and....... 

         ****OPENED THE DRIVER'S DOOR!**** 

Hallelujiah! 

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So, in conclusion, I am James Bond. I'll be signing autographs later this week. 

In comparison to that death-defying feat, the 2 1/2 hour wait at the auto repair place was 
nothing, and the 45 minute drive to work on crappy roads was a cakewalk. 

Yeah, who-da-man? ;-) 

-Amy 

And for the particular importance of that towel and the phrases "Don't Panic" and "Mostly Harmless" check out The Guide