Life has become death, of living I despair. My soul cries for a saviour, but I allow no fear. "My body must be vanquished!", my mind shouts in anguish. I block my ears! I can't shut it out! My mind screams and screams! Enough, enough! No more pain, no more sadness. No more! No more...!
I must be calm, I must contemplate. I must savour my last moments as I decide my fate. Heaven? Tell me, is there a hell? Is death blissful sleep or fire? God have you left me? Can I aspire? To join you - to rise - to fly. Surely you understand, I cannot stay. You see why I must do it, why I must go away. Something awaits on the other side. Here nothing is left, out goes the tide...of my life Please understand that I cannot go on...
Through a haze I remember past successes, the tinkling sound of my own laughter. The warmth of a smile of a love that was mine. Now all that is before me - painfully clear - is the hurt and the pain and...the fear? I am afraid - I admit it, I am - I was...I expire. In the death of my body lies the death of my hope - of my tomorrow - of me. Maybe if I wait, just one more day, maybe things will be better then, maybe. NO. It must be done. I am too weak to live, I must be strong. Strong enough to die, strong enough to kill.
To kill? I cAN't, I cAN't, I CAN'T! I must, I mUSt, I mUST, I MUST! Tears on the blade catches my eye, It glints - such colour pretty lights. See as it comes closer, as the blade tilts... Oh no! They fall, the light is gone...so is my life.
Ohh...it stings, blood is red, life is white powder. White powder soothes my veins. Feeling so good, but my consciousness wanes. Is this death, am I dying? I can't see! I can still smile...sighing. No! No! I don't want to go. Not like this, I want tomorrow! God forgive me.
A final bright flash - as clear as the daylight I will never see. It speaks of my life the way it used to be. When I was alive and so happy. I smile...I cry - I sigh. Forgive me...I shiver - I die.
